When I was a young adult (I think I was 19) I managed to appear in the audience of a studio-based wildlife TV programme, aimed at young people. It was a fun show with lots of crazy stuff going on, but also informative. On this particular day, somebody had asked how the average animal stays so clean, without using soap or proper washing facilities. Strange question! The presenter decided to pluck two "volunteers" out of the audience to explore ways of getting clean, but this, of course, meant getting dirty first! In the middle of the studio was an enormous tank, full of thick, scary looking brown stuff, that turned out to be mud. I'd noticed it, but hadn't really thought much about it, assuming it was part of an animal's habitat or something (they often had live animals in the studio as part of the show). I quickly realised that they planned to make some members of the audience have a very muddy time! My mouth went dry as I imagined the humiliation that getting into that mud was going to bring for two poor people!

The first volunteer was a young lady, of similar age to me. She wasn't actually a volunteer at all, she just got pulled out of the audience. She looked shocked and not a little terrified, but was smiling and laughing about her fate, and seemed generally happy to get muddy. She was a sweet little blonde girl, very attractive and nicely dressed. The presenter then said about getting one more person, and that he thought generally, girls were too clean and we should get two of them completely covered in mud! He started coming towards where I was sitting. I must admit, my heart was in my mouth as he approached, I didn't want to get dirty, I mean, I'd just had my nails and hair done! Surely I wasn't going to be dragged out of the audience? He grabbed my arm and said something like "here's our second volunteer" and before I knew it I was standing next to the other girl, at the front of the audience, feeling very nervous! It appeared that we had inadvertently signed up to get very, very muddy.

The presenter explained that in order to test out natural cleaning methods, he wanted us to get really dirty and the way we were going to achieve this was by using the massive tank of mud. To be more specific, he was going to make us actually get into the tank and play in the mud! I guessed they'd have stuff for us to change into, maybe boiler suits and wellingtons? But, amazingly, the presenter told us that we had to go in the mud in our own clothes! Literally, what we were wearing as we stood there. We were going to get completely filthy........ To be fair, he did ask us if we minded doing it, and I had plenty of opportunity to back out. But something about the project lured me in. Thinking about it, I guess having a legitimate reason to sink in mud and squelch around in what were close to my best clothes, was pretty exciting in a strange way. The other girl still looked scared but amused, and said she'd go in the mud bath, as long as she didn't have to go home muddy. She wanted assurance that her clothes would be washed after getting covered in mud.

I couldn't believe what was about to happen to me! Because I had thought I might be glimpsed on TV, I'd worn a fairly conspicuous purple long-sleeved T-shirt, which I'd bought especially, with a really nice black cardigan and my favourite blue jeans. I thought about my underwear and remembered that I was even wearing a really nice pair of black and turquoise socks! And now I had to basically take a mud bath without taking any of it off. And as each second passed I could feel my nerves slowly changing to excitement.

Just before leading us to the "wallow zone" to get down and dirty, the presenter turned to us and said "Ok girls, can you please take your shoes off". He explained that the mud was really wet, and very thick and deep and if we had our shoes on when we stepped into it they would be sucked off our feet and we would lose them! I stopped for a moment to consider that, imagining losing my shoes in the mud, and reluctantly realised that he was probably right! Especially as I was only wearing tiny little slip-on ballet pumps! The other girl smiled slightly and bent down to pull her trainers off. She was wearing a really gorgeous pair of socks. They were black and white striped ones, with little pink pigs on them! I remember thinking how apt the pigs were considering what was about to happen. The rest of her outfit consisted of a dark green shirt and tight black jeans. She decided she wanted to be the first one in the mud and scampered towards the tank in her sexy socks. Surely she'll take them off I thought. But no! She grinned as she did a little jump over the side and plunged her stripey feet into the dark brown mass of gurgling ooze. I watched in amazement as those stunning socks disappeared into the mud. She landed with a surprisingly loud squelching noise, and plunged in almost knee deep, with a muted squeal. It looked firm and thick, but really squelchy under the surface. She laughed as she awkwardly dropped to her knees and fell onto her front in the mud, and in doing so her feet came back out and pointed skywards as she laid on her front. I could still see a little bit of black and white stripe and pink pig on her socks, but they were mostly pretty muddy! Seeing how instantly filthy she had become really made it hit home what I was about to do. I was still really nervous, but I had to admit there was a buzz of excitement. At this point I noticed a studio PA system loudly blasting out a rendition of "Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud". This ramped the fun factor up even more! I couldn't wait to get my shoes off and get into the mud to join the fun.

