Note: If you prefer to read these chapters in stages, the 'decision time' moment comes at around the halfway point. Back when I first tried to post this series online, this was as far as I got before the site went down (RIP ecgunge). Next week will be the finale.

Part 17: Monster Mash

The noise drew closer. Sarah flinched, but her gaze stayed fixed on the pit that yawned before her, dark and forbidding. Though she couldn't yet see it, she knew what was coming. The blob ascended, it's coming heralded by a noise like balloons being forced through a too-narrow gap. Only just now it had burst through the floor, giving Liz her insanely messy but richly deserved comeuppance, before sinking back into the station's substructure. Now it wanted seconds.

To her left Jen bobbed up and down, eyes shining with excitement. Even at a time like this, Sarah couldn't help but glance admiringly. Her companion was a sight to behold. Jen's chestnut brown hair, the same shade as her eyes, fell level with a bubblegum pink bikini top which showed off a figure by turns slender and voluptuous at precisely the right moments. As Sarah watched, a coy smile brought faint dimples to Jen's cheeks, and then out of nowhere she took Sarah's hand and skipped closer to the precipice. For reasons she couldn't comprehend, Sarah let herself be swept along.

Why am I doing this? The floor here was streaked with flotsam from Liz's elimination. Lambent green splodges decorated seeping puddles of pink ooze, some of which were draining into the cone-shaped crater. That preposterous puppet had swallowed Liz whole, sending her sliding into the gunk-filled pool meant to represent its mouth. The thought of that happening to her...

She tried backing away. "Jen, are you crazy? We can't stay here."

Again that whimsical smile turned on her. "Sarah, we're gonna get it whatever happens, let's do this properly."

The blob was almost level with the floor now. Fighting panic, Sarah looked to the chamber's array of exits. Six of them studded the domed living quarters, but the one to the west was all she cared about. Through that hatch lay the escape pod, and victory. So near yet so out of reach.

I should be running. I should be taking charge. I should be doing something, anything...

Jen gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. The act evoked a memory of the previous summer: of standing in knee-deep surf on a tropical beach, Jen at her side, watching with blissful anticipation as a shimmering blue wave rolled in to soak her. She felt her shoulders start to relax, and consciously tensed them again. Have to stay serious....

Still the sound rose. The floor juddered, and then with a low rumble the vine-like pipes infesting the ceiling shifted, obscuring the skylight. Before the sky vanished, Sarah caught sight of something at once humdrum and surreal. High above, beyond the outpost, beyond even the Splatter Dome's crystal canopy, a jetliner traversed the cerulean sky. Out there, beyond all this madness, the real world continued exactly as normal. One way or another, Sarah would soon be rejoining it. She no longer knew how she felt about that.

At last it came. A spotlight flared above the crater, a ghostly silver spear into which rose a hulking mass. Sarah stared in horrified wonderment. The thing moved jerkily, squat tentacles blooming above what was essentially one vast, vaguely amphibian face whose mottled surface exuded slime by the bucketful. Greenish gobbets drooled into a gaping, toad-like mouth that spanned its entire lower half.

Sarah didn't know whether to recoil or snort in derision. The thing's design was truly pathetic. Each tentacle was clearly just a length of hosepipe bulked out with foam padding, and whatever motion the thing mustered came in fits and starts, like a claymation monster from some fifties creature-feature. An amateur theatre group could've come up with better. But then, Sarah thought ruefully, authenticity was never its intent. Every last pore on that blubbery hide held a nozzle, and Sarah was in range of each and every one of them.

The whole thing rested on some kind of hydraulic platform, and now rubber tubes twitched beneath its surface, no doubt being connected to myriad hidden hydrants. Still holding hands, Jen and Sarah simply watched, spellbound, as the blob began rotating, its farcical visage swivelling to leer at them.

Trepidation tugged at Sarah's stomach. Her mouth felt dry, her breathing grew shallow. This was it. This was elimination.

Acutely aware of how little she was wearing, she found herself hunching a little, golden locks slipping over her shoulders as her free arm slanted protectively across her front. Jen, by contrast, simply grinned and flicked back her hair. "Something tells me this is gonna get gooey," she teased.

Sarah shot her companion a look. "You're loving this, aren't you?"

"Yep."

The monstrosity shuddered, tentacles flopping lifelessly. The two contestants emitted a quavering squeak and clung tight to one another, each expecting the sliming to begin, but all that emerged was the sound of a zip unfastening.

Huddling against Jen, Sarah only dared look from the corner of her eye. What she saw, however, made her turn and stare. The membrane between the blob's paper-plate eyes was peeling apart, and from the resulting void a sleek female silhouette shrugged itself free. An unfurling banner of red hair caught the light as the woman straightened, arms curling to her hips.

"G'day, girls."

The lights stabilised, illuminating the newcomer. Jen chuckled. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Kind of a showy entrance, don't you think?"

"First impressions count," the woman replied. A click of her fingers set the blob's tentacles curling outward like sunflower petals - save for one, which jerked feebly and fell off. The redhead watched with a pained expression as it rolled across the floor, leaking lurid pink slime. "Okay, pretend that didn't happen."

And here I thought things couldn't get any dumber. It was Lisa, the last of the Australian scientists they'd been sent to rescue, and she was kneeling in a cockpit-style slot set into the blob's forehead, for want of a better term. Visible from the hips up, ensconced like the queen of a grotesque carnival float, she wore a pristine white bikini similar to the one she'd worn in the prologue. Slim and petite, though not without curves, Lisa's doll-like features gave her an innocent look, an impression broken only by the quiet intensity burning in her dark, almond-shaped eyes.

Swaying a little to find her balance, Lisa set her chin at an aloof angle, folded her arms beneath her breasts, and after nervously clearing her throat launched into what was obviously a well-rehearsed tirade.

"So now you know the secret - the whole rescue mission was a ruse. This place belongs to us now! And I think it's time that you-"

Lisa's words tailed off. The blob hadn't quite stopped revolving, and was now drifting off to the right. Lisa turned her head as she spoke, doing her utmost to pretend it wasn't happening, but then bounced against the side of her cockpit when the monstrosity finally lurched to a stop.

Recovering like a true professional, Lisa launched right back into the speech - only to be jolted the other way when the blob suddenly righted itself. Now with her prey openly sniggering, she shot an exasperated look at the hidden cameras, corrected her dishevelled hair, and tried again.

"Ahem. And I think it's time that you-"

"Hang on, hang on," Sarah interjected. "This makes no narrative sense! You can't be the blob, you were eliminated by it. How's that work?"

"We, er... I think the idea is that it, like, absorbed me, and that's how I ended up switching sides."

"Huh? What about your friends, they get 'absorbed' too?"

"I don't-"

"They're just making it up as they go."

Lisa grimaced. "Pretty much, yeah. Now where was I? Oh, right. And I think it's-"

Again Sarah interrupted. "Okay, I'm done with this. Jen, follow my lead. I have a plan."

Lisa's scripted rant dissolved into curious silence, and then she gasped, hands rising beside her face in mock horror. "Oh no! They're coming to get me! And me with only a huge unstoppable gunge machine for protection! Whatever shall I do?"

Unfazed by the sarcasm, Sarah lifted an eyebrow. "Yeah-yeah, we'll see how much you're laughing once I'm done with you."

