Kate Connor was relaxing at her newly furnished flat when the phone buzzed. It was her producer Fiona. "Hi Kate. How are you?" Pleasantries were exchanged.

"We are making a couple of changes to our gameshow before the semi-final. Firstly this will be our last viewers' vote, we really need more time to devote to our other contestants. The other change involves our audience gungings. We are introducing a spinning wheel for random punishments. Now this will involve making a slight alteration to Kate's fates."
As her producer carried on speaking Kate's stomach knotted with excitement and nervousness. This episode could be the messiest yet.

Introduction

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Gunge Show! We have our final two teams ready and waiting to win this - our fabulous prize!"

Once again the montage of the prize was shown - highlights of a fantastic round-the-world trip taking in many of the most famous sights from around the globe. "Without further ado let's meet the teams"

Applause rang out as the tall, blonde Charlotte marched out, again in her black leather catsuit with silver high heels. Following her were three girls, each wearing the traditional Gunge Show uniform of tight blue t-shirts with the show logo written on the front, white shorts and bare feet. As the blue team entered and mounted the cold of the floor the most notable thing was the kaleidoscopic patterns on the girls' skin.

"Welcome to the Show, girls! Now, I believe you Abi are the team captain, please introduce yourself and our team."

"Hi I'm Abi. I'm the owner-operator of a tattoo studio in Brighton. Abi was a dark haired and pale skinned lady, with a soft and pleasant face. Her arms were covered in blackwork ink fine and intricate patterns ." I specialise in blackwork, geometric and modern tattooing."
"Grace here is a young up and coming artist focusing on Japanese design. Grace, was a diminuitive figure with blond hair and a wicked grin. She may be small but she's a fierce competitor who windsurfs in her spare time." Grace's tattoos included half sleeves of Japanese waves and crysanthanums with a koi carp on her right arm. She had a demon's head on her left calf.

Slightly apprehensive looking Hanna, who had the most tattoos of all was medium height and curvaceous, with a rockabilly red quiff. Her ink was nautical and piratical in nature. "Then there's our apprentice Hanna, the baby of the shop. She's just learning but she'll make an excellent tattooist some day."

"Well, a great Blue team of nurses this week folks!" said Kate. "Now please welcome Becky and the Yellow team!"

Becky, dressed like Charlotte and keeping her blonde hair out of her face with her hair band, led out the second team in their skimpy yellow outfits.

They sat across from the Blue team on matching stools.

"Welcome" smiled Kate, "Please introduce yourselves!"

"We're all from the same ladies rugby team in South London I am Niamh. The captain and fly half. We're undefeated this season and don't plan on losing today either. Over there we have our ball winning number 8 Lois, who has a high powered job for a legal firm, and our fast-as-fuck French winger Noemie. "

Niamh was a pale and flame-haired Irish girl: she looked fit, balanced and toned: with graceful long limbs and a focused glint on her pretty face. Lois, being a forward was stockier with a healthy tan, round cheeks and a rosier glow to her cheeks. Noemie was dark skinned in complexion smaller and more poised. She had a pixie-ish crop of brown hair.

Round 1 The Quiz

As ever our first round is the quiz" said Kate. Two team members will answer questions, one will sit in the gunge tank. A correct answer gunges the opposition girl, and incorrect one gunges your own, plus it results in a forfeit for yourself. First team to four points wins. Now, girls, I need you to very quickly decide which of your number will be going in the gunge tank in this round!"

With a lack of ceremony the tattooists dispatched their apprentice Hanna to the tank. The yellow team had a more lengthy discussion before Noemie was sent to the tank; the look on her face indicated it was likely a captain's decision.
Noemie and Hanna took their places in the booth.

"who directed the horror film alien?"
A race to the buzzers ensued but Niamh won it. "Ridley Scott" correct. One point to the yellows. Hannah you know what that means
Hanna was enveloped by a deluge of green gunge: squirming and screwing her face up.

Next question: "what is the capital of Canada?"
Abi buzzed in "Toronto"
Bad luck it's Ottawa.
HANNa was covered again in a deluge of purple slime. She made an exaggerated sad face and stamped her feet. The slime cascaded down on her. "Thanks Abi"
"Abi is not getting away scot-free either" From behind a bucket of custard was upended onto her scrunched up face. It formed sodden clumps in her hair.

"Next question. Merlot and cabernet sauvignon are grapes commonly associated with which French region?"
A few quizical looks followed before Abi eventually buzzed in. "Is it Bordeaux??"
"You didn't sound very confident but your answer is...correct"
Noemie was raging: she obviously knew the answer. She screamed, squirmed and squeeled as bright pink gunge cascaded down around her.