I took my shoes off as instructed, feeling a little bit self conscious of the bright turquoise heels and toes of my black socks! They looked really cute and sassy, I thought I'd just take them off and leave them with my shoes. I started to remove them but the presenter said "No Lauren, the point is to get your whole outfit dirty, no shoes are allowed but you have to wear your socks in the mud! The experiment won't work unless you get your socks dirty!" I did as I was told and pulled them back up firmly, secretly quite pleased that I at least wouldn't be barefoot in mud (that thought was scary!) As mentioned, I was wearing an almost new pair of smart, thin black socks with contrasting bright turquoise heels and toes. I'd chosen mainly black socks to match my black ballerinas as it was a cooler time of year and I didn't want cold feet! I remember thinking, yet again, how sassy and colourful they looked, and how vulnerable I felt as I padded over to the tank in them. The hard floor felt really cold through the thin socks too! The bright blue accents on the dark socks really stood out! I couldn't get my head around the fact that I was about to jump shoeless into the mud! I'd never really been muddy in my life, let alone in nice clothes and socks! But I couldn't shake the feeling that this was probably going to be very good fun! I was pretty much aching to get into that cool, dark sludge even if I did have to do it in my socks!

"OK, into the mud you get Lauren!" boomed the presenter. "We'll keep your shoes safe, all you have to do now is have fun getting all muddy for us, go on, hop on in, start with your socks, have a really good squelch around in there!" The presenter certainly seemed to like my socks, but who could blame him, they were gorgeous! (Well, they were gorgeous as I stood there clean, but they were about to go to sock heaven via a mud bath! It was a really odd sensation standing there in those smart new socks, knowing that I would be deliberately ruining them in the mud)

With the continuing rendition of "Mud, Mud, Glorious Mud" in the background, I couldn't quite believe what I was doing as I climbed over the side of the tank and nervously lowered my shoeless feet towards the mud. I paused just before making contact with the wet ooze to admire my jazzy socks for the last time. Then, turquoise tips first, I eased them down into the heavy, wet mud, with a sigh. It was quite thick but yielded easily under my weight and I quickly sank well over my ankles in it by the time I was standing on the bottom of the tank. It was shocking watching my brightly coloured socks disappear into the heaving quagmire! It felt so cool and heavy as it stuck all over my jeans and socks, imagine sinking into deep cow poo with no shoes on! I reckon it was nearly a foot deep too. It was so cold! I just stood there, very nearly up to my knees in mud, not sure what to do next. I felt quite awkward and embarrassed, but also strangely proud that I'd done something so gross! It actually felt lovely and free not having shoes on, I wiggled my toes, enjoying the smooth, squelchy feel of the mud through my socks. It felt a bit like paddling in the sea, except I was wearing socks and it was thicker and much filthier! The other girl was laying down on her back in it by now, caked in the stuff, looking up at me and laughing.

"Down you get Lauren!" said the presenter. "For the experiment to be a success we need you to be really dirty, you've got to lie down in the mud! Go on, enjoy having a fun time wallowing in your nice clothes, you may have muddy socks, but those jeans and that cardigan are far too clean!"

His voice chimed around my head. "Enjoy having a fun time wallowing in your nice clothes" was playing on repeat in my brain. I guess I kind of realised that, although outwardly disgusting, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a proper reason to roll in the mud like a crazy child. It was at this point that I also realised how comparatively boring this activity would have been if they HAD provided overalls, wellingtons etc. It was kind of awesome that they'd expected us to get our clothes completely ruined in their massive mud bog. Standing in this deep mud in my new socks and smart jeans was making my belly fizz. In a good way. It was a real thrill. I was so excited about actually laying down. In mud!