"Come on, then. Let's see what you've got."

"Alright."

Still icy calm, Sarah tensed, ready to pounce... then turned and scurried away. Jen was beginning to follow when the blob opened fire. Pink slime blasted from each tentacle, the mess licking at her heels, but Sarah was just about quick enough. A few nimble bounds took her through the nearest doorway.

*****

That wasn't meant to happen.

Now alone in the living quarters, Lisa fussed with her hair and self-consciously rubbed the top of one arm, somehow hoping to disguise how little she wore.

Nobody had prepared her for this. She'd spent ages getting psyched up for a final frenetic showdown, now what was she meant to do? Chasing them wasn't an option - this thing had all the mobility of a beached jellyfish. Tentacles twitched impotently, devoid of a target. It was like riding some slack-jawed Medusa.

This was all Kirsty's fault. It was she who'd talked her and Melissa into signing up for this, knowing full well what awaited them, and who'd then tricked them into donning swimwear. Lisa still cringed at having fallen for that one. Come to think of it, it was probably the briefing video that had made the contestants think bikinis were normal attire for this place. Kirsty really had a lot to answer for.

By rights she shouldn't even be up here. She and Liz had had it all worked out. If they'd had their way, the blob would've erupted beneath Jen and Sarah, leaving no need for this little cameo of hers. She'd almost gotten away with it, too.... Damn, I'm starting to sound like a cartoon villain. She'd been stood at the controls when Kirsty appeared in front of her. And I just started jabbering like an idiot. Ugh, I may as well have scribbled 'Guilty' on my forehead.

What was most maddening was that Kirsty hadn't even said anything. She'd just looked at her with that roguish smile and those big, dark eyes of hers, absorbing every excuse flung at her until Lisa had been left defeated, head bowed, knowing full well what she had to do.

And now here she was. The more she dawdled the stupider she felt, and the stupider she felt the more her courage evaporated. Fidgeting, she glanced skittishly about, trying to spot the cameras.

This is ridiculous. I'll just tell them I can't do it. I could just...

But again she thought of her friends. Right now they'd be gathered by a screen in the control room, already chuckling at what was about to befall her. Mel had even talked about making popcorn.

Lisa felt her nerves steady. She'd watched gleefully when they were slimed. Now was her turn. Flickers of courage returned.

Nobody twisted my arm. I could've said no if I wanted. I'm here because I choose to be.

Nodding to herself, Lisa set her shoulders back and knelt a little straighter. Her breathing steadied. Her hands stopped shaking. Somewhere her friends were watching. She would give them a show to remember.

*****

Hurling herself through the opening, Sarah darted left and pressed hard against the wall. Now out of the firing line, she sighed with relief and slumped down, knees bending in front of her chest. One look at the room's expanse of flickering LEDs and cardboard terminals told her she'd reached the comms room.

Jen sauntered in behind her, hips swaying with each carefree step, and took position to the door's right. "So Sarah," she said, "out of interest, did the masterplan go any further than hiding in the corner?"

"It's a work in progress."

Jen stretched languidly and shook out her hair. "Doesn't matter how long we put this off, you know, we're still getting slimed."

Grimacing, Sarah ran her hands compulsively through her hair, pulling it back as though to make a ponytail. "What did I do?"

"Hmm, what?"

"Why are you doing this to me? Bringing me here... Did I ruin your favourite top or something?"

At first Jen looked baffled, but it wasn't long before that bubbly smile returned. "Ha-ha, relax, it's nothing like that. It's just, well, don't take this the wrong way, but you've been wound a little tight lately. I, uh, I thought this'd be good for you."

Jen shifted uneasily in the ensuing silence, fearing fireworks, but when at last Sarah spoke her words were quiet, controlled, yet tipped with steel. "Let's make sure I have this right. You figure I should loosen up, yes? And your first thought is to drag me halfway round the world and pour slime on me? That was plan A?"

Blushing, Jen glanced at her feet. "Well, not exactly. I heard about this place and thought, y'know, two birds, one stone." Seeing Sarah's glare, her head tilted. "And don't pretend you haven't had fun today. I know you better than you think."

Now it was Sarah's turn to blush. Suppressing the tiniest of giggles, she forced herself to concentrate. Revenge could wait. Victory was what mattered. They were here to play a game, and that game had rules. Farcical rules, true, but rules nonetheless. From what she could make out, it had been the blob's contaminating presence that prevented the escape pod from opening.

So we have to get rid of it, but how?

Edging sideways, she peeked back towards the living quarters. On seeing her, Lisa knelt higher, the white of her bikini bottoms flashing stark against the blob's gaudy backdrop, and made a 'come hither' gesture.

Sarah ducked away. "It's not fair. How the hell are we meant to beat that thing?"

A little flow of pink slime was trickling through the doorway now, leaving the contestants on opposite sides of a miniature stream.

Jen leaned closer, eyes twinkling. "How about we just charge? It worked for Butch and Sundance."

As Sarah paused, contemplating how best to address everything wrong with that last statement, she realised her chest was heaving, whether from panic or exhilaration she wasn't sure or wouldn't admit. Seconds stretched. When it came, her voice was barely a whisper.

"Okay."

Jen did a double-take. "What? Really?"

Feeling suddenly lightheaded, Sarah nodded. "I... I want to."

"You... you mean it? Hah! I knew you'd come around in the end!" Clearly overjoyed, Jen shifted to face her, silky brown hair spilling across one shoulder, and gestured to her barely-clad form. "Any time you get nervous, just picture that thing sliming me."

Sarah mustered a smile. "Oh I intend to. You ready?"

"I've always been ready."

"On three?" Seeing her companion nod, Sarah took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes. Three, two, one... Charge!"

With a cheer they leapt to their feet and bounded down the passageway. Or at least one of them did. Sarah made as if to run, but then simply watched, smirking, as her teammate hared away.

Idiot.

*****

Laughing a battle-cry, Jen ran at the blob. In her mind's eye it was all wonderfully dramatic; a glorious slo-mo charge, possibly with things exploding behind her for no particular reason. The reality, she knew, was far more Baywatch than Braveheart. She was well aware that she ran like a girl, and her outfit, cute though it was, wasn't exactly designed for sprinting.

Though the blob loomed close, Lisa still hadn't reacted. Hah, this might actually work! Then she noticed something. Far from being shocked, the redhead's expression was one of wry amusement.

Three things occurred to Jen at that moment. First, even if she reached Lisa she had no idea what she actually intended to do; second, an arsenal of sprayers and tentacles were all curling to point at her; and third... hers was the only set of footfalls.

Chestnut hair bounced against her back as she skidded to a halt. She peered first at Lisa, who nodded knowingly, then slowly looked back.

"Oh you're kidding me!"

Sarah was still in the comms room. She hadn't moved an inch. Green eyes glimmering, the blonde flashed a devilish grin. "New plan, Jenny: you keep it busy while I think of something."

The comms room door hissed into place. A second later and the keypad flashed red. It was sealed.

While Jen gaped, a slurping noise behind her sent tingles running down her back. An expectant hush fell, making her breathing seem unnaturally loud. Clenching and unclenching her hands, she shot Sarah a friendly glare, then with a giggled groan turned to meet her fate.

