So I've recently had a breakthrough with a partner of mine and they expressed their intrest in a 24/7 D/s relationship. Previously I had respected their boundaries with not liking anything messy, mud, cakes or anything but now that they are submitting they said that they like the degradation and humiliation of it.

That's where I'm lost, I like wam for the feeling of it. The textures, the senses, the filth, the outside aspect has very little to do with it. I want to make sure I'm using the mess in a way that fuffils their desire.

So I'm asking what types of mess are degrading and humiliating to you, and why?

Personally, it matters not necessarily what the mess is, it's more the sudden forfeit out of their control that's humiliating. It's also about how you do things. Degradation for me needs to remind you how weird the kink is while also engaging in it.

If you're looking for substances in particular, go with ones that aren't what the subject would usually go for. So if the person has a sweet tooth use savoury and vice versa. It's got to go against the grain to tap into that "this is mortifying, but hot" feeling.

I'm not actually into D/s play, but it is, in part, the "degrading" aspect of WAM that is a turn on for me. Things that emphasise that for me would be ruining clothes or hair with mess, particularly things like paint or glue. And having to do it to myself rather than simply have it done to me could also be particularly degrading. So, for example, being told to put on a nice outfit, and / or do my hair, and then being told to pour some black slime or paint over myself, one item of clothing at a time, finishing with my hair, would do it for me.

I couldn't agree more, while I'm not particularly into D/s play, being told, instructed what to do, and how, with no notice at all, and regardless of being in public or not, very embarrassing & degrading.

I've been sat in a pub before, and my wife has instructed me to pour a full pint onto my crotch, so I have to spend the rest of the night looking like I wet myself.

We've got ready to go out, then she's passed me some scissors, and instructed me to cut off various items at time, trousers, jackets, she doesn't care, and then blames me if we are late

Congratulations and also good luck! I want to amplify what others have said, add a few of my own ideas, and then, finally, answer the question you actually asked.

One of the big themes so far is the idea of an abrupt shift in contexts. This applies to a lot of D/s stuff, so you may already be familiar with the concept. With WAM specifically, people already mentioned two specific varities:

1. Starting in a situation where there are already WAMish substances involved, do something to change the context from non-sexual to sexual. parkvilla's example is a good one: a pub (or really any place that serves food or drink) is normally a non-sexual, non-humiliating environment, but you can use the substances there to introduce humiliation and thereby change it to a sexual context. Another common WAM example is messing someone with their own birthday cake: birthday celebrations aren't usually humiliating or sexual, but if you dunk someone's face in a cake then you introduce humiliation and the D/s element.

(Obligatory reminder: CHECK CAKES FOR DOWELS FIRST)

2. Starting in a situation where there aren't normally WAMish substances involved, you can introduce them. Reiver has a good example of getting dressed up and then having to ruin clothing with paint or what-have-you. Introducing mess into sex also counts. For example, if getting messy ruins your sub's orgasm, you can slop them right before they're about to come and knock them off the course of their orgasm, which should be humiliating enough; alternatively, if they're going to come anyway, then the experience of coming while messy might add humiliation all by itself. Other common WAM fantasies in this area involve getting messed at work, school, camp, etc.

(Another obligatory reminder here is to be sensitive about where and how you do this, because people have a legitimate expectation not to be overtly exposed to other people's kinks in public. Also, y'know, stuff involving kids is a no-no.)

As FatPieFan said, a lot of this can/should be personalized. You may have to experiment a little bit before you figure out what your sub actually finds humiliating. Is it specific scenes or setups? Is it the look of the mess or the look it produces? Is it smell? Is it duration? Is it the method of application or the place where the mess is applied? For example, I'm not turned on by foot stuff myself, but if your sub is sensitive about their feet (or has a thing about feet, or whatever) then it may make sense to get their feet messy. You get the idea.

Then there's the whole wide world of integrating WAM with regular D/s stuff. For example, yet another common setup is to offer them a rigged "opportunity" to avoid getting messy. This could take the form of an impossible challenge, a quiz with ludicrously difficult questions, a rigged lottery, and so on. Basically, if they think they have the ability to stay clean and then they fail, the humiliation of failing gets added to the humiliation of the mess that follows. If the "opportunity" takes the form of one of your usual non-messy D/s activities, that's one more level of humiliation that gets added on top. Similarly, WAM + bondage is a thing, WAM + exhibitionism is a thing (even if that just means posting the results online somewhere)... in short, with enough creativity, you can probably integrate WAM into just about any preexisting D/s activities you're already doing.

