Marcus, the quiz show host, came down the steps in the middle of the stage in his bright, sparkly suit.

"Good evening everyone and welcome to 'Don't Mess Around With Me'!"

The audience was cheering and clapping along to the theme tune. They had volunteered themselves to be potential contestants in a new pilot for a TV show where, in different rounds, some of them could potentially get very messed up.

"So, for our first round tonight, we need two contestants..." Marcus announced. As he did this, a screen at the back of the stage started spinning through various names of people in the audience like a slot machine. It continued to spin until it gradually got slower and slower.

"And our first contestant is...OSCAR!"

Oscar, who was sitting near the back of the audience, looked shocked as the camera zoomed in on his face. He had hoped only those sat on the aisle near the front would be picked, but now he found himself walking down to the main stage, anticipating getting very, very messy.

"Alright, so we have our first contestant" Marcus continued, "but let's see who he's up against. Spin the wheel again!"

The slot machine spun around once more and the whole audience stared in anticipation. You could see a few people point out their name as it streamed past the screen, but then, all too quickly, it landed on one name.

"Christian! You're our second contestant so it's time for you to come on down!"

Christian was sat on the aisle, and secretly hoped he would get on stage. He was young, well-built and had a cheeky smile.

Both men stood on the stage on either side of Marcus. The host turned to Oscar, who was scratching his blonde, curly hair out of nervousness, and gave him a grin only a cheesy television presenter could give.

"So Oscar, tell me a little about yourself."

"Well, I'm Oscar, I'm 28 years old and I'm an accountant from Milton Keynes."

"An accountant...are you hoping to spice up your reputation tonight?"

The truth was that Oscar had turned up to this recording with a few mates, one of whom knew a producer and suggested this as a favour to them. He didn't really know what he was getting himself into, but he did want to push his boundaries a bit.

"If I can try something new tonight, I'll be happy no matter what" Oscar responded.

"And what about you Christian, what can you tell us about yourself."

The mannerisms and attitude of Christian couldn't be more different. He stepped forward, looked directly at the camera and declared "I'm Christian, I'm 22 and I'm an assistant store manager at a clothes store",

Christian's interest in fashion couldn't be mistaken - he was wearing a very nice, loose-fitting shirt, beige chinos and the latest Timberlands. Contrasting Oscar, who was wearing a blue t-shirt and some jeans, the two couldn't look further apart.

"Alright, it looks like we've got a game tonight ladies and gentlemen!"

The audience applauded as Marcus led Oscar and Christian over to a side stage at the edge of the studio.

"The challenge for you both tonight is called 'The Six Degrees of Devastation." The audience whooped as the lighting changed to create a tenser atmosphere. The camera then panned right to reveal two columns of lit-up, white squares, at the end of which sat a tank with three walls and stool that was looking suspiciously clean. "You will both start where you're standing, in front of two columns of steps. In turn, you will answer general knowledge questions. If you get it right, your opponent must take a step forward and be subjected to a little messing up. However, if you say an incorrect answer, you must be the one to take a step forward. The first person to reach the end must enter the gunge tank and they will get the worst mess of the lot. Do you both understand?"

Christian shouted yes whilst Oscar gave a more subtle nod towards Marcus.

"Then it's time to step up before your Six Degrees of Devastation!"

Oscar and Christian took their places on set and completed a round of rock, paper, scissors to determine who will answer first. Oscar won, but decided to go second.

"Okay, Christian, you're up then. What is the capital city of Finland?"

Christian looked over at Oscar smugly. "I went there two years ago to help with a photoshoot a company was doing. It's Helsinki."

The audience gave their approval of the answer and Marcus told Oscar to take his first step forward. As he did, the light he stood on changed from white to red. At this point, Oscar suddenly felt much more nervous.

"You know what this means," Marcus said. And at this point, a vat above Oscar released 10 litres of custard over him. It slowly dripped over his blonde curls and Oscar looked shocked at how messy he already looked. Only ten minutes ago was he comfortably sitting in the audience for a TV pilot - now, he was dripping in a custardy mess.

"Unlucky Oscar. But don't worry, you can turn it around on this question. What's the name of the cowboy in Toy Story?"

At this point, Oscar suddenly felt a bit more relaxed. "This was my favourite film growing up so I'm confident the answer's Woody."

Christian looked mildly annoyed but didn't need the instruction to step forward onto his first step. Like before, the light turned red and suddenly Christian was dripping custard that fell from the ceiling. Unlike Oscar, Christian made the most of the moment and flicked his hair back and smiled at the camera.

"Ok Christian, your second question: in what year was the song 'Come On Eileen' released?"

Suddenly, the questions felt much harder. The song was certainly older Christian and he tried to make something work out of thin air.

"1985?" he answered with a lack of confidence.

Marcus paused. "That's the wrong answer. I need you to take a step forward for me."

On the last round, Christian had an idea of what he was going to get, thanks to Oscar being drenched in custard before him. But now, he had no idea what was going to fall on him.

As the light turned red, 10 litres of baked beans were dumped on his head. He let out a small gasp as the scent wafted into his nose and he released he now looked a mixture of red and yellow. He wiped the beans off his head and, in his form, looked at the camera and tried to look confident.

