Splosh 'n' Go: delightfully simple, the clue's in the name.

This is for girls who enjoy the thrill of being on the receiving end of mess: food, pies, paint and gunge.

Wherever you are in the UK, here's a mobile, pop-up 'splosh salon', ready to meet your needs. Sessions usually take place at a hotel. You just turn up, splosh - and go!

Feedback from satisfied UMD customers (ask for references!):

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"Just to say a huge thank you for tonight, it's still sinking in what actually happened! Wow, I certainly got it, didn't I ? The Sploshngo salon experience is first class. I really do appreciate all your time and effort and brilliant ideas, and probably going out of your way to actually make it happen, where did that time go? Another thing thanks for just accepting me as me, you really are lovely and a gentleman." - Aug 2021

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"From the moment I arrived at the SploshnGo mobile salon, I knew I was in the right hands. Sit back to be pampered the SploshNgo way. All treatments are tailored to the customer, nothing is too much trouble: from a full head of margarine, to having your shoes filled, the list is endless. I will be booking in for another treatment very soon. It was bloody wonderful." - Aug 2021.

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"Let the mind boggle as it processes the last few hours. It felt completely in the moment, once the door shut nothing mattered in the outside world! Thank you for being a gentleman, gracious and a lot of fun! Should an opportunity arise to ruin me further, keep me posted...anyone would think I enjoyed Monday night rather too much!" - Oct 2023.

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My history: I've been getting messy since my teens. It's a fetish, it's fun and life is too short to worry otherwise. I can't turn off what turns me on.

My messy sessions involve: down-to-earth fun with a like-minded, open-minded soul. Anything from a few playful pies, a messy shampooing, or knickers filled to the brim...to a full-on, head-to-toe, 'make me unrecognisable' trashing, or the ultimate bodypaint!

I'm also happy to have the tables turned: put me on the receiving end if you've never had the chance to mess someone yourself. Check out my albums for an example.

My ideal session: as a tall, dark and handsome (at least in custard!) guy, if you're a long-haired girl who revels in messy stockings (and loves heels), adores extreme hair treatments, goes wild for firmly planted pies and loves applying chance (via a roll of the dice) to a session, then this is for you. Submissives especially welcome.

Splosh N Go salon sessions don't involve: sex. This is all about the mess. Be as clothed or as unclothed as you like...or follow other customers and trust the dice to decide.

Interested? DM me, and we can talk about what you would want from your ideal session.