All was still. Melissa studied the treeline intently. Where did they go? Just minutes before, when she and her comrades had taken refuge in this abandoned outpost, the woods had whispered with the sounds of pursuit. Now there was nothing. She wasn't fooled, though. Their hunters might not be in sight, but they were close.

They're playing with us, she mused. Letting us stew a while. Then, the second we let down our guard... She stifled a nervous giggle.

Slime time.

The outpost comprised a network of domes, all radiating from a central hub via short, cylindrical passages. It was in this hub that Melissa now stood, a central skylight bathing her in its golden glow. The circular space, supposedly the outpost's living quarters, was about the size of a bandstand and furnished with a few chrome benches. Every surface shone silvery white, and six keypad-operated doors marked the circumference like hours on a clock face. Those at two, six and ten o'clock led outside, the transparent slats looking onto expanses of sun-dappled woodland. Her friend Lisa had wasted no time in locking these.

Taking a deep breath, Melissa slowly turned a full circle. Still there was no sign of their pursuers. The anticipation was starting to make her jittery. The tallest of the three, she wore her blonde hair loose across her milky shoulders, the tips brushing the top of her white bikini. And we're meant to be playing scientists... The prospect of scampering around wearing so little had worried her at first; not because she was shy, more because something so skimpy might not withstand a gunging. Checking the knots for the umpteenth time, her lips pursed as she imagined slime splashing against her skin. Their time was almost up, of that she was certain.

A crackle of static caught her attention. It hailed from the control room to the east, where Lisa was reciting a scripted distress broadcast into a radio headset. "Hello, hello, does anyone read us?" announced the redhead, sounding convincingly frantic. "This is the research facility on Aurelius VII. Something's happened here. They're loose. They're everywhere. We need immediate evac. Does anyone read this?"

Again Melissa was struck by just how ridiculous this all was. Instead of an alien world, the three actresses were prancing around in the English countryside, filming an introduction for an upcoming charity event. Lisa sat facing a bank of screens and readouts, her lustrous hair reaching almost to the lateral strap of her top. Around her loomed stacks of scientific instruments, all quite blatantly fashioned from cereal cartons and wrinkled tinfoil. Even the buttons on the terminal were mostly just bottle tops. While Lisa went on, her voice becoming ever more desperate, Melissa couldn't help but be impressed - how could anyone deliver that earnest plea for help with a straight face?

Movement caught her eye. She hadn't yet had chance to investigate the northern chamber, but a sign above the door identified it as a 'Pumping Room', whatever that was. The place had intrigued Kirsty, however, and it was she Melissa had spotted. The vivacious brunette stood in profile through the archway, skin glowing golden-brown around the spaghetti-thin ties of her bikini. She was peering intently at a shiny panel on the wall, apparently trying to use it as a mirror. Melissa smiled grimly; fussing over appearances seemed a little pointless given what was coming.

Melissa, for her part, had no illusions. She'd known exactly what she was getting into when she'd boarded the flight from Sydney, though in all honesty she had no idea how she'd react if and when she was gunged. Thinking of the charities, however, helped keep any misgivings in perspective. Her gaze drifted to the final portal. This one was different - an imposing blast door instead of flimsy plastic. Upon it the words 'Escape Pod' had been stencilled in tall red letters. She didn't quite know what to make of it. If we're all doomed, why bother with an escape pod? Maybe we do have a chance. But then, wouldn't it all be a bit pointless if we got away clean?

With her thoughts twisting in circles, the sound of Kirsty's voice was a welcome distraction. "Any trouble out there?"

Again she looked outside. "Nope, nothing," she replied, surprised at the almost wistful tone to her voice. "Remind me, why are we in our cossies, exactly?"

A quiet titter drifted from the pumping room. "Why? Why not? I hear it's what all the top physicists are wearing these days."

Eyes narrowing, Melissa shot a suspicious smile at her companion. "You know, Lisa was right, the script did say lab coats."

Stepping away from the mirrored panel, Kirsty corrected the parting of her neck-length hair and padded into the living quarters. "Did it? I don't know... maybe they just thought it'd be funnier this way?"

"You seriously expect..." Melissa's voice trailed off. What sounded like a distant drumbeat had begun. Slow but insistent, it resonated through the chamber. Sloshing sounds became audible, quiet at first but building inexorably. It was getting nearer.

Spinning round, Kirsty's confusion became chuckling excitement. "Look, the walls!"

Melissa stared mutely as colour ignited around them. Greens, pinks, blues and yellows snaked across the dome's sides, transforming the sterile chamber into a living tapestry. Only now did she notice the lattice of clear plastic tubes, now filling with liquid, which patterned every surface like branching ivy.

Kirsty's first thought was to skip to the eastern door. "Lisa, it's starting," she teased, "too late to back out now!" Lisa's answering whimper was only half serious.

Another noise emerged, closer this time. From the pumping room there came a loud click, followed by a deep, shivering gurgle. Moving warily to the door, Melissa peeked through. A bizarre contraption, all twisting tubes and oversized cogs, filled the far wall in its entirety. It possessed a quality almost alien to behold, the dimensions somehow... off. It alone was fashioned from the same mottled resin as the cavern they had so recently escaped, as though the machine had come first and the facility built around it. An ominous-looking chute curled out from it like the horn of an immense gramophone, hovering above an empty, knee-high pool which covered most of the floor.

Melissa jumped as the mechanism whirred into life. A gurgle from the chute heralded a rush of syrupy pink muck, which sluiced into the pool with a percussive splash. It was followed by a second surge, custard this time, before the machine settled into a steady rhythm of pink and yellow blasts. Resisting the urge to scurry away, she sidled closer. The pool was already ankle deep.

It makes no sense, she thought. It's not like we're just going to climb in. Then she noticed the overflow pipes at the pool's brim, which fed into a cistern at the heart of the pump. Hmm, okay... so what happens when it's full?