I really do walk into these things.

*****

Lucy had been busy. Since sending Kelly rolling to a stupendously messy fate, she'd visited the wardrobe department, listened politely to the silver-haired matron's various grumbles, struggled her way into a ghoul costume, and tottered off down the service tunnels beneath the arena.

Walking in this get-up took some getting used to. The costume resembled a wetsuit, black with figure-accentuating panels that matched the shade of gunk it carried - in her case green. Sprayers jutted beneath her wrists, the triggers nestled in her palms, and were linked to chambers of pressurised gunge secreted throughout the suit. They were spaced out to spread the weight, but Lucy could see why the real ghouls were all so athletic. Even more gunge suffused spongy panels set over her front and back; it was these that allowed ghouls to give such fabulously messy hugs. Having been on the receiving end of a few of these, Lucy couldn't wait to dispense some of her own.

Reaching the no-longer-secret door to the pumping room, she bounded through. "Sorry I'm late."

A curious sight greeted her. The remaining contestants-turned-ghouls were all gathered here, but three had peeled off their costumes. Clad now in only black bikinis, they stood in the slimy pool in front of the pump. What was going on? Curious, Lucy stepped closer. She saw Tasha wallowing over to one side, already soaked. The other two were comparatively clean - or at least as clean as anyone could be in a thigh-deep pool of sludge - and were stood as though about to duel. One was Nikki, the tanned, dark-haired American who'd turned out to be one of the game's traitors. The other, much to Lucy's surprise, was Louise. Sweet, mild-mannered Louise - the quietest of the group. From her blushes, it was clear that it had taken a lot of encouragement to get her in there.

Things looked about to kick off. While the others cheered, Nikki stalked forward, her smile one of playful reassurance. What happened next left everyone in fits of laughter. Louise shuffled on the spot, practically quivering with nerves... then proceeded to utterly demolish her opponent. Lucy didn't doubt that Nikki would've let her win anyway, but her expression when Louise went into overdrive was absolutely priceless.

Glowing with newfound confidence, Louise tucked back her honey-blonde hair and turned to the spectators. "Come on, who's next?"

Still stunned by what they'd just seen, the others looked at each other, then back to Louise. Grinning, Ellie reached for the zip on her costume, but then froze. Holly had taken hold of her costume's ripcord.

"Now now," said Holly, her tone a jokey reprimand, "we've got a job to do, remember?"

Lucy winced on Ellie's behalf. Each ghoul suit had a ripcord behind the neck which, if pulled, would send gunk spewing inward onto the wearer. Trying to defuse the situation, she took hold of Holly's cord. "Come on, Holly, how'd you feel if someone did that to you?"

Holly's eyes flicked over Lucy's shoulder. "I could ask you the same."

Lucy felt a slight tug at the back of her neck. Oh, you're kidding. Ellie, it seemed, was in a mischievous mood. The three now stood in a triangle. One false move and they'd all be gunged. With no-one about to back down, Lucy shook her head.

"Ladies, we have a predicament."

*****

There was an awkward silence. Jen shifted from foot to foot, nervously fingering the ties of her swimwear, while Lisa preened and smoothed her hair, savouring the moment. She had already won, and she knew it.

"End of the line, Jen."

Collecting herself, Jen cast a stealthy glance around the room. Good, the hatches are still open. Each opening contained an arsenal of cream pies. She might be doomed, but that didn't mean she had to go quietly.

Jen flicked back her hair and placed one hand on her hip. "Okay, Lisa," she said, pointing with her free hand, "Seeing as I'm so nice, I'm going to give you one last chance to surrender. What's it gonna be?"

Lisa lifted an eyebrow. Secure in her monstrous automaton, she knelt up straight and lifted her arms. The tentacles mimicked the motion, forming a waving, semicircular crest that tensed in readiness, gallons of muck sloshing towards countless nozzles.

"I'll take that as a 'No' then."

With a hiss of releasing pressure the tentacles disgorged. Jen sprang back, slimy blasts detonating right where she'd stood, but barely had time to breathe before having to twist sideways to avoid a spurt aimed at her stomach.

Adrenaline was taking hold now, and what began as a startled yelp melted into a giggle. "Hehe, you'll have to do better than that!"

Acting every inch the villain, Lisa tossed her hair as dramatically as she could. Tentacles roiled like an angry octopus, a couple moving vaguely in time with Lisa's own arms. These, it seemed, were under her direct control. "Better? Pah, I'm still warming up."

One look at Lisa, so pristine and elegant, and Jen knew what had to be done. Skipping to one of the hatches, she grabbed hold of a pie. Lisa's eyes widened, but she turned out to have little to worry about. Jen's throw fell woefully short, landing with a splat a full yard from the blob.

"Oops."

A teasing game developed. Hanging back near the chamber's edge, where only the tentacles could reach her, Jen dodged and frolicked, jets of goo crashing all around. Unaccountably, whether by luck or skill, she was avoiding all of it. This could end only one way, she knew, but she intended to make Lisa work for it.

"What's the matter, Lisa? Can't hit me?"

Brow knitting with concentration, Lisa redoubled her efforts. Another salvo shot forth, but again Jen skipped out of its path. This was rather fun.

For all Lisa's gesticulating, the blob appeared barely under control, its clunky controls discharging each squirt a fraction too late. In turn though, Jen's scattered counterattacks all went wildly off target. Damn, I need to get closer.

This, it turned out, was easier said than done. Growing visibly flustered, Lisa made a series of slashing motions, sending whirling wet pennants sweeping across the room. With a mirthful yelp Jen leapt away, pressing against the wall. Gunk splashed mere inches from her toes.

All this bouncing about made her wish she'd picked a bikini that offered a little more, ahem, containment. She dreaded to think what the video of this would look like. Part of her wanted to cringe in embarrassment, but the rest was having too much fun to care.

The sheer volume of slime being shot her way was staggering to behold. This luck couldn't last. More mess shot out, almost catching her this time, but again Jen twisted sideways, letting beams of goo sweep parallel to her front and back. How am I still clean? The salvos were growing more accurate, and swaths of the floor now glistened pink. One slip was all it would take.

The anticipation was becoming maddening. She was doomed to a sliming, that much was obvious, but time and again escaped with millimetres to spare. Her skin tingled. Goosebumps rose on her arms. She knew it was coming.

Gunk shot faster now. Not ponderous waves like before, but pressurised, laser-like squirts. Not so messy, but much harder to dodge. This is it. It's gonna hit me. Any second...

It was almost a relief when the first spots skimmed her thigh. Feeling syrupy trickles creep down her leg, Jen beamed like an idiot. The release of tension was intoxicating.

Slowly the floodgates opened. Reaching sideways into another hatch, she sputtered in shock as slippery pink bracelets sloshed across her wrists. Dazed, she twirled toward Lisa - and gasped as the tail-end of another squirt flicked beneath her navel. The feel of slime dribbling onto her bikini bottoms left her toes squirming, yet she just about managed to sidestep before more mess arrived.

Relieved to have finally hit something, Lisa punched the air. "Yes!"

Jen wasn't about to let that slide. Now facing another hatch, she peeked over her shoulder and playfully stuck out her tongue. Almost instantly she groaned, nose crinkling, as grape-sized splodges burst over her back.

