Me: He, PD, you are late! They are expecting food in just a few minutes. What did you remember to bring?(10:13pm)
Me: And you aren't dressed right. You're not supposed to wear pants.(10:16pm)
PaintedDeer: Hey! Sorry I'm late. The kitchen was running a little slow today. They said that it took longer than usual due to our unusual requests.(10:15pm)
Me: Excuses, excuses. So, I have the banana pudding. What did you bring?(10:16pm)
PaintedDeer: Whaaat? *looks at the order sheet*(10:17pm)
Me: And do you need me to help you with your uniform?(10:17pm)
PaintedDeer: Sure. Just make it look however they want. I brought the barbecue, salad, ice cream stuff, and all the toppings.(10:18pm)
Me: *Ripping your pants off - revealing red boxers underneath.(10:19pm)
Me: I sure hope you remembered the speedos under that. Those boxers may be coming off later too.(10:20pm)
PaintedDeer: *I gasp* How did you know??(10:20pm)
PaintedDeer: *My boxers have little pies printed on them*(10:20pm)
Me: Because I've come to Phi Upsilon Kappa before.(10:21pm)
Me: *Distracted for a moment, admiring the little pies, and imagining what is underneath them.(10:21pm)
PaintedDeer: Ugh. This is going to be one of our weirder jobs. Do you find it funny that they ordered about 10 times more condiments than they needed?(10:22pm)
Me: I found it funny last time. Now, I just don't want to get there late. Set up your heating trays for the BBQ, dude!(10:23pm)
Me: *Pounding noises coming from the dining room. I start looking around for the salads.(10:24pm)
PaintedDeer: *I look around for the Ranch dressing*(10:25pm)
PaintedDeer: Okay, line up the salads and I'll put the dressing on them(10:25pm)
Me: No time for that.(10:26pm)
Me: You wheel out the salads on cart 1, I'll wheel out the dressings in bottles on cart 2.(10:26pm)
Me: Reay?(10:26pm)
PaintedDeer: Okay. Let's do this! *I grab cart 1*(10:27pm)
Me: *as we push through the swining doors, we see all the fraternity boys dressed in their finest.(10:27pm)
PaintedDeer: *I push cart 1 through the kitchen doors, and out into the dining room*(10:28pm)
Me: *all sitting at tables, pounding on them with flatware.(10:28pm)
Me: Jackets, ties, gelled hair, white dress shirts.(10:28pm)
messyclothes has joined the hangout(10:28pm)
Me: *The head table is raised up, so we can see underneath it.(10:28pm)
Me: *Lol - they are all wearing boxers. I.e. semi-formal. HA!(10:29pm)
PaintedDeer: *I start to place a salad at every guy's spot*(10:29pm)
Me: Get this up to the head table first, PD!!!(10:29pm)
PaintedDeer: I'm on it Bash!(10:29pm)
Me: *Passing out bottles of salad dressing - starting with the head table(10:30pm)
PaintedDeer: *On my way, I try not to stare at the lead frat boys' boxers*(10:30pm)
Me: *I try not to stare at PD's boxers(10:30pm)
PaintedDeer: *I jog cart 1 over and start placing salads in front of everyone*(10:30pm)
Me: "Well, it's about time," the lead boy says. "Say, everyone, show your thanks to our intrepid caterers!"(10:31pm)
PaintedDeer: I'm sorry about the delay sir! We're not used to big orders quite like yours. Thank you for choosing us!(10:32pm)
PaintedDeer: *I can't help but catch a glimpse of the lead boy's boxers as he talks to us*(10:32pm)
Me: *some of the boys clap, but others grab the salad dressing, and start squirting it at our knees and below - clearly saving the upper parts of our bodies for later.(10:34pm)
PaintedDeer: "Eyes up here big boy" the lead boy says(10:34pm)
Me: *Second boy next to him stands up.(10:35pm)
Me: "Hey, don't treat him like that. I'm sure he is doing his best."(10:35pm)
PaintedDeer: I'm more horny than angry, trying to cover up my feelings(10:35pm)
PaintedDeer: (I meant that to be in asterisks)(10:36pm)
Me: (I meant that quote to be second boy)(10:36pm)
Me: *second boy waves to you(10:36pm)
Me: "Hey waiter?" - sb(10:36pm)
PaintedDeer: Yes? What can we do for you?(10:37pm)
PaintedDeer: Mmhmm?(10:37pm)
Me: Second boy says, "Is this what you wanted to see?"(10:37pm)
PaintedDeer: *I'm confused for a second*(10:37pm)
Me: *He reaches over and pulls down lead boys boxers, revealing bright yellow speedos(10:37pm)
PaintedDeer: *trying to figure out what he's referring to*(10:38pm)
Me: * am stunned. I thought I was the lead. Why are they favoring PD?(10:38pm)
PaintedDeer: *I glance away, trying to play off my growing erection*(10:38pm)
