Maria: a circus-story pt 3

Author's Note:

This chapter of Maria's story is one which I greatly enjoyed writing and hope you all enjoy as well. I am also very honored to announce that the excellent writer, Messy Irina, allowed me to create a character to use as a tribute to her stories. Be sure to read her stories if you haven't already--especially her circus stories which were a HUGE inspiration for this series. And now, I humbly present the third chapter of Maria's story.

-- Marlowe

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Re-cap:



After turning 18, the young and ambitious Maria Costin came to the North Shore Circus with a letter from her late father requesting that the manager have her trained to become an acrobat. However, the former manager has become the owner, yet is still overseas. The new manager's wife, Josephine DeVentura Willard, is the star acrobat of the circus and is jealous of Maria's youthful beauty. She has Maria join the circus' clown troupe to keep her "in her place." However, Maria gets to know the friendly clowns and likes them--particularly a thirty-year-old clown-girl named Gabs.

After Mrs. Willard forced the manager of the clowns, Joe Bennett, to put Maria through a humiliating rite of passage during a performance, he swore never to treat Maria or anyone else that way again--even if Mrs. Willard would fire him for it. Due to the kindness of a phantom-stranger, Maria forgave Bennett and the clowns for humiliating her. Bennett and Maria had a talk, and he agreed to help her become a trapeze artist. However, Mrs. Willard then demanded that Maria be in all circus shows going forward and take at least five pies in the face in each show. In order to keep Bennett from being fired, Gabs stepped up and accepted Mrs. Willard's demand. She firmly believes that pies and mess are the tools of clowning and not of someone like Mrs. Willard. She must now put together a clown act with pies before the next show.


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It was Saturday, and they only had four days before the next show on Thursday. If they didn't want to do the wheelbarrow or a routine with pies that would only bore the audience and humiliate Maria, they needed to quickly come up with a routine and rehearse it. Gabs had Maria meet her in the auxiliary training tent late that Saturday afternoon to meet "her squad" and for what she called "a true lesson in pies."

When Maria stepped through the entrance, she found Gabs and four other female clowns in their black unitards tending to fold-out tables next to multi-tiered rolling carts.

There was Jenny, a tall, lanky clown who wore her dirty-blonde hair in unbraided pig-tails. Like Gabs, she was also very energetic. Though, unlike Gabs, she was closer in age to Maria-- about twenty five years old.

There was also Diana a woman in her early 40s with short, jet-black hair. She was a very laid-back and chill individual, and was rarely impolite.

There was also Heather who was slightly portly and had very pretty curly, brown hair. Heather's first language was sarcasm and she always spoke her mind no-matter what she thought.

The final girl in the set was Irina. Irina was a tall, beautiful Russian woman with long, blonde hair. In some ways, she looked a lot like Mrs. Willard if one were to squint a bit. But unlike Mrs. Willard, her blonde hair was quite smooth and of a bright, natural shade-- not dyed or bleached. By her shapely figure and stark features, she seemed more fit to be a runway model than a circus clown.

Next to the fold-out table was a pile of wide, brown, bowl-shaped objects. Gabs looked up, saw Maria, then came over to her and said,

"Maria! Now that you're here, let us show you how we make our pies."

Maria came closer and saw that the brown disk-shaped objects were what appeared to be giant, comically-oversized pie crusts. They were very thick and Maria picked one up to find it was actually a light-weight, squishy block of foam. She looked and saw that Gabs and the other women were filling each crust with a ton of shaving cream. Gabs told her,

"You gotta really load these pies with shaving cream, the more cream, the bigger the splat. And trust me, for the audience to get the most out of a pieing, the splatter and the mess need to be huge." Maria picked up one of the crusts and a can of shaving cream and began to fill it. She asked as the can sputtered out its foamy contents,

"So, you don't use actual pies?" Jenny laughed and answered,

"Yup! Nine times out of ten, we use shaving cream. We reserve real pies for special occasions." Heather added,

"Such as birthdays." Gabs explained,

"What happened to you last night with those French Silk pies should never have happened. As tasty as real pies are, they are horrible for clowns in so many ways. For instance, their sugary contents stain our clothes." Diana added,

"They're also pretty heavy and hard to throw. Getting hit with them is a real bitch...well, as you probably already know." Irina added,

"And the mess they make is not good. They make only a small splatter. The splatter needs to be big!"