"Which King of England was on the throne at the time of the Battle of Waterloo?"
Lois buzzed in: "Oh I know it's a George. Is it George III?"
Correct " let's gunge Hanna again."
"No!!!" the gurgling and clackering of the gunge tank started again. Hanna was covered in a waterfall of thick green gunge. Hanna sarcastically raised her hands as she was coated in a green glaze. Now she looked more like an abstract expressionist painting than a painted lady.

"Which dance act, made up of classically trained musicians have had hits including, Rockab-"
Niamh was quick on the buzzer. "Clean bandit!"
"Correct. Oh Hanna" dejectedly Hanna was subjected to another deluge, red gunged poured over her. Her hair was matted flat. The gunge had pooled right up to her calves.
"And as a captain's punishment Abi open up your waistband" Abi obliged and a jug of lumpy custard was poured into the blue captain's shorts.

Viewers Vote

"Let's welcome back our hostel residents from last week's show Carys and Tammy. Will it be the young Australian or hippy Canadian who gets the gunge?"

Carys and Tammy both walked on to the stage. Both were barefoot and both looked apprehensive. Tammy was still wild haired, though she had foregone leg warmers and wore colourful board shorts perhaps she was anticipating it would be her eliminated. Brown haired Carys still had her pink t shirt and denim shorts on.

Both took their place in the gunge booths, the tanks locked securely behing them "Now we have a surprise for our losers in this game" Kate pressed a button a large pool opened in front of them. It was brown and murky. Tammy was smiling ruefully whilst Carys nervously bit her fingernails. "We thought you hippy dippy types love your porridge and cereal so here is a pool of sub-standard porridge and it's nice and cold! As well as our gunge the loser will be getting ejected into this cereal broth."

"And the loser is Tammy!" Green gunge gurgled from above her as she screamed maniacally. It was only a matter of seconds before she was flung forward horizontally. She hit the porridge with a dull slap and disappeared from view. Behind her Carys celebrated her win.
She emerged looking bedraggled. Porridge coating every part of her and clinging to her dreadlocks.

"What a dirty hippy! Carys you will have the room but it's unfair to let Tammy drag her porridge into the hostel. Please grab this hose and get the worst of it off" Carys gleefully grabbed the hose nozzle from Kate and looked forward to using it. "It's time for our round 2!"

Round 2 Oobleck Sprints

"This game is Oobleck Sprints. All you have to do is jog on the spot. But there's a catch.
"The floor is made from a non-newtonian fluid. Hit it hard it's a solid surface. But if you don't hit it with enough force it acts as a liquid and you find yourself sinking into it. All you have to do is stay afloat. But as soon as you stop sprinting it's a liquid"

"So captains please choose your team order"

Niamh of the yellow team went first. "As captain I will go first, then Lois and finally Noemie who might get to stay clean."
It was Abi's turn next "I think Grace will get us off to a good start. Then Hanna. Then myself"

THEY BEGAN. Niamh hit the oobleck hard, almost doing an Irish jig. Grace was getting more lift, focusing on jumping higher and staying airborne for longer.

Both were fit. Both were competitive. Straining every sinew to stay on top. After what felt like an eternity and with roaring crowd noise they started to tire. The confused look on Niamh's face and angry glower on Grace's reflected the fact that the ground beneath them no longer felt solid. Almost as once they descended beneath the surface of the purple mix. Both emerged spluttering above the mixture completely covered.

Lois' powerful calves thumped the surface of the ooblek, meanwhile Hanna was in trouble. She was tiptoeing across the mixture without any real force and beginning to sink. With a gurgling cut off scream she was sucked beneath the purple mixture.

Abi emerged next. She hit the oobleck with more gusto than Hanna. Lois was beginning to run out of steam. Lois eventually gave up the ghost and toppled in. That left Abi competing with a fresh and strong looking Noemi. Abi tried her best and easily surpasses her predeccessor's time but the odd yoga class didn't prepare her for the aerobic exercise of high knee sprinting. With a plop she sunk beneath the now-liquid, foetid mixture. Noemi's face lit up ecstatically the yellows were going into a 2 0 lead. Just like on the rugby pitch they looked unbeatable.

Please gunge me

Now it's time for our audience participation part of the show. Now we think we've been giving out cash too freely. We want you to beg to be gunged and we want you to gamble."
"So every girl in the audience please rise to your feet and shout - Please gunge me!"
As pandemonium ensued in the audience Charlotte and Becky moved throughout the crowd. Charlotte grabbed hold of a dirty blonde; who was screaming like a banshee. Becky selected a girl with short dyed red hair.

