Who doesn't love a good card game? Especially when every card drawn means that one of our smartly-dressed beauties is going to get messy?

"The Thirteen Actions" is a traditional Langstonedale card game for up to four players. Each player is allocated a suit, and there is a list of messy consequences for each card drawn. So for instance, the Ace means "pour stuff into the front of the player's underwear", and which player suffers the fate is determined by which suit's Ace has been drawn.

In this case, with just two players, we used a deck with just two suits, diamonds and spades, for every diamond, Honesuckle will suffer a messy forefit, while for every spade, Lady Jennifer's suit will meet the mess.

Both girls know they're going to suffer all thirteen possible actions and end up totally drenched in mess, but only the cards know which order their gooey fates will come in.

Both girls end up completely drenched in mixed mess from head to toe including shoe and boot filling, and full messy shampoos and facials. And afterwards, there is a fully-clothed hose-down too.