Zoe was excited to be finally starting her comeback journey having been out of the spotlight for almost fifteen years ago since her third single had bombed. She'd been agreed to take part in a reality show where four celebrities shared a house whilst being filmed. She straightened her clothes and smiled as she approached the show house and pressed the doorbell but there was no response.

"Hi, I believe I'm expected" Zoe called out.

Zoe tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. Then she heard the sound of an upper window opening and looked up only to be struck by a deluge of cold baked beans in tomato sauce. Soon both she and her clothes were stained orange. Zoe was totally humiliated by the experience and once the rain of beans finally ended, she took the opportunity to flee.

* * *

Harriet had been hired by the show's producers to investigate who had driven Zoe off and also uncover if any other shenanigans were planned. She would be entering the house that morning masquerading as a former olympic figure skater. Luckily none of the three celebrities present were noted for their interest in sport so hopefully wouldn't be aware of the ruse.

Keeping a wary eye on the upper windows, Harriet carefully approached the front door and pressed on the doorbell as Zoe had. Luckily this time there was no messy event, and the door was opened by someone she recognised from watching TV when she was younger. Iain had been a children's presenter until a gambling scandal had ruined his career.

"You must be our new housemate?" he stated.

"Yes, my name's Harriet" she responded.

Iain stepped back and indicated for Harriet to enter the house and then escorted her to the kitchen where the other two celebrities awaited. The house itself was huge, and Harriet noticed security cameras mounted on the ceilings of all the corridors and rooms which followed them as they made their way throughout it.

Harriet didn't initially recognise Charlotte as she'd changed considerably over the past two years since she been a regular on a soap opera. She'd clearly had some "work" done as her lips looked plumber, nose straighter and chest bigger. Apparently, she'd left the soap to pursue dreams of Hollywood stardom, but film success had eluded her.

"Welcome to our little band" Charlotte said.

The third member of the little band was celebrity chef Tony who true to form was at the stove preparing a prawn linguine. Harriet recalled that he'd run into difficulties some time ago when the tabloids had revealed he'd been having an affair with the wife of one of his major investors. He'd been forced to close his restaurants and been dropped from the television schedules.

"Have a taste" Tony said, offering Harriet a spoonful of linguine.

"Delicious" Harriet acknowledged.

So, these were her suspects: a gambling addict, a failed movie star and a notorious lothario. It could be any one of them although Tony seemed the obvious choice as clearly a chef would have the connections to obtain an industrial quantity of beans. However, Harriet knew not to make any assumptions at this stage of her investigation.

* * *

During the rest of the day Harriet spent time with the celebrities, either together or one-to-one, attempting to learn more about them than had been available via their public biographies. She especially waited for an opportunity to speak with Tony the chef privately and got that later in the day as she was preparing another meal whilst Charlotte and Iain were laying the table.

"So, what's your go to meal?" Tony asked her.

"It's got to be beans on toast" Harriet replied.

Harriet noticed Tony gave an involuntary twitch at her response which she thought suspicious. Maybe her initial thought had been correct, and she'd found her culprit on the first attempt, such things did happen occasionally, but she'd learnt not to trust them. So, she glared at him as if insulted by his reaction and awaiting an apology.

"Oh, nothing wrong with that but I'm allergic to legumes" Tony explained.

That almost certainly ruled him out as a suspect if true. Harriet gave him a sympathetic smile before heading to the dining room to join the others. Charlotte and Iain had finished setting the table and were sitting at it reminiscing about their TV careers for the benefit of the ceiling mounted camera which was recoding them.

Harriet joined them and was interested to learn that Iain had once hosted a show where unsuspecting members of the public were tricked into taking part in humiliating stunts. The show had struggled to find viewers and was cancelled after just one series. Harriet would have liked to hear more but at that moment Tony made his appearance with food in hand.

"Time to eat!" he announced.

As the four of them settled down to enjoy the meal, Harriet decided to focus her attention on Iain. She hadn't known about the prank show but that could explain Zoe's unfortunate experience, maybe he was simply trying to relive some of his former "glory days" Harriet thought. After the meal Iain disappeared as the others were tidying up.

"Where's Iain?" Harriet queried.

"I think he went outside for a smoke" Charlotte said.

Harriet excused herself to go find Iain. She stepped out of the front of the house and looked around, but he was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly the door slammed mysteriously shut behind her and no one responded when she pressed the bell. Then she remembered the side entrance, Harriet clambered over the wooden gate and made her way down the narrow passageway.

Halfway along she felt something strike her head and reached up to feel something wet in her hair. She looked up which proved to be a huge mistake as she saw a mass of orange descending upon her and moments later was showered with baked beans. The sauce soaked into her clothing whilst the soft beans decorated her from head to toe.

"What's happened?" Iain called out.

