Miles contemplated the huge vat which had been set up in the courtyard at the back of the leisure centre. It was filled almost to the brim with a light green coloured foamy slime. However, upon closer examination the slime wasn't so much foamy as having the consistency and stickiness of runny meringue. Miles was loathed to test this observation by reaching out and touching the stuff, and shuddered at the thought of what might happen should he actually be dumped in it.

In addition to the gunge, the whole outside area had been transformed. There was a raised stage at the far end and below that was a curving metal slide leading to the vat. Around the courtyard were scattered groups of tables and chairs and above it all a new canvas canopy as a precautionary measure for the rain that had been predicted later that day.

As he wandered round the courtyard, he still could believe that he'd agreed to participate in the stupid auction. Miles had only recently relocated to the area after a breaking up with his fiancee and wanting a fresh start. He'd joined the leisure centre not so much to get back in shape but as a place to meet new people. It was during his third visit that he'd first bumped into Laura.

Laura was the assistant manager and a former trainer at the centre. She'd been running late for an appointment and in her rush had almost knocked Miles down. She'd apologised immediately and after her meeting had hunted him down to say sorry once more. They'd gotten chatting and even swapped numbers with a promise to call one another. Miles had to admit he found her very attractive and was keen to get to know her better but didn't want to appear to be too eager. So, it was Laura who surprisingly called him first.

"This is going to sound a little odd" Laura began.

"Okay" Miles said hesitantly.

She explained that the leisure centre held an annual charity event to help raise funds: a bachelor auction, and she wondered if he would be willing to participate this year. Miles was somewhat taken aback by the appeal as it wasn't what he'd been expecting. He'd hoped for some alone time with Laura, perhaps a meal out or even just a quiet drink somewhere.

As Miles hadn't immediately shut down the request, Laura took that as a sign to press on with her pitch. She described the success of the previous events, the money they'd raised and all the good causes that had funded. She'd even framed the auction as a means of introducing himself to the local community and making new contacts. He'd finally responded with an emotionless grunt which she'd taken as acceptance and hung up.

It wasn't until he'd arrived that day he'd learned of the possible messy forfeit. One of the centre staff had casually mentioned it, saying it was something new to help spice things up and to provide additional entertainment for those bidding when a bachelor failed to reach their agreed upon reserve price. Miles decided he wanted no part in this sordid affair and went to look for Laura.

* * *

Inside the centre things were chaotic as everyone prepared for the start of the event. Miles asked around after Laura but either no one knew where she was, or they directed him to where she'd previously been. Both at the upstairs offices and the storerooms he discovered he'd just missed her by minutes. Finally, he located her in the main foyer just as the doors opened and a flood of well-dressed people entered.

"I'm really not sure about this" Miles whispered to Laura.

Laura smiled reassuring at him and taking hold of his arm led him past numerous collections of women clad in colourful evening gowns. Miles couldn't help but feel like a piece of meat as many of the women, and even a couple of the guys, turned an appraising glance in his direction. In fact, he was so embarrassed by all the attention he was getting that he failed to recognise where Laura was actually steering him until he found himself standing before an older women dressed in a smart business-like skirt suit.

The woman gave him a quick once over before reaching out a hand to introduce herself. It turned out her name was Elaine, and she was both the regional manager for the leisure centre and also the auctioneer for tonight's event. She expressed appreciation to Mile for volunteering for the event whilst Laura gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.

Then after a little more small talk, including a revelation from Laura that Miles was their star lot for this evening, Elaine gave her apologies as she headed off to perform a final mic check before starting the auction. Laura also took this as an opportunity to direct Miles towards the locker room where the other bachelors would be changing. Miles walked off solemnly towards the lockers realising that any chance of backing out now was well and truly gone.

"Good luck and don't worry, I've brought my cheque book" Lauren called out.

Upon entering the locker room Miles saw half a dozen men in various states of undress. He recognised the young guy from the reception desk, one of the personal trainers and even the leisure centre manager among them. However, the other three were unknown to Miles although they all greeted him warmly.

