One of the things that I think most guys experience on the this forum is the sometimes disappointment of not getting female responses regarding wam. Who couldn't understand why? The dynamics of a forum like this is open; meaning that you have some really great people here, but you can also have just the opposite.
It was awesome reading the experience of two forum members on here, one female who is married was seeking a male wam partner for a non sexual wam experience. I will leave their names out because I have not ask permission from them to do so. It was cool because to make a long story short they hooked up and had a great time after lot's of deliberation between the two of them.
Hopefully this experience by these two can be a model of the fact that yes, you can find guys here if you are a women who just want to gunge or pie you with no sex involved. The key is get comfortable first, trust your instincts and time is your friend if you want to make sure you will have a great experience and want to come back for more. Last thought on the topic; keep communicating when you get together to establish boundaries and respect both peoples wishes to make the adventure as fun as possible.
Just my two cents, feel free to comment. It would be fun reading what you have to say about the issue from both male and female perspectives.

There's a whole long thread talking about the meet up, and yes, I am surprised that such stuff would happen off the UMD boards. It seems like the personal section is just shouting into the void and I wrote it off a long time ago.

try being a Tgirl, most guys run a mile, not all of us are gay and want a quick tin of custard and a shag !

One of the people the topic starter is on about I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's me I have no problem with them mentioning my name at all the way I see it wam is a sexual fetish's and like may blokes long time ago I would love nothing for a female to get messy with me and have sex however I appreciate wam as not just a sexual fetish but a bit of fun a way of relaxing not as much as a sexual thing and once people get into that mindset they will have more luck I will get messy with anyone male female transgender cross dresser it don't matter to me end of day we are only human and enjoy the same thing

I am going to be patronising here but there seems to be some very clear truths and rules around this. Please speak up if you think any of these are wrong or can add to them. These are written from a male perspective (though I might be 2 chihuahuas and a penguin in a trench coat):

There are women into WAM (yes, fewer than men) but this is the internet so idiots exist and scare them off or make women really worry about meeting up. If you are looking for a meet up and you find yourself talking to a receptive woman:

1. Be empathetic; She is a lot more nervous than you (due to idiots and safety concerns) so do everything in your power to reassure and be safe.
2. You don't owe each other anything, ever, at any time. You both have the right to back out, say sorry, No, at any time.
3. Practice "Enthusiastic consent", it makes everything feel safer.
4. Chatting for ages is good, it means that you get to know each other. Check out other social media profiles, meet in person first. It all adds to the trust which is lacking from an anonymous profile pic.
5. Make it easier for all those involved. If you can travel to them, do so, if you can book hotels do so. Logistics in meeting is hard enough, doubly so with WAM materials!
6. If in doubt, ask them what they want! What they would prefer? What is best for them? Better to ask and look a fool than act and remove all doubt.
7. If it doesn't work out you lose nothing so don't get angry, you could have gained a friend along the way.
8. There will be scammers, there are always those trying to make money or just upsetting people. Be alert but these are the reasons to build trust and meet up first.
9. Set all boundaries from the beginning, make sure there are no grey areas.

Yours
Rev Silver Sea: Preaching to the converted but knowing there are those out there confused as to why it "just doesn't happen".

Additional: I have met up with a few people from here and fetlife but never had a session because of 2 (no spark) and 5 (just couldn't make it happen). The intended meet-ups where for non-sexual mess as I am grey-sexual anyway.

I have yet to get annoyed that it didn't happen and I will always keep trying.

I want to meet up with you, not to get messy but you just seem like an awesome person Give me a shout if your ever Cambridge way and need a room or fancy a drink on me...


...well not ON me but, you know.