Harriet wiped the beans from out of her eyes to see Iain standing in the rear garden looking at her with shock evident upon his face. A few minutes later he was joined by Tony and Charlotte and the three of them looked at Harriet in amazement before breaking out into fits of laughter. Harriet ignored them as she passed by them in search of the showers.

* * *

After getting cleaned up as best she could, Harriet pulled out her mobile phone. She gave her assistant Jackie a call to research both Tony's alleged allergy and details of Iain's cancelled show. She'd just finished the call and returned her phone to her bag when there was a gentle knock on the bathroom door and Charlotte popped her head round.

"All washed up dear?" she asked.

"Yes, I'll be out in a minute" Harriet answered.

Charlotte gave her a condescending smile before heading off. Harriet waited to hear Charlotte heading downstairs before quickly stepping into the bedroom overlooking the side passage. She noticed the window was ajar and a quick search of the room uncovered a plastic bucket hidden in the wardrobe. The bucket still showed evidence of tomato sauce upon it.

What was even more interesting was the twelve pack of empty tins Harriet discovered under the bed. The tins weren't labelled but clearly had contained baked beans at some point and turning one of them over Harriet found the embossed logo for a chain of discount supermarkets. Harriet grabbed her phone again.

"Jackie, can you also check up on any commercial relationships" Harriet stated.

Then as she waited for her assistant to get back to her with the requested information, Harriet rechecked her clothing before heading down to rejoin the suspects. She found the three of them in the sitting room chatting about the current state of television. Harriet sat down beside them although had little to contribute to the conversation.

* * *

Later that evening Harriet strode into the lounge with a sense of purpose. Jackie had called back with the answers to her questions and finally she had a good idea who was behind the messy antics and more importantly why. The three celebrities were all seated together on the sofa which made confronting them all at once the best option.

"I'm not a figure skater; I'm a private investigator" Harriet blurted out.

"Are you investigating us?" Iain asked.

Harriet explained that she'd been hired by the show's producers to investigate the messy attack on Zoe and latterly also upon herself. She explained that initially she had suspected Tony with his obvious links to the catering industry but with his allergy, which Jackie had confirmed to be true, that clearly ruled him out.

She stated that Iain had been her next suspect especially when she overheard that he'd once hosted a show where members of the public got messy. But it had been a ratings failure and Iain had sworn never to do such again. More importantly when Harriet had been beaned, he'd been right there in front of her so once again clearly wasn't responsible for the act.

"So, who is to blame then?" Tony asked.

Harriet looked at Charlotte and slowly Tony and Iain followed her gaze. Charlotte appeared innocent but Harriet knew better. It had been Charlotte who had tricked her into going outside and she'd had plenty of opportunity to get Harriet messy before making an appearance later. Of course, it also helped that Jackie had uncovered her secret.

"But why would I do it?" Charlotte questioned.

"Because of your sponsorship deal with a certain supermarket" Harriet responded.

Knowing the game was up, Charlotte made a run for it. Luckily Harriet had been prepared for this and arrange for a little surprise of her own. She chased Charlotte through the house shepherding her towards the rear of the property. As Charlotte fled through the french doors she was confronted by an eight-foot diameter inflatable pool half filled with baked beans.

Before Charlotte could react, Harriet pushed her into the pool. Beans went flying everywhere as the former soap actress flopped into the mess and disappeared from view. She emerged moments later covered in haricot beans and tomato sauce which provoked a chuckle from Harriet. Charlotte was less than amused by her predicament and immediately sought to escape the pool.

Harriet reacted before thinking and dived at Charlotte knocking her back down into the beans. The pair thrashed around in the pool, getting very messy in the process, before Harriet got the underhand due to her prior wrestling experience. Charlotte surrendered and dragged herself to the edge of the pool.

"I hate fucking baked beans!" she declared.

By this time not only had Tony and Iain joined them outside but also most of the production crew of the show. A couple of them had even been filming the fight and more importantly Charlotte's utterance at the end. That meant not only had Harriet solved the case but hopefully the supermarket chain wouldn't be able to use the incidents for their PR.

* * *

The following day Harriet dedicated her latest case to her assistant Jackie who wrote it up for the records. This included both being deluged in beans from above and diving into a pool of beans to tackle Charlotte. Ordinarily Harriet would have preferred not to document her own misfortunes, but she needed to do so for the expense claim.

"I can't imagine what that must felt like" Jackie stated.

"No need to imagine" Harriet responded.

And with that Harriet pulled out an opened tin of baked beans she'd hidden at the rear of her desk and upended it over her poor assistant. Jackie cringed as her world, and most of her clothing, turned orange. As the cascade came to an end, Harriet tapped the can to release the last few beans before returning to work leaving Jackie to clean herself up.

The end.