Daniel plugged in the newly assembled halogen lamp, flipped on the light switch, and paused to inspect his new dorm room.

He would call this narrow but tidy shoebox on the sixth floor of Morrison Residence Hall home for the duration of sophomore year at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He had returned to campus that morning to move into the new room in preparation for the start of the fall semester on Tuesday. Freshman Orientation had ended a day earlier, and he found Morrison Hall surprisingly quiet. Now, with satisfaction, Daniel observed that everything was in its place, from the compact mini fridge conveniently tucked between the desk and bunkbed ladder, to the small stereo.

The screen of Daniel's phone lit up with an incoming text message. It was from Zach:

"Hey Daniel, Not sure if you're back yet but a couple of us are down on Polk Lawn if you want to catch up. We'll be here for a while. Looks like there's going to be a party or something down here. Not sure what's going on. They're setting up a tent and a lot of people are wearing swimsuits."

"Cool. Be there in a few." Daniel texted back.

Daniel's eyes drifted over the lush green canopy which stretched into the distance out his window. Perhaps the freshmen were having a water fight on the central lawn? Watching hot girls get drenched in water would not be such a bad way to spend an afternoon. In fact, he wouldn't mind if he also got soaked on such a warm day. Daniel slipped into bright red swim shorts, pulled on a soft, loose T shirt, and stuffed a neatly folded beach towel into a plastic bag.

The walk from South Campus to the leafy expanse of Polk Place took just under twenty minutes. By the time he reached the iconic bell tower, Daniel could hear music throbbing from a sound system on the lawn. Jubilant shouts and carefree laughter filled the air. Turning the corner, he saw that a large crowd was gathering around a giant blue tarp spread out on the grass. A colorful banner read, 'CMO Live Show.' A camera crew was poised to capture the event from every angle. The picturesque structures which surrounded the lawn seemed to look on in quiet disapproval.

"Do you know what's going on?" Daniel asked a random girl.

"I think it's an internet reality show where they pick people out of the crowd," she laughed, yelling over the music. "They require the contestants to wear swimsuits. It looks like you came prepared!"

Daniel received another message from Zach, who had run back home to change into board shorts. Using words like "insane" and "totally epic," he said that he had seen the event online and he couldn't believe they had come UNC.

Moments later, the music cut out and the giddy crowd let out a collective cheer. A hunky young guy stepped forward, microphone in hand.

"UNC, Chapel Hill...Are you ready to get MESSY?"

The enthusiastic response was earsplitting.

"Awesome! My name is J.D. Ross, and I want to welcome you to 'College Messy Olympics!' This is the show that puts students from America's finest colleges and universities in totally wacky and outrageous situations. For our first challenge, we're looking for a brave freshman..."

A sea of hands shot up throughout the crowd. J.D. took his time to survey all of the possible choices, heightening the anticipation. Then, he made his selection.

"We're going to ask this lovely young woman to come forward."

Daniel's heart leaped into his throat. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Light, reddish brown hair fell just below her shoulders. Bright blue eyes illuminated a striking, princess-like face. Her smile was unforgettable. She radiated a subtle but irresistible sweetness, a quiet confidence and poise that was tempered with a hint of shyness.

Apparently, she had been 'volunteered' by the group of gleeful girls who surrounded her. Giggling, she stepped forward hesitantly, as if she could not believe that she had been chosen. Her bare feet contacted the soft tarp. She faced the crowd, her sumptuous bikini-clad body on display to the world.

"Tell us your name," commanded J.D., thrusting the microphone forward.

"Sarah."

"Tell us a little bit about yourself, Sarah. What's your hometown?"

"Atlanta, Georgia."

"And what are you studying here at UNC?"

"I'm majoring in Political Science."

"That's awesome. Maybe you would also like to tell us a few of your extracurricular interests?"

"I play the flute. I was in the Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra, which was really cool. I like soccer and volleyball, and I used to study ballet."

"Rad. Are you familiar with our show, Sarah? Do you have any idea what to expect?"

"No. Not really."

The delighted crowd let out a groan of mock concern. Sarah melted into giggles.

