Why are SOME people on here such selfish insecure assholes! After friending many good people on here, I have come come across a few selfish assholes. After they find out I have my own private mud pit at my home, they ask if they could come and play in it. After many back and forth IM's, I do invite them over. It takes a lot of energy and money on my part, plus a lot of time. Then to find out the assholes come up with excuses like streptococcus to say they can't come that day. I accept their excuse, and then spend more energy (I'm 61 and somewhat handicapped) to put everything away. I invite them a second time, they accept, make all kinds of plans, then the day before they are to arrive, they BLOCK ME.
LOOK ASSHOLE, JUST HAVE THE BALLS TO SAY IVE GOT COLD FEET. I WENT TO A LOT OF TROUBLE FOR YOU, AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET. FUCK YOU,

Its infuriating, i once booked a hotel room in LONDON to meet up with a guy and he simply didnt turn up. blocked me from messaging etc I'm sure its happened to a lot of people on here

Firstly, kudos to you for having the benefit of having your own mudpit at home. I can imagine that the amount of effort & upkeep to maintain it isn't a simple task.

I feel for your plight when people up and ghost out or find some reason to squelch out of engaging after they have been given the opportunity to do so. There are plenty of people that would absolutely be smitten at having the chance to play in that sort of experience, that a small smattering of people could end up ruining it for the rest of us.

As crazy as it might sound, have you considered doing some sort of good-faith deposit for anyone that makes overtures to come over? Sometimes the token commitment of money (that ends up being wholly/partially refunded when they show up) will eliminate the likelihood of something like this happening in the future. Your time is certainly worth money, so it only seems fair that anyone willing to waste yours might at well compensate you for it.

Also, consider red-listing anyone that stands you up and/or blocks you as the way you've described. There are plenty of great people here on the site and frankly, nobody needs that sort of negativity to deal with.

Cheers to you and enjoy the coming warmer weather.

This is relatable. I've never understood the mentality of people who do this, or what benefit it gives them.

When I've had people approach me for a meet up (I can host) most times it amounts to nothing. It's one thing when the arranging process goes cold, they stop responding to messages or there's suddenly 101 excuses as to why they can't make it.

However, what absolutely boils my p*ss are the ones who just outright lie about wanting to meet and the first you know that your time and effort has been wasted is when the agreed arrival time comes and goes and you can't raise a response from the person. Zero consideration about time, effort and money that's gone into preparing, as if all you have to do is click your fingers and hey-presto everything is set up. Or maybe they are aware of the time, effort and money and they just get off on being a c**nt.

How I totally agree. I had one arsehole who wanted to visit and we agreed a day and a time. He even sent me messages to say he was on his way, etc, etc, but he never arrived. When I tried contacting.... nothing...... Luckily somewhere down the line, he had forgotten that he had given me his address so I could send something to him and also his home phone number. He did tell me he lived on his own, etc, etc. After numerous unanswered calls, I finally got one..... he did not live on his own he lived with his mother!! Then he said on his way up the motorway his car broke down and cost him nearly £100 to get towed off and repaired!! Funny as we were supposedly in contact as he was 'on his way' that he could not tell me that at the time and then tried to cut all ties!! Later I found others who also knew him who suffered even worse by being invited to visit so had gone down by train to find no-one at the station to meet and then they were blocked!!

It is obviously online bravado, and people get momentarily horny only for the feeling to subside later to the point of not needing to do it. Bit like post masterbation, the horny feelings leave you.
Shame peoole do that but it happens a lot unless ypubare a stunning looking woman!

I've been there, there are times I have the huge desire, huge motivation, but then yay- you cum and you get back to reality and say "Maybe I shoudn't drive for 15 hours each way to get a session"
I think having a fantasy and living in reality can be hard sometimes. I've tried very hard to make it clear if it just chat and to be cautious if I'm approaching sessions and the circumstances could change. What that person did to the author is not cool at all, and I can only imagine how annoying and discouraging it is. I've had some great experiences meeting people and I'm glad they have been cool. I know I have been on the wrong side of it too and bailed on sessions and acted like a jerk. I have never ghosted someone for a session that was planned. I've really tried hard to temper my fantasies, reality, and expectations.
I also try to find people who post pictures, have done sessions so they can understand what sessions entail. The planning, clean up, etc.
So yay- thats harsh what they did and you have ever right to be upset. I hope they realize they were bad, and really think twice before they say hey let's get a session.

Sludge, I'm sorry you've had that experience. It is infuriating. And, it's happened to many of us.
They are what one guy calls "one handed typists." As they look at someone else's photos their other hand is down their pants.
One clue that they will NEVER meet in person is that they don't have any of their own photos. Also, that they have not met anyone else. One can easily sniff out the guys that are bogus.
-D.

It can be tough. I've had some really good experiences that I still cherish, but also have had the couple of entitled folks. Some of it can be age related and the second guessing of yourself if it's your first time with someone else. I can remember what that was like when I was that age and having my first time with someone hosting, so I try to give a bit of leeway there. That said, I've had someone back-out, back-in again, state I was lucky to have them there after making the typical in the heat of the moment "you're hot" kind of comment, never a word of thanks, and then immediately ask when I would set something up for them again. Others will just angle for me to reveal spot locations, then get mad when I say that I don't reveal specific locations, even though I will point to general areas where you can search and find via Google map satellite views.