Maria rubbed her still slightly bruised nose at the mention of the pie hits. It still stung a bit as the memory of getting slammed with those bakery pies was still fresh in her mind.

Heather and Irina were taking the pie crusts that Gabs, Diana, Jenny, and now Maria had piled high with shaving cream and were using pieces of straight-edged cardboard to smooth the cream out. They shaped each to make them into tall, smooth, round domes--domes that looked over four times as tall as the height of the foam crusts. At the top of each, they expertly employed a flick of the wrist to create a curly-Q of cream. Heather explained,

"We also do our best to make the pies look good--like big, cartoony cream pies. It's all about building an illusion and a pie that is a mere pile of strands of shaving cream can break that illusion."

After they had made quite a few large, creamy pies, the five gathered in the middle of the tent to teach Maria. Gabs told her,

"Clowns are some of the world's best actors. For a pie-routine, every step, toss, and movement is carefully planned. Every clown knows when they will give and receive a pie. It takes acting to convince the audience that this isn't the case. We have to sell them that we are genuinely surprised or indignant when hit." As she said this, she went to the table and picked up one of the pies they had made. She balanced it atop her right hand as she came near Jenny. Jenny stood tall and still--facing forward without looking at the pie. Gabs continued,

"Now, watch this." At that, Gabs took the pie and shoved it into Jenny's face. It caused a big splatter and buried her chest and shoulders in giant mounds of foamy cream. Jenny calmly removed the crust from her cream-shrouded face, then used her hands to wipe most of the mess on her face off in one swipe. This revealed a calm and almost bored expression. Gabs pointed to her and said,

"Now, Maria, this is exactly what you should NOT do when you take a pie. Jenny stood still, relaxed, and hardly moved her head and body the whole time. Her face was calm seeing the pie coming, and she looked calm after taking the pie. She immediately removed the foam crust from her face, and wiped off all the cream using her hands. Now..."

Gabs picked up another giant pie and walked over to Irina. Irina saw the pie and her eyes opened wide. She began shaking her head and motioning with her hands to keep the pie away. Her mouth was agape in shock as the pie came closer. Maria barely caught sight of Irina closing her eyes and mouth just as the pie hit her in the face.

The moment it impacted, her head jolted back a bit and her whole body reemed to recoil. She spread her arms out wide in helpless shock and even spun them around a bit like a windmill when she pretended to almost lose balance. She then froze up stiff with the foam cust over her face. She never touched the pie-crust: she just let it slide off her face and fall to the ground.

After it had done so, she opened her mouth wide in shock and disgust. It was the first thing Maria could see through all the cream. She then stretched her arms out wide before taking a finger with one hand and slowly wiping the cream out of one eye--with a flourish of movement when completing the swipe. She then did the same to the other eye.

Only her eyes and mouth could be seen under the cream all over her face. Her mouth twisted into a frown of anguish and she pretended to pout and despair as she looked around--showing what had been done to her to everyone. Her face then turned to one of exaggerated anger as she glared at Gabs and looked as if she was about to get her own pie. Then, suddenly, she stopped. She stood back up straight and her face seemed calm again. Gabs pointed to her and said,

"Now THAT is how one DOES take a pie in the face. Her posture, movements, hand-motions, facial expressions, and timing were all perfect. She perfectly showed the shock, disgust, sadness, and anger of getting a pie in the face. That is how you sell a pie-hit to an audience!"

