The two purposes of this story are to entertain the reader and to illustrate my version of a WAM game I call "CluePie". The rules will be listed at the end of the story

A Game of CluePie

I rang the doorbell of a large mansion. Natwood the butleress open the door and greeted me, "Welcome, Professor Plum. The others are waiting." One of the house rules was that the players of CluePie could only be addressed by their character names. Natwood led me to the game room where I was greeted by my friend the cross-dressing Mrs. Peacock. He had purchased the mansion after winning the lottery. He uses the remainder of his winnings to indulge in his 2nd favorite activity, playing WAM games. He was wearing an ostrich egg blue ball gown accented with a pink faux fur stole and a rainbow-colored feathered tiara.

Mrs. Peacock vigorously shook my hand vigorously. "Welcome, Professor Plum. I love the bubble-blowing pipe." I blew a bubble for Mrs. Peacock. I had thought the pipe would give my mauve suit and bow tie ensemble a look of distinction and a touch of crass, er, class. "Let me introduce you to Mrs. White and her 25-year-old daughter, Miss Scarlett." Mrs. White was wearing a cream-colored women's business suit with a pure white blouse. The skirt was pleated and came down to 1 inch above the knee. The outfit was adorned with a necklace of white pearls. Miss Scarlett was wearing a backless red full-length ball gown that had a halter top and slits up to her thighs. She had dyed her hair a flaming red for the occasion, and had adorned it with a pink bow-tie ribbon to give the look a touch of innocence. Ironically, she didn't wear bright red lipstick for which I was secretly glad, as I dislike bright red lipstick. Instead, she wore a pinkish peach lipstick that went very well with her skin tone and greatly enhanced her natural beauty. As they were introduced, I kissed each lady's hand.

The game had already been set up. More pies surrounded the table than I would want to count. The pies were "Tarte a Lancer" pies made by the "La Course Super: bakery. These pies had the perfect texture for both sticking to the face and splatting all over one's clothes. I assisted Miss Scarlett to her seat, and Mrs. Peacock assisted Mrs. White. Then he and I took our seats. Using the premise, "beauty before age", we allowed Miss Scarlett to go first. She rolled a "5" and chose to move 5 spaces straight down. Then Mrs. White rolled a "3" and went two spaces to the right and one space up. Mrs. Peacock was next. He rolled a "4" and decided to into go straight into the Billiard Room to draw a card. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately--after all, there are only winners in a WAM game), he drew a "Splat" card. The house rule for splat cards is that all of the other players get to throw or smoosh a pie in the face of the player who drew the splat card. I chose to throw a strawberry cream to enjoy the contrast between the pinkish red pie filling and the blue dress. Mrs. White chose a banana cream pie. Miss Scarlett chose a blueberry cream pie. We threw from different angles, and Mrs. Peacock's head, stole and shoulders because a big mass of cream and filling. Mrs. Peacock asked Mrs. White to clean some of the pie from his eyes and nose so that he could see and breathe. The house rule was that a player can't clean his- or herself while the game was being played, but could ask another player to clean enough to let the player see and breathe. To finish the turn, Mrs. Peacock drew a card from the "Remaining Card Deck" without looking at it, added that card and the "Splat" card back to the billiard room deck, shuffled the billiard room deck, and put it back in the billiard room.

Play continued in this fashion. Due to some very poor die rolling, it took me 4 turns to cover the 5 squares between where I started and the Study. By that time, Miss Scarlett had been to the Lounge, where she drew a "Splat" card, to the Conservatory where she drew a "Clue" card now hidden in her hand, and was about to enter the Billiard Room; Mrs. White had been to the Ballroom and the Kitchen, both times drawing "Splat" cards, and Mrs, Peacock had been to the Conservatory, where he drew a "clue" card, and the Lounge, where he drew his 2nd "Splat Card". Everyone look expectantly as I drew my card, and were disappointed (as was I) that I put the card into my hand. In fact, I now knew that I wasn't the one who put the pie into Mr. Boddy's face. In a strange sort of way, I was disappointed at that, too. Miss Scarlett entered the Billiard Room and drew her 2nd "Splat". Mrs. White used the secret passage to the Study and drew her 3rd
"Splat", and Mrs. Peacock returned to the Conservatory and drew his 3rd "Splat". When I used the secret passageway to go to the Kitchen and drew a card, the anticipation was so intense that it would take a machete to hack through it. I held the card in mid-air just to tease them, and then flipped it up to reveal that was indeed my first "Splat" card. They all relaxed, and Miss Scarlet exclaimed, "Finally!" They chose to pie me with a Butterscotch cream pie, which I considered to be the best tasting of the pies.

It didn't take long for all of the cards to be in play. We were all awaiting the first appearance of a "Strip" card. We didn't have long to wait, as Miss Scarlett drew one in the Dining Room. Playing up to the group, she exclaimed, "Oh, no, a 'Strip' card.". She stood and slowly brought her hands up as to remove her pie-covered dress. When she could see that she had both Mrs. Peacock and myself hooked, she quickly shifted her hands to her head and deftly removed the pie-covered hair ribbon that both of us had forgotten about. I will never know how she managed to remove her pie-covered ribbon from her pie-covered hair with her pie-covered hands so deftly, but she managed it.

Play continued. I continued to roll low numbers and therefore had been pied fewer times and had more of my clothes on than my opponents. Mrs. White was down to just her panties. Miss Scarlett was down to her panties and bra. Mrs. Peacock was down to his panties. I was still wearing my pants and undershirt. I had two unrevealed clues. Each of my opponents had one unrevealed clue. Twelve of the clues had been revealed, which meant that there was only one clue left to find. Mrs. Peacock entered the Kitchen and drew an "All Reveal" card. As a result, each of my opponents had to reveal their last clue. I chose to reveal that the pie wasn't a coconut cream pie. I retained the clue that I didn't do it. On my very next turn. I entered the library and found the last clue. Mr Boddy wasn't smooshed with a chocolate cream pie. Once I saw this, I knew that Mr. Boddy had been smooshed with a butterscotch cream pie in the Hall by Colonel Mustard.