I think, particularly for those of us who post a fair amount of content, there is an assumption that we are always meeting up with people and doing tons of sessions. For me personally though, I can still count the people I've met up with without running out of fingers and barely going over one hand. The past 4 years I've been out like 5 total times.

So in general it's really hard to do meetups. And the few meetups I'm able to do I have to balance with folks I've met previously and clicked with and would like to meet up again, along with the occasional new person I would like to meet up with as well.

That said, I don't want to discourage folks new to this from reaching out. I've been there before and I know it's hard. Like the original poster said, we will understand if you get cold feet. Just be honest and try to either commit or back out prior to the host expending a bunch of money and effort.

DUDE. This is like 90% of my WAM experience in a nutshell.

My first UMD-related meetup, I was nervous AF. I think I was 19 and new to exploring. Had never done ANYTHING like what I knew was wanted. And I don't think it was a terrible experience all the way around, but he was super patient and understanding and I'm sure sacrificed a lot of wants to get the itch scratched. Gary, if you're reading this, no one still has pied me like you!

I've had bad experiences with people on this site and I've had an amazing session that I'd chase after that sequel for (what up, Tarran?).

But seriously, it was so much easier in college giving people the run around of "oh, this is for a psych experiment" and I'd work an extra shift just to pay them. I had a few where it was lost bet scenarios, so they were into the humiliation. One time I found out one of my friends was super turned on by it, so that was a wild summer of exploring our sexuality.

Mudngunge: you wrote

"Because most WAMmers aren't very sexually mature, the communication and respect stuff goes out the window"

I'll have you know that we wammers have masturbated to hundreds (of photos/videos) of the finest models on the planet! So take THAT !

I first want to thank everyone for their overwhelming support. I just wanted this person, whom I won't name, to know what I went through for them. I want them to know I knew their first excuse was just that, an excuse. But I gave them the benefit of the doubt. And when I gave them a second chance, to have them accept, make promises, and then just block me. That just blows my mind. The first time, I went through A LOT of hard work for them. This time, not so much, as some of the work was already done. But as I mentioned earlier, I'm somewhat handicapped, (many back surgeries, hip replacement, knee replacement that is worse that before the surgery) I went through a lot of physical pain, just for them to up and block me.
This person was on here 5 hrs ago at the time oh this writing. I just wanted you to know all you had to do was send a simple messagesorry, I won't be there. But no, you had to be a dick about it.
But because of you, I've gotten many new friend requests from this, and I'm happy with the way things turned out. People are now maybe more cautious for people like you.
Again, thank you to all my new friends, thank you to everyone for your support, and maybe I will be seeing one of you in my mud pit one fine sunny day.

I had this happen to me with a local gunge guy. He had me buy a bunch of supplies, and we talked on the phone right before I went to his apartment. When I arrived there, he refused to answer the door. This was after I'd spent $15-20 on gunge. I was in contact with him later, and he apologized for chickening out. I didn't meet him though, and I doubt I ever would.

I think almost all of us have had a bad experience (no shows, ghosting, etc.) at one time or another. and I understand meeting a stranger for a messy session can be pretty frightening especially for those wammers just starting out to look for playmates. Things can happen suddenly - a car breaks down, a sudden accident, whatever - but it's only common courtesy to contact the other person ASAP to let them know what happened and possibly reschedule. We all have cellphones these days, after all, so it's not like decades ago when you had to find a pay phone to call and apologize. Offering to help cover the cost of any supplies already purchased goes a long way towards keeping communication lines open.

Here at Gunge Central in Houston, I've hosted quite often and have great and ongoing experiences - I can't recall someone blowing me off when they said they'd be over. I did have a no-show at the last minute in the UK, which would have involved a trip to the Midlands, but I learned later that the individual truly was seriously ill and couldn't make the meeting.

One final note. If the session is at my home, I wait to open the supplies, blow up the wading pool, spread the plastic, etc. before the person shows up. That way nothing is lost, and the person gets to help with the set-up, which also gives us a chance to chat face-to-face and learn more about each other. But yeah, some people are sitll assholes/arseholes.

I think it's because of today's time and people are no longer committed.
I also experience it in other hobbies. On Monday we talk about a bike tour on the coming Sunday. On Saturday you get a message: I can not tomorrow...
I can only give you one advice. Give your energy only to the people who are worth it.
I am often asked about my mud pits. If I then say no, then I hear nothing more from these people.
Not all are like that, but unfortunately many and more and more.

I hope you understand my English.

Many greetings from Switzerland

One wammer scammed, two wammers scammed, three wammers scammed! Ah ah ah ah ah!

I realised after posting that I put too many asterisks, but this reply just made it worth not changing it!

I guess we have all had these experiences. I have had more than one of them, often wasting hoursandhours of driving, prep, etc. Over time I have learned to "test" people for their actual commitment level. People actually intending to meet up will plan in advance, confirm when the date/time gets closer, and go outside of just sending messages to sending email, and talking on the phone even. Making arrangements hastily/quickly often leads to no-shows. I have reached a point where I only invest time/energy and (especially) $$$ with people that will actually follow through.

I don't have a private mud pit, but I do have quite a lot of time and energy into scouting out favourite spots by now, and hearing about this type of behaviour is one of the reasons I've been reticent about arranging meetups. I often worry I'll come across as cold or aloof with this approach, but, man, all this sounds like a headache!
I may well take out the occasional friend some time, who I've run into at events or got to know online and vibed with, but if anyone wonders why I'm not so forthcoming with messages asking for meetups, the kinds of thing in this thread are why.