"Ooooh, that one looked nasty. Oscar, you'll need to answer this correctly to avoid a similar fate. Which character speaks the first line in the original Star Wars movie?"

Oscar paused and thought about it. "Is it C-3PO?"

The audience was silent as they waited for Marcus to reveal the answer.

"You're...correct! Which means Christian must take another step forward!"

Christian was not happy. He was now two steps ahead of Oscar and whilst he was happy to be getting the air time, he didn't want to be embarrassed.

He stepped forward, the light turned red and suddenly green slime descended over him. It was thicker than he expected gunge to be, but he realised that there was now three layers of mess on him. He couldn't afford to lose any more steps to Oscar.

"Okay Christian, your next question. What number is a baker's dozen?"

"13." Christian was sure he got this right, and the nodding from some member's of the audience reassured him.

"That's correct, which means Oscar takes his next step forward."

Oscar took a deep breath and moved onto the next light. It turned red, he shut his eyes and baked beans descended over him, splattering off of his head. The juice ran down his body and once the flow had stopped, he wiped his eyes and even managed a little smile. This wasn't as bad as he thought.

"Oscar, who scored the fastest goal in Premier League history after just 7.69 seconds?"

Christian laughed. There was no way someone would remember something like that. "We'll be level-pegging in no time," he thought to himself.

"I think that's Shane Long, Marcus." Oscar was a big lover of football and remembered this record-breaking a few years ago.

"That's the right answer!" shouted Marcus. Christian clasped his hands over his mouth as he realised he would be closer to the punishment of the gunge tank.

As the light turned red when he moved forward, Christian tentatively looked up to see what was coming. At that moment, a very runny, muddy consistency coated him and his good looks. Whilst before you could the three layers of mess, now, Christian looked like a muddy monster, drenched in brown muck.

"Wow, it gets nastier and nastier. And remember lads, whoever ends up in the tank gets the worst of it. So, Christian, it's back to you for a question." Christian rolled his eyes...he prayed for another easy one. "In 1952, Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of which country?"

Christian scoffed. "How am I meant to know the answer to that?! Ask me a question about fashion or something. I'll guess Austria."

"As a surprise to no one, that's incorrect. It was actually Israel. And that means...it's time to take a step forward."

By this point, the audience was really getting into it, cheering and celebrating as each step forward was taken. They now also knew that after this gunging, Christian was one step away from the gunge tank.

Christian took a deep breath and moved forward. Once he did, he noticed a very cheesy smell, after which, thick nacho cheese fell on top of him, coating his face and body in a yellow sauce. Christian grunted as he felt disgusted with what he was covered in. The audience loved seeing the once arrogant, confident man be far out of his comfort zone.

The host turned to Oscar. "If you get this right, you are sending Christian straight into the gunge tank. If not, I think you know what's coming." Christian looked at Oscar with such nervousness...what could be worse than what he'd already experienced? "In golf, which US state plays host to the famous Whistling Straits course?"

Oscar laughed. He had no idea, but secretly, he was looking forward to trying out the slime. "I'll guess Florida," Marcus told him that was the wrong answer and Christian breathed a sigh of relief. Oscar took his step forward, the audience whooped and 10 litres of green slime hit right on the head. Oscar looked more comfortable now than he ever had been and was ready to take anything on.

"Christian," the host said in his most serious voice, "you need to answer this correctly to stay in the game. And by luck, you've got a question on your favourite topic - fashion! The question is...which fashion designer is famous for launching the mini skirt?

Christian's face, once so optimistic when he heard the topic of the question, now sank. He wasn't sure and he dreaded what a wrong guess would result in.

"I don't know, but I'm going to guess...Coco Chanel?"

The audience stayed silent, waiting for Marcus to reveal the answer.

"You...are...INCORRECT...which means you're headed for the gunge tank!"

Christian's face sank into his hands. How did this go so wrong for him? It wasn't even that close in the end. Marcus, without touching his body and ruining his own suit, guided him into the gunge tank and asked Oscar to stand next to him.

As Christian sat down and realised his fate, he realised that he had to make the most of the moment. He brushed off the remaining nacho cheese, which was still causing him to silently retch, looked straight into the camera and gave his signature, cheeky smile.

"Christian, I'm sure you're wondering what's sitting above you right now. Well, I can tell you, it's 40 litres of slime that was mixed last week, which means it's nice and cold. Not only that...but in there we have rotten eggs and fish guts to give it a nice smell that only 'Don't Mess Around With Me' can give you. Do you have any final words?"

"Nope, other than...bring it on!"

The audience cheered as they were about to see the biggest gunging of the day. Marcus gave a cord to Oscar and gave him the honours of pulling on it. After a countdown, the blue gunge poured all over Christian. The initial chill shocked him, and he let out a scream. And then he realised the smell, which was twice as bad as anything he'd experienced on his route to the gunge tank. Wanting to put on a show though, he looked up into the gunge and his face was coated in the mess.

Oscar looked on and laughed. Whilst he enjoyed getting messy far more than he expected, he could smell the gunge from where he stood and was grateful he wasn't in there. As the gunge stopped, Oscar joined the audience in applauding Christian, who was trying to ignore the smell and waved at the audience as the gunge tank was pulled back behind the set.