"Our first game is called 'Stupid Challenges/Gratuitous Punishments,'" explained J.D. "Its pretty simple. You will be given three challenges. For each challenge that you complete correctly, you will be awarded a point, and more importantly you will remain neat and clean. However, if you FAIL to correctly complete the challenge, there will be a slight penalty..."

On cue, a metal baker's cart was wheeled out which contained three massive, perfectly sculpted cream pies. The crowd cheered. It was clear from the look on Sarah's face that she understood where this was going.

J.D. continued in a tone which seemed both flirtatious and mildly sadistic:

"Are you a straight-A student, Sarah?"

"Yes," she answered, as if torn between honesty and a reluctance to brag.

"I bet you ace every test that comes your way, right? Well, we have confidence that you are going to totally ace these three challenges. But, just in case you don't...Is there anyone out there...perhaps a guy...who would be willing to throw a pie in Sarah's face?

Daniel's heart thudded in his chest. He could not imagine a more insane way to meet a hot girl. Yet, the situation offered him an opening. He thrust his hand into the air. He was convinced that it was a long shot. Yet, fate was on his side. A moment later, he found himself in front of the audience. He tried to act as cool and nonchalant as possible.

A new cart was wheeled out. It contained two dirty old sneakers which were tied together in hopelessly knotted laces. As her first challenge, Sarah would be given a full 30 seconds to completely unknot the laces. She took her place and waited for the clock to start, already looking defeated. She made a valiant effort, but clearly, it was an impossible task. The crowd was ecstatic when the buzzer sounded.

Sarah stepped away from the cart and braced herself for the impending punishment. She flashed a quick glance at the pies, took a deep breath, and brushed a hand through her hair. For a fleeting moment, a look of anxiety and mild dread crossed her face. Then, she rolled her eyes and laughed. She submitted to this indignity with surprising willingness. She shifted her feet, dropped her arms to her sides, and waited for the inevitable.

"Perfect, 'straight-A Sarah' gets no points for the first challenge," jeered J.D. "Instead, she gets a pie...right in her face."

Cheered on by the crowd, Daniel picked up one of the pies. It was heavier than he had expected. Mounds of thick, gooey whipped cream covered deep, cool chocolate pudding. It was all drizzled with generous gobs of sticky chocolate syrup. The quivering, gloppy mass smelled overly sweet. Obviously, it was intended to be as messy as possible.

Slowly, almost teasingly, Daniel approached Sarah, balancing the pie in his hand. For a moment, he wondered if he could really bring himself to do this to such a stunningly beautiful girl. They had not even met. Ordinarily, he would have approached her with reverence while striking up a casual conversation, punctuated with just enough humor and charm. Carefully, he would have selected the right words. Perhaps she would have played a clever, seductive game of 'hard to catch.' This would be a much less subtle meeting.

J.D. seemed to be intent on prolonging the anticipation. Every second felt torturous and excruciating. Addressing the camera, he said:

"Once again, for everyone joining us online, we are broadcasting live from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Sarah is a freshman political science major from Atlanta, Georgia. Unfortunately, she has just failed her first challenge. You are about to watch Sarah get a pie in the face."

Daniel raised the pie in aim. For one divine moment, their eyes met. It was like a sexy game of cat and mouse in which she didn't mind the fact that he was holding all the cards. Sarah giggled, her body stiffened, and she braced herself.

SPLAT. With one decisive push, Daniel delivered the pie squarely into Sarah's face. The crowd erupted in cheers as gooey whipped cream and pudding splattered violently in all directions and oozed over the sides of the plate. There was a certain brutal finality to it. The spectacle of a pie smashing into Sarah's face was so immediately devastating that amused onlookers gasped. "Oooh..."

Daniel pressed his hand into Sarah's face with just enough force and rubbed it in from side to side. An avalanche of pudding and whipped cream dropped onto her shoulders and slid into her breasts, coating the bright bikini top. Her smooth legs were splattered.

The plate dropped. Sarah's face was replaced with a thick, creamy mask. Pie hung from her hair. In an instant, one of the hottest girls on the UNC campus had been stripped of her dignity and magnetism. Her face had been reduced to a mere target, the object of a cheap and demeaning sight gag. Her mouth hung open for a moment and then she dissolved into giggles.

