Gunk the Hunk at Christmas: Intro and The Vote GameStory by swimgunkPosted 10/30/22 970 views
I enjoyed writing the short Gunk the Hunk series earlier this year so I thought I would continue it with an additional character and a new setting: Christmas!
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I had just put the last plate on the drying rack when my phone went ping. I saw that the message was from Steve. "Would two weeks on Sunday work for you?"
Since I first visited Gunk the Hunk eight months ago, Steve and I occasionally messaged. Once we knew the show had done well, we started chats about me coming back for another show. I had little hesitation: it was good money and I had a lot of fun last time.
"That's a good day for me."
"Brilliant. And are you still happy for it to be our Christmas show with someone else?"
Steve had already told me he wanted to do a show where I would go head-to-head against someone else. I thought that sounded cool, and perhaps gave me a chance to avoid the odd gunging.
Two weeks quickly passed and I soon found myself knocking on a familiar door. A few moments passed before Steve welcomed me in. He offered the customary tea as I walked into the kitchen. Unlike last time, another man stood there. "Hi, I'm Jack."
"I'm Hudson, nice to finally meet you," I said, shaking his hand. He was a handsome guy, with large but not huge biceps, a chiselled jawline and a nice, wavy haircut. I did have a brief look online at his show before coming, mainly to see what he looked like. "How many times have you done this show, Jack?" I asked once we were all sat down with our teas.
"This is only my second time, like you, I believe. But I had a good laugh last time so I'm looking forward to it again."
"Jack came in the middle of summer and it was a boiling hot day," added Steve.
"Yeah, to be honest, I was grateful for the slime to cool me down," Jack chuckled. "What did Steve get you to do in your first show?" he asked me.
"I got gunked in the tank many, many times. I wore a sailor outfit at one point which was quite fun whilst getting pelted at with water. Did you wear any fancy dress?"
"I did! I dressed up as a prince and did a game about saving a princess, but I failed and got very messy. I seem to remember beans played a part in that," Jack said, grinning at Steve.
"Oh I remember having beans," I said. "You even mixed them up in a bucket with custard, mashed potato and other stuff, didn't you?!" I said to Steve.
"I did, yes. This sort of brings me to why I've invited you both back. I try to release two series of shows every year, one in March and one in September. Hudson, yours was the best-selling of the first series this year, and Jack, yours was the best-selling of the second run. So, I thought I'd pit you up against each other in our final Christmas episode this year."
"Very good," Jack said. "What can we expect?"
"Same process as last time largely. There'll be 5 segments. At least one of you two will get messy in each one. I've set up two bathrooms for you guys to use. Hudson, you'll be upstairs if that's ok? Jack, you'll use the same one as last time." I nodded my approval. "In terms of mess, it's the final episode of the year and it's the one that typically sells the bestso expect a lot of mess and a lot of whacky outfits."
"Well, we already know one!" I added. Steve and Jack both giggled. As part of the online countdown to this shoot, Steve had set up a vote for viewers. "Remind me, what is the first thing we're doing?"
"Viewers have voted one of you to get the first gunging of the day. And you'll be getting tanked in a pair of candy cane coloured swim briefs."
"Ha ha, there's no easing into it today then," exclaimed Jack.
"None at all. The main reason I do a vote is to drum up interest in the show before we release it, which is quite easy when viewers recognise the contestants. Now, fans will be desperate to know who got gunked first."
Jack and I both looked at each other smilingly. "Looks like we're going to get a bit competitive," I said.
"I think so!" Jack said.
After we finished our tea, Steve led us both downstairs. "Do we not need to change into anything first?" I asked.
"Nope. I want it to look like you've just come in, through the door and onto the set. And then, whoever has lost will pop upstairs to change."
The basement looked largely the same as before, except for the tinsel that had been put up. Being back down there brought back memories of being pied and slopped the last time. The tank looked as menacing as ever. Steve had already set out the briefs on a stool in the middle of the room, right in front of the tank.
"They're smaller than I was expecting!" said Jack. "Will barely cover my arse."
"I don't think the fans will be complaining about that," Steve joked. "And you might not be wearing them."
Steve directed Jack to stand to the right of the stool and I stood to the left. He then adjusted the camera to get the right frame. "A lot of this I seem to remember," Jack said. "I don't tend to do filming jobs generally."
"I haven't done tonnes. The odd bit here and there," I replied.
"Alright boys, if you could both turn slightly more towards the camera and we'll be good to go." We both obliged and Steve checked the angle one last time before pressing record.
"Welcome to our Christmas special of Gunk the Hunk. We have two fan favourites here today to mark the occasion, it's Hudson and Jack." We both promptly gave a little wave as Steve continued his introductions. I concentrated on smiling and looking natural for the camera, not paying much attention to what Steve was saying. "But before we go into any games, we have a small matter of those small briefs. In the last two weeks, fans have been voting for who they want to get gunked immediately in those candy cane briefs. Jack, why do you think they might have voted for you and why should they have voted for Hudson?"
