The other week I was pied in the face for the first time by my girlfriend. I ended up smelling like fresh cream for days! What are the best alternatives that don't have a smell that clings?

I would honestly love a video or recording of someone even just talking about a scenario using the words 'gunk, slop, gunge, goo, ooze and splat', things like that. Ideally in an English accent and humiliating the listener. If anyone could ever fulf...