With the machine showing no signs of stopping, she backed away and returned to the living quarters. Finding Kirsty waiting for her, she noticed something different. "Wait, where'd the benches go?"

"They just slid into the walls," replied Kirsty, looking incredulous. "Was that noise the pump?" Seeing Melissa's nod, the brunette's eyes practically sparkled. "So the pool's filling up?"

Melissa nodded again. "Too right it is, and I reckon something'll happen when it gets to the top. There's these pipes-" A sudden splash interrupted her. The pair exchanged a confused glance. "What was that?"

A klaxon wailed before they could investigate, and then an automated voice spoke above the racket. "Warning," it announced flatly, "perimeter breached. Warning, perimeter breached." As suddenly as it began, the klaxon ended.

Silence.

Slowly Melissa relaxed. "Well that wasn't so bad. I was half expecting-"

"You have got to be joking."

The voice was Lisa's. The redhead had appeared at the edge of the control room, her slender form outlined against a bank of flickering monitors. Arms braced against the doorframe, she stared at the southwest entrance.

Melissa turned... and gasped. A female figure stood behind one of the doors. She wore a green and black bodysuit, oddly bulky given her athletic frame, and had tied her auburn hair into a ponytail. Swirls of green war paint adorned the young woman's face and hands, and a mocking wave revealed a nozzle fixed into the sleeve below her wrist. The costume, for all its monstrous affectations, was not in the least bit frightening; if anything it looked more like a cheap Halloween outfit.

"Hi there," called Kirsty. Addressing her companions, she added, "I guess she's one of our monsters. And look - she brought some friends."

Other figures, similarly attired, had appeared behind the first. Within moments there were more at the other two entrances. All were female, and so far none had said a word. Kirsty waved cheerily to them, prompting Lisa to tap her gently on the head.

"Hey, what was that for?"

"They're the villains, remember?"

Kirsty shrugged. "No harm being friendly. Besides, they'll be sliming us in a second."

"Don't say that!"

"Why not? It's true."

Leaving the others to their banter, Melissa took a moment to savour the sheer lunacy of the situation. Here they were, dressed in swimwear, pretending to be scientists under attack from an infestation of slime-spewing beasties. The mind boggled. "Remember," she said, addressing herself as much as anyone, "this is all in a good cause. A little silliness never hurt anybody."

With a wan smile, Lisa nodded in half-hearted agreement.

"Why don't they just open the doors?" Kirsty wondered aloud.

Lisa threw up her hands in exasperation. "Nice going, Kirsty. Give them ideas, why don't you."

Their opponents must have heard the exchange, yet didn't even glance at the keypads. Melissa thought for a moment. "Maybe it's against the rules."

Kirsty fiddled with her hair. "Rules? Hmm, maybe. So why are they just standing there?"

To that, Melissa had no answer. Still, it seemed they were safe for now, and her confidence returned with each second that passed. Smirking, she tiptoed to the nearest door and peered at the silent figure beyond.

"Looking good," she said wryly. "I love what you've done with your makeup. And what's that on your hand?"

The woman made no reply. Instead she calmly raised her arm. As Melissa leaned in for a better look there was a soft hiss - and then the door between them turned green. With a shocked yelp she tottered back. The stranger smiled knowingly, a few last drops falling from the nozzle at her wrist.

Kirsty was almost shaking with mirth. "Girls, we are going to get so, so messy."

The robotic voice sounded again. "Hull compromised. Time until outer defences breached: two minutes and counting."

Lisa's mouth dropped open in horror. "What?"

Butterflies fluttering in her stomach, Melissa peeked back to the waiting figures. "Does that mean the doors are about to open?"

Kirsty rubbed her hands together. "Looks like, unless anyone has any brilliant ideas?"

The three friends peered round, searching for inspiration - trying desperately to think of something, anything. Their foes watched patiently. All seemed hopeless. Suddenly Lisa's voice went up an octave. "Wait, look! There's something on the screen." With that she sprang back to the control room. Kirsty and Melissa shared another confused glance before following.

The control room was cluttered with various beeping gizmos, none of which served any actual purpose as far as anyone could tell. Lisa stood before one of the few monitors not made of card, her delicate features bathed in the screen's neon glare.

The speakers crackled once again. "One minute and counting."

Resting a hand on Lisa's shoulder, Melissa leaned forward. There was a picture of one of their uninvited guests at the side of the screen, accompanied by a chunk of waffling exposition which she had no time to read, though she did catch a title. Seriously?

"Gunge Ghouls? They're actually called Gunge Ghouls? That's the best name they could come up with?"

Kirsty sniggered. "Don't make fun, that's a solid five minutes brainstorming right there."

Lisa ignored them. "Here! See this bar?" she said quickly, jabbing at the screen. "It popped up when the machine started. Look, it's in sections. When the first one filled, the siren went off." She pointed to another line which neatly bisected the column of green pixels. "So when it gets to there, the doors open."

Kirsty looked baffled. "Sorry, not sure I get it."

Suddenly Melissa straightened. "Right, I think I see what you mean. Each thing happens once enough gunk gets pumped in-"

"So if we stop the pump, we're safe," Lisa finished.

"Thirty seconds and counting."

Melissa leapt to the door. "Then we'd better hurry!"

Before she could go any further, however, Kirsty grabbed her hand. "Melissa, wait," she chirped, "there's no time, but there's a keypad thingy right here. We could seal ourselves in here."

Lisa shook her head. "It'd only slow them down. We'd buy ourselves a couple of minutes, tops. We have to try this."

It took only a moment for Melissa to weigh up her options. Oh, what the hell. "Alright," she declared, "I'll do it. I'll make a run for it and you can shut the door behind me."

Lisa offered her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Mel."

Taking a deep breath, Melissa faced the living quarters, the others crowding behind while she quickly adjusted her string bikini.

"Ten seconds. Nine... Eight-"

Kirsty seemed pleasantly surprised. "You're sure about this?" she whispered.