As gunge crept cool and creamy over her skin, Jen exhaled slowly and rolled her shoulders. This was her favourite bit, the in-between phase - no longer clean, but not yet totally splattered. No more pre-mess jitters, but still something to play for.

Feeling energised, she began taking more risks. Lips pursed and eyes gleaming, she shimmied from side to side, trying to keep Lisa guessing. A sudden advance took the redhead off guard, leaving Jen able to hurl a pie and skip away before pink gunge exploded on the ground in front of her. She looked back at Lisa, hoping to see her spattered with cream, but the pie had flown wide. Damn. Still, it was far closer than her previous efforts, and the change in Lisa's posture suggested she knew it, too.

Jen tensed as another spout clipped her left shoulder. Stopping to look had been a bad idea. Most of the mess sprayed out behind her, but some slipped down her arm or spattered sideways, casting glistening pink beads in the hair hanging beside her face. A few little splashes slipped down the edge of her bikini top, its touch like milkshake on her skin. Feeling slightly giddy, Jen scampered back to rearm, but on the way felt creamy wetness splash across the backs of her calves. Lisa was really zeroing in on her now.

Okay, time for a little payback.

Reaching into the nearest hatch, she drew out two huge pies drizzled with raspberry sauce. "See these?" she called. "These are for you!"

Now bubbling with nervous excitement, Jen made her move. A deft feint, a rapid shift of balance, and she was darting diagonally forward. The ruse worked, half the tentacles fired in the wrong direction, but there was no time for congratulating herself. Ducking sideways took her past another cavalcade of ooze, to a spot directly opposite Lisa. This is it. This is my chance. With the ties of her bikini still fluttering, Jen straightened, span effortlessly between a pair of slithering jets, and threw.

"Take that!"

"No, no wait," squealed Lisa.

The redhead hunched, arms crossing protectively, but it was too late. Custard splurged against her right temple, blobs blasting a lurid constellation across her face. Now with half her hair alive with vivid yellow specks, Lisa swayed, eyes squeezing shut, as a tide of ooze slid down the side of her neck.

"Haha, didn't I tell you!" Jen sang.

Waving her free arm, she wiggled a little victory dance, but her joyful whoop sputtered to nothing as a pink beam tore through the second pie. The thing practically detonated in her hand. Yellowy-pink flares shot up her stomach, lapping against the underside of her bosom, while the rest burst across her bikini bottoms.

Despite the shock, the sight of Lisa cracking up soon made her see the funny side. For an instant they shared a 'what are we doing?' smile, and then Jen was dancing away again, slimy jets in hot pursuit.

Game on.

*****

Sarah watched gleefully. Duping Jen into that maelstrom had bought her valuable thinking time, not to mention the chance to revel in her friend's elimination. Two birds, one stone.

It was an effort to look away, but Sarah knew she had to put this time to good use. She needed to be rational. An idea came to her; in the briefing video a defence mechanism of some kind had dropped gallons of green slime into the living quarters, driving back the invading ghouls. Might that work with the blob? It had happened automatically before, but there was a chance one of these controls would activate it.

It wasn't much, but right now it was all she had. Flitting from one panel to another, Sarah began pressing any button that wasn't just a coloured bottle top or bit of shiny plastic. One of these has to do it. Jen's laughter played like a siren's call, making her peek back every few seconds to chuckle at her. Nothing cheered her up like the sight of Jen getting messy, particularly when she was the cause of it. The only thing better would be to pour the slime herself. Even the thought made her smirk.

Stop it, Sarah. This is beneath you. You're smarter than this.

Her resolve hardened. She had to focus. For all its apparent randomness, there was a certain twisted logic to the Splatter Dome. She just needed to put herself in the mindset of the freaks who'd designed it.

Okay, so what's the blob meant to be? How does it fit? Think, Sarah.

Fragments of past conversations drifted back, titbits of information to be weighed, evaluated and discarded by her probing mind. The answer was there somewhere, but where?

In a flash it hit her. Oh no, please not that.

A grating noise emerged from her left. Suddenly wary, she glanced across... and tensed, unsure what to do. A round section of floor had sunk out of sight. Memories of what had befallen Liz gripped her, but thankfully the hole grew little wider than a manhole. Had she triggered it, or had the organisers set this in motion themselves? She edged closer to investigate, and was surprised see wedge-shaped sections of floor sliding away, one after another, to create a spiral staircase descending into darkness.

I don't like the look of this. Eyes narrowing, Sarah looked between the hole and the slime-streaked doorway. There were no good options here. Pouting in frustration, she chose the lesser evil.

She descended daintily, testing each step as she went, and arrived at what might've been a passage. At first the gloom was impenetrable, but then a scatter of ultraviolet lamps granted it a neon tint. A bare corridor materialised ahead.

Intrigued, Sarah padded silently forward. A downward glance revealed the white of her bikini glowing electric blue. She'd seen similar effects in nightclubs, and didn't doubt that her teeth and eyes held a similar glow.

After a few yards the passage twisted. At first Sarah thought she'd reached a dead end, but then ahead she saw a small, rectangular sign bearing two shining words. Could it be? She advanced, peering intently, and then almost leapt for joy. Fire Exit. This must be the dome's edge. She could escape. No more slime and silliness, through that door lay the real world.

One more step and she noticed it. A round portal breached the wall to her left. Whatever it held remained lost in darkness, but the flow of air against her side suggested there was a large chamber through there. She hesitated, looking first to the fire door, then to the blackness. Curiosity got the better of her.

A quick look can't hurt.

Slowly, warily, Sarah moved through the portal. A smaller opening appeared to her right, but she ignored it. There was something ahead. The walls widened into a chamber, deathly still and wrapped in blackness. By now seriously spooked, Sarah halted, one hand hovering over her mouth. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, so shapes came slowly into focus. What she saw turned her blood to ice.

Mind reeling, Sarah stumbled back the way she'd come. Soon she was slumped again beside the comms room door, staring wide-eyed at the waiting staircase. She wanted to howl at the unfairness of it all. This was the dilemma she'd dreaded. She wanted to win, she wanted to stay clean, but what if achieving one meant foregoing the other? When it came down to it, which did she want more?

Whichever she picked, there would be no going back. A peek into the living quarters revealed Jen flailing about. Elimination was surely only moments away, and that would be the end of the diversion.

Fretting, Sarah realised she was smoothing her hair and checking the knots of her bathing suit over and over. It was decision time.

*****

Things were getting seriously messy. Wet streaks marred Jen's hair, and all over her body splats and splatters slowly accumulated, clinging to her curves and drooling in slow trickles down her legs. She no longer cared. Laughing and frolicking, hurling pies as fast as she could, she surrendered to the mayhem.

Across the chamber, Lisa squirmed atop the blob. Custard and whipped cream speckled her front, and vain attempts at wiping at herself had left gaudy yellow smears through her hair, but compared to Jen she was spotless.

Things were assuming a dreamlike quality. Lilting laughter carried over the intercom, and everywhere shards of light sparkled and skittered, the hissing jets and thrashing tentacles creating strange, ever-changing shadows across the walls. Constantly in motion, Jen saw everything in twirling panorama. Gales of liquid pink ribbons followed her every step, as though yearning to draw her into their slithering embrace. It was all a dance.

