I don't think the OP deserves to be attacked or called names. He came to ask for help. He was very innocent in his asking and in his thought process. He came to us to ask for help and I think that there have been many really good points made, but there is no need to be nasty.

The OP did the right thing coming to us all here. I am glad there is a place for people like the OP to ask advice. We all have fantasies that we can get carried away with. Just be a little kinder, we are all here to help each other, not to bully people because what they thought was not actually a great idea.

We have all thought/done questionable things but usually without the intention of hurting anyone in the process. We all make mistakes and we are all here to learn from them. Chill out people, he hasn't done anything wrong by asking for advice. He did just the right thing.

Jessie xx
www.messy-jessie.com

This is no suitable comparison.
The random girl in the first post isnt the mother of the OP.
You are just using familiars in your example to make me feel more concerned, but as I said, this strategy doesnt work, because it is another case.



You notice it. It IS neither my mother nor a 8-year old child so you can abstain from using dirty rhetorics.



So you are. Instead of manipulating other peoples feelings, you could bring fair arguments. But it is a moral discussion, so it is nearly impossible to you to bring fair arguments.

I guess the consequence is, that you cant presume to judge someone as wrong.

Thank you Jessie that means a lot coming from you ^_^

Here are my thoughts from reading this thread:

If I were an average girl who made a video and posted it online (be it a charity video, or something else completely innocent) and I later discovered that someone out there had a fetish that related to the content and was getting off on it... I may be a bit creeped out by it, but there's always gonna be someone out there who gets off on something I might think is 'weird'. I'd probably think it's a bit creepy, but I wouldn't let it bother me. It was my choice to make the video and I would stand by my reasons for that. However, if I'd made the video for someone who had specifically requested it and I later found out that that person had this fetish and was using it as a wank movie, I would feel used, violated and dirty (in a bad way!). If he'd asked me to make it because it was his fetish, I would have had the option to say 'yes' or 'no'. It's about consent.

Re. the heels example: If I wore heels around the office and found out someone was getting a hard-on over it I'd pass them off as weird, but it wouldn't make me stop wearing them, as it's my choice. If a guy in the office gave me some heels as a present and asked me to wear them, and I later found out he was slipping off to the toilets to wank over a picture he'd taken of me in them, I'd feel pretty sick and never wear them again.

Dating is a completely different ball game to sexual intentions. You might tell a white lie to date someone, hell I've done it! We got on well and ended up in a sexual relationship - win! Everything that was for sexual kicks in our relationship was honest and open. If I'd talked him into pouring gunge over himself for a charity video and then used it purely for wanking over, I would have been morally wrong. Telling a white lie to get someone to do something you get off on, without them knowing it's for your sexual kicks is definitely wrong!

IllgetUdirty&lickUclean the only way your ikea story could be a reasonable comparison is if your new neighbour had a sexual fetish for watching men build flat-pack furniture. Only building flat-pack furniture is a fairly every-day thing that you probably wouldn't think twice about doing. So actually, it's not a reasonable comparison at all.

Finally, I completely agree with Jessie - the OP was right to ask the question. He's shown responsibility and emotional intelligence by asking for advice before acting in a way that would potentially really upset someone.

Peace

JnC x

OK, so I go to Mud Volleyball tournaments. I try not to be a creeper, not to get noticable woody. I play in the mud, join in on mud fights or just lounge around and enjoy. Is it OK if I go there? I enjoy myself while I'm there, but don't enjoy myself, enjoy myself.

Basically you're worse than Hitler. (but since I don't claim my

Somebody eliminated Bob before he could finish the post....

Don't use and trick ANYBODY. Period.

*browses through topic*

Dear me.

So right off the bat, I'd say definitely don't do it. While it's clear that you didn't have any malicious intent of course, even the little things like this that can seem completely innocuous can be rather less so when you step back to look at it all - in the end, it would be tricking someone into fulfilling a fetish fantasy, without them realizing it (and if they ever did realize it, either they might be into it, or they might be utterly freaked out and call the cops).

With that said, to anyone who is totally all "you chauvinist pig sh*t f*cker sexist woman abuse blah blah blah", I think it's pretty clear OP isn't anything like that. One bad idea does not a misogynist make. He asked the question, he learned the answer, and now it won't happen. Everyone's educated, bad outcomes are averted, and we can all go home safely. So let's all put away the katanas and flails and take a couple deep breaths.