"Six... Five-"

"Positive. Wish me luck!" With a squeak that was equal parts terror and exhilaration, Melissa sprang forward. Lisa hammered the keypad almost before she'd passed the threshold. The door slid shut. She was on her own.

"Two... One... Zero. Outer defences compromised."

Melissa's heart was pounding. She was only a third of the way across when the countdown expired. A chirping buzzer, a rasp of opening doors, and then the ghouls were flooding in. A dozen gleeful eyes fixed on her. Here we go.

Chaos descended. The first ghoul flew right at her, arms outstretched as though seeking an embrace. Suppressing a girlish squeal, Melissa sidestepped nimbly and darted past, leaving her opponent flailing in her wake. Ha! So far, so good. Maybe I can do-

Then liquid was spattering her left arm. Blinking with surprise, she slowed, shoulders hunching as wetness exploded against her bare back. The unseen mess swept from left to right, smooth and slippery against her skin.

Or maybe not.

Staring blankly, she swivelled toward the source of the spray. Immediately she realised her mistake. A smiling ghoul stood only a few feet distant, dripping sprayers levelled in her direction...

Melissa could only splutter with shocked laughter as twin streams of light-blue gunge crisscrossed her bikini-clad body, one arcing across her lower stomach and dribbling onto her hips, the other splattering her top, squirting over her left clavicle and sailing over her shoulder - a few stray drops speckling her cheek. The ghoul gave Melissa a cheerful wink as the rest surrounded her.

*****

Safe behind the plastic door, Kirsty watched raptly. Melissa was just standing there, transfixed, amid a seething mass of ghouls. Slimy rivulets trickled down her front and dripped lazily from her curves, but the demure blonde seemed too stunned to notice.

"Why's she stopped?" hissed Lisa.

"We should help her," said Kirsty, a hand moving to the keypad by the door.

Lisa's response was emphatic. "No way."

Cackling, one of the furthest ghouls sent a hail of custard soaring through the air. The range was long, however, and only a few splodges found their mark. The patter of yellow slop through her long hair seemed to jolt Melissa from her reverie. Finally noticing the tightening knot of ghouls, she sprang clear with a single graceful bound and made off, leaving her opponents stumbling into one another.

"Hah, go Mel!" cheered Kirsty, hands bunching as she willed her friend on.

Slime flew everywhere. The ghouls fired wildly, trying to second-guess Melissa's position and, for the most part, failing. Yet, for all her agility, sheer numbers were beginning to tell, and great flower-shaped splodges soon blossomed over Melissa's right side. With green and pink streams sliding down her leg, she was caught off-guard when a ghoul sprang into her path. Even so, she managed to dodge sideways at the last moment, leaving her hapless foe to be pelted by friendly fire. Chased by beams of slime, Melissa raced around the chamber's edge, the wall behind her becoming a slithering rainbow.

Lisa whispered under her breath, "She's going to make it."

But one ghoul had been smarter than the others. This one, a curvaceous brunette with striking grey eyes, had held back before committing herself. Now, having deduced Melissa's destination, she pounced. Melissa's spirited run should have ended there, but somehow, with a swish of flaxen hair and a twinkle of blue eyes, she seemed to pirouette past her lunging foe. Recovering quickly, the ghoul twisted and fired, green gunge lancing from her wrists, but Melissa was already through the door.

"She did it," muttered Kirsty, not quite believing what she'd just seen, "she actually did it." Stunned by the balletic display, she and Lisa stared at each other, then at the slat of plastic separating them from the ghouls. Both knew what would happen if it opened.

Kirsty summed it up for the both of them. "Wow, just wow."

*****

Spluttering with thrilled relief, Melissa skidded to a halt and slammed the nearby keypad. A hail of flying muck coated the door as it closed. A few pounding heartbeats later and the portal was sealed. She was safe. With a dreamy sigh she leaned against the wall, her tension ebbing away. Hah, that was quite fun.

A crescent-shaped gangway bordered the pool. Passing the mirror on the wall, she couldn't resist taking a peek at her reflection. What she saw prompted a giggling groan. Blue gloop had oozed down her left cheek and dripped from her jaw, while splotches of custard speckled the opposite temple like dew on a cobweb. Remembering the initial impact, she turned sideways. Sure enough, more of the blue stuff adorned her back, winding streams having slithered over her bikini bottoms and dribbled along the backs of her thighs. Nose wrinkling, she pawed at her stomach, scattering a few gooey globules with a deft flick of the wrist. Despite all the gunge, she felt an odd sense of pride; she was messy, certainly, but nowhere near as messy as she ought to be given the number of them out there. Part of her wanted to race back out and have another go.

The pool now brimmed with a lurid concoction of pink and yellow sludge. More kept pouring from the chute, while overflow pipes drained the excess back to that bizarre pump. What was more, a trapdoor had opened over to the right, on the wall above the gunge. Had that been there before? Recalling the splash from earlier, she put two and two together; something must have fallen into the tank, no doubt to raise its level even faster.

Remembering she was still against the clock, Melissa examined the pump. Her brow furrowed - there seemed to be no controls of any kind. Baffled, she switched her focus to the whirring cogs. Maybe I'm meant to jam them with something, but what? There's nothing else here... A look of horror spread across her features. She peered back to the open hatch, then at the churning vat of slime. Oh no, is that what dropped in? Edging to the pool, she peered over the side. The gunk within was thick and glistening. Whatever else might be in there, finding it would mean clambering in and dredging it out.

Hips wiggling nervously, she took a step back and swept her hair behind her shoulders. She was going to get covered. Thoughts of the good causes benefiting from this event filled her head. Was helping them really worth such indignity? She already knew the answer.

Nibbling her bottom lip, she glanced to the ceiling, trying to spot the hidden cameras. "Alright," she announced, "I hope you're happy. I'm about to make a right idiot of myself."

With perfect balance she lifted a leg over the side and, exhaling softly, began to lower it, turning her body sideways as she did so. Only then did she notice something odd. The mirrored panel on the wall was a fraction ajar. The whole thing was hinged. Her toe stopped mere millimetres above the slime.