More and more of it was catching her. Syrupy splashes shattered against her, radiating flurries of translucent goo against the side of her arm, then the small of her back, then swishing in a ragged crescent from the knot at her hip to the one between her shoulder blades. Shuddering with ticklish laughter, Jen collected another pie, only to yelp with surprise as another pink spout shot past her side and into the hatch, tearing through the stacked pies in an explosion of pudding - much of which ended up on her.

"Feeling gunged yet, Jen?"

Jen's giggles sent little threads of slime dripping from the front of her bikini top. "Maybe a little. Wanna know how it feels?"

Throwing caution to the wind, Jen bounded to her feet - and suddenly leaned back like a limbo dancer, gunk shooting mere inches overhead. Stray blobs sprinkled soft as kisses upon her torso, leaving her grinning dreamily as she straightened, skipped forward, and catapulted a pie into Lisa's face.

The bespattered Aussie reeled back as pink dollops rained into her hair. She'd forgotten that the tentacles shadowed each movement of her arms. Trying to shield her face had sent gunge shooting skyward, forming glistening pink blobs that had tumbled back down.

"Haha, looking good, Lisa!"

The way Lisa's pout morphed into a look of devilish mischief gave Jen pause. Suddenly she realised the danger. She'd moved in a lot closer this time. So close, in fact, that....

Oh no!

In panic she turned to flee, but slipped on one of the overlapping puddles that now spanned most of the floor. Behind her a chorus of hydraulic whines heralded the blob about to release its full fury. Unsure whether to laugh or scream, Jen scrabbled through the ooze, trying desperately to crawl away. It was far too late.

With a thunderous slurp the slime shot out. Bands of colour cast liquid webs over Jen's back, leaving her slumped forward as though offering obeisance. Eyes wide, skin tingling, she watched a tapestry of colour spread across the floor beneath her. Surging gunge engulfed her bikini bottoms, while more slid sideways off her back, snaking down her arms and dripping blue and green tapestries from her flanks.

Stunned by the surreal sensations, Jen noticed she was directly opposite the passage to the comms lab. There at the far end stood Sarah, safe and spotless behind the transparent door. Seeing the glee in her friend's eyes, Jen knelt up straight, squirmed a little at the feel of gunge sloshing down her back, and smiled warmly. It felt right that Sarah witness this.

Slurps sounded, louder even than before. Jen flinched but didn't falter. "See this, Sarah?" she called, arms lifting in a victory pose. "This is how it's done."

Now back in villain mode, Lisa imbued her words with a sneering flourish. "Finish her!"

A sudden silence, an instant's delicious anticipation, and then a roar of releasing pressure rent the air. It was as though a waterfall struck Jen's back. Slime splashed everywhere, gallon upon gallon, of every colour and consistency. Jen could barely believe what was happening. Tipping back her head, she screamed in wonderment. A riotous deluge soaked the entire rear half of her body. Hair lay plastered to her back, which itself resembled one great, gushing torrent, its flows lashed by the arrival of ever more gunge. Deflections sent countless globs spinning out in front of her, creating great dotted arcs on the floor, while ticklish splats upon her upturned feet provoked helpless titters. Slime claimed her flanks like a rising tide, advancing in a series of overlapping pulses, while green and orange gunk wrapped about her outstretched arms, birthing translucent threads that drooled down like tassels.

Okay, now I'm messy.

Taking in great gulps of air, Jen peered down at herself. Slime-slick tresses hung beside her face, bracketing her vision, or else were whipped forward by the ceaseless sprays. Dark blue gunk began dribbling down her forehead, but Jen simply blinked it away, entranced by the storm of colour raging around her. Facing away from the blob had spared her front, but flame-shaped splashes still shot along her thighs, and a few welters of custard came at just the right angle to glance against the sides of her breasts before splashing brilliant sunbursts across her knees. Worse still, multicoloured gunk was already collecting atop her shoulders. Any second now and gravity would send it on its way. Her front wouldn't be spared for long.

A loud qua-thunk brought Jen to her senses. The hell was that? Hearing something hurtling high through the air, she remembered the arcing, howitzer-like shots the blob was capable of unleashing. Wait, that means-

There was just time to close her eyes before the airburst arrived, vanilla pudding splattering on and around her in a hail of apricot-sized blobs. The sight sent Sarah - who to that point had been trying to look reasonably sympathetic - into fits of giggles.

Trying to contain herself, Jen nibbled her lip while attempting to glare at her teammate. Her lips moved wordlessly, talking while being hosed with goo proving something of a challenge.

"Yeah, laugh it up," she managed. "You won't get away with this."

Green eyes glimmering, Sarah just smirked and blew a kiss.

Still the slime came. Jen cringed as slippery streams began spilling past her collarbones. More poured down her face, but angling her head left her able to watch coloured deltas spread across her chest, the streams growing first to rivers, then sloshing cascades that dripped from her top or channelled through her cleavage, forming a slick torrent that pooled in her lap before spilling across her thighs. Instinct kept making her want to lean forward, but she made herself kneel straight. Sarah was watching, after all.

Shaking with silent laughter, she closed her eyes and looked up. This is insane. At last she felt the bombardment slacken. There was no way the blob had run out of slime so soon, but perhaps the pressure needed to build again.

Lisa had noticed it, too. "What're you doing?" she said to the ceiling. "Don't stop, keep gunging her!"

Seizing her chance, Jen climbed unsteadily to her feet and, ignoring the hatches, made straight for Lisa. After all, who needed pies now that there was so much ammo strewn about?

Every tentacle fired at once, and for an instant it seemed to Jen that a net of thick pink ropes flew directly at her. Trying to avoid it seemed more than a little pointless given the state she was in, so she simply closed her eyes and kept going, letting it splatter her.

By the time Jen arrived in front of her, Lisa was looking rather less sure of herself. In vain she tried swatting Jen's arms away, but then shuddered as heaped handfuls of yellowy-pink goo blossomed on her midriff. The resulting yelp became a purring chuckle once Kirsty and Melissa's cheers carried over the intercom.

A glistening pink hail descended. With their target so close, the tentacles were forced to aim upwards and hope for the best. Plenty slathered Jen's hair or spattered off her shoulders, but one look at her opponent made it all worthwhile.

Lisa waved frantically for them to stop. "Wait, you're too close, you're getting me as well!"

Jen sucked her teeth. "You know what? Somehow I don't see that stopping them."

Her movements betraying a hint of desperation, Lisa reached to the back of the cockpit - and to Jen's surprise drew out a pair of cream pies. Wielding them like cymbals, Lisa leaned forward, arms swinging in semicircles, and clapped them against Jen's head. Panting with shock, white puffs dripping down into her cleavage, Jen staggered back, and no sooner had she wiped her eyes than a balloon burst against her forehead, spilling oily orange gloop down her face. Lisa's alcove, it seemed, had a gunge supply of its own.

Revelling in the sheer ridiculousness of it all, Jen leapt back into the attack. A farcical tussle ensued. Standing level with Lisa's midriff, Jen lifted onto tiptoe, trying to sully as much of her opponent as possible, but the redhead gave as good as she got. Bursts of custard spilling over her curves sent Jen tottering drunkenly, mess pooling around her feet. Cool foam billowed from apertures beside Lisa's shoulders, bathing their struggle in a floating blizzard lit by brilliant flashes of colour.

