It was the autumn of 1995 and I was in the club rehearsing for my upcoming Saturday night performance. The club was closed to the public on a Wednesday and there were just a handful of guys with me, running through Saturday's schedule. They included members of the stage crew, our DJ and two of the bar staff.

I rarely got messy during rehearsals, unless we were testing out the gunge tank or trying out something new. I felt that we needed to shake things up so that the clubbers did not get bored and had some new ideas. Management gave me a free reign over what I did as long as it brought the punters in, which so far had been very successful. Each week the numbers increased and my own messy version of Take That's classic "Do what you Like" had gone down a storm.

The format which was tried and tested was to me becoming a bit predictable. I came up with an fresh idea which at first raised some doubt; someone else would get messy in my place. The crew looked baffled until I explained the whole scenario. What could be hotter than to increase the tension and tease the audience with a question mark over whether I got messed up or not?! They would not be expecting that and we could have several weeks where I stayed clean so that the audience got used to it. I wanted to recreate the feeling of shock and exhilaration which I experienced the first time I got gunged on stage. The element of surprise, the not knowing whether I would get it or not, really appealed to me.

My plan for Saturday was to appear on stage as usual so the audience could see me and what I was wearing. Then the lights would go down and they would next see me in silhouette behind a white screen. I would then be gunged whilst still behind the screen. A bucket would be placed over my head and as the screen retracted the audience would get to see me in my messed -up outfit. What they would not realize, however, was that the guy they saw being gunged behind the screen was in fact somebody else! They would be similar height and build to myself and would be dressed in the same outfit I wore when I initially appeared on stage. Throughout the evening my stand-in would receive several heavy gungings and would be plastered in custard pies. The audience would be none the wiser, thinking that I was the one under all the layers of slop. At the end of the evening my double would be sat on a bar stool, centre stage, dripping in goo, totally unrecognizable. The DJ would then announce, " Well, you wanted to see him get it and just look at the state of him, plastered from head to toe in pies and treated to several gungings, can the poor guy get any messier?!! Give it up for Steve, our sexy stooge! " At this point I casually walk onto the stage in my outfit, which is still clean and tap the DJ on the shoulder. He would be as surprised as the audience at the fact it wasn't me covered in gunge and the identity of the mystery guy would be revealed. All I needed was somebody to play me and I had the perfect candidate in one of the bar staff, who not only had the same hairstyle as myself, but was my height and slim in his build. His name was James and like myself he was hairy, the difference being I shaved my chest, whereas he didn't. James was often at rehearsals and I knew he was single and gay. He used to crack jokes and fool around, but several times I caught him staring at me, especially when I had my clothes off.

When I asked James if he would stand in for me he got very excited and didn't hesitate to say yes. Unlike some of his fellow work colleagues, he had never joined in my act and had not got messy before. For a novice he was strangely enthusiastic about getting gunged and wanted to do a full run through before Saturday with all the mess! The stage crew were not keen and said it was sufficient just to pretend for now. I could tell he was disappointed and didn't want to put him off, especially as he would be key to the success of my plan.

After several run throughs everyone was confident about the set-up for Saturday night and James said he was really looking forward to it. At 10pm we were ready to leave, when James said he wanted to talk to me about some ideas he had for the show. It didn't seem fair on the others to have to wait around so James and I stayed behind and offered to lock up later. I was keen to hear what he had to say now that we were alone.

We had the whole club to ourselves. It was a huge building with several floors. I would not have wanted to be there on my own though as it was an old building and could be creepy after dark. James told me how much he loved watching me perform and confessed that he had a permanent boner watching me get messy. He was flattered and turned on that I had asked him to play me. I loved his enthusiasm and felt bad that he couldn't get messy in rehearsals.

" I am sorry they wouldn't let you get messy tonight. To be honest I was quite looking forward to it" I confessed. James smiled and said " why do you think I asked you to stay behind?" He had a mischievous look in his eyes and I felt my pulse quicken. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen. I had a feeling he had plans for us.

James took me to a large refrigerator and opened the door. It was stocked with gateaux, trifle and cream pies in readiness for Saturday night. "Why wait until the weekend to have some fun?" he grinned as he took out a cream pie and handed it to me. " I didn't bring a change of clothes tonight," I confessed. " Neither did I, but who said anything about wearing clothes?" he said, removing his T-shirt. He stripped down to his white Aussiebums and I noticed he had a hard-on. I got undressed and stood in just my briefs staring at him. James was much hairier than myself, particularly his legs and torso. Whereas I shaved my armpits, his were naturally hairy. Like me James had brown hair, but had bleached it blonde. He was more toned than I was and even though we both had six packs, he was proper ripped. He was sexy as fuck and my mouth ran dry. I felt my cock instantly stiffen and I was already producing pre-cum. He sat on a bar stool and licked his lips. " I fancy some pie," he smirked. I picked up a large flan and hurled it at him. It was the perfect aim and hit him in the face. " Right in the kisser, just how I like it." he said, wiping cream out of his eyes. I proceeded to flan him all over and he just sat there and took it like the stooge he was. I enjoyed rubbing pie into his hairy chest and he was just laughing the whole time. He stood up and removed his undies, revealing the hairiest arse I had ever seen. He had a full bush of dark brown pubes surrounding his ample sized cock. I also removed my underwear and stood stroking my erect cock. He picked up a pie and smashed it into his crotch, sending cream flying in all directions. I couldn't resist any longer and pied his bare arse, rubbing it into his hairy crack. Now he was completely covered from head to toe and I wanted to lick him all over. He made the first move and began kissing me. In the process I got cream all in my face and hair, but I didn't care, I just wanted him. " You know what I like," I whispered in his ear. He smiled and walked casually over to the fridge. He picked up a chocolate gateau. Seconds later he pushed my head deep into it and chocolate cream went up my nose. I was a real mess and spluttered from the impact. James didn't stop there and soon I was smothered in cream pies and trifle. I loved every minute of my messy humiliation.

We rolled about on the floor, naked and covered in creamy slop. We enjoyed a messy 69 and rimmed each other's hairy holes." Fuck me, you know you want to," I said getting on all fours. He got behind me and I felt him enter me. My heart was pounding as he slowly thrust into me. He rubbed pie into my face as he fucked me. The sex was amazing and I couldn't get enough of him, even after he came inside me. We had made an absolute mess and were wearing the entire contents of the fridge. " We are going to be in so much trouble," I said. James just laughed and dragged his hands through his his gungy hair. We made our way to the staff showers and cleaned ourselves up. He looked so sexy as he stood under the shower, completely soaked. I kissed him and he became hard again. The second time around was even more intense and we enjoyed a slow, steamy fuck. I shot my load as he climaxed inside me.

It took ages to clean up the kitchen as cream and custard were splattered everywhere following our messy antics. It was after midnight when we finally left the club. That Saturday, James took my place and was heavily pied and gunged for his sins. The audience thought it was me getting it. They went crazy when I appeared on stage, still clean, and realized they had been played. I must admit it felt weird not to be the one getting messed up. James was the real star of the night and he loved it. " See you at rehearsals, " he winked at me as he left.