* * *

Miles sat there patiently as the event got started knowing he was to be the last up which meant he could wait until later to get dressed into his monkey suit. The first of the group to be auctioned off was the receptionist who was clearly a little nervous at the prospect. The other guys gave him a lot of support and encouragement, for example making sure his bow tie was on straight, before one of the leisure centre's female lifeguards escorted him off.

They could hear the sounds of clapping and cheers as the receptionist arrived in the courtyard and then after a few minutes of low volume chatter they could hear numbers being shouted out. The auction started at fifty pounds and increased slowly, usually by a tenner or sometimes twenty, until the price reached a hundred and thirty. This was then followed by more applause.

Second up was one of the three men Miles didn't know. He was probably in his early to mid-forties and just starting to go bold on top. Unlike most of the others he wasn't particularly in shape, but he carried himself with a lot of confidence especially when he went swaggering off with the lifeguard. Like with the receptionist the price started a fifty pounds but unfortunately it didn't even reach one hundred. For a moment there was silence, then there was a short creaking sound followed moments later by howls of laughter.

"Oh shit!" the personal trainer exclaimed.

"Glad that wasn't me" another added.

Next up was the leisure centre manager. He didn't look quite so optimistic now and hesitated slightly before being led off. His price started at one hundred pounds but luckily, he didn't need to worry as the bids came in quick and fast and in the end, he was sold for just over two hundred pounds. There was a loud round of applause at this and the remaining guys in the locker room all looked mightily relieved as this.

But as this was happening the second bachelor made his sticky return. He was covered head to toe in the gunk from the vat and looked for all intents and purposes as if someone had dipped him in a vast quantity of peppermint toothpaste. The other guys gave him plenty of space as he tried and failed to undress himself before heading off into the showers anyway to get himself cleaned up.

"Poor guy" one of the others stated.

With three of the guys now having been auctioned off, Miles decided to it was time for him to get dressed up. He stripped out of his smart casual clothing to leave him in just boxer briefs and socks before putting on a white dress shirt, black trousers and dress shoes. He then secured the cuffs of his shirt with a pair of cufflinks and after doing up the top button put on and tied his bow tie. He had also brought a cummerbund but decided not to bother with it on this occasion. Finally, he put on his jacket with the wide lapels and checked his appearance in one of the room's mirrors.

Miles took his discarded clothing and placed it in a locker. He also made sure that his keys, wallet and phone were secure as he didn't want to carry them and ruin the line of his suit. He then shut the locker before sitting down again to wait nervously alongside his fellow bachelors for the inevitable summons to be sold off or slimed.

One by one the three remaining bachelors were lead from the room. The first to go was the personal training, who from the sounds of the bidding was a popular choice. The second wasn't so lucky and once again Miles heard an explosion of laughter as the unfortunate guy was dropped into the vat. The third guy was just being introduced when the lock room door swung open and the female lifeguard popped her head in.

"Hope you're ready" she said.

Taking a deep breath, Miles stood up and made his way over to her. The lifeguard gave him a quick glance over before taking a moment to straighten his bow tie. She then gave him a beaming smile, mustering something under her breath about how she wished she could make a bid, before escorting him out.

* * *

Miles was led out of the building and down the side of the courtyard which had been separated from the audience by a series of canvas screens. Every few yards there was a narrow gap in the partition which allowed him to spot smartly dressed people, mostly women, sitting around tables chatting and drinking. It looked as if the forecast rain hadn't manifested yet and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

They made their way up to the side of the stage and Miles could see Elaine checking her notes. She glanced over and gave him a reassuring smile before beckoning him onstage. Miles stepped out to polite applause and even a couple of wolf whistles. He smiled anxiously at the gathering as he made his way over to her.

"And our final bachelor this evening" Elaine announced.

Elaine then introduced Miles to the expectant crowd. She mentioned how he was new to the area and also single which provoked a loud whoop from a woman at the back. This was followed by a burst of laughter from those present, even Elaine joined in. She then went on to explain that the successful bidder would get to go on a paid for dinner date with Miles at an exclusive Italian restaurant situated a couple of towns over.