I am a awesome person I will pop a message later

Pretty much everything you have put is how I went about this session as I knew the other person was female I wanted them to be as comfortable as possible explained many times if they wanted to back out it was fine we could just sit in a pub and chill I wasn't fussed as I knew I would be getting messy regardless be it with someone or on my own

As I stated on another post a messy friend will last longer than messy sex

No because my embroidery skills are he same as my brain surgery skills i.e non extistant

Too true it's just how I see getting messy

I will point out the whole session from hotel to gunge custard etc apart from a trifle and two cakes was all paid for by me as I was going to get messy regardless it was just a stroke of luck that I was approached by the female in question that she wanted to get messy

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Its hard for a female who likes wam to take it further when it comes to male and female waming together.There are so many people you can't trust so this makes it harder for the female,i think if you want to wam together it takes time get to know each other work on trust develop the relationship then move on. Im sure there are loads of females out there that want to get messy with a male and male with a female,its taking the first step of trust

Yes, yes, and all the rest of my yes. Guess what, if you're genuine, open, and not a creep you can make a lot of friends. But consider it like this, the level of WAM relationship you have is probably going to mirror the kind of relationship you have with this person out of WAM. Over the years, I've become friends with some of the model producers here, we chat here and outside, we commiserate over each other's problems and challenges in life, we send each other stuff, and sometimes maybe even see each other. But WAM is a very sexual, or at the VERY least sensual thing for me. So a messy meetup is simply out of the question.

Everyone's experience is going to be as different as the number of stars in the sky.

I'm late to this, but as a lady, I want to say that Silver_sea and peewee's approach will get you everywhere. Even outside of WAM-specific meetups, being kind, patient, courteous, and respectful towards women will open many, many doors for you.

Guys, be real and realize how super intimidating it is for women to meet random strangers off the internet in ANY context. You have to build trust and rapport first, and that starts with establishing a connection and a friendship without pressure or expectation of return.

I have had years-long friendships with people here, many of whom I know and trust intimately, but that did not happen overnight.

Ugh, but kittenish, pretending not to be a creeper is SO HARD!

You stay just as you are, my little creeper!!

Was wondering if it would be feasible to have local/regional meetups in the US. Like in the PNW region where I live, a big metro area like Seattle or Portland could serve as a regional location.

The biggest glaring difference between the WAM community and the local BDSM community that I hang out with is that the BDSM/kink community actually have a good representation of women (almost 50%). Why is that?

What are WAMmers doing differently or wrongly? I get the creeps argument, but there are creeps and perverts in every community. Are we missing something?

Does this count?

There is definitely an advantage to being gay (or bi with a strong gay lean in my case since I don't believe in absolutes). We aren't significantly outnumbered gender-wsise, and I think gays in general are a bit more kink oriented and open sexually, but it still presents challenges.

You get a very narrow window into someone via purely online interaction so it's hard to generate that comfort level and trust necessary to move forward. It's helpful (thought not always completely necessary) to have a base level of attraction. Not from a dating level perspective, but at least a "you're within my range of attraction" kind of thing.

I've personally only met up with others 6 times in my life. One was my first gay/wam experience with others when I was in my 20s and weirded me out from meeting with folks for a while, and it had nothing to do with the gentleman involved as they were very respectful, didn't push me, and arranged everything. I was just young and naive and still in "what the heck am I doing" mode. I try to be cognizant of that when talking to someone significantly younger than me. 2 others were friends in real life before we realized we both had a wam interest. My meeting with MuddyMcMudd in Houston was 8 years in the making and we met each other in person once first in a non wam setting. Another one I had talked with for a long time prior to meeting up. Really only one time could be considered a "hookup" type deal, and it's not a real comfort level for me.

A few helpful tips for those hoping to possibly meet up with someone on here.

1. Be respectful. Be respectful. Be respectful. I can't stress this one enough. There is already anxiety with this, even with those of use more experienced. Don't be too forward, demanding, pressuring, or entitled. I've seen folks on here who seemingly the instant someone posts content respond along the lines of "I want to put my dick in you" every time. Even for a sex-based site, that's a bit forward and off-putting. I've also experienced everything from someone implying getting messy with them was a privilege for me, folks backing out after buying hundres of $$ worth of supplies, complaints after posting (solo) content that I didn't involve them (maybe say "hey, nice new content. Let me know if you go again, I'd love to come" instead), entitled requests that I arrange/host everything for them, and many awkward/desperate sounding propositions.

