Full Disclosure: I got "busted" last night only hours after posting the last story. Apparently the husband of one of the business ladies is on UMD as well so I will be as vague about identifying names and locations as possible, okay Scott? And yes, I know we're middle aged now and your wife's a teacher and doesn't need the notoriety, but I don't need hysterical phone calls from my ex at 1030p.m. either, okay? Touche douchebag!

After the hot tub incident, the women's independent sales group really cooled it with their business meetings. Instead of the members hosting at their homes, they pretty much stuck to a rented room at a regional business and conference center hotel in a nearby city. The only exception was during the summer when a regional cosmetics sales coordinator invited a number of similar groups to her home for a cookout and pool party, hoping to promote her product line. Even that event was pretty vanilla considering the number of people there, but a few did take to the pool to escape the heat wearing what they came in. But it was mostly shorts and t-shirts, a couple sun dresses, and of course Jocelyn in her always present spandex jeans and a tube top. After that, the schedule was the same - 10 a.m. on the second Sunday of the month, same hotel, same room.
When Suzy came home from the November meeting, I found her studying the calendar. "Are you around the weekend after Thanksgiving?" she asked. "Ya, why?" was my response. "A lady from the Metro-Regional Realtors Association came in today and asked us to coordinate our meeting with theirs and a bunch of other business groups. They're going to do a holiday party with a benefit for a couple charities. There's a speaker coming to do a presentation for women in these small independent businesses, and a couple other presentations we'd like to attend. I know it's not for you, but there's a dinner and a comedy show that night that's part of the package, and the rooms are half price. I figured it would be a good getaway for us." "I'm in." I responded, and nothing else was said until the scheduled day arrived.
As I was throwing a few things in a bag for the overnight stay, she smiled and said "I pretty much packed for you, just grab some underwear and something to sleep in." I didn't get to even ask until I saw the bag she had packed. "For an overnight?" I said as I unzipped it to check it out. "Something like that" she said. As I flipped it open I saw that it was fully packed with not only our usual stuff, but a full assortment of our ski clothes. "WTF? I said, are we going skiing?" "Nope, swimming, for Santa's plunge. Remember the 20 bucks I asked you for? That's your pledge. Our team raised over 3 grand. Depending how much your team gets, you get to jump in the pool in costume in order, highest team first. I think we're fifth or sixth and we decided to be a ski team since that's one of the things we all have in common. Just go with it - you get to swim with your clothes on with a bunch of women and nobody's going to get any funny looks! Just drag this stuff out to the car."
Off we went and 45 minutes later we were in our room. "Just casual for now" she told me. "We'll dress up when they give us the nod, but I've got a meeting and that speaker first." and off she went.
I spent the morning in the room watching TV, and around noon went to the bar for a burger and ended up staying to watch a football game, in what was, so far, a pretty uneventful day. Plenty of women were coming and going from the business and conference rooms, and a few guys, probably husbands or boyfriends were seemingly hanging around killing time like I was. Around 3 p.m. she found me. "I hope you're not drinking" was her first comment, "We've got a busy night ahead." "Nope, just soda" I told her. "Good, let's change, everything starts in an hour". So off to the room we went and out came the clothes. As she sorted out and stacked the contents of the bag, I asked her if we were going to ski in the arctic. "Um, maybe it was a little overkill" she answered as she smiled at me. "Just go with it, we'll be fine". As I stripped out of my street clothes, I watched her dress as if we were going to the slopes in January. First the shiny spandex ski tights, then a thin ribbed grey turtleneck sweater, she pulled on a pair of high-waist jeans, and topped it with a tight-fitting navy blue crew neck sweater. "Enough for now" she said as she picked up a nylon shell jacket, a hat and tied the sleeves of a thick ribbed black turtleneck around her neck. "I don't want to sweat until I have to, let's go!". Heading for the door, I was dressed in faded jeans over my running tights, and had on the white cotton turtleneck and black crew neck sweater she had packed for me. Like her, I grabbed my thick ribbed black turtleneck and ski shell and hat. Already a bit warm, I thanked her for not packing the ski pants. "I was going to but I figured we were good" she said.
