I used to enjoy filming the Missus and me having messy sex. We'd set up our paddling pool and lights and camera press 'record' and dive in. But then it started to become more about the filming than the sex and eventually we got fed up having to stop mid-splosh to adjust the lighting or focus or just making sure we were squarely in the scene!

Then we found Jim - part splosher, part camera nerd. Jim didn't take much persuading to come along as our cameraman and although he's a little younger than us he's still old enough to remember the good old days of slapstick sploshing. Best of all, he's confident enough not to worry about showing that he quite enjoys his work. We've both noticed his rather large trouser-bulge at our last two shoots and Julie wants to find out more!

Jim is round at our house again today. We're half an hour in to our messy session and Jim's trouser tent is well and truly pitched. The pair of us in our inflatable pool are a proper disgrace. Julie's once-pristine office outfit is a ball of mush in the corner and all she's wearing are her hold-up stockings and high heels. And once again we've gone overboard with beans, custard pies , sauces, porridge, margarine, flour, paint, spaghetti, rice pudding, mushy peas, treacle Since we discovered Jim our slapstick scenarios have become ever more outlandish and revolting. This bucket of stinking greasy-grey sludge is about to go over Julie's head and she is about to cum, kneeling in the slop with half a slippery sex toy in her fist and the other half buried inside her cunt.

''And next time don't mess around with my tax return!'

Her head disappears under a tidal wave of goo. A corny line and improbable scenario but what the fuck! Office tart gets her comeuppance. Jim's eye is stuck to the viewfinder as he catches her shaking in tortured bliss slipping onto her back with her breasts quivering in orgasmic tempo.

The room stinks of sex and ketchup. I step out of the pool and Jim pauses filming until Julie hauls herself up onto all fours, backs herself up to the camera and parts her swollen pussy lips with her thumb and forefinger wide enough to see pink inside.

'I'm yours if you want a go' she purrs.

Jim almost drops the camera. Want a go? It sounded like an invitation for a cheap fairground ride. Jim searches for my eye contact as if to seek approval.

'Better get in with her if you want a go Jim'

'But I ain't brought any protection. Condoms like'

'And?neither have we' Julie replies.

Jim stands up and slowly takes off his watch, seemingly undecided.

'Today would be good Jim!'

It's delicious watching him strip, baring clean white flesh and quite muscular until his dick bounces out of his whipped-off boxer shorts and sets solid at a steady forty-five degrees to his tummy. Big glossy bell-head and leathery-looking ball sack there's no hiding his intentions now!

'Having second thoughts dear?'

Then he climbs into the pool gets to his knees and, without any nod to foreplay whatsoever, takes her doggy style, with her head pushed up against the inflatable wall of the pool. Oh my word! I'm all-thumbs with the camera trying to capture the action. With a steady warm-up he's now stretching her balls-deep and all the while she's wailing like a banshee with each thrust.

He pauses and pulls out with an audible 'Pfffut!' from her twat. She doesn't move from her head-down, bottom-up fucked-up pose. He scoops up handfuls of soft slop and smears it over her hair, back, arse and hanging boobs.

Then he's back inside her, kneeling on the remains of her suit jacket to get maximum purchase for his feral fucking.

'Waaaah!...yes!....yes!...yes! Julie groans.

With his big hands resting on her hips he's playing with her like he's riding a space hopper. Who'd have guessed our cameraman nerd was a proper fucking porn star? He stops and screws his face up. I know that look. I know that feeling. Like Canute desperately trying to hold back the tide. Maybe he's not such a porn star after all. He pushes out half a dozen more plunges.

'I think I'm going to come!' he moans. 'Can I'?

Too late! His groaning tells me that every push from this point is flooding her cunt with his spunk.

Holy shit! He collapses forward onto her back and reaches down to give her filthy tits a final fondle then rolls off her and into the pool whilst Julie mouths me a silent OMG! Lying down in the goo, Julie spreads her legs to let me film the translucent stream of spunk oozing from her twat. Neither of us expected anything quite as intense as that.

'I...I'm sorry if that was a bit...ungentlemanly' blurts Jim.

I look across to Julie. We both know it was absolutely amazing! Our splosh-sex lives might just have taken an incredible turn.