Me: *Lead boy acts as if he expected this. He just makes a stage sigh, turns to second boy, and says,(10:39pm)
Me: "Dude, starting early arent you?" - fb(10:40pm)
Me: *Meanwhile, some of the clapping has switched to swatting our butt cheeks.(10:40pm)
PaintedDeer: *I'm still confused*(10:40pm)
PaintedDeer: Whaaa..?(10:41pm)
PaintedDeer: *FB tosses his salad all over the boys at the lower tables*(10:41pm)
Me: *Coming to my senses, I come up next to you(10:42pm)
PaintedDeer: Was the salad not to your liking?(10:43pm)
Me: FB-"No, it was not to my liking. I really thing you should....."(10:43pm)
PaintedDeer: I'm not much of a salad guy... I think there are more fun things to do with food than eat it -FB(10:43pm)
Me: *He is interrupted with a mouthful of french dressing from SB.(10:44pm)
Me: *A little more struggling between fb & sb, leads to sb getting pantsed as well.(10:44pm)
Me: *He 'forgot' to wear speedos.(10:45pm)
Me: "PD, clearly we won't need to gather up the salads. Lets go get the main course."-me(10:45pm)
PaintedDeer: *SB sprays some ranch dressing down FB's underwear as well(10:45pm)
PaintedDeer: "Okay! I hope they actually eat this course."(10:46pm)
PaintedDeer: *I dash back to the kitchen and get the Barbecue trolley*(10:46pm)
Me: *I dash right behind you for the extra sauce, but before I get to the door I slip on some of the salad dressing on the floor.(10:47pm)
PaintedDeer: I'll come back for the sauce trolley in a minute!(10:47pm)
PaintedDeer: Watch out!(10:47pm)
Me: Yeah, now you tell me. Thanks.(10:48pm)
PaintedDeer: *I come and help you up, only to slip myself*(10:48pm)
PaintedDeer: *I slide into the sauce cart, where a sauce bottle pops open*(10:49pm)
Me: Ummm, yeah! My hero.(10:49pm)
Me: Dude, you got that on my shirt!(10:49pm)
PaintedDeer: *It falls, coating my head and shoulders with barbecue sauce*(10:49pm)
PaintedDeer: You're telling me?!?(10:50pm)
hit2000in has joined the hangout(10:50pm)
Me: *FB & SB are seated in their places again. Both are grinning.(10:50pm)
Me: FB-"Hey, save some of that for us!!"(10:50pm)
PaintedDeer: *The crowd of frat boys thinks this is all hilarious, they're all laughing*(10:50pm)
PaintedDeer: Oh, We will. *said in a sly tone*(10:51pm)
Me: *starting to loosen up a bit. Looking at you with a knowing grin.(10:52pm)
PaintedDeer: Well, let's serve the head table first again(10:52pm)
Me: *I nod at the BBQ and the sauce bottles, then nod at the head table.(10:52pm)
PaintedDeer: *I slowly wheel one of the sauce carts next to their table*(10:53pm)
PaintedDeer: We've got something special for you guys tonight. I really think you'll enjoy our BBQ sauce! Want a taste?(10:53pm)
Me: I wheel the ribs & sausage, dragging the second sauce cart behind me.(10:54pm)
Me: FB & SB in unison - "absolutely." *opening mouths and sticking out tongues(10:54pm)
PaintedDeer: *I squirt a thick stream of BBQ sauce at them. Some of it lands in their mouths, but more gets on their shirts, ties, and hair*(10:55pm)
PaintedDeer: Surely you two want to share this great stuff with your fellow fraternity members, right?(10:56pm)
PaintedDeer: *FB and SB look at each other* "Sure! Give them a taste too" -FB(10:58pm)
Me: FB&SB splutter a bit, then nod and reach for extra bottles of BBQ(10:58pm)
Me: *Everyone else follows the leaders, and open their mouths.(10:59pm)
PaintedDeer: *I drizzle sauce on the guys sitting at another table* How do you guys like that?(10:59pm)
PaintedDeer: *they ask for a lot more*(11:00pm)
Me: *I start passing out bottles. Meat is totally forgotten.(11:00pm)
PaintedDeer: *I grab some ketchup and mustard bottles off a sauce cart* Anybody want ketchup and mustard?(11:01pm)
Me: *Some of the guys start shrugging off their jackets.(11:02pm)
PaintedDeer: *I spray each one on my face* They're both pretty good!(11:02pm)
Me: Chorus of, "We're thirsty. Where is the water?(11:03pm)
Me: *Distracted, wanting to lick the mess off your face, except I don't like mustard.(11:03pm)
PaintedDeer: *I run back into the kitchen, and return, dragging a gushing hose*(11:04pm)
PaintedDeer: *I spray my face off a little* Here you go! *I spray some of the still-clean boys with warm water*(11:04pm)
Me: * I run to the fake fire alarm, pull it, and 10 seconds of water comes sprinking out on everyone.(11:05pm)
Me: *White, unjacketed shirts start looking more sexy.(11:05pm)
PaintedDeer: So guys, how about some more barbecue? *I grab a bucket from the bottom of the cart, and start flinging barbecue sauce at all the wet boys*(11:07pm)