2. Don't be in a rush. While keeping #1 in mind, build a rapport with someone. See if there is mutual interest without being demanding or pushy. Accept no or maybe as an answer. Accept that even yes as an answer it still might be hard to work things out (again, 8 years for me an Muddy to get together and we liked each other and talked often).

3. Be willing to contribute. I fully remember what it was like to be young with limited funds and I appreciate what the guys who arranged my first wam with others did, so I'm willing to bear the brunt sometimes. I don't expect things to always have to be 50/50. There are other ways to help out of you aren't financing. Offer to drive. Offer to help setup and cleanup. Offer the place to host if you are able. Above all else, be sure to say thank you. It goes a long way.

4. Lastly, be understanding. I WAM maybe 3 to 5 times a year. Maybe, just maybe 1 or 2 of those are non-solo. Since I started doing stuff again back in 2012 after a long hiatus, it's been 5 times total with others. The community hear is great and it's wonderful to know others are into what you are and to be able to share content, but a shared kink does not automatically mean we all want to get with each other any more than you'd invite everyone who likes the same sports team you do to your house for a BBQ. It's a starting point of conversation, not an ending point.

Anyway, that's my $.02. Good luck to you all and I sincerely do hope all of you have your dream WAM experience at some point.

Yeah, I've noticed this too. I'm mostly a BDSM-er and only from time to time a WAM-er, and the demographic skew and difference is very striking to me as well. I think there's probably a bunch of elements, off the top of my head...

1) BDSM - or at least, what people think BDSM entails! - is far more acceptable now than it has ever been. Even totally vanilla people will make kink jokes, various films and books (including Those That Will Not Be Named) have made far more popular certain aspects of BDSM. It has, to some extent, been normalised. Also, lots of studies suggest strongly that elements of BDSM are probably the most common "kink" out there, whereas I don't know of any data whatsoever on the commonalities of WAM. That said, though, I think the relatively small size of this website, i.e. the biggest WAM site on the planet, tells us a lot. Even when we accommodate for people scared off by creepers, I think it is fair to say this is just a far rarer kink. What I think all this means is that the percentage of women (which is to say, the demographic most likely to be shamed for liking or exploring sex) who are going to be comfortable exploring a common instead of a rare kink is going to be greater; there are far more support mechanisms and a far greater sense of public shaming of creepers in BDSM (although it's not perfect, of course); and, also, so many more women will have been introdued to BDSM ideas compared to WAM, which will have helped overcome the shame of sex that we (in a societal sense) still inculcate in girls so much more than boys. I don't think any of these by themselves are huge elements, but combined, I think they add up to quite a lot.

2) UMD is a strange site! I don't mean this as a criticism, of course, but the combination of adult content, forums, "dating", discussion, knowledge-sharing, etc, is pretty unique for a sex-related online community. I've never come across anything else like it except FetLife, but that's a very different platform in many ways. But the important thing is that UMD is a platform that is strongly focused on female content production (as in, women starring), and I think that defines and shapes the kinds of interactions we expect to have here to a strong extent, and in a way that isn't necessarily conducive to welcoming in women who might be interested.

3) Whereas a lot of BDSM models and personalities are very vocal about the fact they *enjoy* it in their personal lives, they give talks, tour, etc etc... the same really isn't the case for WAM at all. I don't think I've ever seen a "sex workshop" about WAM, whereas I've seen advertisements for roughly a million BDSM ones. I don't think there is a single "big name WAMmer" who has a Wikipedia page, for instance, whereas there are tons of BDSM educators. Again, this then connects to the first point: there are no women WAM personalities telling the world how great their unusual sex life is! We have dozens, hundreds of women in BDSM doing that (there are more visible female BDSM personalities than male BDSM personalities!), but none in WAM. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why - but it's another big difference.

I recommend a Kubaton Keychain. It's much more stable and effective, plus you have a good blunt end to swing down with.