It was an effort to remain upright now. Drenched and dripping, Jen tried jumping up to splat Lisa in the face, but this time her foe was ready. Catching her by the wrists, Lisa looked down at her, winked, and pulled. The unexpected jolt brought Jen stumbling forward, and straightaway her mouth dropped open. Gelatinous ooze slurped mid-way up her calves. Her feet were in the blob's mouth.

Mind whirling, Jen blew a wet wisp of hair from her face. She knew what was about to happen. "You wouldn't?"

Lisa's head tilted. "Ooh, I think we both know that I would."

In vain Jen tried to step back, but Lisa's hold was unshakeable. Feeling her heels sliding forward, Jen simply stared, her expression one of horrified joy. Now it was only Lisa holding her up.

"Haha, please! Wait, we can..."

Eyes twinkling, Lisa let go. Lilac gunk splurged around Jen's hips and shot up her back as she landed. She was in a sitting position, legs stretched out in front of her, but reclining so that the small of her back rested on the blob's rubbery jaw.

Now I'm in for it.

Slimy though it was, the pool wasn't all that deep. The knots of her bikini bottoms still peeked above the surface, the loose strings floating on the ooze, but she was so unspeakably messy that trying to move only sent her slithering deeper into that cavernous mouth. Even staying still meant leaning back, arms braced against the blob's rubber jaw.

She grinned meekly on seeing Lisa loom over her. The way she leaned forward, arms swept back to the cockpit's edge, reminded her of a figurehead on a galleon.

Wicked glee shone in Lisa's eyes. "So this is it," she said, sounding much calmer now, "any final requests?"

Jen wiggled her hips forward, goo squelching beneath her. Stray globules drizzled from the blob's upper lip, a lazy fusillade that spattered deliciously onto her front like showers of juicy, over-ripe fruit. Slime was a second skin to her now.

The hum of hydraulics told her the slime tanks were charging. Taking a deep breath, Jen braced for her big finish. Here it comes...

Suddenly Sarah flew past.

*****

Heart pounding, Sarah charged. It was madness, she knew it was madness, but it was the only way. Goo extended around the blob like a carpet of overlapping petals, dense at the centre and scattered at the edges. Running through it made Sarah's face contort as though she'd taken a mouthful of lemon, but on she went, faster and faster.

She was almost there. Nerves gripped claws of ice around her mind, and for an instant her courage faltered. Only an instant though.

Eyes wide with glee and fear, she leapt. It was as though time itself slowed. Tiny details came into curious focus; the strange feel of being in mid-air, the sense of her golden hair streaming out behind her, the look of surprise emerging on Lisa's cream-flecked face... but most of all she saw the slime, great shifting beds of the stuff, drooling and dribbling over every inch of the blob's surface.

Her eyes squeezed shut just before impact. She landed in a crawling pose, hoping to keep most of her body out of the slop, but the blubbery surface dipped beneath her, swamping her shins and forearms and sending great creamy blobs bursting up the inside of her thighs. Not a good start. Nose crinkling, she tried to blot out Jen's confused cheer. Every second was vital.

At least something had gone to plan. She'd landed to Lisa's right, and to her relief hadn't immediately slid off. Pressing in with knees and elbows, Sarah gritted her teeth and climbed.

This is the dumbest idea I ever had.

Creamy gunge slithered beneath her. There wasn't all that far to go, but every inch gained was a challenge. What was more, her plan relied on speed. She'd seen how the nozzles furthest from Jen had sputtered to nothing - every drop of available gunge was being poured over her teammate, meaning the sprayers lurking beneath her couldn't fire until their pressure rebuilt. This window of opportunity was the only chance she had.

Climbing this thing wasn't easy. The tighter she gripped, the more mess squirted out at her. Even worse, reaching higher brought her face and torso perilously close to the slime. Sarah murmured in distaste on feeling the front of her bikini top skim through the goo, but pressed on regardless.

Now level with Lisa, she saw the bespattered Aussie peer at her, clearly baffled, before readying a pie.

"Wait, wait!" Sarah babbled.

Lisa just grinned, watching her squirm. She knew Sarah dare not defend herself for fear of losing her grip. Custard glistened as Lisa's arm drew back, but then she recoiled, yelping. A surge of lilac blobs had spattered her stomach. A few hit the pie, which shivered, custard sloshing over its sides, before tumbling out of her hand.

That slime had come from Jen. Adjusting her grip, Sarah guffawed on seeing her teammate sat perfectly still, the remains of Lisa's pie perched atop her head like some ridiculous hat.

"Thanks," she called... with only a hint of mockery.

A flick of Jen's wrist sent the pie base fluttering away. "Don't mention it," she replied, still smiling even as custard slid down her face.

Tempting though it was to linger and enjoy the view, Sarah was on a mission. She was finding a rhythm now, gathering her knees beside her midriff before thrusting upward, always keeping her face a few inches clear of the slimy surface. A few golden locks became fouled in the morass, but there was nothing to be done about that. I can do this. One more stretch and-

Up came the slime. Sarah was posed like a frog on a lily pad when emerald geysers exploded beneath her, their staccato hiss drowning her screams. On it came, gallon after gallon, hosing her at point blank range. The shock alone almost dislodged her. Back arching, mouth agape, Sarah squirmed on the spot, fingers digging into the blob in a desperate bid to stay in place.

Through the delirium, she realised she was smiling. "Think you can beat me?" she yelled to the world in general. "I'll show you!"

Feeling her knees start to slip, Sarah shuddered - she knew what she had to do. Screwing up her nose in annoyance, she flopped onto her front. Gunge splurged everywhere, thick and gloopy against her skin, but she clung on. Horrible realisation dawned - she was going to have to drag herself the rest of the way.

Ugh, here goes.

It was like wrestling a blancmange. Gunk squirted up, smooth and ticklish. It wasn't just green anymore - the splashes spraying out from her sides blazed buttercup yellow and sapphire blue. Scrambling higher brought jets of sunset orange and thick, translucent amethyst into play. Unaccountably, Sarah found herself panting with exhilaration at each fresh onslaught.

"Quit it," she muttered to herself. "Stay focussed. Climb."

Each inch gained got her messier. Gripping with knees and fingers, she was reduced to half crawling, half swimming her way up. Around her, gunge rolled in great ponderous tides, thick as honey. Reaching up sent her chest pressing into it, and any hair that slipped over her shoulders was soon saturated, the cloying locks gathering at her neck and shoulders. Dregs from the tentacles scattered on and around her, peppering her back and adding a fresh scatter of pink dots to her bikini bottoms.

A tug on her ankle sent her slithering back, chin carving a shallow furrow in the ooze. Tepid gunk slurped up through her cleavage, prompted a shrill squeak, and no sooner had she steadied herself than melting cool-whip coated her flank from thigh to armpit. Writhing on the spot, Sarah looked sideways to see Lisa, her hands smeared white as magician's gloves, already reaching for another pie.

"And where do you think you're going?" the redhead enquired.

With her face so close to the blob, Sarah's answering sputter sent coloured motes swirling like confetti. "Ooh, you know, just seeing the sights."