The auction got off to a good start with an opening offer of one hundred pounds which was quickly beaten and then again. The bidding was fast and furious until it reached around two hundred and fifty where it began to slow down. Miles glanced nervously at vat of gunge in the middle of the courtyard but was relieved when it picked up again. Soon the amount on offer crept up to three hundred pounds.

"Three hundred and ninety-nine pounds!" Laura shouted.

There was a surprised gasp at the huge jump and people turned to see Laura sitting at one of the tables near the centre waving a chequebook aloft. Elaine tried to elicit further bids from those assembled, but it seemed Laura's offer was to be the last of the evening. Miles blew Laura a kiss as he prepared to step down from the stage and walk over to her.

"Unfortunately, that's just shy of the reserve" Elaine declared.

Miles turned to Elaine in surprise assuming she was joking but the smile on her face seemed to hold little humour. He looked out at the gathering only to see the audience were waiting eagerly to see his humiliation. Over at her table, Miles could see Laura looking intensively at him, a smirk playing upon her lips. This had all been a setup he realised at that instant, but why? He'd never done anything to Laura except wanting to get to know her and his seemed a little extreme for a simple rejection. However, further contemplation was cut short as the stage beneath him suddenly gave way.

He dropped a couple of feet before the gentle slope of the metal slide met his fall and redirected him towards the vat. Mile lashed out, trying to grab on to anything to stop or slow his momentum. Unfortunately, the metal was very slick and there was nothing he could do as he rapidly approached the end of the slide much to the evident delight of the baying crowd.

For a brief moment the gunge supported his weight leaving him lying there face up in the vat. But very soon the green gunk began to envelop him in its sticky embrace and drag him under. He tried to resist but it did no good and he slumped to the bottom of the vat. The gunge itself was only a couple of feet deep, not enough to pose a risk to life but more than enough to ruin his best suit and destroy any last shred of self-respect he might have once had.

The gunge was both cold and wet and began to penetrate into Miles' clothing. So, wanting to escape, he foolishly stood and immediately lost his footing, faceplanting into the slime. He noticed stuff smelt awful and not as all minty as he'd expected, so was careful to keep his mouth closed as he rolled over and sat up.

"Glad I got that all on film" he heard a woman say.

Miles wanted to hide in the vat from those watching and pretend it wasn't happening but knew that wasn't really an option. So, he crawled over to the side of the vat and grabbing hold of the edge pulled himself up. Emerging from the vat provoked another round of laughter at his expense from those gathered. He gave the crowd a short bow in a vain attempt to regain a small measure of the dignity he'd once had.

Then he made his walk of shame back to the leisure centre. As he passed by the tables, he avoided eye contact with anyone although he did notice that Laura had vanished from her seat. He had wanted to confront her and demand an explanation but that seemed impossible now. Instead, he just slinked off trying to avoid further attention despite looking something like a mouldy yeti.

* * *

When he got back to the locker room Miles was dismayed to find it all locked up. A post-it note on the door stated that due to drainage issues it wouldn't be available until the following morning. As he was about to try forcing his way in, he heard someone approach and spun round to find Laura standing there. She had a phone in one hand and a clear plastic bag in the other containing what looked to be his wallet, phone and keys.

"Please tell me what I've ever done to you?" Miles pleaded.

Laura didn't say anything. Instead, she lifted up her phone and showed him a picture of three young women with arms around one another's shoulders at what appeared to be a college function. The first women was clearly Laura from a few years ago, the second woman was unknown to him but the third was his ex-fiancee. That must be why Laura had humiliated him, to get back at Miles for breaking up with her friend. She gave him a conceited smile before handing him his personal effects and striding off.

With no other choice, Miles left the leisure centre still covered in the awful gunk from the vat. It would have been quicker and easier to drive home but he didn't want to ruin the inside of his car so instead decided to walk. That meant he'd be laughed at by every person he passed by but at least it could get any worse. Then just as he reached the main road, it started raining.

The end.