Down the hall we went to a common area where everyone was gathering and heading in to a conference room. It was obvious as to who belonged to each group by the way they were dressed. At least a dozen realtors, both men and women, were in the same Dockers, dark green turtlenecks, and gold blazers with the company logo on the pocket. A cosmetic sales group numbering about the same had on black dress pants and various signature pink sweaters over white turtlenecks. A group representing the independent attornies in the area, both men and women, were in black pants, white shirts and matching neckties. There was a fairly large group of insurance associates that were all affiliated with an Irish surname firm in the region and they were all dressed alike in jeans, identical scally caps, and Irish fishermans sweaters over Kelly green turtlenecks. Suzy nudged me with her elbow and nodded to a couple women with the group, standing near the wall. "They're thinking like us" she said and I noticed that they both were wearing dark green crew neck sweaters over their kelly green turtlenecks and had the fishermans sweaters tied around their necks. She told me "I've seen that redhead in the pool with her kids before. They were in bathing suits but twice I've seen her just go in with what she was wearing. I think they come out here from Boston on the weekend to attend her meetings and stay over." I checked them out, and she and her friend weren't bad looking for mid-forties and having a couple kids. Both were bigger girls, but they had the right curves in the right places! I guessed, and later found out correctly so, that they were looking forward to getting wet.
And there were others, small groups of 5 or less, different apparel, and even individuals in what could only be described as "ugly Christmas sweaters". We got together with our group and checked out the scene. As each group gathered, they went by a check-in table and then into the hall. With a quick head count, we followed suit with Jocelyn leading the way. We found our seats as directed and got comfortable. Within 20 minutes the speaker took to the floor and announced that almost $30k had been pledged, and called up the teams starting with the highest first. The lawyers, the insurance folks, the pink clad ladies, a group representing auto parts dealers, and then us. As they were called, each team dressed, or finished dressing and took the stage for their quick recognition. As we stood up, Karen noticed that while everyone matched in jeans and black sweaters, the jackets were different, so she decided that we'd forgo wearing them, much to the relief of all of us bundled in layers and starting to sweat. Roughly a half hour passed until all the individual members were also recognized for their pledges and in my mind, the numbers still didn't add up. That changed moments later when the speaker glanced at the door and announced that the local area nurses had arrived with their pledge. As they entered the room she announced that every nurse in the area, in every medical facility had donated one "shift" to the charity, totalling almost $12k dollars. In they came, single file and a class act it was. Every one of them was dressed in tight fitting jeans and their tops were color-coded. The oncology nurses wore pinks sweaters and turtlenecks, the major surgery group was in light blue with the tops of their scrubs over them, radiology wore yellow sweaters over black turtlenecks, a group of nurse administrators wore green turtlenecks matching the color of the logo of the medical group, and the emergency room nurses all showed up in bright red. Each sub-group was announced, along with their contribution and they stepped back against the wall. The speaker gave a final thanks to everyone and just before she was finished one of the nurses shouted out "Let's get wet!" which was met by cheers from everyone.
As set of double doors was opened by the hotel staff and the groups were directed to the pool area one at a time. We followed and soon discovered that the local TV stations were set up there, as was a pile of more towels than I had ever seen in one place. With a thumbs up from the hotel staff, the speaker announced that things would start, and as she tried to explain an orderly plan, one of the nurses let out a scream and dove into the pool, surfacing and holding up 1 finger shouting "Nurses number one!". "Well, that wasn't the plan" said the speaker, "but I suppose we can start with the nurses since they really were the largest contributor." "Nurses come on down" she said, pointing to the diving board. Lined up single file by group, they took to the board, and many, with a shriek, or a fancy dive entered the water. The plan was to jump in, get out, towel off as best you could, and cheer the rest on, but only a few got out. The rest moved to the sides and took up their cheering position. The lawyers went in next, followed by the insurance folks. We watched as the two women we saw earlier pulled on their fishermans sweaters and pulled up and adjusted the necks. One at a time, in they went, some reluctantly, until it came to these two. The smiles on their faces gave them away as they entered the water, and when they surfaced, swimming together and finding a spot in almost chin deep water. The pink ladies were next, and every one of them made an exaggerated catwalk trip down the board and off the end, each cheering on the next one until they were all in the water and congregated together. "Damn it, move", we heard Jocelyn mutter under her breath. "What's your problem?" asked Karen "Gotta pee" was the response. At that, Suzy reached over and gave my hand a squeeze and the look said "Me too". Finally, it was our turn and Karen was the first, popping to the surface and urging Lisa on, then Dierdre, and finally Jocelyn who was dancing in place. "About time" she said as she mounted the board. My hand got another squeeze from Suzy as she nodded at her friend and smiled. I caught on in a second as I watched the rear of her jeans slowly darken all the way to her ankles. I smiled at Suzy and we looked around, realizing that but for a couple of us on the same team, no one else could see anything. "Me too!" she said with a smile, "We dared each other". "Really?" I asked. "Ya, and I dare you too. Double dog dare you, and you know what that means." I bent down and whispered in her ear "I could think of better places", and she just smiled and said "Later" as she stepped up on the board. She hadn't been kidding when after her first slow step down the board I watched her jeans darken. Into the water she went and surfaced close by, and before I even stepped up, Jocelyn was next to her in a few strokes and they were talking quietly into each others ears and laughing. I knew what it was so as I stepped up on the board, I slowly relaxed and felt the warmth as it increased with each step. At the end of the board, I bent at the waist and asked them both "You happy now" and received 2 big smiles and 2 thumbs up as I continued to bend and finish my dive into the pool. I surfaced and joined them and we moved closer to our group. A little more than waist deep in the water now, we all milled around cheered in support as each group or individual took to the board. A couple times, we;d venture into deeper water and then return to our spot to cheer on more.