Gabs then picked up one of the pies and said with a grin,

"So, Maria...ready to take your first real pie in the face?" Maria was a bit nervous, but she answered with a sheepish smile,

"Umm, alright. Haha. I suppose so." Maria stood still as Gabs came forward. The circus-style pie looked so huge. Memories of the past night in the ring made her uneasy as the pie came closer. Yet, Gabs' warm smile reassured her that it would be alright.

Gabs gently shoved the giant pie into her face. Everything went dark as Maria felt her face and the whole front-half of her head enveloped by the soft, cold, smooth shaving cream. She could feel it sticking to every bit of her face as more of the pie pressed in. She almost forgot she was supposed to be acting and when the foam crust fell from her face, she opened her mouth wide in disgust and mimicked what Irina had done. When she had cleared her eyes, Gabs said,

"That was pretty good, Maria! I'm going to give you another one, but this time, I want you to do something a bit different. That pie hit was very soft and gentle, wasn't it? Well, this time, pretend like you've been hit in the face with a baseball bat, okay? You need to sell the impact more to the audience. I promise I won't pitch it harder." Maria laughed, then agreed.

"Splat!" came the second pie. Maria jerked her head back and pretended to stumble a bit at the hit. She was immediately greeted with praises from the rest of the crew. Gabs then pointed to Heather and Diana. After doing so, Diana got a pie from the table and started walking over towards her. Gabs then told Maria,

"Now, just like every other joke told in every other form of comedy, pies have rules. There needs to be a set-up, a delivery, and a punchline. You see..." At that moment, her face turned to one of horrified surprise as she recognized Diana in front of her winding up the perfect shot-put pitch to slam a pie in her face. At the very last moment, Gabs ducked and the pie slammed into the face of Heather--whom Maria hadn't noticed had come up behind Gabs. Gabs then said,

"See what I mean? This also demonstrates how key surprise is to using pies. Heather knew that Diana was going to hit her with the pie. But what makes the hit funny is that it seemed like she wasn't expecting it. Another element that feeds into the formula for using pies is their retaliatory nature. Just look at Heather and Diana."

Maria looked to see Heather over by the pie-table with Diana motioning to her how sorry she was to have hit her. Diana then panicked when she saw Heather pick up a pie. She froze as Heather came close to her with it. Heather then pointed off to the left as if to say "what's that over there?" Diana got a puzzled look on her face and squinted to see what Heather was pointing at. Heather took a few steps to the left, then spun around and slammed her pie in Diana's face. Maria couldn't help but laugh to see it unfold so masterfully.

Gabs then stood to face Maria while all the others went to the table to get a pie. Gabs thus explained,

"So hopefully, you can see just how funny pies can really be. The characters who get pies in their faces are set up to be seen as dignified and filled with pride. Seeing all that pride wash away with the hit of a simple pie is what really resonates with an audience. Also, a final rule to every pie scene is that NO ONE walks away clean and with their dignity intact. Everyone in the act needs to get one before the end. Sometimes, a clown purposefully stays clean until the very end--prideful that they've essentially avoided all the mess. But, typically this means--"

Gabs was interrupted by a tap at her shoulder from Irina. Gabs turned around and was bombarded with seven thrown pies coming from Irina, Diana, Heather, and Jenny. Her whole face and upper body were left dripping in large glops of white cream. After taking in the mess and looking sorrowful, she turned around and finished, saying with a sigh,

"--means that all the other clowns will take pies and bombard the clean one...as you can see." Maria giggled once more at this hilarious reversal of fortunes. She now better understood what made pies so funny. Gabs then told her,

"Now that you know the basic rules of using pies, we can plan out a skit." Maria asked Gabs,

"So, it's just us, then?" Gabs smiled, then answered,

"Pretty much. Gotta let the other clowns keep to their routines, and I'll be honest, too many clowns can make a pie routine very difficult. Plus, Mrs. Willard has her female-only troupe of acrobats: it only makes sense we challenge her with a girls-only group of our own." Jenny then asked,

"Well then, before we plan a routine, we need a name. What should we call ourselves?" Maria then said,

"Uhh, I have an idea for a name..."


