Part 1: The Pies

Ohio State...Are You ready to get MESSY?!

Y-E-A-H! cheers a large crowd gathering in the warm sun of Ohio State Universitys Oval lawn. The speaker, a hunky MTV-style host wearing sun glasses, board shorts and a tight fitting CMO T shirt oozes cocky irreverence:

Awesome! Im Josh and I want to welcome you to College Challenge, the event that puts students from Americas finest colleges and universities in totally wild and crazy situations. We have two lovely young women ready to accept our first challenge today. Lets give them a chance to introduce themselves...College Challenge style!

A rock beat begins to thud. A stunningly beautiful girl in a bikini steps forward and the crowd cheers. Her short blond hair is pulled into a neat pony tail. Its hard not to stare at her perfect face. Her full, sumptuous breasts and the curves of her smooth legs are the epitome of feminine beauty. A massive pie is raised in aim at her face, courtesy of another girl. Laughing, the blond nervously brushes a hand over her hair. She looks into a TV camera and speaks, trying to stifle giggles:

Hi. Im Emily. Im 20 years old and Im from Springfield, Massachusetts. Im a Junior Political Science major at Ohio State University. When Im not studying I like swimming, biking and kayaking and playing the french horn.

SMACK! The pie smashes into Emilys face and the crowd erupts. Thick, gooey whipped cream oozes and slops in every direction at the moment of impact and drops onto delicious cleavage. Now unrecognizable, Emily backs away.

The equally hot girl who threw the pie steps in front of the camera. Her luscious bikini clad body is on full display. She has beautiful, red curly hair. Emily gleefully raises a new pie in aim and the girl is overcome with giggles:

Hi. Im Caitlin. Im 19. Im from South Euclid, Ohio and Im a sophomore at Ohio State University majoring in Communications with a minor in creative writing. In my free time I like working out, seeing independent films and I also play the clarinet.

SMACK! A second after she finishes Caitlin takes the pie right in her face, to the delight of the crowd...



Part 2: The Challenge

The girls are given towels to clean up and Josh introduces todays challenge:

Emily and Caitlin...do you like burritos?

Both girls nod yes.

Cool. Right here on this table we have three ingredients that are found in a typical burrito...refried beans, guacamole and sour cream. Emily and Caitlin, youre going to make burritos using these ingredients. That sounds simple enough, right?

Again, they nod yes.

Awesome. Now theres only one slight problem...Were a little short on plates today...so do you know what that means?

Caitlin and Emily look baffled and slightly worried.

Youll be making the burritos...in your bikinis.

The crowd goes wild. Both girls look shocked. Josh continues:

As you can tell, were missing one key ingredient...salsa. Thats where these 5 hidden mystery stools behind these cardboard doors come in. One stool contains the soft shell of the burrito. Whoever finds that stool first gets five gallons of salsa dumped over her head and wins the game, earning $200.00 in cash. Selecting one of the other 4 stools gets you a messy punishment and earns you nothing. Any questions or final words?

You mean...were actually going to have it...like...in our bikinis? gasps Emily giggling. Oh my God!

Thats right says Josh. Each of you will fill the other girls bikini. You can use your top and bottom.

Emily and Caitlin look at each other and giggle, overcome with shock at the sheer novelty of what they are being asked to do. For a moment they hesitate, unable to decide who will go first. Finally, Caitlin reluctantly volunteers. A new rock beat starts pumping. Caitlin stands stiffly, waiting for her bikini bottom to be pulled back. The camera pans in on her perfect ass. Hesitantly, as if she cant believe its really OK to do this, Emily scoops up a lump of cold, gooey refried beans and slowly walks toward Caitlin who is dying of giggly anticipation. The crowd begins cheering even louder, relishing the spectacle that is unfolding.

This is so stupid! moans Caitlin. I cant believe Im doing this!

Josh pulls the microphone to his mouth: Caitlin.....Communications major from South Euclid Ohio....Are you ready to have your bikini turned into a burrito?!

Oh my God! giggles Caitlin as Emily pulls out the back of her bikini bottom. Her shoulders raise in tense anticipation. The handful of slimy refried beans drops into Caitlins bikini. Caitlin gives her butt a little shake and pulls her bikini bottom up, trying to adjust the position of the beans. Ew! Its going in between my legs! she giggles. It feels gross!

Now an almost child like silliness overcomes Emily and Caitlin. After initial inhibition, they begin taking great delight in filling each others bikinis. A handful of smooth guacamole smears over a breast...a clump of sour cream plops into an already bulging bikini bottom. The camera takes its share of close shots of the girls asses as they wriggle and try to adjust sour cream, guacamole and refried beans in their bikinis...



Part 3: Time to Get Trashed

A coin is tossed. Emily gets first pick at finding the burrito stool.

Number 4? she giggles, nervously.