Now, and observation here in this somewhat lengthy tome. My wife and I were always looking for an opportunity to get wet, and usually in secluded spots or at home. And here we are, in our favorite outfits, soaking wet, in the middle of our group of 10, all dressed the same, all for the most part enjoying the same thing. And we are in the middle of a legitimate party with maybe a dozen guys and about three times as many women, who are all doing the same thing, many of them very obviously enjoying it! as Suzy pointed out as her hand rubbed across the front of my jeans, "It's a good thing you have that spandex on under those tight jeans or it would be tent city!"
Finally, as the last of the contributors entered the pool, the speaker thanked everyone for coming and stepped away from the podium. Then she shocked us all as the room burst into applause. While she was a good looking woman of at least 65 and well spoken, with a sarcastic sense of humor, we never anticipated her next move. Dressed in smart business suit, a grey skirt and matching blazer over a black turtleneck sweater with several gold necklaces, black high heels, nylons and her hair just so, she walked right up to and across the board and dove head first into the pool. As she surfaced near the corner where the TV news crew was set up, the cute blonde 20-something reporter jumped in fully dressed as well, feigning conducting an interview!
Within minutes, a dozen or more hotel staff surrounded the pool, helping people out, handing out towels, thanking everyone, and telling us that if we were guests, to leave our wet clothes outside the door in a plastic bag and they would be laundered and returned to us within 2 hrs.
Suzy and I got out and toweled off as best we could but were lucky enough to see Jocelyn decide to take another fully-clothed dive into the pool, followed by a couple nurses and the two girls in the Irish sweaters. As they swam around a bit with smiles on their faces, we headed to the room for a fully clothed shower and a quickie, where she begged me to give her a facial, which I gladly did.
As instructed, our clothes went into a plastic bag and out into the hall, they were gone 15 minutes later when we emerged on our way to dinner.
The ballroom was packed when we arrived, cocktails and appetizers were already being served, and we joined our group at the table. We all pretty much kidded about the earlier part of the day, but most of the discussion was actually business related. Close to 7 p.m. everyone was seated and the speaker, the lady who was the last into the pool had a few comments and thanks to give out, particularly to the staff for cleaning up the mess! Then a screen was lowered from the ceiling and the local news was projected onto it - and we got to view our afternoon fiasco, repleted with reported commentaries and interviews with the charities who were receiving the money, and some of our own members emerging from the pool to be interviewed (which we found out happened after everyone left, they went back in at the request of the reporter so she could get some footage). Finally the soaking wet reporter closed out the spot, still dripping from her dip.
That recharged the whole crowd and there was talk of a repeat the following year, as well as doing pretty much the same thing for St Patricks Day to support another charity which did a dip in a local lake. We heard the girls from the Irish surname insurance company clearly state that they were doing the St. Patricks Day event and ask who else was going to join them. Several people in the same group said they would, and several asked about water temperature that time of year. Suzy nudged me under the table and smiled, and before we could say anything Jocelyn leaned over to one of the girls and volunteered us, and herself, and with a smirk saying "Those two love swimming in their clothes!". I guess she was shocked when the red head replied to her "So do I", which was followed by a sharp kick to my shins by Suzy before I could say anything. Jocelyn had a puzzled look on her face as I winced with the pain and Suzy said to her "Don't start anything!" and suddenly Jocelyn smiled.