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When Thursday night came around, crowds gathered from all over to come see the circus show. As a few thousand filled the seats under the big top, the performers came out to put on quite the show. Animals did tricks, a clown got shot out of a cannon, riders stood tall atop galloping horses, the tightrope walker did a death-defying balancing act, and many more merry sights were applauded. The sounds, smells, bright lights, colors, and pure energy of the circus was in full bloom.

Mrs. Willard and her troupe of Bianchi Sisters gave what the crowd thought was quite an incredible performance. But as those limber ladies leapt, dove, and swung high above their heads, only a connoisseur of aerialism would have recognized their performance as less of an "A" and more of a "B" or (when Mrs. Willard was on) a "C" grade.

After their performance, Mrs. Willard made her way to the manager's box where her husband and a few of the higher-ups were watching the show. Over her white leotard which was lined with silver, sparkling flourishes and feathery embellishments, she wore a white robe. She took a seat next to her husband and asked,

"So, how was my performance tonight?" Mr. Willard smiled and said,

"Ohh, the crowd absolutely loved you...as always, my little star. You were fantastic!" She thus allowed him to kiss each of her cheeks before she turned to watch the show as the lights went down. As the drumroll played and the top-lights spun their white circles around the center of the ring, she leaned over to her husband and asked,

"Is this the clown act?" He whispered back,

"Yes, indeed it is." She then asked,

"And you checked to make sure that Maria girl DOES get pies in the face during it, right? At least five pies?" Mr. Willard nodded and whispered back,

"Oh yes. I watched them rehearse the other day. I think you'll find it quite hysterical." Mrs. Willard gave a devilish smile and watched intently as she heard the announcer call out over the speakers,

"And now...the clowns of the North Shore Circus proudly present: a new clown act. Ladies and gentlemen, give a big round of applause to our newest comedy troupe: the Baker's Half-Dozen!" Clapping and cheers erupted as the lights came up in the middle of the ring to show that metal carts had been wheeled out which contained no small number of those large pies described earlier when Maria and the clowns had been practicing. There were also long mock-up tables rolled out--filled up with pies and at the end of one was a large, round, white cake.

Gathered around the counters were five brightly-dressed women. Each wore a baggy, satin, one-piece clown jumpsuit. Each costume found its material tapered at the wrists and ankles by wide, round, ruffled cuffs. Lining down the center of each suit were three large, puffy pom poms. Around each of their necks was a wide, double-layered, ruffled clown collar made of soft tulle. These collars were so thick that the clowns' chins were nearly swimming in them, and they were so wide that they almost reached past the clowns' shoulders. Each clown wore colored slippers with a large pom pom adorning the front tips. Each also wore a neon-colored clown wig beneath short, cone-shaped hats which were also adorned with pom poms. Though each clown wore close to the same costume, the pattern and colors of each were drastically different. Mrs. Willard asked,

"Which one is Maria? Is she out on stage yet?"

Little did she know that Maria was the one in the suit that was half light blue and half light yellow. The pom poms on the suit were a bright red, and her collar was white with a thin, red trim. She wore a bright pink wig beneath her cone-hat with long wavy locks. She, as well as all the other clowns wore Auguste-clown make-up: meaning they used make-up to highlight their important features but not cover the whole face like a white-face clown. This was for the purpose of making the pie goop that would cover their faces more striking.

Maria had painted a large white area around her mouth that encompassed a bright, red smile. On each of her cheeks were doll-like, large, red circles. She gave her eyes massive amounts of black eyeliner and drew large, downward-pointing triangles below each eye. Her eyeshadow was swallowed up by the high, arching white areas she colored above her eyes that went over her brows. The tops of these white areas were colored with blue and black lining. At the tip of her nose was a bright, red circle. Normally, they would wear large clown-noses, but those were not preferred when dealing with pies. The make-up, wig, and clothes made her nearly impossible for Mrs. Willard to distinguish. The other clowns wore make-up of a similar kind but with slight variation to that of Maria.