"What the..." Retracting her leg, she turned her back to the pool and swung the panel open. Inside was a dizzying array of switches and lights. The controls to the pump. "Oh you're joking! And to think I almost..."

Only one tiny problem remained, namely that none of the switches were labelled.

Great - and I have trouble working a photocopier.

Seeing no alternative, she began flicking switches at random, blissfully unaware of the figure rising silently from the pool behind her.

*****

Temporarily thwarted, the intruders milled around the living quarters. A few stood outside the control room, peering in at Lisa and Kirsty. With the door to the pumping room shut, not to mention coated in slime, there was no way of telling how Melissa was doing.

Lisa spoke first, her voice anxious. "Well she made it inside, at least. The hard part's done... right?"

Kirsty tapped lightly on her shoulder. "Uh, I hate to be the voice of craziness," she began, "but should we even be trying to escape? Isn't the whole point of the scene that they're supposed to get in and gunge us?"

Lisa shrugged dismissively. "I wouldn't worry. We were told to improvise, right?"

"I suppose."

"Well, there you go."

The brunette didn't seem entirely convinced.

A siren wailed briefly. Suddenly uncertain, the ghouls in the living quarters peered up as a series of shower heads sprouted from the walls. Mouths gasped in unison, and then green gunge was squirting everywhere. Figures stumbled and squealed, a few slipping onto their backs amid shimmering jade fountains. From the safety of the control room, Lisa danced on the spot. "Yes! I knew she'd do it!"

Feeling a nudge at her side, she noticed Kirsty point to one ghoul in particular. "Ha-ha, look at that one."

The grey-eyed brunette had moved to the room's centre. Barely keeping upright under the gooey bombardment, she tried to yell instructions to her comrades but to no avail - they were already fleeing back outside. Engulfed by slimy torrents, the ghoul finally conceded defeat and backed to the nearest exit, where she paused to glance back at Lisa. Smiling wickedly, she uttered a single word and then was gone.

The doors shut of their own accord, and slowly the downpour relented. Lisa licked her lips. The splashing hadn't entirely muffled the solitary word, and now her body quivered on repeating it.

"Soon."

*****

For most people, being asked to flop through a hatch and into a vat of gunge would seem like an unusual request. For Amy, performing arts student and occasional Gunge Ghoul, it was par for the course. Knowing what awaited her hadn't made the experience any less surreal, however. Since her somewhat messy arrival she'd been biding her time, lying almost submerged in the creamy mire.

Now, slowly, she stood, taking care to avoid any loud splashes as the pinkish-yellow concoction slid from her costume. Directly ahead, a beautiful blonde faced the wall, her daring white bikini marred by a few splashes of goo. It was almost too easy. Savouring the sweet anticipation, she stalked closer and prepared to pounce.

I love this job.

*****

With one final, defiant groan, the flow from the pump's chute eased to a trickle. Still bouncing with pride, Melissa closed the shiny panel. Mission accomplished. Lisa and Kirsty owe me big time for-

Her mouth dropped open. There in the reflection, right behind her, stood a grinning, gunge-covered ghoul. Slimy hands wrapped around her waist, and by the time she realised what was happening it was already too late. She could only squeak as the ghoul toppled backward, dragging her into the pool.

The room seemed to tilt drunkenly, and then creamy slop engulfed her legs and sprayed up her sides, thick and cool. She found herself staring at the ceiling, her top half angled out of the sludge. The pool trembled, lazy ripples rebounding from the sides to leave ticklish tidemarks around her navel. Realising her head rested on someone's shoulder, her surprise gave way to comprehension - she was at the ghoul's mercy.

A whimsical sigh whispered through her hair. "So you're a scientist, then?" the intruder purred.

Struggling to find words, Melissa tilted her head up, long hair trailing over the other woman's chest, and nodded. The ghoul sniffed, arms tensing as they slid beneath the mire. "Never much liked science class, myself."

Here it comes. Slowly Melissa's defences lowered, cheeks reddening as her arms moved into a surrender pose. Finally she found her voice. "But... but where did you come from?"

It began. Gunge splashed up from left and right, the ghoul's arms tearing like whisks through the sludge. Melissa could only wriggle helplessly as a constant, spattering deluge swamped her face and chest. Hints of strawberries and vanilla touched her lips as she tossed her head, trying to divert slime away from her eyes. Gunge poured down her in viscous rivers, channelling between her breasts and streaming down her sides.

Her front was awash with yellow and pink ooze by the time she gathered her wits. Seeing no other option, she closed her eyes and rolled sideways. Save for her head, which she managed to keep above the surface, her entire body sank into the sludge, which churned about her waist as she rose to her knees. Feeling oddly exhilarated, she eyed her opponent through lank strands of sodden hair. The smirking ghoul had adopted a similar pose, and for a few long moments they waited, each expecting the other to make a move. For some reason the bedraggled ghoul looked relieved. Noting Melissa's look, she grinned, teeth startlingly white against the gaudy backdrop.

"Sorry, it's just... we had our doubts. Nobody knew how pampered showbiz types would react to all this."

Trying not to chuckle, Melissa feigned offence. "Pampered? I'll show you pampered!"

The ghoul yelped as slime splashed her face. Seconds later and all was madness, the pool frothing and roiling as the pair hurled gunge at each other. Lifting her head, Melissa squeaked with laughter as a glistening wave swept up her stomach and broke against the underside of her bikini top, but still she matched the ghoul splash for splash. She felt her shoulders loosen as her embarrassment faded. Slowly she was gaining the upper hand.

With a shocked look on her face, the ghoul reeled back into the mire. Melissa took the opportunity to shake free her slimy hair. "Didn't expect that, did you?" she said softly.