The cardboard door prop is removed, revealing a stool containing a massive double chocolate layer cake.

Sorry, Emily! gloats Josh. That doesnt quite look like the burrito shell. Were going to have to ask you to take a seat anyway. Caitlin, you now have the opportunity to select three punishments for Emily from the table.

Emily slowly steps to the stool, sour cream, guacamole and refried beans starting to run down her legs and out of her cleavage. She stands over the stool, shaking with laughter.

Emily, is this your first time sitting in a double chocolate layer cake? asks Josh.

Yes! she giggles.

As the crowd cheers Emily bends her legs, positioning her ass over the massive cake...

...SM-O-O-SH....Emilys ass sinks into the cake which explodes in every direction. Smooth, moist, gooey cake and chocolate frosting ooze between Emilys legs. She feels the sour cream, guacamole and refried beans smearing in her bikini. She rubs her ass back and forth, enjoying the sensation. Caitlin lifts a heavy bucket over Emilys head.

For Emilys first punishment she will get...five gallons of spaghetti-Os dumped over her head! Im so sorry, Emily! This is so unfair! says Josh, mockingly.

The bucket tips. Spaghetti-Os engulf Emilys neat blond pony tail. She wriggles on the stool as the spaghetti-Os hit her shoulders and begin sliding down into her cleavage. The mass of red hits her legs, all the little O noodles collecting in her lap.

Now we have...five gallons of raw eggs! says Josh.

The second bucket tips and Emily is consumed in slimy eggs. The third bucket tips.

Hey, Emily. I hope you like chocolate because here comes five gallons of chocolate syrup! says Josh.

Emily stands up, consumed from head to foot in slop. Slowly, she walks away from the stool, arms held out from her sides. Now its Caitlins turn to find the right stool. She chooses door number 2. The cardboard door is moved away. On the stool is a giant whipped cream topped pudding pie.

Oh my God! giggles Caitlin.

Looks like Emily is going to get a little revenge! gloats Josh.

Caitlin steps to the stool, stands over it and hesitates, as if she cant bring herself to actually sit in the pie.

Oh my God!...OK...I can do this! she giggles.

SM-O-O-SH....Caitlins ass sinks into the thick, smooth chocolate pudding and whipped cream. Emily gleefully appears with a bottle of mustard.

Caitlin...Your punishments will be ketchup and mustard....peanut butter and five gallons of baked beans! says Josh.

Emily aims the mustard bottle over Caitlins beautiful red hair and squeezes. Mustard shoots out and collects on top of Caitlins head. Emily squirts mustard into Caitlins cleavage and finishes the bottle by targeting her legs. Next Emily is given a bottle of peanut butter. She joyfully puts her entire hand in the jar scooping out as much as she can get. The crowd cheers with a riot like intensity while Caitlin waits in meek, giggly resignation. Emily smears the handful of peanut butter into Caitlins lovely curls, completely obliterating them.

Wow! laughs Josh. Caitlin, you look pretty stupid right now! And you know all your friends back in Springfield will be seeing this! I wonder what its like for a dad to watch his beautiful daughter get destroyed like this...all for our entertainment?!

More peanut butter is smear into Caitlins hair. Emily pulls off part of Caitlins bikini top and smears peanut butter over her sumptuous breasts. Emily picks up a large plastic bottle of ketchup, aims and fires. She squeezes and it lets out a fart sound. The whole bottle covers Caitlin. Finally a bucket of cold baked beans is dumped over Caitlins head, finishing her off.

Both girls now are covered from head to foot and are completely unrecognizable. Its Emilys turn to choose the next stool. She now has a one in three chance. She picks number 5. The cardboard is removed and there on stool number five is the soft flour burrito shell. The crowd cheers. She sits down and Josh picks up the bucket of salsa. He lifts it over Emilys head and dumps it. A layer of salsa covers all the other slop coating Emily.

Congratulations, Emily! You have won $200.00 in cash! says Josh. Caitlin...You have won...nothing. However, we would like to give Emily one more pie to put in your face for the sake of celebration. We will then ask you to stand here while our audience pelts you with our ten remaining pies!

The crowd cheers in approval. Emily has been attempting to clean salsa out of her eyes. She is given a massive pie. Caitlin walks up to her and stands, awkwardly, completely defeated.

SMACK! Emily puts the pie right in Caitlins face, then smears it into what had been her hair. Pies begin flying from the crowd. SMACK!....SMACK!......Pies hit her breasts and legs and she gets more direct hits in the face. This is an experience that Caitlin and Emily will never forget!

Why do college students at schools across the country willingly and enthusiastically subject themselves to this? Why is it that everywhere College Challenge goes there is a crowd of students, usually well prepared with a Target bag containing a towel and a change of cloths who think this is fun? Who knows, but wouldnt you like to be the lucky guy who gets to hose these girls down afterwards?