The clowns were all lying back in fold-out chairs when Gabs stepped into the ring. Dressed as a ringmaster, she was the only one not dressed as a clown. She wore a red, tailed jacket with wide, black lapel flaps and gold epaulettes atop each shoulder. Beneath the jacket was a leotard made to look like a white vest with a low neckline over a black, velvet bottom. She wore fishnet stockings down her legs which came down to tall, jet-black, high-heeled boots that reached up nearly to her knees. She wore white, silk gloves, a black bowtie around her neck, and a black top-hat. She told the clowns,

"Awright! Listen here, you lolli-gaggers, my party will be starting soon, and you all don't have NEARLY enough pies made. You all need to get on it! Finish making those pies!" At once, the five clowns hopped up from their chairs and stood in line at attention. Gabs instructed,

"And don't you forget about the cake, either. Oh, and most importantly: there better not be so much as one tuft of cream out of place when I get back? You hear that? No mess! NO MESS!"

And with that, she strutted away toward the periphery of the lighted area of the ring--toward a mock-up door positioned just within the edge of the lights. After she left, the circus band struck up a light, goofy-sounding rag-time tune which continued to play to the end of the performance. Diana began pointing at each of the clowns and then pointed at stations for them to make pies. Diana's clown outfit was half-red and half-black with white pom poms. Her short, black hair was sheathed by a standard, neon-orange, curly clown wig. She went back and forth ordering the clowns at the tables to work harder.

After a bit of standing around doing nothing, Diana addressed Heather and Irina who both came up to her and motioned that they were out of cream and needed to get more. Heather was wearing a green clown suit with white pom poms. However, unlike most of the other clowns, her collar as well as wrist and ankle ruffles were a bright yellow instead of white. Her hair was covered by a wig like Diana's but of a bright red. Next to her stood Irina in a pink suit speckled with large, white polka-dots and her pom poms were a light blue. Her lovely blonde hair was in a bun and hidden behind a neon-blue clown wig of long, straight hair styled as low pig-tails.

After the two left, it was only Diana, Maria, and Jenny left in the ring. Maria was working near the end of a long table laid out with pies. Across from her was Jenny who was busy making her own set of pies. Jenny wore a suit that was composed of alternating yellow and purple diamonds like a harlequin pattern. Her pom poms were white and she wore a long, green wig. Maria turned around while working to see that Diana had taken one of their folding chairs and was now having a nap.

Maria made a look of comical frustration to the audience. She then eyed the cake on the table, then looked around with a devious smile. She carefully took the cake in both hands, then slowly crept over to Diana in an over-the-top fashion of tip-toeing. Once she was standing right over the snoring Diana, she held the big, white, round cream-cake right over her head. She looked about at the audience as if asking them if they wanted to see her give Diana her "just desserts." The audience's chuckles were her affirmative answer. With a mischievous chuckle, she flipped the confection over.

"SPLAPP!!!" The audience erupted in laughter as the creamy cake plopped right down over Diana's face. She immediately awoke with a start and fell put of her chair. When she stood up, she looked down at her suit in comical horror. Cake was smeared all over the white-and-red suit and her wide collar was now more of a bib for spilled cream. With a tremendous motion of exaggerated proportions, she wiped the cream out of her face, then looked over towards Maria. While Diana had been stunned, Maria quickly slinked back to her table. Yet, it was pretty obvious to Diana that Maria had been the prankster by how her shoulders were bobbing up and down with barely-stifled laughter as she worked.