Since the last clue had been discovered, all of the cards were shuffled and moved to the Accusation Room. When a player entered the Accusation Room, they could either write down what they thought the solution was, or draw a card hoping to get an "All Reveal" card to get more information. If the player had chosen to guess, he or she checks the cards in the packets. If he or she is correct, he or she reveals the solution and the guess and wins the game. If the player is incorrect, he or she replaces the cards and tips his or her token on its side and is out of the game, If the player draws a card, the card is followed as normal, and the player gets the same choice on his or her next turn. All three of the other players beat me to the accusation room, and, as long as I was more than one turn away, drew a card. Miss Scarlett had to take one more trio of pies and then had to remove her bra. Mrs. White took another set of pies. Mrs. Peacock twice drew "Reveal" cards, which had no effect as he had no more clues. When I was within one turn of the Accusation Room. As it turned out, all three of them guessed that I was the one who had smooshed the pie. Since all three of them had guessed wrong. I had won the game.

Mrs White congratulated me with a big hug, and Mrs. Peacock gave me a hearty handshake. Then Mrs. White and Mrs. Peacock got up, pick up as many of the remaining pies as they could carry, and retired to another part of the mansion not to be seen again until the following morning. At this point, Miss Scarlett coyly asked, "Professor, what are we going to do with all these pies?"




Rules for my variation of CluePie
Game materials
1 standard Clue game board
6 player tokens
1 six-sided die
1 pouch
4 pads of paper and 4 pens or pencils
A mechanism for counting the number of "Clue" cards found

1 deck of CluePie cards

21 "Clue" cards, which consist of
6 Character alibi cards
6 Pie cards
9 Room elimination cards

90 "Action" cards, which consist of
48 "Splat" cards
12 "Strip" cards, the use of which is optional
24 "Reveal" cards
6 "All Reveal" cards

Preparation
1) Randomly select one of the character alibi cards and place it into the pouch without revealing its identity. Do the same with one of the pie cards and one of the room elimination cards.

2) Place the pouch in the Accusation Room and set the "Clue" card counter to zero.

3) Take the remaining Clue cards and 36 "Splat Cards", shuffle thoroughly, and distribute 6 cards into each of the nine rooms.

4) Take the remaining action cards, including the "Strip" cards if desired, shuffle thoroughly, and place in a convenient location at the side of the game board. This is the "Remaining Card Deck"

5) Use an appropriate method for selecting the first player.

Taking One's Turn
1) To start the turn a player rolls the die, and moves his or her token one square for each pip on the die by whatever path the player chooses.

2) If, during movement, a player's token is on the square next to the opening to a room with movement left, the player may enter the room which ends the movement.

3) If a player begins the turn in one of the 4 corner rooms (Conservatory, Study, Lounge, Kitchen), the player may use his or her movement to use the secret passage (Conservatory Lounge; Study Kitchen)

4) If a player enters a room, he or she may draw the top card from the deck in that room. and look at it. If a player chooses not to draw a card, the player's turn is over. The turn moves clockwise. A player may not draw from a given room again without first drawing a card for a different room.

5) If a player draws a "Clue" card, he or she places the card face down in his or her hand and increases the "Clue" card counter by one. This ends the turn unless it's the last "Clue" card (see below).

6) If a player draws an "Action Card", he or she places it face up on the table. Then the following things happen: 1) the action is carried out to the extent possible, 2) the action card is returned to the deck in that room. 3) if there are any cards left in the "Remaining Card Deck", then, without being revealed, the top card from that deck is also added the room deck. 4) the room deck is shuffled and put back in the room, and 5) the turn passes to the left

7) If the player draws a "Splat" card, the opponents use whatever method they deem appropriate to determine who gets to throw or smoosh a pie into the player's face.

8) If the player draws a "Strip" card (if used), then the player removes an article of clothing unless already naked.

9) If the player draws a "Reveal" card, then he or she chooses one of his or her hand cards and turns it face up. After the other players have had the chance to note what card it is, the card is removed from the game. It is useful to use 3 face-down piles to sort the "Clue" cards for the next game. If the player doesn't have a card in this or her hand at the time, then there is no effect.

10) If the player draws an "All Reveal" card, then all of the players choose a card to reveal. The revealed cards are discarded after they have been noted. A player that doesn't have a hand card isn't affected.

11) At any time during the game, if allowed by the movement rules, a player may enter the "Accusation Room" to make an accusation. To make an accusation, the player writes down who he or she thinks is the character who smooshed the pie in Mr. Boddy's face and in what room. If the player is correct, he or she reveals both the cards and the slip of paper with his or her accusation. If the player is incorrect, the player returns the cards to the pouch, hides or destroys the accusation, leans his or her token on the side, and retires from the game.

12) When a player draws the last (18th) "Clue" card, the following things happen: 1) Starting with the opponent on the player's left and moving clockwise, the players start revealing "Clue" cards one at a time until only one person remains with "Clue" cards; 2) the room cards, which are all now action cards, are gathered together, shuffled, and placed in the "Accusation Room", 3) the players head by normal movement to the "Accusation Room"; once there, they do not move again, 4) Since the "Accusation Room" now has cards, a player may choose to draw a card while in there, and may continue to do so on consecutive turns. A player may also make an accusation as described above.

13) A player wins either by making a correct accusation or by having all of his or her opponents make incorrect ones.


Note: The game can easily be adapted for any sort of WAM by simply changing the "Splat" into other types of WAM cards.