On wiping her face, the ghoul suddenly remembered the sprayers at her wrists. Uh-oh. From that moment the playful struggle became hopelessly one-sided. Eyes closed, Melissa could do nothing to stop the slithering bands of purple gloop that swished across her body. The game was up. Lowering her arms, she watched the colours slide across her contours, mixing and melding in a hypnotic swirl. Noting the lack of opposition, the ghoul slowed, savouring her triumph. Just as Melissa was about to speak, another splodge struck the crown of her head. Where did that come from? A second later and another fell, a lurid green globule which tumbled past her face, leaving a wet smudge at the tip of her nose.

Seeing her confusion, the ghoul grinned. "You know what that means?" she crowed, pointing to the green trickle now pattering into Melissa's hair. "It means you're about to be eliminated." She offered her hand. "Ready?"

Melissa sputtered, verdant droplets blowing from around her lips. "B-but... am I not messy enough, or something?" The flow from above was growing steadily stronger. Slime swept through her hair, which fell heavy against her shoulders even as oozing tendrils dripped down her face. Chuckling softly, she took the outstretched hand. "Okay, ready."

Grasping Melissa's arm, the ghoul pulled forward into an embrace. When their bodies touched, the reason for the bulkiness of the ghoul's outfit became vividly apparent. Large sections were made of a soft, spongy material which, as it turned out, secreted vast amounts of gunge when pressure was applied. Melissa squealed again, a purple eruption slathering her front and squelching through her top. The flow from above rose to an emerald cascade that poured in pulsing waves over their entwined figures. Still locked in the embrace, Melissa rested her chin on her opponent's shoulder, murmuring wordlessly as the maelstrom raged.

*****

Back in the control room, the girls' cheering halted at the sound of the intercom. "Melissa has been eliminated."

It was as though someone had run an ice cube down Lisa's spine. "What?" she exclaimed. "How did that happen?"

Kirsty seemed equally baffled. "I-I don't know. The door's still shut, nobody got in after her."

Muttering under her breath, Lisa scurried back to the monitors. "There must be something else. Something we missed."

Kirsty remained peering into the station's hub. The three external doors had sealed automatically once the last ghoul left, leaving the slime-strewn chamber silent and deserted. "You think it's safe to go out there?"

"I wouldn't," Lisa replied without looking back. "At least in here we know we're safe."

There was a short pause before Kirsty responded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. That's kind of the problem."

Lisa froze at the telltale whoosh of an opening door. Looking up from the monitors, she was in time to see Kirsty step gingerly into the living quarters. Wheeling, she looked Lisa in the eye, as though trying to judge the redhead's mood. Whatever she saw seemed to please her. The door between them closed.

Now what's she up to? With a nervous smile flickering at the corners of her mouth, Lisa approached the doorway. "Come on, Kirsty, don't be an idiot. Get back inside." Her friend made no response. Rolling her eyes, Lisa tapped the door's release button. Nothing happened.

Kirsty's matter-of-fact tone couldn't disguise the mischief in her eyes. "I wouldn't worry, Lisa. It'll open by itself in a couple of minutes."

Say what? Lisa was getting anxious now. "Kirsty, what are you doing?"

Slime squelching between her toes, the athletic little brunette sauntered to the room's centre and halted. Lisa watched with mounting disbelief as Kirsty fidgeted, repeatedly checking the knots of her skimpy white bikini. Is she psyching herself up?

Satisfied that everything was secure, Kirsty skipped to the nearest entrance. Bobbing nervously, she eyed the waiting ghouls. Beyond the plastic door stood a gorgeous blonde, her hair already streaked green, who watched quizzically, unsure what to make of the situation. Kirsty seemed to falter, her gaze flicking between the ghoul and the nearby keypad.

Oh my God - she wouldn't! "Okay Kirsty, stop mucking around. Get back here."

It was the wrong thing to say. Kirsty flashed a cheesy grin. "Huh? Me? Muck around? Honestly, I'm shocked. Would I muck about on a serious occasion like this?"

Lisa made a placating gesture. "Okay, fine, just don't do anything silly."

"Silly? No worries, this is all in the script. My script, at least."

"Uh, what?"

The smile widened. "Oh, just a few little notes in case anybody got too clever, nothing to worry about. Right, where was I?" Kirsty adjusted her hair one last time, tucking the dark locks behind her ears, and then reached for the door's release button.

Lisa's shook her head frantically. "Wait! C'mon, you wouldn't!"

"Really? Wouldn't I? Let's find out." With the softest of hisses, the door began to open.

"No!"

Kirsty backed away as the first - rather confused - ghouls stepped hesitantly through the open portal. "Hi there, make yourselves at home." Lisa watched, speechless, as Kirsty danced to the second entrance. "After all," she called back to Lisa, "you know me - would I ever do anything silly? It's not like I'd ever, let's say... switch our lab coats for bikinis. That would never happen." Smiling mischievously, Kirsty peeked over her shoulder, no doubt to revel in Lisa's expression.

"You did what?"

The second door was already opening when Kirsty flitted to the third and final entrance. She was struggling to contain her laughter now. "Or, you know, switching on the pump in the first place - that definitely wasn't me."

The ghouls, growing in confidence, were spilling back into the living quarters. Lisa could only stare, helpless. There was still a flimsy plastic door between her and them, her last defence before the gunge, but if Kirsty was right even that would be disappearing soon. Hands at her temples, mind seething with a curious mix of revulsion and delight, she could muster only a single word.

"Why?"

Kirsty shrugged capriciously. "Remember those pranks we used to play on each other? She who laughs last...."

With the final door beginning to open, Kirsty backed toward the chamber's centre, already quivering with mirth at what was about to happen. Dark eyes twinkling, she stopped beneath the skylight and lifted her arms aloft. With ghouls swarming around her, she called out, "Now try not to make a mess of the place, we've just redecor-"

The sentence devolved to a yelp as the gunging began, jets of slime traversing the chamber like windblown ribbons. Green gloop striped Kirsty's toned midriff, stray globs spattering her thighs even as the spray moved upward, gelatinous tongues licking against her bikini top. No sooner had she begun wiping at the viscous slop when custard spurted from somewhere to the left. An arm deflected some, but more splashed against her hip, the stream gliding up her flank to spill over the side of her breast. With the last few blobs speckling her neck and cheek, Kirsty dissolved into fits of laughter. The gunge kept coming. Purple muck arrived from behind and to the right, skittering across her bikini bottoms while yet more, pink this time, pattered into her hair. Some whizzed over her shoulder to splat a surprised ghoul in the forehead.