Diana firmly placed her hands on her hips, gave defiant "hrrmph!", then marched over to the other end of the table. She carefully selected one big, extra creamy pie. With a devilish smile, she began sneaking up behind Maria with the pie. As she was tip-toeing, Maria suddenly turned around. Diana immediately hid the pie behind her back and smiled in a friendly way at Maria. Maria waved, then turned back to making pies. With the coast clear, Diana resumed sneaking up on Maria. When she was even closer to Maria than before, Maria turned around again. Once more, Diana hid the pie behind her back and pretended to nonchalantly whistle. This brought a small burst of laughs from the audience.

Finally, nearly right behind Maria, Diana crept up behind her, and gave her a tap on the shoulder. Diana looked as if she was winding up for a shot-put pie smash when Maria spun around and smacked her in the face with a surprise pie. "SPLAT!" The whole audience erupted in laughter. Diana's pie fell to the ground and she stood frozen in shock for a moment. She then opened her mouth in a wide "O" shape and looked around at the audience in disbelief. As comically as possible, she dramatically wiped the pie cream out of each eye. She walked away in sad defeat before suddenly smiling and pointing her finger in the air to show she had an idea.

She went to a separate table not far from where Jenny was still busy making pies, and picked up from under it a large, colorful box. Diana placed this two-foot-by-two-foot wide box on the table, then wiped as much of the shaving cream off of her face as she could. She took a pie, showed it off to the audience, then placed it inside the box. She closed the flip-open lid, then carefully turned the box 180 degrees. She began turning a handle on one side of the box and the circus-band temporarily stopped their rag to allow its music-box tune of "pop goes the weasel" to play. The audience now realized this was an oversized jack-in-the-box toy. When the song ended, the lid shot open and out sprang the pie on a mechanical arm powered by springs. It thrust the pie out of the box with tremendous force and it veered diagonally. The pie was held firmly by a hand sealed to the bottom of the crust with a sticky paste. Diana clapped her hands and gave a devilish smile as the audience gasped in realization. THIS would show that Maria, Diana told everyone with a smirk.

Diana slowly walked up to Maria again and tapped her shoulder. She turned around and greeted Diana. Diana smiled at her, then held out the box...with a fresh, creamy new pie inside. Maria looked absolutely delighted and accepted the jack-in-the-box. She held the bottom up with one hand to where the top of the box was just below her chin and began cranking the handle with her other hand.. Diana grinned in excited anticipation opposite Maria on the other side of the box as the music played. Maria played the tune to the last note and then was caught by surprise...

...When the pie sprung out and slammed into Diana's face with a tremendous splatter of foamy cream. The whole crowd roared with an echoing laughter. Maria had used quick reflexes to flip the box around when Diana had handed it to her, and Diana was so eager to see Maria get pied that she had leaned in close enough to get the pie smack-dab in the kisser. Maria feigned shock and gasped while Diana stood frozen with a new pie in her face. There was so much cream in that pie that her face was practically swimming in it as it piled up over her shoulders and collar.

Diana eventually threw down the pie-in-the-box and wiped out her eyes again in comedic anger. She stormed away to her table again to think of something else. Just at that moment, in through the door came Heather. Heather saw Diana and began to bend over laughing at how hysterical she looked. With a look of pure annoyance, Diana thus picked up a pie and angrily marched over to Heather who was busy laughing so hard that she didn't seem to notice Diana approaching. Just as Diana was about to throw the pie at her, she jolted upright with a look of utter surprise and horror. Diana then tossed the pie right at her face.

But just as it was about to hit, Heather ducked the pie and it, instead, slammed right into the face of the person who just came in through the door behind her: Irina. The audience continued to gleefully laugh as they watched Irina react in shock to the pie that had splattered cream all over her face, collar, and pink suit. Heather then took a few steps away and began to point and laugh wildly at Irina. She bent over almost gasping with laughter while Irina simply glared at her through the cream all over her face. Irina was suddenly surprised when she felt a tap at her shoulder. She turned around to see Diana with a pie, and Irina instinctually held up her hands to block the hit. Yet, she was puzzled to see Diana not about to throw the pie at her. Instead, Diana offered her the pie.