"So tell us about yourselves" Kate asked the question first to Charlotte's selection, who was wearing fashionably ripped jeans, a tight white top and trainers. "My names Destinee. I am from South London and a retail assistant. I'm a bit skint after a holiday so really need the money"

"How about you?" remarked Kate - turning to the second contestant.
Becky's choice was a shorter, curvier figure. She was idiosyncratically dressed in a floral jumpsuit and had a glint in her eye as she answered the question "I'm Miriam and I'm a social media professional from London. Well, I've always wanted to be gunged, ever since watching the tv as a kid. It's one to tick off the bucket list."

"Ok girls you have to spin two wheels. We have two options for £1000 you can spin both wheels, this includes a one in four chance of you being gunged naked. For £100 you can spin one wheel and be gunged in your choice of clothing."

"Oh definitely both for a grand!!" Destinee seemed pretty sure

Miriam looked more nervous " Well chances are even if I opt for both I'll still keep my clothes on. So both"


Destinee grasped the wheel and gave it a whirl. After ticking onwards it stopped on 'Classic Dunk'.

Destinee seemed pretty happy with the results of the first spin. Raising her hands in the air and cheering. A dunk tank definitely seemed preferable to a baked bean bath. She gave the second wheel a spin.

After what felt like an eternity the wheel clicked onto 'Naked'

Destinee's face dropped as the reality of her situation dawned on her. She composed herself, the crowd baying for naked flesh. She removed her shoes, ripped jeans, socks and top to reveal a shocking pink bra and thong. She looked imploringly at the audience and presenters as if to say "Does this do?" The whole audience very positively told her it was not. She stripped them off covering her front with one hand and boobs with the other. Her body was smoking hot, well proportioned and plump in all the right places.

Destinee was flung into the green gungey pool landing with a splash. The shock of the chair meant she was unable to cover her intimate parts. Her boobs and clit were on full display as she flew through the air. To her mortified embarrassment the big screen played through the slow motion replay allowing the audience plenty of time to gawp at her nudity.
Miriam quickly spun both wheels with a petrified look on her face.


She allowed herself a smile of celebration at avoiding being completely exposed. Miriam removed her outer garments to reveal a mismatched black knicker and green bra combination. She was smaller than Destinee with larger breasts and bigger around the thighs and stomach. A constructed clear plastic receptacle was wheeled onto the stage.

Miriam strode nervously into the mock sundae glass: she recognised that ten or so males from the audience had been given giant ice cream tubs. This was going to be cold.

The tubs were poured on her and she couldn't help but scream her lungs out as the frigid mixture hit her skin. Next was the hot fudge sauce clinging to her face, hair, forming rivulets down by her feet. After this hundreds and thousands!! Miriam was covered and took it in her stride, knowing it was one thing ticked off the bucket list.

"Please find your way to our special VIP seats." Both girls were lead over to two seats on stage. Naked green dripping Destinee and ice cream sundae Miriam. "But can't we shower and have our clothes back?" asked Miriam quizzically.

"Of course" said the host "at the end of the show" chastened, both females made their way back to their seats. Destinee looked mortified at being on display for the rest of the show.

The Memory Game

"Now the aim of this game is very simple. Remember and recall a recipe that we have given to you to learn. But there is a catch/ You will both be placed in the stocks and your bare feet exposed to our new tickling machines. We have randomly drawn the order in which contestants go and who they will be up against. They will each have the same amount of time to remember the recipe. The winner will be the person who gets most of it right"
Hanna was brought out first. She had to remember a recipe for lasagne. The tickling appeared to be less of a problem compared with her lapsed memory. She forgot stock cubes and Worcestershire sauce. Niamh was placed in the stocks next, through Irish accented giggles she recalled far more of the recipe than her opponent.
Lois faced up against Grace. Their assigned recipe was chocolate cake. Lois was first up and begun well, projecting a concentrated confidence. Soon however it became obvious that she was extremely ticklish. The second row forward and hotshot lawyer's demeanour changed, she forgot basic ingredients and her round fell apart. Grace was locked in after her. She managed discomfort better, practising breathing techniques that she learnt from being tattooed; and recalled the ingredients and most of the steps of the recipe. Grace had levelled up for the tattooists.
It was Abi against Noemie in the final memory game challenge. The recipe was guacamole. Abi was first up. Like Grace she was breathing deeply and looked in control. There were a few mistakes not mentioning putting in the avocado stone to prevent the mix browning. Noemie was up next she giggled more and completely forgot onions.
Both captains were recalled from backstage for the result. They had no idea of the results as they had immediately been whisked backstage after their session in the stocks.
Charlotte brought out a full tray of cold lasagne. "The winner of the first round was Niamh" lasagne was splatted against Abi's face. The brunette looked dejected her team were still on a losing streak and she was covered in cheese sauce. Becky came next with a rich chocolate cake "The winner of the second round was Grace". Becky slowly squeezed the chocolate cake into the redhead's face moving upwards to cover her hair.
"And finally the winner of the last game" Kate herself had a bucket of guacamole "ABI!" Abi allowed herself a fistbump as Kate upended the green bucket onto Niamh's head the blue team hadn't quite evened things up but had at least made things a bit interesting

