The circus ring has no one in it but there are some tables with pies and other food items on them.

I walk into the ring with the circus ringmaster. I am doing my best to look smart and efficient in my simple black dress, black gloss belt and knee high black boots. I also have on a black hat with a wide brim. The ringmaster explains that my new job is to keep the ring tidy and clean, as there have been recent problems with the place getting messy. I promise him that I will keep everything clean and neat. The ringmaster then leaves and I ask the audience to tell me if they think there is anything messy about to happen. I also ask if they like my new hat, I strike a few elegant poses then I take off my hat and lay it on one of the tables

Just then the four clowns come into the ring and say hello. I greet them cheerfully. I explain that I have to keep everything neat and clean. They all promise to be good! But soon they are by the food picking up pies and jugs. Each time the audience yells at me and I go to that clown and get him to put the pie down.

But soon the clowns become frustrated and when I ask the lead clown to put a big creamy pie down he says No. The other clowns gather round and watch. In the end I get cross with the lead clown and say 'Give me that pie!' The clown asks the audience if he should give me the pie, they all cheer yes! He asks again and the crowd screams yes. I say 'Give me that pie right now'

The clown swings the pie at my face but I duck and the pie goes right in another clown's face! I shake my finger at the lead clown pointing out the mess on the floor from the pie. Meanwhile the pied clown is picking up another pie! The audience cry out to me but I don't get a chance to stop things the pied clown swings at the lead clown, the pie flies through the air, the lead clown ducks and it hits another clown on the bottom.

After this the situation gets worse with the clowns taking more pies and food to push in each other faces and pour down each other's trousers. I rush around trying to stop this chaos getting more frantic as more mess splatters round the circus ring. But I do stay completely clean, some pies come very close but none get me!

After a few minutes of this I notice my hat on the table it has a blob of cream on it! I let out a scream! The clowns all stop and come over, they are pretty messy by now. I pick up my new hat, point at the blob of cream and scold the clowns for getting it messy as well as everything else. The lead clown says he does not think it is bad but he could make it better! I tell him he does need to make it better.

The clown takes the hat from me and the other three start to distract me by picking pies up and making me tell them off. The clown with my hat puts it down next to a bowl of strawberry pudding. He looks at the pudding and then my upside-down hat. Then he asks the audience 'Shall I?' They cry out that he should! The clown starts to dump large spoonful's of strawberry pudding into my hat getting a cheer each time from the audience. The clown finishes filling the hat; he then tops the strawberry pudding with some spray on whipped cream!

The lead clown comes up behind me while I wag my finger at the other clowns. The clown asks me if I would like to put my hat on while keeping it behind his back. I say I will wear it later. The clown asks the audience if I should wear it now it. The audience shouts yes. I ask them if they really want to see me in it now. So, I say ok!

The clown puts the hat on my head and pushes it down! Strawberry pudding with strips of white cream squirts down all sides of my head, covering most of my hair and face. There are big cheers from the audience. I seem to have gone strangely passive. The clown lifts my hat off which lets everyone see the mess my hair has become.

The clowns turn me sideways to face a table still completely covered in cream pies and a big cream cake. A clown puts his hand on my back and turns to the audience who cheer him on. The clown pushes me and I fall onto the table. My face sinks deep into the cake. My front crushes many cream pies. While I lie bent over the table another clown puts a chair behind me and then puts a huge cream cake on it! Again the audience approve of the clowns plan for me. Slowly two clowns lift up the back of my dress to show my bottom in my black panties then the others pull me back into the chair so that I sit right in the cake!

My front is thickly covered in cream explosions from the pies I laid in, my face is thickly plastered with only a hole where my mouth is. I just about wipe my eyes clear in time for a clown to pour a bucket of custard in my lap, down my legs and over my boots. The audience laugh loudly!

Now the lead clown is back with my hat it is looking a bit battered and it is not helped by now being full of spaghetti in tomato sauce! The clown asks the audience if he should. I weakly shake my head but the audience really want to see me get it! So on my head the hat goes, slimy pasta splattering down me.

Suddenly the clowns hear something and while waving to the happy crowd run off. Just then the ringmaster come back to see the messy ring and me sitting a complete mess in the middle of this. The ringmaster asks me what happened. All I can do is helplessly hold out my hands!