That is not without merit, but I would suggest a Glock 19 or maybe a Glock 43- because as Robert Heinlein once wrote, "A well-armed society is a polite society..." and while you shouldn't have to be afraid of people because many people are just trying to be more or less decent human beings who just don't want to live and die alone, there ARE the occasional kooks out there who warrant having the means to protect yourself available- and much like you can't wait until your car is upside down and on fire to call the Geico gecko and get a car insurance quote, by the moment you NEED a gun to defend yourself, it's usually too late to think "Maybe I should consider getting a gun and learning how to shoot it?" There is typically a disparity of force between the average sized woman and the average sized man, and Sam Colt's revolvers didn't get the nickname "the great equalizer" without a reason. Just something to consider for ANY of the women on this forum, from a guy who was a licensed gun dealer for about 8 years. If I can be of any assistance in questions about them, please feel free to ask (even though I can no longer sell them since I am not a licensed dealer anymore).

Alternately you could buy a taser and not rely on the implicit threat of lethal force to be the bottom line in your social interactions with other members of civil society

Only just spotted this thread, and OMG...lol!

Sploshing was the first fetish I realised I had (quickly follwed by BDSM as I learnt more about the fetish community). Then I was a single female, & had no idea how to meet fellow sploshers - thank you internet! I have made many friends on UMD, Splosh and Fetlife, male/female & everyone inbetween. In those single days I would hook up with guys I had bedriended and have non sexual messy sessions - great fun & I never once fealt threatened or at risk, because I would meet them beforehand on neutral territory and in a 'nilla setting.

Now I have a steady partner who indulges in my messy pastimes, as well as being my Dom. He has no problems about me playing with other guys as it's all platonic. Although I rarely get messy nowadays, I still attend splunches and events when I can.

I think, like others have said, that it's only natural for single women to be cautious about meeting up with guys for a session - who in their right mind wouldn't? Maybe there is more of a stigma about ladies liking to splosh?? Who knows??? As I have said in other forums - the lack of female participation in organised events is apparent, which is such a shame. What if someone could organise a girls only event - would that bring ladies out of hiding???

I'm more interested in helping the person in question be able to defend herself than worrying about "offending" someone else, and the person who attacks her is no longer "civil" in that regard nor is rape or murder considered a "social interaction" in any sense of polite society. Perhaps you have never seen a taser fail to stop an aggressor? But it DOES happen. And the ability to inflict lethal force IS the bottom line in being able to STOP an attacker when one is in fear for their life. The "implicit threat" of it may at times be what dissuades an attacker more than pepper spray, tasers, etc. I prefer to worry more about the victim than the "poor criminal/murderer/rapist' who would not find themselves on the business end of a firearm IF they had not decided that the person they chose to attack seemed a potentially easy target that they thought they could get away with harming due to disparity of force.

But hey; if that route is what YOU choose to take in your own choice of self defense plans, that is your decision. MY choice is to have the most effective tools to resolve the problem, should it come up, that I am capable of using. And the OP should have the right to make the same choice for herself, in either case.

I will add this- IF a person chooses a taser, pepper spray, etc. as their means of self defense, they need to train with it and to be VERY aware of the limitations of its effectiveness. Even handguns are not always 100% effective depending on the physique and drug influence of the attacker, the caliber and load of the handgun, and above all else, the shot placement (where you hit him). But IF you are in a justifiable self-defense situation, a well made handgun with quality self-defense ammo in 9mm (or larger) is going to be FAR more effective at Stopping an attacker than a taser (and don't panic and miss your first shot with one of those, as opposed to between 8 to 20 rounds in a magazine) and pepper spray may run him off, OR it may just piss him off enough that he makes you "pay" for it instead.

It's a personal choice, and guns may not be for everyone. If you are unable to control your own emotions and too immature to accept the responsibility that comes with carrying a firearm (or if you are not legally able to do so) then other options may be the limitations of your choices. But not doing so because some other people think you "shouldn't be allowed to" is not a valid reason to choose to limit yourself in your ability to protect yourself.

Those who may agree with me are welcome to ask here or by PM about it. Those who do not are entitled to their own opinions and to their own choices, and best of luck to them should they ever find themselves in a position to have to rely on that choice to remain alive at the end of that day.

I doubt that many people are inclined to want to meet up for a pie fight with someone who turns out to be Zell Miller. But YOLO, I guess?