Kate's Fate

"And now to the my least favourite moment of the show. It is of course Kate's fates. I've now been given a wheel of punishment to spin. Kate gave the wheel a spin. After a while it landed on 'custard tart'. Kate felt a knot in her stomach as she was led backstage to change.

To a rapturous ovation from the audience Kate reentered wearing a black basque corset, fishnet stockings attached to frilly lingerie and high stacked heels. It left not much to the imagination and the audience could easily grasp the unease felt by the ex-public schoolgirl dressed as a common harlot.

Kate took her position on the stool, kicked her shoes off and gripped the stool with her hands. Lashings of yellow custard, eggs, flour and broken biscuits assailed Kate. The mixture clung to her face and hair and formed channels along her thighs and calves. She squealed theatrically and swore revenge against her producer, it was without doubt the worst Kate's fate yet.

Ropes

Still with biscuit and flour dust in her hair Kate regained her composure. She had been allowed the most cursory of cleanings up and was still dressed resembling as a 19th century prostitute "Another ordeal that my detestable producer has subjected me to, shortly I will be having the longest most luxorious bubble bath ever. But first, it's time to see which team gets through to the semi finals, and which will get the losers' forfeit. Please welcome back our two teams in their special final round outfits!"

The blues entered first. Abi glided into the studio in a floor length maroon backless dress with silver heels. Grace's dress was scarlet and had an oriental dragon motif. She wore gold ballet pumps on her feet. Hanna was next in a 50s style lindyhop dress, in a blue check pattern. She had white pumps on her feet. All three looked a little more hopeful after their previous success.
The three girls took their places on the usual final round apparatus, chairs positioned above a large, deep pool. The pool was a multicoloured melange of coloured ink and dank, sticky mud.
For sure the rugby girls had scrubbed up nicely. Niamh breezed onto the stage in a thigh-length emerald green cocktail dress, and black heels. She looked confident of a semi-final place. Noemie looked stunning in a little black dress, with frilly patterned pink heels. Lois had chosen a more corporate outfit, pinstriped wide legged trousers and a bespoke silk white shirt, cut to her body. She wore black patent shoes on her feet.

"It is advantage to the yellow team here" said Kate. "As most of our viewers will know by now, each girl has a number of ropes next to her, only one of which will cause her to get a gunging. The Blues won two rounds, so they have five ropes. The Yellows lost two rounds, so they are down to just four ropes. Abi, would you start us off, please!"

Tentatively Abi pulled her rope. The siren blared. Her eyes grew wide with panic. Inky constituency gunge cascaded down upon her. The seat dropped, flinging the slim tattooist into the murky mix below. She emerged slowly, spluttering.

Grace pulled with a resigned look on her face. No sound. She was safe for now.
Next was Hanna. She pulled the one closest to her. To her dismay the siren blared again. She let lose a hysterical volley of loud swear words before being silenced by the torrent of ink from above and plunged, kicking and screaming, into the mix of mud and ink below.

Niamh had five ropes to choose from. She pulled one at random, and as probabilities would suggest she remained dry. To her relief she did, clenching her fist in a small celebration.
Lois screwed up her face and closed her eyes as she pulled a rope. No sound, no siren. She opened her eyes and allowed herself a smile as her logical mind computed that they had a very good chance of victory.

Noemie, with a nervous smile, took the rope furthest from her and pulled. Still no siren. Advantage yellow.

With grumpy resignation Grace's hands clenched around a rope and pulled downwards. For once respite. No siren and no drop to join her boss and apprentice in the pool below. There was still hope for the blue team yet.

Niamh took the rope. She felt a little tentative after Grace's let-off. She deliberated before pulling one to her left hand side. The siren blared. She raised her hands to the heavens as multicoloured ink cascaded down on her, before she was brought back down to earth. Landing with a splat in the middle of the gloop, she quickly righted herself. Emerging as a blob of Annoying but no disaster.