Lisa, despite everything, found herself fighting back a chuckle. Whatever else happened, at least she'd have the satisfaction of witnessing Kirsty's comeuppance. The encroaching ghouls had formed a circle, creating a spectacularly messy crossfire with Kirsty at its centre. Her squirming comrade made a few half-hearted attempts to shield herself, but the effect was negligible. Slime splattered everywhere.

Sweeping muck from around her eyes, Kirsty looked down at herself. Her front was a sea of green and blue, her lightly-tanned skin and gleaming white bikini almost buried by the ceaseless bombardment. She glanced up just as another ghoul sidestepped into her field of vision - and then gasped as pink slime strafed her. Her face a mask of squiggled splashes, she closed her eyes and tittered uncontrollably, trying in vain to release the goo collecting in her top.

Lisa watched now with undisguised delight. It transpired that the colour of a ghoul's outfit matched the slime they shot: green and black shot green slime, pink and black shot pink slime, and so on. There were half a dozen of them around Kirsty, who could only writhe and laugh beneath the barrage. Soon, however, the door in front of Lisa would open, and she still had no idea what she was going to do. Still, Kirsty seems to be enjoying herself. Maybe it won't be so bad?

Kirsty tried to turn towards her, but lost her footing on the padded but slime-slick floor. There was a muffled splash as she sprawled to the ground, shapely legs sliding about, while around her the ghouls rushed in. The first to arrive crouched and pressed close, eliciting a playful shriek as pink goo coated Kirsty's back. Flooding over her shoulders, the viscid rivers snaked down her front before splashing into her lap. The ghouls were relentless; more arrived from left and right, adding their own colours to the mix, covering the laughing figure in a seething kaleidoscope of slime.

Suddenly the door in front of Lisa slid open. With her last defence stripped away, she stifled a yelp and clamped her arms protectively across her front. Nothing happened. The ghouls were preoccupied with Kirsty, where an overhead spout of thick green gloop now splashed haphazardly over the slimy mass of bodies. With the barrier gone, Lisa could hear every sigh, splash and giggle.

She stood there awkwardly, knees rubbing together. Now what? Even if she'd wanted to, there seemed no chance of rescuing Kirsty - though from the sound of things it seemed doubtful she even wanted to be saved. There seemed nothing to do but wait her turn to be gunged.

Then it hit her. How could I have been so stupid? The escape pod! It's literally been signposted the entire time! Seizing her chance she edged out into the living quarters, nose wrinkling in distaste as gelid slime slurped between her toes. She moved as quietly as she could, desperate to avoid any undue attention. The door she wanted was on the opposite wall, meaning she'd have to tiptoe around Kirsty and the ghouls. The sheer quantity of gunge spilling over her companion was a sight to behold. The closer she got, the harder it became not to laugh.

Already she was halfway across and still no-one had noticed her. This might just work. Kirsty was swishing her bowed head from side to side beneath the emerald torrent, watching the flow skitter and change course. Strands of hair, streaked with vibrant pinks and verdant greens, trailed like rat tails down the sides of her face. It was in trying to clear these that Kirsty looked up - and froze.

Damn. She's seen me. Okay, Lisa, play it cool...

There was a pause as the two made eye contact. Grimacing, Lisa brought a finger to her lips in a 'shush' gesture. Kirsty seemed to ponder matters briefly, before doing just what Lisa knew she'd do.

"Hey girls, look who's here!"

As one, the ghouls looked up. All eyes fixed on Lisa.

Not good!

Everyone seemed caught off guard. There was a long moment of surreal silence before Lisa shifted nervously, made as if to speak - and then bolted. Three ghouls scrambled to pursue, the others remaining to slather Kirsty some more. Reaching the blast door, Lisa punched the access button. There was an agonising pause before it began opening. Come on! What's taking so long? Her pursuers were mere seconds away when the door finally jerked open, revealing a surprisingly long, straight passageway. Muttering with relief, she darted forward.

A surprised yelp escaped her lips as liquid splashed her lower back. "It's okay," she mumbled to herself. "It's only a few drops, it doesn't count. You can still make it." Ignoring the slop oozing over her bikini bottoms, Lisa resumed her mad dash for freedom. Not far now. The corridor ended in another bulkhead, beyond which lay the escape pod - and victory.

A voice issued from overhead speakers. "Kirsty has been eliminated."

Hah, serves her right!

It had come down to a simple race. Lisa had the edge, but not by much. Soft hisses announced bursts of slime being launched her way, but she was faster than her burdened pursuers and most of it landed harmlessly on the floor, though stray blobs tickled her shins and heels as she ran.

Kirsty's voice sounded from down the corridor. "Run, Forrest!"

Despite her haste, Lisa found herself grinning. Later she would have to find a way of repaying Kirsty for all this. Skidding to a halt before the door, she hammered the release button. Gears creaked into motion. No, this is taking too long... Lisa bobbed up and down, raring to go, but again the portal edged open at a torturously slow pace. The ghouls were catching up. Even more frustrating was that the screeching gears were plainly just sound effects, the door itself being nothing but cardboard and metallic paint. Heart pounding, Lisa peeked back.

Too late.

There was barely time to raise her hands and turn her head before the amber muck landed. Her left arm caught the worst it, but some deflected into her hair and more surged against her flank, painting lurid stripes across the reverse of her midriff. Its texture smooth as milkshake, the gunge was as she'd expected, yet somehow not - she'd expected to be repelled, appalled, and yet...