As Lisa made ready to strike, the sound of dislodged goo pattering onto the floor gave Sarah an idea. Reaching above Lisa, she thumped the blob as hard as she could.

Lisa lifted an eyebrow. "Not sure what that was about, but if you think it'll save - whaaaa!"

Just as Sarah had hoped, a miniature avalanche sloshed into Lisa's hair. Hands held out as though meditating, Lisa stared blankly as a liquid shawl spilled over her shoulders, the rich blue stark against her skin.

Sarah chuckled wickedly on realising where the avalanche was heading next. Jen's cheer ended abruptly as it landed, a brief but beautifully messy thunderclap that sent strands of hair flying beyond her shoulders.

I'd say that went well.

With Lisa suitably distracted, Sarah got back to work. Hearing a dull rumble emanate from within the blob, Sarah looked beseechingly to the cameras.

"Wait, don't!"

Nozzles hissed all around her. The blob used everything it had, trying desperately to hose her loose. Slime painted her in waves - green, blue, orange - the pattern changing according to which sprayers she was crawling over. She was a mess, a total mess... and she was enjoying it. The realisation shocked her more than the slime.

Trying not to think about it, she wriggled on. Keep it together, Sarah. You can do this.

It occurred to her that if someone told her yesterday that she'd willingly strip down to a bathing suit and scramble up a huge, muck-spewing puppet, she'd have laughed in their face, yet here she was. Her world had turned upside down.

Custard splurged out in front of her, where it flowed down in a great creeping glacier. The only escape would be to let go, and that Sarah refused to do. Any moment now and it would be all over her, yet Sarah crawled towards it, a dazed grin spreading across her face.

It touched her fingers first, threading between them. It was colder than she'd expected. At the last moment Sarah lifted her chin, letting the custard sweep on down. Within seconds she was gliding on a layer of ooze. Tendrils dripped from her legs as they kicked out, seeking footholds. Scents of banana cream filled the air. The sensations made her head spin, yet still she struggled on, her sodden bikini top squelching with each ascent. Much to her embarrassment she realised she was making little purrs and murmuring sounds.

The blob began levelling out. Sarah's heart sang - she was almost there. Pausing to wipe at the gloop dripping from her brow almost sent her sliding back, but at the last moment she steadied herself. She'd come too far to fail now.

Reduced to flapping about like a seal, Sarah muttered encouragements through clenched teeth. "Ewww. Stay calm, Sarah, stay calm. Not far now. You can do this."

The summit was within sight, it's coating of cold froth tickling her neck. Palms planting downward, Sarah began hauling herself up. The next heave brought her shoulders clear, though the way her breasts nestled into the froth prompted a giggled squeak. A swish of her arm swept the foam away, and the next heave left her able to rest her knees on the blob's forehead. She'd made it.

Swinging her legs over, Sarah rolled sideways onto her back. Had she really just done that? Every inch of skin had been coated and recoated. If she hadn't known what colour her costume was, she never could've told by looking. Lifting a hand, she peered with dreamlike fascination at the vibrant rivulets snaking down her arm. Jen and Lisa's lyrical mirth drifted up like a lullaby, the pair having resumed their tit-for-tat feud.

Tentacles rose just beside her, their bases thick as birch trunks. Absently Sarah watched them dance overhead, hoses jetting pink slime. She was too close to be targeted, but after each salvo a few globs would spatter down. The way it flowed serenely over her contours felt oddly soothing. A drop at the corner of her mouth brought the taste of strawberries to her lips.

Sarah sighed. "I did it," she whispered.

A violent catapulting sound startled her. It had come from behind the tentacles. What the hell? Staring upward, she saw a projectile fly almost to the ceiling before arcing down, dividing as it went. By the time Sarah realised what it was, it was too late. Vanilla pudding hailed down, dappling her body and prompting melodious chuckles from Jen and Lisa, who must've been caught, too.

Knew it was too good to last.

Groaning wistfully, Sarah returned to business. Now was time to see if her efforts had been sheer genius or utter insanity. Lifting into a crouch, she pried apart two tentacles and squirmed between them. For a second she floundered, flushing with embarrassment at the thought of her bottom wiggling in the air, but then she was through, sliding face-first onto the reverse slope. The gradient was far gentler than at the front, but to Sarah's horror she found it coated in heaped mounds of pale pink yoghurt. With a plaintive squeak she ploughed right into it.

Sludge pressed in from all sides. Sarah's arms flailed through the mire, searching blindly. It has to be here somewhere. Feeling something coarse brush against her fingers, she clutched at it.

Her descent came to a sudden halt. Spinning in a half circle, Sarah struggled up, yoghurt sliding from her body, and peered at the thing in her hands. It was an oblong hoop, mostly obscured by pink foam, and from it a stout cord extended to the blob's nape, where it disappeared into the gelatinous surface.

"Yes. Yes! Ha-hah, I knew it!"

She froze, grinning manically amid a blast of pink gunge. The tentacles were curling backwards to target her, but she didn't care. It all made sense now - the ghouls, the blob, the hive-like corruption in the palace catacombs, that message about the egg chamber - everything. Why hadn't she seen it before? The Gunge Ghouls were meant to be miniature versions of the blob - albeit with a vastly reduced makeup budget. That would make the blob their queen, or whatever; and if ghouls were defeated by tugging their ripcord...

Damn I'm good. Twisting the cord around her hands, Sarah beamed in triumph and began to pull. The powers that be, however, weren't going to make things quite so easy. Gunge flew from everywhere at once, wobbling pink fountains springing upward even as every tentacle fired in unison. It was as though a gooey whirlwind enveloped her. Struggling heroically, Sarah braced her legs against the blob and leaned back as though playing tug-o-war.

The rope extended with torturous slowness. She could barely see past the mess streaming down her face. Everything became a delirious whirl. Writhing in the tempest, Sarah screamed her defiance - a wordless cry of rapturous abandon. With one hand she swept back her sopping hair before pointing to on high.

"You see this? Do you? I've got you!"

Shivering with mirth, she heaved with both hands. Slowly the rope grew taut, oozing pink stalactites drooling from every last inch of it. Almost. Almost...

Suddenly she was stumbling back, arms spinning like windmills. There was time for a confused sputter before she toppled backwards into a mass of collected gloop.

*****

Lisa knew something was amiss. What was Sarah up to back there? She'd expected an attempt to slide into the cockpit behind her, but it seemed Sarah had something else in mind. Whatever it was had attracted the blob's entire slime supply, leaving her to fend off Jen practically single-handed.

At least her stash of pies and slime-filled balloons showed no signs of running out. It was tough to concentrate with oily gloop dripping onto her upturned soles, so she decided to deal with one problem at a time. Finish Jen first, then worry about Sarah.

The fact that Jen could still fight back was astonishing in itself. Her cause was hopeless, any fool could see it, yet still she battled on, scooping handfuls of slime from the blob's mouth and tossing them upward. She wasn't even aiming - most of it simply tumbled back onto her - but sheer single-minded perseverance had managed to leave Lisa nicely splattered.

Wincing as blobs speckled her stomach, Lisa redoubled her efforts. She can't hold on forever.

With Jen effectively stranded, Lisa treated sliming her as an artistic exercise, planning what colour should go where like a painter choosing her brushstrokes. She watched Jen fumble with the strings of her bikini, the colour of which had been all but lost beneath overlapping layers of goo. How does she still look so good? Lisa pondered, absently dropping another pie on Jen's head as she did so. I guess with a body like that it's hard to ever look bad.