I needed to get more to the middle of the tank to give myself room to sit down in it so that I could get my whole outfit muddy. I felt another spark of excitement about my forthcoming wallow! My eyes could scarcely compute how utterly covered in mud the blonde girl was by now, she was writhing and wriggling around, laughing and squealing constantly. I knew at that point that I was going to really enjoy doing the same, the mud was so smooth and creamy, I LOVED the feel of it. The presenter was ramping up the excitement by providing a running commentary. Something he said about pigs in mud made us all laugh! I think he was referring to the other girl's socks. Initially, I found it hard to move from my entry position, the mud was so deep and thick, it had enveloped my feet and legs! Each step was a very deliberate act, and as I withdrew my foot, there was a loud sucking noise that had people laughing, including myself! It went kind of "SCHLOPP! SCHLOPP! SCHLOPP!" as I stiffly made my way through the thick, wet mud! I could see, each time I pulled a foot from the sticky grip, that my lovely socks were now unrecognisable under a shiny layer of dark brown mud! They were definitely ruined! I was worried about them coming off, but as they were sleek, thin socks, they had pretty much glued themselves to my feet and proved to be excellent makeshift mud shoes. I was, to be honest, really surprised how hard it was to pull my feet out to make progress through the mud, especially considering I was in just socks and had no shoes to worry about. I also managed to splash my entire outfit with great globules of mud, but, far from being horrified, I loved how it felt as it splattered all over me! I mean, this was a really humiliating thing to happen to a fashion conscious teenage girl, but there was just something so wonderful about it! It would definitely have been impossible to have kept our shoes on our feet in there, I quickly realised that! *Imagine getting in this huge vat of mud, having your shoes sucked off your feet and then having to hunt for them! (Although, in hindsight, that would have been quite funny and it did, in all honesty, feel a bit odd having your socks completely slathered in mud, then being handed spotless shoes afterwards!)

*In the unlikely event of ever doing this again, I think it would be really fun and exciting to sink into the mud with my socks AND shoes on. I think it would be a definite that my shoes would stay behind in the mud but this would add a further element to the "embarrassment". Basically, I'd like to have my shoes sucked off by the mud!

Once I had squelched to the centre, I plopped down onto my bum, then laid down and rolled over onto my front. I couldn't believe how it felt to be writhing around in this brown gunge, fully clothed. It was disgusting, but also very nice in a weird way! I mean, we're always told not to get dirty, and here I was rolling in a massive heap of oozy mud, with nice clothes on! I couldn't help enjoying it. I got handfuls of mud and piled it up on the top of my head, and smeared it on my face, and basically just wallowed around until the presenter was satisfied that I was "filthy enough". I couldn't believe how heavy my cardigan and top felt. It really was amazing fun to be squelching around in there. It was like bathing in porridge! I soon forgot all about my muddy socks anxiety and just relaxed and made the most of the chance to do something so unusual. In fact, thinking about it, it felt freer and more fun and spontaneous just having socks on. I could just squelch around without worrying about ruining or losing my shoes, but at the same time, I wasn't barefoot, which I rather liked. Who knew socks were such a good choice for a mud bath? For fun, a couple of times I scraped the mud off my feet to see if I could see any of the black and blue of my socks! I just about made out muddy blue toes, before plunging the filthy socks back into the thick mud. I almost forgot I was on a TV show, I was having such a lot of fun wallowing and squelching the mud all over me! The other girl was doing much the same, we were laughing a lot at the state of each other!

"Are you having fun in there Lauren?" boomed the presenter. He was clearly enjoying watching us! "Why don't you build a mud-castle? Hahaha!" To keep him happy I sat cross-legged, waist deep in the mud and made some sloppy mud pies. I then put one on my head! I felt like a child, but in a good way, it was really fun! I had long stopped worrying about my ruined clothes and my new socks!

I was actually a bit sad when it was time to get out of the mud, I wanted to stay in for longer, slopping and squelching in it! It was so much fun being completely caked in this amazing slimy mud! I would estimate we were in there for 15-20 minutes in total, I'd have happily wallowed and burrowed in it for hours! The pair of us actually found it quite hard to get out of the tank, we were so bogged and buried in the end! I laughed again at the loud sucking sounds as I pulled my feet out of the ooze and climbed over the side. And my clothes felt so heavy as I squelched across the studio to the "cleanup zone". The hard floor was actually really slippery to walk on in my muddy socks. I remember looking down at my outfit and not seeing any colour at all, it was just a mass of shiny brown slime. I found this oddly satisfying! I'd covered every square inch of myself in mud! The other girl and I had a very muddy hug and high fived each other! I imagined the show being aired and my friends seeing me do this, and wondered what they'd make of it. I was known for NOT being into dirt!

In the end, we were given bathrobes whilst our clothes were washed. When I got mine back they were pretty dull and stained, particularly my jeans and weirdly, the bright blue parts of my black socks! The other girl's stripey socks were in a bit of a state too! But the TV people were generous and gave us vouchers for replacement garments. But obviously we had to travel home in our dull, stained outfits.

It was a very messy way to achieve five minutes of fame, my friends called me "MudGirl" for ages afterwards! I look back on it with fondness though, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I often wonder if the other girl feels the same.