Blue sludge arrived from a slightly different angle. Having been fired from further away, it arrived as a sprinkling of scattered blobs which blossomed like bluebells on her hips and legs.

"No, no wait!" she pleaded, but the ghouls weren't listening. Trying in vain to shield herself, Lisa stood sideways to the door, flicking her hands back and forth in a vain attempt to bat aside the squirting slime. Before turning her face away, she caught a glimpse of Kirsty beaming at her from the corridor's end.

Not much longer and the door would be open. There was almost room enough to fit through, but not before another volley of multicoloured slop splattered on and around Lisa. Vivid pink globules dotted her hair and branched like laurel leaves across her forehead. Her eyes closed as it slid down her temples, the sensation odd but not unpleasant. Custard burst over her shoulder while green ooze slithered through her defences, sliding down her flank and seeping through her cleavage.

Be philosophical, Lisa. Imagine it's just water. Yes, only water, just thicker... and coloured... and slimy. Thick, slimy, coloured water... Lisa, you're an idiot.

Finally the door opened. Ha! Victory! With a triumphant cry she spun toward the escape pod. Yes! I escaped! I got a bit messy, yeah, but I did-

There in front of her, blocking the way, were three smiling ghouls. They'd been waiting for her. As one, they fired.

There was no time to react. Mess flew in glutinous torrents. The ghouls moved their arms while firing, causing the streams of purple, green and pink to merge and collide in mid-flight. Lisa could only stare, motionless, as it spattered her face, engulfed her top and streamed down her stomach. Jets of pink and green collided before reaching her, the resulting airburst showering her in strawberry-sized globules. A heartbeat later and purple muck splurged over her left hip before swishing up to coat her arm. Lisa could feel the streams glide over her, merging into a rainbow swirl by the time they pooled at her feet. Already the ghouls to her rear were adding to the whirlwind, custard and watery green goo pouring over her shoulders to squirm down her front.

Though Kirsty was merrily urging the ghouls on, Lisa, much to her surprise, wasn't annoyed. Slowly she smiled, seeing the funny side. The surging gunge played across her curves, washing away her apprehension, until finally she threw back her head, slime dripping from her once-red hair, and laughed. Kirsty cheered with approval.

Relaxing, Lisa flashed a playful grin at her opponents. "Right, reckon you can gunge me, do you? I'll show you." Scooping a handful of slime from her shoulder, she lobbed it at the nearest ghoul. It wasn't a great throw but it landed on her target's stomach, eliciting a surprised mutter. Ignoring the slime still spraying up and down her body, Lisa crouched to collect another handful from the floor. Her next throw caught a ghoul in the chest, jolting her into moving her arm in mid-shot and showering gunk over two startled comrades.

Lisa was still kneeling, tittering at the absurdity of it all and collecting yet more gloop, when a ghoul lunged in and hugged her. Custard enveloped her left side, spurting across her chest and painting half her face. Gasping in shock, she considered trying to break away. Instead, realising she was going to get covered whatever happened, she simply giggled, put one arm around the ghoul, and used the other to flick some slime onto the young woman's face. More closed in, purring with delight, to make Lisa the epicentre of an astonishingly messy group hug.

"That's right," she said jokily, "now I've got you just where I want you!"

Everything was a blur now. She was sitting in a puddle, her feet sliding in creamy slush. When she had chance to open her eyes, all she saw was a psychedelic swirl. The gunge lay everywhere, covering her body completely. Arching her back, she murmured softly; the oozing slime was strangely intoxicating. Haha, this'd cost a fortune at a spa.

Droll applause rolled down the corridor, coinciding perfectly with a falling torrent of green gunk that drenched Lisa still further. Between sheets of falling ooze, she glimpsed a cheerful and very messy Kirsty knelt nearby - the applause was hers. "Looking good there, Lisa," she called above the clamour.

An equally messy Melissa sprawled into view at the corridor's end, looking somewhat dazed. "So I'm guessing our plan didn't work?" she said dryly.

"You could say that," Lisa replied, her voice muffled by the deluge.

Suddenly the robotic voice boomed once more. "Alert, unknown organism detected. Station substructure compromised."

This took everyone by surprise. Contestant and ghoul alike had been expecting Lisa's elimination. Instead the ghouls exchanged glances before scurrying away. "Where're they off to?" said Kirsty, watching them go.

Lisa knelt up straight, jellied stalactites dangling from her arms and chest. The green torrent had ceased, though slimy streams still seeped down her body as she shook out her hair and adjusted her battered attire. Noticing Kirsty tittering, she waved an accusatory finger. "You can hardly talk. Have you seen yourself?"

Now they were alone in the slippery corridor. Hands and knees sliding treacherously, Melissa crawled over to join them. "I don't get it," she said to Lisa, "how come they didn't finish you off? You're messy enough." There was a snort of laughter from Kirsty. "And what was all that about an 'unknown organism'?"

Lisa was about to reply when something moved at the edge of her vision. Had the wall just juddered? Mentally she mapped out the outpost. Must've been my imagination, there's nothing behind there. Then it happened again, an unmistakeable quiver accompanied by a muffled clunk, like a bolt being drawn back. Slowly, preposterously, the corridor's side began to open. Twin panels retracted into a gaping void. Wisps of dry ice curled from the darkness, and then voices emanated from somewhere in the gloom. The muted muttering of stagehands was followed by the creak of straining wheels. The three gunged actresses sat mesmerised, mist swirling around their legs, as a faint outline appeared in the gloom. Lisa caught her breath - whatever it was, it was big. What was more, it was trundling straight at them.

Melissa shook her head in disbelief. "Is that... is that a puppet?"

The hulk was becoming more discernible now. As wide as a sofa at its base, it rose almost to the height of a man and glistened wetly in the slanting light, its surface wobbling like blancmange. Judging by the noise, a small team of stagehands and puppeteers were on hand to give the shambling mass an illusion of life.