Irina took the big, cream pie, then whistled to get Heather to stop laughing. When Heather looked up, Irina hit her in the face with the pie. Heather stood shocked in disbelief as Diana and Irina shook hands. The audience was eating the performance up. In the manager's box, Mr. Willard was laughing hysterically. Next to him, Mrs. Willard had a stone-cold expression on her face and didn't so much as chuckle. Mr. Willard asked her,

"Well, what do you think? Isn't it funny?" Mrs. Willard coldly replied,

"We'll see... I notice that Maria hasn't been pied yet." By this point, Mrs. Willard had been able to identify Maria and was waiting anxiously to see that her demand was met. She silently kept watching as the show continued.

Back in the ring, Diana had been so distracted by the return of Heather and Irina that she hadn't noticed Maria had sneaked up behind her with a pie. As Maria tried to hit her with the pie, Diana turned around and ducked as quick as a lightning flash. Maria caught her pie at the last moment, then bent down and shoved the pie into Diana's face. While all of this had been going on, Jenny was still at her table busy making pies as if she hadn't heard or noticed anything that had happened.

Meanwhile, Heather had gone to the table to get a pie to get revenge on Irina. Across from her, Irina had picked up a banana from the table. Heather came running quickly towards Irina when Irina peeled the banana and turned around to eat it. She tossed the peel over her shoulder and it landed right in Heather's path. Heather slipped on the banana and prat-fell face-down into the pie she had been holding in both hands.

When Heather got up, she marched over to Irina and her table. Heather took away Irina's peeled banana and used a small knife on the table to dice it a little bit. Heather then took a pie from the table and shoved it in Irina's face. As Irina stood frozen in shock, Heather held her arms down at her side to keep her from wiping away the cream. Heather then took two of the banana slices she had cut and put them in the cream over Irina's eyes. She then took another slice to place over her nose, then used the remaining half of the banana as a mouth. The audience laughed to see Heather present her creamy snow-woman to them. It wasn't long before Irina spit out the banana and wiped off the cream and slices in hilarious disgust.

Meanwhile, Diana had another pie and was trying to chase down Maria to give it to her. Just when it seemed Diana had cornered Maria, Maria turned around, grabbed Jenny from behind her and used her as a human shield. Diana's pie smashed right into Jenny's ultra-surprised face. After comedically wiping the pie off her face, Diana pointed to Maria who had backed away from them. Both Diana and Jenny each took a pie and tried to corner Maria again. This time, with two clowns, it seemed to work as they both came up and flanked her on each side.

Maria had an exaggerated look of worry as she turned to her right and saw Diana with a pie, then turned to her left and saw Jenny with a pie. She continued to look back and forth as they came closer. She then looked ahead of her at the audience in a face of sad resignation.

"KER-SPLAT!" "KER-SPLORT!" At the very last moment, Maria had ducked the oncoming pies. With Maria's head out of the way, Jenny and Diana accidentally hit each other in the face with their pies. The crowd went absolutely wild with laughter.

By now, Irina and Heather had noticed that everyone was now covered in pie...except for Maria. Maria began to look panicked as it seemed her face was now destined for an unavoidable, creamy fate. Everyone grabbed a pie and surrounded Maria on all sides. First Jenny tossed a pie at Maria, but Maria was in front of Heather who was across from Jenny. The pie hit Heather in the face as Maria ran in front of Diana. Irina tossed her pie at that time and it hit Diana across from her when Maria ducked again. Heather prepared to throw her pie at Maria when Maria ducked again and she hit Jenny across from her. Irina tried with the final pie to hit Maria, but (like the rest) had just unintentionally hit Diana.