PaintedDeer: *Everyone understands what to do by this point, and condiments of all sorts start flying*(11:08pm)
Me: *Feeling what a waste it would be not to bring out the pudding, I slink off to the back to start getting some.(11:08pm)
PaintedDeer: Hey Bash! Don't forget the sundae supplies!(11:09pm)
PaintedDeer: *I can't stop thinking about making Bash into a sloppy human sundae*(11:09pm)
Me: *As the BBQ sauce starts to run out, the leads start clinking their glasses to get everyone's attention.(11:10pm)
Me: FB-"Alright, everyone, I think we need a more fair start this time. Lets all hold off until everyone gets pudding.(11:11pm)
PaintedDeer: *Everyone stops flinging sauce and looks up*(11:11pm)
Me: *Grumbling ensues.(11:11pm)
PaintedDeer: *I interrupt* We also brought ice cream toppings(11:12pm)
PaintedDeer: *This seems to cheer everyone up*(11:12pm)
Me: SB - "Okay, everyone, ties off!!!"(11:12pm)
PaintedDeer: *I rung to the back and bring out a cart of sundae toppings*(11:13pm)
Me: *while you and I pass out heaping bowls of pudding, they boys start removing each other's ties.(11:13pm)
Me: *all jackets are off by now.(11:13pm)
Me: *all shirts see-through(11:13pm)
Me: *Folks who are slow to sit back down start losing their shorts.(11:14pm)
PaintedDeer: *I make sure every table has copious amounts of pudding and sundae toppings*(11:14pm)
Me: *I lay down on a cart, face-up, as pre-planned.(11:14pm)
PaintedDeer: SB- "How much longer is this gonna take?"(11:14pm)
PaintedDeer: Well boys, we've got a special treat for you tonight. Bash is going to be our human sundae!(11:16pm)
PaintedDeer: *I spray whipped cream all over you, and rub it around*(11:16pm)
Me: FB-"Well, we all have our pudding, lets help PD decorate his partner.(11:16pm)
Me: *everyone grabs topping and starts crowding around the cart.(11:17pm)
PaintedDeer: If Bash isn't enough for you boys, you can have me for seconds!(11:17pm)
PaintedDeer: *I shove my hand in a nutella jar and pull out a big goopy handful*(11:18pm)
Me: *I try to reach down and feel your shorts, but so many are close by I can't tell who I am grabbing.(11:18pm)
Me: *FB, who just got close to you, grabs your wrist and rubs the nutella on your face.(11:19pm)
PaintedDeer: *I slather it on your chest, and smooth it on your face*(11:19pm)
Me: (Duh!(11:19pm)
PaintedDeer: *I give him a smooch, rubbing nutella all over his face*(11:20pm)
PaintedDeer: *The other frat boys start decorating you*(11:20pm)
Me: *Seeing what FB is doing, I get a bead on your location. I grab some cream and spray it down your shorts.(11:21pm)
PaintedDeer: *They're pretty sloppy, and start decorating each-other too*(11:21pm)
Me: But can't get too much done, because SB grabs me and rolls me back onto the table.(11:21pm)
Me: *I start seeing some of the yellow pudding and nilla wafers appear among the decorations on all of us.(11:22pm)
PaintedDeer: *The frat boys push two tables together, and slide us on top*(11:22pm)
PaintedDeer: SB- "Decorate them! And this one too!" *He and a few others push FB onto the table as well*(11:22pm)
Me: *FB & SB climb up onto the table to stand over each of us, but the others rip their shirts off as they climb up.(11:23pm)
Me: *Because the world is a just place, SB gets the same treatment FB does.(11:23pm)
PaintedDeer: *FB and SB slip and land on top of us*(11:24pm)
Me: OOOOffffh(11:24pm)
PaintedDeer: *We squirm around together as the other boys decorate us more*(11:24pm)
PaintedDeer: *FB rips my shirt open and smears nutella around*(11:25pm)
Me: *I am able to scrape random cream off others, and smear it onto your hair and neck.(11:25pm)
Me: *SB rips open my shorts and smears BBQ sauce all over my speedos.(11:26pm)
PaintedDeer: *SB pours chocolate hard shell topping all over FB and me, and tops us with sprinkles*(11:26pm)
Me: *Guys, rip all the rest of our clothes off, then fade away to their own grous.(11:32pm)
Me: *groups(11:32pm)
Me: FB leans down to kiss PD, but starts fondling my chest.(11:33pm)
Me: SD leans over to start liking stuff off my pecs, but starts fondling PD's crotch.(11:33pm)
Me: We start grabbing whatever body parts we can reach and start caressing....(11:34pm)
Me: Then, the tables collapse!(11:34pm)
Me: We all start laughing until we tear up.... then we begin the evening in earnest....(11:35pm)