Lois had a neutral expression as she took the rope. To her panicked surprise the siren blared again. Lois was deluged in gunge, before being flung into the grim mixture. The chair mechanism held her there, shaking and shivering before pitching her forward to join her team captain. She landed with a plop and grumpily spluttered herself upright, her best work clothes ruined.

Noemie very nervously took possession of a rope. Screwing her face up and making a squeaking noise she pulled. Silence, then the siren! The pixie haired French girl was enveloped in inky gunge. The chair mechanism stuttered then expelled her forward into the pool. She tumbled inwards and hit the surface headfirst, kicking off a shoe in the process.
Dry and clean above the mess Grace roared in celebration. She was soon joined by her two colleagues in the gunge. They had pulled off an upset and became the second team to go through having only won one game.

Losers' Forfeits

"We will be bringing on our egg chasing losers shortly. They're used to mud and playing dirty but certainly not used to losing. Niamh, you seemed so confident halfway through. What happened?"
"Luck defeated us today. We dominated the blues from start to finish. I'm pretty gutted."
"You know what happens next?"
"Yes our punishment. As captain I would like to take a more severe punishment than my teammates, Lois could lose her job if she is on tv topless and Noemie hates really disgusting mess. Please, please, please" she lilted the last words softly in her Irish accent.
Kate looked at Fiona, her producer, the producer nodded.

The camera panned in on the soon to be humiliated rugby team members. Chunky and buxom Lois had been allowed black underwear and bra, she was in the stocks with a feathered mechanical contraption pointing at her feet.

Noemie was free standing but with her hands bound behind her back with a pink velvet ribbon, this was attached above to a black rope; this allowed her very limited movement from her set position. She had a pair of pink briefs on but otherwise was totally naked, her breasts perky and perfectly proportioned, her abs toned and legs goose pimped from the cold.
Niamh had also been spared total nudity. Her red rugby socks were pulled down to her ankles. Other than that she had not a stitch of clothing on her. Bent over in the stocks her small breasts, haunches and peachy arse were exposed for all the world.

"Now Noemie here begged us to not gunge her with anything too disgusting. So we won't. Instead we have French vanilla ice cream milkshake. A firehose spurted into life covering the little French winger who bitterly shook and screamed. "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. Hm how about Belgian chocolate?" remarked Kate Warm Belgian chocolate streamed over her pixie crop, forming rivulets down her bare skin. Now Hanna, add the finishing touches.

Hanna approached Noemie with delicacy, taking a fingerful of vanilla chocolate from the French girl's neck. She sprinkled a handful of chocolate shavings, chopped pistachios and a glace cherry. Miriam, the fudge having long since dried and forming a solid covering over her hair, was brought over for a human sundae selfie.

"Now Lois, topshot corporate lawyer and back row forward. You're completely at our mercy, Abi here has the controls to this tickling device. We also have a great deal of these" Kate opened two massive chests and released the foul smell of rotting vegetables. "Your sentence is five minutes in the pillory. Any last words?"

"No, do your utter fucking worst!" spat Lois in her posh home counties accent, half-joking, half-angry.

"And selfless Niamh, you've led your team to a defeat and find yourself absolutely starkers. Ten minutes in the stocks! Now you said you'd do anything to save Lois' dignity and Noemie's blushes we've decided to ask Grace to ink the word 'loser' on you as a permanent reminder in Japanese kanji. What do you say?"
The audience gasped, this was a permanent punishment for losing a tv gameshow on the pull of a rope.

Niamh, with a resigned look in her eyes paused to consider her predicament, "Ok I'll do it. Let's get this over with."

The tickling machine started, Lois tried to hold it in as rotten tomatoes thudded against her skin. Lois could no longer hold the laughter and a cannister of fetid rotten milk hit her straight in the mouth. She resolved to hold her mouth closed but the strength of the tickling machine on her exposed feet left her to open it again. It was rotten and appalling.

Niamh, was struck by rotten eggs, blacked fruit and veg and cannisters of sour milk. As the slops hung off the lank hair of the Irish fly half. Kate offered all members of the audience ten pounds if they could hit the girls pale, exposed backside with squished tomatoes. Niamh flinched and squeaked as each struck her bum.

"And to finish off used cooking oil!" Grace lugged a barrel over Niamh's head, coating her in golden liquid. It plastered her hair to her skull, she grimaced and supressed a scream.

Niamh has been totally exposed and humiliated, Lois was still wriggling and giggling. Kate Connors now addressed the camera"We'll hose off these two before Niamh gets inked. Noemie looks good enough to eat. If anyone wants to help us lick her clean come on down now" Kate gave a devilish smile.

"Join us next time for our semi finals. We're looking at more gunge, greater rewards and worse punishments."