I felt as the time slowed down, the sole of my foot had the first contact with the surface of the mud puddle, then I pushed down, the muddy water climbed up between my toes and covered my red painted nails, I felt the cold, sloppy and smooth mud in the bottom, as I pushed in I felt it climbing and covering my foot completely, then it reached my ankle, I moved my other foot into the puddle, the same feeling but better, a shiver climbing up from my feet to my legs, to my crotch, my belly even had a small shaking, my chest and my neck were shaking as if someone had kissed them, my heart raced and my breathe became heavier, what was this feeling?, I felt as if I wasaroused?, am I feeling aroused by stepping into a mud puddle?, I took my left foot off the mud puddle, and I took the next step, my foot dived into the mud again, covering itself completely, up to my ankles, awaking that feel one more time, a second wave or arousal and something I can only describe as pleasure; pure and deep pleasure, I even closed my eyes for a fraction of a second, then the feeling changed and pulled me out of this sinkhole of pleasure, my next step didn't touched soft, sloppy and smooth mud, but the rough pavement again, I looked and recovered my awareness of the world, Shayla was opening the passenger's door on the other side of the car, I only walked in the mud for two seconds, but to me, it felt like a whole night of complete pleasure.
- Here, clean your feet here, I will put your bag in the seat -. Shayla then walked to me and took my backpack off from me, while she was pointing at the puddle.
- Ok -. I answered without thinking, my mind was still thinking about that feeling of pleasure coming from my feet.
I cleaned my feet, my mud-covered feet soon became pale again, the brown of the mud disappeared revealing my skin and shown back the red color of my nails, the mud washed away leaving only a cold sensation in my skin, then I moved a little my head from side to side as if I were shaking it, and reacted to the situation, I felt as if I was stunned, Shayla was inside the car, in the driver's seat, I walked in and stepped into the car, barefoot, the touch of her car's rug vanished the feel of cold in my soles, yet I couldn't stop wringing my toes in the soft rug, wishing it was mud instead.
- See? Wasn't that hard? -. Shayla said while laughing and driving.
- No ha-ha maybe I was being too childish -. I answered to her, distracted.
The road to my home took almost 20 minutes, I tried to keep my mind away from the mud and made some chit-chat with Shayla.
Why did I feel that way? Why it felt so good? Isn't mud something disgusting that people avoids? If that so, why it felt so pleasant to step into? Why I feel aroused now? Maybe it was not the mud, maybe it was Shayla, something happened in her voice that made me feel attraction, am I bisexual? Am I lesbian? the questions were moving in my mind as a nest of bees, flying and moving around.
We arrived our home and we heard a happy voice calling, it came from my mother, Guadalupe, or "Lupita" as we call her, she saw and recognized my friend's car entering the street and parking in front of my house, a modest home in the border between Lower West Side and Pilsen neighborhoods, a house painted in white, with two floors and a small yard in the front, my parents bought that house when they arrived to the city in 1981, in the "Mexican neighborhood", near to the National museum of Mexican art, where I used to go a lot during the elementary school fieldtrips, my mother has always been a strong woman, not only she left behind everything she knew in her country for searching a better life, for the pursuit of a dream with my father, she also took care of us since ever, she even was the one who choose our names: Jhoanna to me, and Lily to my sister, because both are names that are pronounced the same way in Spanish and English, she was a warm-hearted woman, a little chubby but she never looked bad at all, her short hair falls around her face and stops in her shoulders, small wrinkles cross her face, her skin is lightly darker than mine and her hair is curly, she smiled and walked to Shayla's window.
- Hey! Girls, good that you're here! Shayla, do you want to enter and drink something? - said my mother.
- No, thanks Ms. Lupita, I'm only taking Jhoanna, the rain may have slowed down the public transportation and I don't want her to spend the whole night trying to arrive to her sister's birthday -. Answered Shayla
In the window of my home, I saw the lights on, and shadows of many people dancing and laughing, in the bottom some children heads running and playing, one of those children should be Lily, the cumbia music sounded loud and full of joy, some balloons were hanged up in the front door and in the windows.
- Oh gracias, Shayla, that's very nice to you -. Said my mother.
- Thanks to bringing me home Shay, see you on Monday -. I said as I put my shoes on again and stepped out the car.
- Deh naddda Jho, hahaha I still can't pronounce it right, see you on Monday, girl -. Said Shayla with great effort, she has always been trying to speak Spanish as I do, since we've met, but my friend had never the skill for learning languages, she may be an expert in math and physics but, I bet she would learn how to cook before being able to order something fluently in a foreign food restaurant.
- It's pronounced "de nada" (you're welcome) Shayla, I'll keep you practicing when I see you again -. Said my mom in a warm way.
- Thanks, Ms. Lupita, I gotta practice more, well see you later, oh and please, give a big hug from me to Lily, tell her that I will bring her a birthday gift next Friday -. Said Shayla as she turned on the engine again and drove away.
