Ya know I am kinda curious what most of the men in here really, really think about women. I am now in my 60's been married 3 times and had 7 live-in girlfriends. 4 of those women were in the adult business, either a stripper, porn star or fetish model. After becoming a producer of smut I had/have a real hard time dating regular women, my choices? Don't tell em or hope that they are okay with it. 9 out of 10 times they are not okay with it. With a divorce rate at 60%+ the birth rate in the negatives, where are relationships going in the years to come?

On a Personal note: I am a very independent man, I fly light planes, build and ride Custom Harley's and I love to shoot guns. My job is intense and I have always been very successful financially. So why am I telling you all this crap? Well recently broke up with the lady who owns Messy Fun, known her for a long time. After 2 years of dating it went nowhere and I finally find out she was lying to me about something that effected us as a couple so of course it ended.

When we look at the psychology of WAM and relationships in general WAM is several different needs for each type of guy. In truth most of my successful relationships have been D/S just works for me I guess. So part of the reason I personally like WAM is the Sensations, how the girl looks and it breaks down any barriers to really good free mind sex in my opinion. Part of it is also fucking up a beautiful woman, to sexy and lofty for me, but messed up she is back down at my level. Lets see what you guys want or don't want. Simply curious, its all anonymous so answer honestly please.

Phil

"in the years to come?" I'm pretty sure the picture *MIGHT* be VERY different depending on how far into the future you might care to peek?...5, 10, 20 years from now. It seems like the future is always VERY surprising!

What kind of relationship is "D/S" ? discrete sex? (not familiar with that designator...)

And taking some time to write this reply...with one other vote, my choice is no longer 100% guessable! But truthfully, i've been all of the categories at different times in my life (i am 47 now) *EXCEPT* for "married for years but WAM*less sex"

A D/S relationship is a 24/7 Dominant Submissive kinda deal. Lot of people play the rolls but a D/S relationship is started that way and works for many people. Its particularly good for a person who hates making decisions or procrastinates all the time, i.e. a submissive. Obviously there is a lot more to it than that, but basically that's it.

Phil

Planes, guns and messy women. That's pretty much my perfect combo right there.

I'm stuck with the awkward scenario of being married to a woman I love but who doesn't love WAM, and the net result is she hardly wants sex at all - perhaps it's the pressure of knowing I have a fetish that isn't being addressed, I don't know.

So I don't want to break up because I can't stop loving her, but I feel like I'm doomed to never enjoy real sexual fulfillment with her either. It's confusing!

Man that's a heavy one. Anyone know a good joke to lighten the mood!!???

If I were with a woman, I'd prefer her
Vegan, but not spiritual or selfish health vegan, but vegan for animals' health
(though no reason we'd have to eat together - I never ate with my 4th girlfriend)
Atheist.
Antinatalist.

Actually, the last woman I had a one-time sex affair with is adamantly animal rights vegan
& atheist, but she had had biological children previously. So I can't call her an Antinatalist.
She is a trucker. She's been a long-haul trucker since I've known her in 2009.
Which is cool. I feel bad for her working so hard.

But, frankly, I'm not looking.
Mainly because I'm too damned arthritic & in chronic pain to make love to a woman.
So, if I got together with a woman, it would have to be an intellectual relationship.
If all my RA went magically went away, sure, I'd love hot sex.
But, even Anglefan's & Messygirl's videos wear my wrists out too much,
if you know what I'd mean.

Let me be more blunt about the "intellectual" part:
I don't mean sitting around reading high-class plays & philosophy.
Nothing wrong with that.
But, when not venting on YouTube, my math research is my life.
So, by "intellectual relationship" I really crave sort of hardcore creative work relationship
that ALL creative peoples in ANY discipline have working as part of a TEAM:
e.g. a great rock band, Pixar animation, SpaceX:
that rare lightning-in-a-bottle all working together on the same
project goal - that often lasts for only a decade but sometimes can blossom
into a corporation that lasts for centuries.

My interest is not in any form of entertainment but in advanced technology,
with math at its core.

If my creative partner happens to be a woman, all the better!
But that's what I really crave.

So, yeah --- unrealistic expectations.

Same.

Well put.

I have been married to the same lady for almost 31 years. You don't do that without some compromises and learning. Earlier in our marriage I realized there was a wider world out there and it led to some fooling around with ladies who were all wonderful. I learned that while that's fun it's not all of life. Over time and kids and many typical shared travails I have realized I'm living with someone I love and I can grow old with. In my case I doubt there is any relationship that would be completely fulfilling sexually. It really becomes a selfish thing because as generous as some ladies are I have the feeling I'd just keep wanting more. Don't confuse your partner with a sex toy. If the completely perfect mate exists out there then it's like searching for the perfect snowflake. After a while you just get cold. I'm gonna sit by the fire with more than a dog.

I used to think I'd be single for the rest of my life. Being both asexual and with a very high fetish drive, I assumed would rule out relationships. In realty of course life had other plans, and Lady J and I are now very much together, and we both believe it's long term. We also both totallty accept each other as we are, which includes her having no problem at all with my wam fetish or the ongoing wam business, without her I'd never have started it so she takes a pride in what it's grown into, she accepts that I shoot scenes with other models, buy scenes from other producers, and get off on them, because my fetish drive is entirely unrelated to anything relationship-wise. She also has no problem with me having female friends, and I'm happy for her to have guy friends. Neither of us has any desire to control or restrict the other - "when you love someone, set them free." And she'll be involved in the sites, both occasinally appearing in scenes, and behind the scenes.

Having a partner who totally accepts your sexuality and fetishes is unbelievably liberating. We are always totally honest with each other, no lies, not even "white" ones, better to occasionally have an awkward conversation than in any way break our trust. Ok, it's only 10 months into the actual relationship but we've been good friends for fifteen years, so we know and understand each other fairly well. I've always thought a partner should be one of your best mates, regardless of gender.

So in answer to Phil's original question, a friend, a best mate, an equal partner, and someone who accepts me as me, and who I accept as her.

I think there are all kinds of women, it is who you are that determines which ones are attracted to you and which ones you are attracted to. So, in a way, it is never really about the women, it is instead about you...

My take on this is that you can't really change the road you're on. Some folks are unable to form and sustain relationships with others while others are instead able to do so. Being a fetishist makes it harder but there are plenty of fetishists who have a good relationship with their partner. I am not one of the lucky ones...

I am NOT accusing anybody here at the UMD of doing this,
but, for those who do do this,
let's start by not brainlessly talking about (implied all) women
as some monolithically-thinking group on all issues.

Pisses me off that that's the way Saturday Night Live (SNL),
for example, thinks about all women. But, then, this is the same
show that illogically thinks you have "only 2 choices for President".

Last night during NBC's 10pm rerun of SNL,
they aired a show from 20001014 hosted by Kate Hudson & Radiohead.
During the closeout, the lead singer of Radiohead held a sign "Let Ralph Debate!"
My how things have changed in 20 years.