"I truly wouldn't know why anyone would want to see me get gunged. I've never done anything wrong in my life. I'm a good boy." I could see Jack's playful side coming out, which was great because it meant the show would be much better. I knew I had to step up to his banter throughout the day. "On the other hand, look at Hudson. He's a good-looking man, he's clearly broken a few hearts in his time. That's why you should've voted for him."
"Hudson, same questions to you."
I looked directly at the camera. "Boys, girls. Look at me. I got gunked so many times when I was last here. I know I look good when I'm messy, but I hope you haven't voted for me. It's my ultimate dream to be able to escape a game here clean. Jack has no ambitions for that, or he hasn't said it! Let him get gunked instead."
"Fighting talk! I like it," Steve said. Jack and I both looked at each other and laughed. "Ok, well, I can revealthat the hunk going straight into the tankin the briefsis." Jack and I started playfully chewing our fingernails, feigning nervousness. However, I was a little bit nervous. There's always a strange anticipation of getting gunged that's hard to explain. "Hudson!"
I held my head in my hands. "Noooo!" I shouted. Jack was cheering and blowing kisses to the camera, repeatedly thanking the viewers that would be watching.
"Hudson, how do you feel?" Steve asked.
"Not great. I really wanted to escape a gunging!"
"Does it make you feel any better if I said it was close? 54% to you."
"Ooooh," Jack murmured. "That's so close."
"I mean, I suppose a little bit better, yeah," I said. "It means there's still plenty of people that want to see you slimed, mate," I said to Jack.
"Clearly, but not quite as many as you" he laughed.
"So Hudson," Steve said, "please can you take the briefs, get changed and come back down into the tank."
Walking up to my bathroom, holding the briefs in my hand, I wondered what on earth originally possessed me to say yes to being gunged. I was about to wear barely anything and be humiliated. But then I laughed. Life's too short and this is a fun day's work.
The upstairs bathroom was a bit bigger, but Steve had set up things in a similar fashion to before. Several closed clothes packages in the corner, and a bucket to dump any used clothes into. I stripped out of my clothes and popped the briefs on. I looked pretty good in them, but Jack was right, it did barely cover my bum.
I walked back down into the basement, where Steve had rearranged the camera to be directly in front of the tank and Jack was waiting with the button that unleashed the gunge. "Looking good mate," Jack cheered.
"I'll start recording, and then I want the shot to be you walking into the tank. If you can give us a little narration about how you're feeling, that would be great. Feel free to taunt a little bit, Jack, or ask a few questions."
Steve hit record and I started to walk over. "Back in here again! I'm so gutted that I'm in here and you're not, Jack."
"I'm not!" he laughed. "Much rather you sat there. I spent ages on my hair this morning."
"So did I!" I said as I sat down on the stool in the tank. "Oh, I remember this view, the camera in front of me, the gunge above me. Let me double-check that I'm actually under the hole."
"8%. All it came down to."
"I know! I'll get my revenge later, don't you worry."
"Alright boys, the time has come. It's time to kick off our Messy Christmas show in style. Jack, I think you know what to say."
"I do," he said. "It's time to GUNK THE HUNK!"
He hit the button and I suddenly started getting doused in gunge. I didn't realise how much I missed getting gunged. It was warm, so I didn't mind slightly looking up into it, coating my face. I felt the slime covering most of my body, and the front of the briefs became soaked in no time. I could hear Jack laughing just outside the tank, and I began laughing too.
I wiped my eyes and looked down. I looked like a candy cane myself, as the gunge was red mixed with white. "Wow, I am absolutely covered."
Jack couldn't stop laughing. "Oh man, I know it's going to happen to me at some point today, but I'm so glad you got that big one first." He lent me his hand for a high five which I greeted with a splattering enthusiasm. "Haha, you've got some on me now!"
"Hey, quit your moaning!" I said jokingly.
"So Jack," Steve interrupted, "this means that after the first game today, you lead with one point." Jack let a whoop. "Over the course of the next three games, you'll battle it out to have the advantage in the final, messy, Christmas game. And if you thought that was a big gunging, you have no idea what else I have in store for you both."
"Jack," I said, "you might have got the advantage in the first game, but I'm going to claw it back. Next game, you'll be sat in here, I promise you!"
"So much fighting talk!" Steve said and Jack laughed. Steve stopped the recording and started taking obligatory photos of a messy me that he could use as promotional pictures. The amount of gunge that fell on me was so much that I was still dripping by the time he took the photos.
As I started to get rid of some of the excess gunge on my body, Jack asked me how the gunging rated amongst the others I'd already had. "Well, I've never looked like a human candy cane before! But it was warm, thankfully, and I think it looked good."
"I'm very happy with that opening," Steve said. "Once you've cleaned up as much as you can down here, Hudson, you can pop up and get showered and changed. Jack, you can follow and get changed into your first outfit of the day."
"I always get a bit nervous opening those packages, don't you?" Jack said to me.
"A little, but then, I know what I put my boundaries at. The only way I could wear less than I currently am is if I wear a mankini or a thong or something."
"Well, here's hoping," Steve said, cheekily with a wink.