"Can we get Sarah a towel?" J.D. asked, flippantly. "No? Sorry, I guess we've run out of towels."

Sarah wiped her eyes and attempted to pull off gobs of pie. She stood by meekly as J.D. explained the second challenge. It would involve unwrapping a brand new unopened compact disc in 30 seconds or less. The clock was set. Sarah's hands were so messy that she would never be able to accomplish the task. She giggled uncontrollably at the absurdity of the situation and gave up, more or less. The buzzer sounded and the crowd cheered with feverish intensity.

Obediently, Sarah stepped to the center of the tarp and waited for the second pie. A deep layer of cool vanilla pudding was covered with sticky cherry filling and whipped cream.

SPLAT. The pie hit Sarah's face with a satisfying slap. Daniel smeared it into her hair, rubbed it around, and let it stick. Sarah had to reach up and pull off the perverse hat. Suddenly, Daniel was aware that the crowd was getting even louder. He turned and saw that a giant can of Hershey's chocolate syrup had been placed on the cart. Daniel realized that he was now expected to dump the entire can of chocolate syrup over Sarah's head. Cheered on by the screaming crowd, he lifted the heavy can.

"Oh my God, no," moaned Sarah through giggles. "Not in my hair!"

Daniel stood behind Sarah and lifted the can over her head. Slowly, he let it tip. Sarah was engulfed in sticky, black chocolate. It demolished what was left of her hair, poured onto her shoulders, flooded her cleavage, and streamed down her legs.

The tarp was now a pool of chocolate syrup, interspersed with sloppy remnants of the pies. Dripping from head to foot, Sarah stepped through the chocolate. Pudding and whipped cream oozed around her bare feet. She almost slipped, but Daniel steadied her just in time, his hands coming perilously close to her breasts. Had she fallen backwards, she would have felt the stiffness of his cock.

The game was now becoming a total farce. For her final challenge, Sarah would have to solve a Rubik's Cube in 30 seconds or less. Sarah was asked to take a seat on a white stool. Positioned on a platform over the stool was a plastic garbage can filled with thick slime. Sarah was handed a Rubik's Cube which instantly became covered in chocolate.

"I can't even see the colors!" She protested, shaking with giggles. "This is SO stupid!"

The clock started. Sarah gave the Rubik's Cube a few pathetic turns and then gave up and threw it down. She waited to get slimed. The buzzer sounded, and it happened. When it was over, Sarah looked like a creature from a bad science fiction film.

Daniel had one more pie to throw, but now it seemed redundant. He handed the pie to Sarah and offered her the chance to get a little revenge. She jumped at the opportunity.

SMOOSH. Daniel felt the cool pie smack into his face. For a second, he felt smothered. He tasted pudding and whipped cream and felt it going up his nose and into his ears. The tarp was a sloppy mess. Sarah slipped, landed on her back, and giggled uncontrollably. She began to make a 'slop angel.' Daniel got a running start and dived into the tarp, transforming it into a slip and slide. Daniel and Sarah rolled and slid around in the slop, enjoying the unique sensation. It was a naughty playtime. After a few minutes, they went together to get hosed down.

"I don't think I've really had a chance to introduce myself properly. I'm Daniel Shultz."

"I'm Sarah Gardiner. You introduced yourself, alright." She teased, laughing.

"I sort of served you dessert, didn't I?" He joked.

Daniel aimed the hose at Sarah. The stream of cold water hit her delicious body. She let out a giggly yelp and shivered. After a few moments, the water temperature felt good. Daniel watched as she cleaned off her breasts. She seemed to be unaware that every move she made was erotically charged. She had not brought a towel, so he wrapped her in his.

"Aren't you going to want that?" She asked, innocently.

"No." He responded. "After what I did to you, I think I owe you at least this much."

She giggled and shot him a teasing glance.

"You, Mr. Daniel Shultz, enjoyed that pie throwing a little too much. As far as we're concerned, the score is definitely not even. You are going to have to do much more before I even think of forgiving you!"