Now, as for your question, I'm a slime-and-pastries person myself. To me, it's super humiliating to have a pie or a cake rubbed into my face or to have a bucket of slime dumped over my head. I also get turned on by watching women take mess between their legs or get messed while they're bent over - there's a classic Splosh video where one model smears jam into the crack of another model's ass, and as she's doing it you can see the second model drop her head in a way that's just *mwah*. So that's kind of my starting point, this pattern of, like, show me your face or your pussy, I'm going to let loose with some whipped cream or pudding or something, and you're either going to bear up well and submit to taking it or the humiliation is going to show in your body. For me, everything else is just an elaboration of that basic principle.

I've never really thought it's the type of mess that makes it "degrading" as such, although there are certain types I find unpleasant and am not interested in.

The D/s element as far as I'm concerned is simply that one person is giving the mess and the other is receiving it, and a bit of light-hearted taunting and teasing along the way certainly helps.

For me I start with water and anything someone experiences that dosnt make them smile can fall in the D territory but food fights bring me joy

It depends on how messy you personally like to get and how much it turns you on to see your partner messy, but wam and bdsm integrate pretty easily. I'm a Dom and I do not like getting messy, i get the sub messy. It can be as simple as dumping a bucket of slime on your sub's head is a punishment for something. Here are a few more ideas for just getting your sub messy:

-fill a baby pool with your favorite mess. Make your sub hold a plank over top of the mess. Use them as an ottoman while you're at it. Eventually they give out and fall face first into the mess.

-handcuff your sub. Drop the key into a large bucket of slop. Watch them struggle.

-use mess as a gag. If they complain about anything during a scene, shut them up by covering their face with your mess of choice. I like filling their mouth as well so they do a nice spit take

-a variation on the messy gag is to make them hold a mouthful of your preferred messy substance in their mouth. They can't swallow and if they spit it out you punish them.

-breath play if you're into that

-after you have trashed your sub, make them clean it up using only their hands and a bucket. Once they have cleaned it all up, dump the bucket on them and make the. Clean it up again.

If you like getting messy, here are some ideas on how to himiliate your sub while still enjoying mess yourself:

-have your sub prepare the mess to your exact specifications

- cover yourself in your preferred mess then make your sub perform oral sex or clean you off only using their tongue. Works well with bentonite clay or gunge, since they are technically edible but don't taste very good, so it will be somewhat unpleasant for the sub.

-make your sub give you a massage using your favorite mess as lotion

-enjoy getting messy while denying your sub the pleasure of playing with you. Make them beg you to join in. After your session is over, go get yourself clean but make your sub wallow in the mess while it gets cold.

-just have your own messy session except make your sub do all the prep and clean up. Maybe let them watch you enjoy yourself, maybe not.

Hole at least one of these sounds fun to you. Good luck!

So, I have a couple ideas/examples.

Making it a punishment. Making them do it to themselves. Making them do it to themselves while you aren't even around.. you're going out to do something fun with friends while they have to stay home and completely mess themselves for you.

I had a partner once who I did a bit of mess Ds play with. I had her get on all fours naked and use a toy on herself. In front of her were a couple stacked pillows with a towel over the top and right in the center, a big, messy chocolate cream pie. When she reached the point of orgasm she had to beg me to shove her face in the pie in front of her. It was insanely hot to watch. The best part was her moaning went completely silent as soon as her face was buried in the pie.

Thank you all for your insights into what I should be doing to incorporate.

I absolutely love messing my wife's hair up! She is ok w getting pied, she knows it all turns me on and letting me really throw it at her and get the splatter turns me on!
I also enjoy scooping up the pie filling and cool whip and rubbing it over her face and hair (then rubbing her messy hair over her face)

Our last session she laid off the bed n did an upside down bj and we took a break so I could drop pies on her face and hair and a pie sandwich! She asked for the pie flavors she liked to be dropped / pie sandwiches for her taste, but the flavors she hated she asked if instead of dropping on face if it could be used for pie spanking! I still used to smush into her face after and a pie hat.

The gunge and slime I make I think it is great when it covers her face but especially her hair. And when all the ammo runs out I really love collecting the stuff left in tub and the pouring over her head and face. She obviously does not like this and looks very defeated and while I feel bad most of the time, can't deny the pics really turn me on! (Sometimes when shes super bratty or being very head strong and yelling or snapping at me then I don't feel so bad in the session for destroying her)