Lisa's tongue felt heavy as she spoke. "It's the thing from the cave. From inside the cocoon."

Kirsty found her voice. "Um, girls look up."

Doing so, Lisa noticed a layer of clear plastic a few inches below the ceiling. Sprinklers dangled from it like a row of daffodil heads. A tremble of anticipation ran through her; it didn't take a genius to see where this was going.

"Girls," she announced, her gaze returning to the advancing blob, "call it a hunch, but I reckon I'm about to get well and truly eliminated. You might want to make yourselves scarce."

There was a squelch as Kirsty knelt beside her. Smirking, she gently tucked a strand of Lisa's hair back into place. "What, and miss your big moment? I don't think so."

Melissa groaned and resumed crawling, her long body dripping tassels of slime. "Count me in," she said, taking position on Lisa's right.

The uber-ghoul, or whatever it was meant to be, was now almost upon them. Its features were still indistinct behind the skein of vapour, but to all intents and purposes it was a giant, amorphous face, vaguely toad-like, with paper plates in place of eyes. The Art Department had quite clearly given up by this point. A line of stout tentacles fringed the thing's forehead like a primitive crest, flopping and twitching in a feeble attempt at making the thing seem animated.

Lisa was tempted to snigger at the low-budget monstrosity, but then she noticed the array of nozzles, spouts and sprayers that studded its ramshackle hide. What was more, on second glance there appeared to be a large hose mounted within each flailing tentacle. Now she understood; this thing might not look like much, but every last detail was designed with the express purpose of getting people as messy as humanly possible. And now it was coming for her.

Hysterical giggles bubbled from Kirsty and Melissa as they realised what lay in store. A dull rumble sounded from the ceiling, and then the tank above them began filling with green slime. The creature wobbled ever closer.

"Come on, then!" jeered Kirsty. Her bravado was a joke at her own expense - she knew full well what was coming.

"Yeah, don't mess with us!" added Melissa, laughing. "We're scientists, you know. You can tell by our outfits."

Lisa looked at her friends. No amount of gunge could obscure their beauty. Both squirmed with nervous excitement as they taunted the comical monstrosity, daring it to cover them in slime. Feeling strangely tranquil, Lisa stretched her arms above her head and ran fingers through her sopping wet hair. She had only a bikini to protect her from the coming onslaught, yet the point of feeling self-conscious had long since passed. Above them the tank now brimmed with gelatinous sludge.

When the blob halted a few feet distant, Lisa simply grinned. Making no attempt to defend herself, she knelt up and lowered her arms to her sides. With a series of slurps and sloshes, gunk began to surge through the blob, the pressure building in anticipation of the grand finale. There was another click as the gunge tank prepared to deposit its payload.

Lisa took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, savouring the calm before the storm. Speaking softly, a playful smile on her lips, she uttered three words. "Do... your... worst."

Yelps rang out as the blob lurched into life. The plucky trio were writhing in fountains of slime even before the tank began to empty. Pea-green slop surged into the sprinklers and flew out in every direction, coating them utterly.

Lisa's body was alive with splashes of colour. The three of them were sat in a row, trails of gunge sweeping across them as the sprayers and tentacles worked their magic. Peeking left she spied Kirsty with her arms in the air, laughing hysterically, a smorgasbord of slime layering her face and chest. To the right, Melissa stared in wonderment as pastel torrents spilled from her quivering bikini top, which had begun to bulge with collected ooze.

All was chaos. Somehow the onslaught intensified, gushing hoses and squirting foam flying like streamers. Flopping forward, Lisa peered through the torrents but could catch only brief glimpses of the mayhem. Melissa knelt amidst a shower of custard, shuddering with laughter while clasping the knot behind her neck in a desperate attempt to keep her streaming top in place. Kirsty squirmed in a huge puddle not far from the blob - Lisa watched her roll over, still giggling, as magenta gloop showered her back.

Before she knew it, Lisa was on her feet. Mess splattered her from all sides, but still she laughed her defiance. A tentacle twitched, spewing a pale pink crescent of gunge that managed to catch all of them in one pass. Losing her footing, Lisa slipped with a squelch into the ever expanding swamp. Suddenly a beaming Kirsty appeared through the blizzard and hugged her tightly. Slime spurted as their bodies pressed together, then Kirsty broke off and went sliding through the muck in search of Melissa, who was just barely winning the battle with her bikini.

Saturated with slime, hair plastered to her neck and shoulders, Lisa returned her gaze to the laughable monster. "Hah!" she teased, "You'll never get me. I'm invincible!"

The answering barrage was immense. It was as though every sprayer, tentacle and fountain unleashed one last salvo her way. For a moment it was like swimming through porridge. Gunge doused her utterly, saturating her hair, sliding across her skin, dripping from every curve. The slime-storm ended with a pulse of green goo from above. Lisa leaned forward, slimy rivulets dripping past her forehead while the rest flowed down her back.

"Lisa has been eliminated," declared the intercom.

The torrent began to slacken. Lisa sat up. "Too right I have."

With the slime finally easing away, Lisa wiped gelatinous strands from her face and looked to her companions. Panting, Melissa propped herself on one elbow, gunge drooling down her in slick rivers. Kirsty lifted her head nearby; sprawled on her front, she was practically invisible against the bespattered backdrop.

"Just so you know," said Lisa, watching with satisfaction as Kirsty tried unsuccessfully to get up, "you deserved everything you got for tricking us like that."

Blinking, Kirsty looked Lisa up and down. She smirked. "Totally worth it."

They peered at each other a few moments, and then the laughter began anew. Before long the trio were embracing. As they finally tottered away in search of a shower, a thought struck Lisa; this was only the prelude, and had taken place in only a small fraction of the arena. The main event was still to come. Hah, I hope those girls know what they've let themselves in for.

And so the stage was set. In one week's time twelve young women, an assortment of celebrities and intrepid volunteers, would brave the Splatter Dome. Lisa couldn't wait to see the looks on their faces.

To Be Continued....