They all went back to the table to reload on pies as a panicked Maria ran towards the door. She found the doorknob to be stuck and turned around to see that the other clowns had surrounded her with pies. There was nowhere to go this time. Just as all the clowns drew back their arms ready to pitch their creamy confections, Maria stepped to the side as Gabs came in through the door.

"SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLOOT! SPLUT!" Gabs was gobsmacked. She was immediately covered head-to-toe in cream by a barrage of pies.

"Ohhh!!! Ughh!!! What is the meaning of this!?!" she screamed as she wiped the cream out of her face. She looked around in horrified disbelief and exclaimed,

"Look at this mess! There's almost no pies left! My party is ruined! Look at me! My face--my outfit...it's ALL RUINED!" She then turned to the clowns with a look of intense rage, pointed her finger at them and yelled,

"Why, I oughta--!" Just then, they all turned around and saw that Maria was pointing and laughing at them all intensely. Gabs recognized what had to be done, and she joined the other clowns as they went to the long table to take a pie. As they stepped closer towards Maria, she looked terrified and motioned for them to put the pies down with an innocent, pleading face. Gabs looked to the rest and said,

"Hold it! So, she wants us to put the pies down? Alright. Everyone, put your pies down." Maria smiled and clapped with glee as the clowns and Gabs reluctantly put down their pies with sad, angry faces. But, Gabs called for a huddle and they gathered together. After loud whispering, they came out of the huddle with mischievous smiles. All the clowns ran to Maria before she could get away and picked her up. Irina and Diana held her up by her arms at the front and Jenny and Heather held up her legs at the back. They ran around the ring with Maria as if they were carrying a battering ram. As they did so, Gabs picked up a big, creamy pie and held it out like a matador holding out a red cloth. The clowns charged full-speed-ahead at the pie with Maria as their unwilling torpedo. She was helpless to do anything more than look up at the pie coming right towards her face.

"KER-SPLAT!" Cream shot out in every direction as Maria's face rammed straight into the pie. The audience laughed heartily then gave a great round of applause to finally see the instigator get her comeuppance. The clowns gently placed Maria down as cream dripped down her collar and suit. Gabs and the others went and got more pies, then pelted with Maria with ten pies--two per each of them. After their barrage left her head-to-toe a giant, white, foamy mess, Maria reached up to swipe off just a bit of the pie covering her. She then pretended to give it a taste. She wiped her face, then nodded and smiled to show that she thought it was good pie.

After that, Gabs and all the clowns then went to the table to grab the last six pies. They all then ran out into the middle of the ring and waved to the audience. All at once, they took a bow--a bow that ended with their faces going down into the pies they were holding. The audience applauded even louder to see their cream-smeared faces look up at them one more time. The circus-band played a triumphant, concluding fanfare as the lights went down and the tech-crew came out to clean the ring and move out the tables and props.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Shouted Mr. Willard as he cheered for them. As he clapped, he said to his wife, "I've never seen our clowns put on a performance that funny before." He looked to his wife who had a strange expression on her face. Josephine looked both puzzled and slightly frustrated. She said,

"Well, Maria did get pied...I suppose. But somehow, this wasn't what I was hoping for. They all seemed...too happy. Where's the humiliation?"

As Mrs. Willard continued to stew in her frustration, Maria and the clowns were back in clown-alley amongst all the other clowns and getting congratulated for such a successful routine. After Bennett heard that Mr. Willard loved the new routine, he decided to treat his newest sub-troupe of clowns to some well-earned dessert--dessert that, fortunately for them, didn't include pies.

Maria sat down to a bowl of ice cream while still in her clown suit and make-up and still covered in a good amount of shaving cream. She looked up and found herself surrounded by the laughter and conversation of friends. For the first time in a long time, she was happy to be where she was.

Yet, as great as things had turned out and as bright as the future was looking, Maria had no way of knowing that difficulties and misfortune were looming on the horizon. Her mission to become an acrobat was about to get much more complicated.


To be continued in part 4.