Not much more was said about the whole thing through dinner, dessert, or coffee afterwards. The tables were bused and moved and a DJ began his routine. People danced to the various songs of their liking and some apparently were saying their goodbyes and heading out. We pretty much stayed in our small group and had a few drinks and danced and talked about myriad subjects. At some point we noticed that Jocelyn had left, and someone suggested that she had just gone to the ladies room, when within seconds, she reemerged dressed in her clothes from earlier in the day. "Laundry's done!" she announced with a smile. She went straight to the bar and got a drink and returned to join us. "What are you, cold or something?" one of the girls asked her. "Maybe" she said, followed with a laugh by "Or maybe I'm going swimming again, you won't know until it happens, now will you?" I looked at Suzy and her eyes met mine and she said "No!" before I could say anything. "Why not?" I asked, and before she could answer, the red head and her friend walked by, looked at Jocelyn and said "You were serious?". "Yup!" she replied," you coming?" They looked at each other and the brunette said "Back in 10-15" as they walked away. Now I really looked hard at Suzy and so did Jocelyn, and neither of us said a word. After a minute, she put her head down, lifted it up and smiled "Okay, I guess so" she said and we were off to change. By the time we got back, we were told we had to wait for a few others. Between Jocelyn and the two other girls, they had recruited another half dozen to join us, including the nurse who was the first one into the pool earlier. We headed down to the pool only to find the door locked, and had to cajole one of the staff to open it up, promising that we wouldn't make a mess.
Off came the shoes and in we went, most of us opting to get wet slowly by walking down the stairs until we were waist deep in the shallow end. Then it was talk, move a little deeper, maybe splash each other a bit, and move deeper, until we were about armpit deep, and then we started to float, swim, and tread water. There was some banter back and forth we kidded each other about being freaks, swimming with clothes on and actually enjoying it. As we laughed at each other and hurled insults back and forth, the door opened and in came the older lady who was the speaker that day. She reminded us that her name was Katherine and she owned an insurance agency. Then she asked us why we were in the pool with our clothes on when the benefit was over. Amid the stammering and stuttering, the nurse looked at her and asked her "Why did you change your clothes before you came in here?" I hadn't noticed until then, and I don't think anyone else did either, but she had shed her conservative skirt and jacket business suit and was in a pair of cranberry colored corduroys and a thick grey turtleneck sweater with several gold chains around her neck. She smiled without a word and walked to the shallow end of the pool, kicked off her shoes and stepped down onto the first step, said "It's a little chilly" and then down the next two, thigh deep, anticipating the final step. In a moment she took the next step, ending up slightly over her waist, the hem of her sweater now in the water. With her arms extended out to her sides, she slowly walked toward the deep end as water inched up her body and splashing higher on her sweater until as she neared us, her breasts and her gold chains, were underwater. Maybe 15 feet away from us, she stopped, took a breath, and her arms shot forward as she lifted her feet and in three quick strokes, she settled in with the rest of us, standing in what for her was chin-deep water. She bounced on her toes to keep her mouth out of the water as she spoke, and at one point her hands shot up around her neck as she reached inside her sweater and turned up the collar of the thin ribbed white one underneath, followed by her going to each wrist and rolling back the cuffs to reveal the white sleeves underneath. "This isn't my first rodeo" she said. "I've been doing benefits like this for years, and this is mild compared to some of the stuff we've done!" " I didn't plan on this afternoon, but the last minute urge got me and I had to jump in, even those aren't the best clothes for it. When the staff told me you guys were out here tonight, I thought, after all the work and aggravation I went through to pull this thing off, it's my turn to relax!" With that, she swam to the side ladder, got out, and went to the diving board, with two bounces diving straight down into the pool. She popped up near us and said "I've swum in my clothes since I was in college, that's how we built endurance for the swim team" and climbed back out for another almost perfect dive. For more than a half hour, we joined her from the board, doing the best we could to dive, or just bombing people already in the water. Finally just before midnight, we called it and slogged our way to our rooms. As we passed the desk, wondering what they might say, the girl there said "Excuse me" and with a smile held up the same plastic bags that we had earlier. After another fully clothed shower complete with a fully clothed shampoo to each other, we put the clothes in the bag, dropped it in the hall, and went to bed.
Not surprisingly, when I went out for coffee at 6 a.m., they were already clean dry and waiting for us. Talk about service!
to be continued)