A slight tremor sent Lisa wobbling sideways. Touching the blob's surface sent orange gloop splurging over her left arm and dappling one triangle of her top. Muttering in annoyance, she wiped herself down as best she could. Wait, was it her imagination, or was the blob listing to the left? Jen looked equally perplexed, and was peering inquisitively upward when pale blue muck sprayed from the thing's mouth, engulfing her legs. Shaking with self-deprecating mirth, Jen wiggled amidst the deluge, trying desperately to cling on even as seeping tidemarks slurped up past her navel.

Hehe, that's more like it.

A second shudder rattled the blob, this time tilting it backwards. Balloons popped against Lisa's back, jade blobs spraying like fireworks from around her shoulders. What was going on? Sarah was yelling something unintelligible, and by the sounds of it was getting thoroughly doused. Hah, serves you right, whatever you're doing.

Despite being half buried in sludge, Jen was still trying to flick slime at her. Lisa just shook her head. "You really don't know when to quit, do you?"

Tucking some loose hair behind one ear, she contemplated the next addition to her masterwork. A little yellow on the left shoulder, I think.

Popping sounds startled her, followed by slippery wetness spattering against the backs of her shins. Bewildered, Lisa glanced down to see magenta gunk swirling around her knees. A look back revealed more leaking from every join and seam. The laughter over the intercom reached fever pitch.

Joyous terror swamped Lisa's mind. "What? Oh no, wait, let me-"

The blob lurched violently, rocked by juddering convulsions. Confined in her little alcove, Lisa shrieked as gallons of muck exploded behind her, filling the cockpit as though it were a chalice. There was no escape. Around her the blob deflated like a pierced soufflé. Whole sections were turning to jelly, and everywhere coloured geysers sprang forth like strobe lights, the soaring torrents colliding in glorious rainbow sprays.

Lisa was speechless. This couldn't be happening. Around her the blob was melting, its supports retracting inward until only the gooey exterior remained. The sound of Mel and Kirsty's ironic wolf whistles brought a cringing smile to her lips.

"Take a good look, you two" she called, waving both hands at the ceiling. "I hope you're hap-"

At last the membrane beneath her gave way, tipping her backwards into a churning slime bath.

*****

Baffled but happy - not to mention very, very messy, Jen watched the blob disintegrate. She soon found herself perched at the crater's edge, watching Lisa flail theatrically in a pool of slush so thick she practically floated on it. The geysers had dwindled to forlorn vents bubbling through viscous slop. This, she realised proudly, was all that remained of the Splatter Dome's most implacable guardian.

Lisa looked understandably dazed. "Nobody told me that could happen."

Jen made a deadpan 'what can you do?' gesture. "Sorry, Lisa, but this is what happens when you mess with us."

Noticing motion in her peripheral vision, Jen glanced sideways - and yelped to find a slime-coated figure lunging at her. The would-be assailant skidded to a halt the instant she was spotted, and stood awkwardly peering at her own feet.

"Sarah?"

Fidgeting, Sarah tried to pretend she'd only just noticed her. "Oh, hey Jen." Her brow furrowed. "What's so funny?"

"Sorry. You're, uh, well camouflaged there."

Plainly embarrassed, Sarah wiped at her muck-filled hair and went on the offensive. "You can talk," she said, waggling a finger, "have you seen yourself?"

"Yeah, strange thing, that. I seem to recall something about my teammate abandoning m- wait, were you about to push me in?"

Sarah's look of hurt innocence was betrayed only by her eyes' mischievous glint. "I have absolutely no idea what you mean," she purred.

An idea struck Jen. Slowly she knelt up and shuffled around, slimy icicles dripping from her curves, until she faced Sarah.

"So do it, if that's what you want."

This Sarah hadn't expected. Taking a half step back, she eyed Jen with suspicion. "You...you'd let me?"

"I'd let you try."

There was a long pause. Sarah's stance shifted, muscles tensing. She looked Jen up and down, her expression unreadable, and then scoffed. "Try? Pah, you seriously think you'd stand a chance?"

Though her heart hammered, Jen shrugged as nonchalantly as she could. The pit lay directly behind her; the tiniest of shoves was all it would take...

"Maybe, maybe not," she said, "but it'd be fun finding out. Feeling brave?"

Sarah froze, those beautiful green eyes of hers filling with a mix of worry and... something else. For one brief, glorious second she looked tempted, but then it was as though a veneer of ice frosted across her features. Arms folded sternly.

"Don't push your luck, Jen. I'm here to win. That's it."

"If you say so."

Jen made a placating gesture, but in doing so made sure to flick blobs of slime dangerously close to Sarah's feet. Skipping back in alarm, the blonde immediately cleared her throat, though Jen could've sworn the sound had started out as a giggle.

"Uh, Jen?"

"What?"

"Have we won?"

Jen peered around. "I... I guess we must have."

A tinny fanfare blared across the intercom, and then the voice of the black-clad man from the briefing emanated from on high.

"Well," he said, sounding genuinely taken aback, "I never thought I'd say this, but congratulations. It seems we're looking at our first ever winner."

Jen sniffed. Yeah, as if we're falling for that. Then a clank sounded from the western hatch. It was unlocked. Jen and Sarah gawked first at each other, then to the hatch, then back to each other. Was this really happening? Suddenly, without a word being said, they rushed to each other, dropped to their knees, and embraced. Almost instantly Sarah grimaced - she'd forgotten how messy they were.

"Well," murmured Jen, her head resting against Sarah's, "that was an experience."

"Tell me about it."

Chuckling silently, she nudged Sarah's arm. "I heard you, by the way. You were having fun up there."

Instantly Sarah drew back. "It's not like... I mean..." Her voice steadied. "You know me - I like to win. That's all it was, winning. Besides," she added, gesturing to the slimy rivers drooling down their bodies, "this is nothing compared to the times I've got you today."

Slow and delicate, Jen smoothed a lock of Sarah's hair into place. "That a challenge?"

Sarah's lips pursed. She wasn't about to fall into that trap. Without realising it, the two friends began grooming each other, stroking the other's hair and gliding hands down their partner's back. It was all rather relaxing, though Jen felt a pang of disappointment. She's come too far to throw it away now, she mused. Winning's always going to come first.

A creak of gears sent the platform, together with what remained of the blob, sinking back into the pit. Lisa, who by now was chest-deep in gunge, went with it. Eyes agleam, the Aussie lifted her arms, muck churning around her, and made sure to catch Sarah's eye.

"The things we do for our friends, right?"

Sarah made as if to speak, but hesitated. She blinked a couple of times, glanced at Jen, and answered with the tiniest of nods.

Unsure quite what that was all about, Jen stood awkwardly, shedding showers of slimy droplets. After checking the knots of her bathing suit, she smiled down at Sarah and offered her hand.

"Come on then, little miss likes-to-win, glory awaits."

At first Sarah didn't react. "Glory awaits," she repeated, seemingly to herself. At last she looked up, head tilting a fraction, and let Jen help her up.

Hand in hand, they tottered across the chamber. Victory beckoned.

To Be Continued....