Me and my mother crossed the small front yard and entered to the party, once inside all the people yelled happily "Hello" to me, I saw most of my neighbors and the parents of Lily's friends, the party was full of joy, couples dancing in the center of the living room, and a big table in front of the wall with a big cake, balloons and a big sign in the wall over it "Happy 5th birthday Lily", I tried to stop thinking about my muddy incident and decided to have fun in the party, I ran to my room, to pick up a big box from under my bed and gave it as a gift to my sister, she opened with a big smile and found a stuffed doll with the shape of a dog, she had always wanted a dog, for now this is the closest she would get, she received it full of happiness, as she wasn't able to tell the difference between a toy and a real dog, is interesting and delightful how easy is to get the smile of a small girl, I danced with some neighbors, a good part about growing up with all these people from many different places, is that you learn how to dance salsa, cumbia and bachata from a very small age, most of my neighbors are from Mexico, from many parts of the country, but some others also came from El Salvador, Colombia and other countries from Central and South America, it's a very warm community and our party shows it, it was all full of love.
The clock marked 9:00 pm and my father turned off the lights, I saw him in the dark and smiled, I admire so much my father, he came to the US to found a company for pharmaceutical production, he studied mechanical engineering in Mexico and came to pursuit a dream, to work with the biggest pharmaceutical companies in the world, and now he does it, he provides machines and equipment to most of the plants here in the US, I wouldn't say that we are rich but we do not suffer lack of money, my mother came with him to help fulfil that dream, she is the accountant of his enterprise and a co-founder, he has the same skin color than me, and the same eyes, he always told me that I got his skin, his eyes, but the nose and smile of my mother, his short black straight hair had shown some white hair since two years ago, along with his well-cut moustache, his name is Maximiliano, but my family and many of his friends and partners call him "Max".
All the guests began to sing for Lily who was standing in the middle of the table, my sister is the most adorable girl you'll ever meet, she is just like my mother but smaller, brunette, curly dark hair, big eyes and a pointed nose, a big smile and a face full of happiness, she was wearing her favorite princess costume for this day, a big yellow dress, all dirty and messy for running and crawling around the house floor with her friends, it will be hard to wash after this day, but, can you say "no" to a small girl who wants to dress as the sleeping beauty on her birthday?, I looked at her and smiled while my mother came across the living room with her cake, her big chocolate cake, watching that brown dark color made me remember, the mud, the feeling of mud in my feet, without noticing I began to move and wrinkle my toes, my sister blown the candles and smiled, I tried to think on something else to avoid the idea of the mud but I couldn't, the party ended two hours later and we decided to go to sleep.
The night walked slowly around my room, 00:03 am, midnight, I heard my parents snoring in their room, I can't hear anything coming from Lily's room, she has to be asleep by now, I only kept rolling in the blankets thinking about that feeling, am I weird for feeling that? maybe it was all a coincidence, maybe I felt attraction for my friend but as it happened the same time I went into the mud I felt that the mud was the cause of my arousal, then an idea crossed my mind, "maybe I should go to the backyard and step in mud again, therefore I would know if that was the thing that aroused me" , I tried to convince myself that it was not a good idea but I couldn't, so I slipped out of the bed, and I walked in the darkness, quietly as a mouse, barefoot and with a pair of sandals in my hand, "If I wear this sandals after my feet get covered in mud I can walk without messing the floor", I felt as if I were about to steal something, nobody had to know about this experiment, I walked down the stairs and opened quietly the door from the backyard, the cold air from the night made me shiver a little, my pajama wasn't exactly what you would call "warm", a white sleeveless blouse, and a pink short pants, I walked barefoot in the garden, looking at my parent's window in case they woke up, our backyard is not as big as I would like, but it has enough space for a small garden where my mom grows flowers, and a plastic small house for Lily to play with, along with a tree and a rope tied to a tire to swing, I walked and searched for some smooth mud, I felt my mouth dry and my heart racing, what I was doing?, why am I here?, I were thinking on that as I walked barefoot in the wet grass, suddenly all those question disappeared when I felt it, my feet found mud, it was not as smooth as the mud in the campus, but at least covered completely my foot, the same feeling again, when mud reached my toes I felt it running between them, I felt my heart racing and my breathing going faster, I was there enjoying that feeling when a noise took me away from my trance, it was the door from my neighbor, quickly I ran back to my home, I wore the sandals and tried to go back quickly to my room, as I reached the stairs I realized something, mud, there was mud in my feet, I didn't washed them before entering to my home, I can't go to bed like this, My mother would find out, I need to wash my feet now, with that in mind I changed my direction in way to the bathroom, I reached it and tried to open the door, I didn't saw the light coming from the edge of the door, I heard the sound of the door knob spinning, I felt my heart stopped, I was terrified, there was somebody in the bathroom, my feet are covered in mud, God I'm trapped, I can't make it to my room on time and it would be even more suspicious, I can't escape, I'm busted, then the door opened and I found myself face to face with my father.