Hey.

I'm not sure if this topic should go in this area or not but I don't see anywhere else to put a topic like this.

What do you say to people who aren't into wam?

I mean, I'm not the type of person to tell someone what I'm interested in as far as my fetishes go....but if the topic does get brought up, I will bring them up.

Recently, the topic did get brought up with some people that I know...or rather used to know because they became defensive & degrading when I brought up the fact in the topic about fetishes that I enjoyed Wet & Messy, particularly seeing females taking pies in the face or people getting covered with clay or mud.

Here's some of the responses that I got:

"EW!! That's nasty!!! Isn't that a waist of food?"
"Why in the world would you degrade someone like that even if they asked you to?"
"I think that's a yeast infection just waiting to happen if you ask me!"
"I think I'm more dignified than that to belittle myself in such a way."

Pretty much all I could say was: "Well, that's what I'm into...sorry!"

So, what do you say to people like this?

That's why I'm afraid to bring it up as well. I think it's a harmless fetish compared to many others that seem to be more "acceptable". I think it'd be best to approach the topic carefully and see if the other person shares their fetish first. That being said, maybe take opportunities to comment on other messy situations, like a pie in the face fundraiser, but saying how it looks like fun or that you would like to try it, and see what type of reaction you get.

All of these are vaild answers if they don't 'get' it. I have no idea why people get turned on by humiliation, or being hit (which is technically illegal in the UK).

What you do is agree, empathise and show them that they don't need to understand it, just understand that it is something for you...

"EW!! That's nasty!!! Isn't that a waist of food?";
- Yes, but that's the point/it's not nasty to me. As for a waste, we don't always use food and it's a waste anyway once made. Cream can't go back in the cow and it doesn't have much nutritional value anyway!

"Why in the world would you degrade someone like that even if they asked you to?"
- Because they asked me too, both of us enjoy the sense of degradation or degrading. It's not something you like the idea of but to us it is a turn on.

"I think that's a yeast infection just waiting to happen if you ask me!"
- Can be, that's why we are super good at cleaning. It does happen, but then it can happen to anyone. There are always creams.

"I think I'm more dignified than that to belittle myself in such a way."
- And that's you. I'm not asking you to get messy! For me though, it is the fun, belittling, humiliation that makes it what it is.

All responses have an answer by living in their world/empathy (non-messy) and inviting them into ours (messy).

Also, don't apologise for liking something, it is defensive which implies that they attacked you. This leads to arguments. Just say "Hey, this is my kink, there are many like it but this ones mine"
That said if they do kink-shame then get out of the conversation, they are not worth it.

Basically couples counselling 101. Don't get me onto Imago Dialogue, it's an arse.

Forgive them! For they know not what they do!

We are all different thank God. This what makes the world go round. It is difficult to bring it up to non wammers. Some people will try it and like it and some won't. I try to talk or connect with people on this website which is wonderful. My better half hates it but sometimes will help with my fetish.

Another way to introduce non-wammers is to point out pie fights and gunge tanks are in mainstream TV and movies and that mud wrestling, wet t-shirt competitions and foam parties are all sexualised. Sploshing is just a continuation of this.

For me i would see about just being outside or passing suggestions to discovery listening for what gets reflected back and what dosn't.

You could also have a birthday party with a section that is Wam oriented and see how everyone responds.

I had a ladyfriend near Bristol who was married to a dull husband, he was quite a bit older and only talked about his golf to her , nothing happening intimate wise. I met her via work and before long we were being very naughty when hubby was at his golf days . I so wanted her to get wet ( my main fetish ) fully clothed with me..I indicated and hinted my fetish - she thought it was all about wet t shirts as she had huge adorable nipples but I wanted full formal clothes wetting ! I bought her a lovely pair of leather knee boots to add to the first dunk she was fine with , she told me the boots would " get ruined " in the bath...I agreed and the concept excited me so much ! It happened over and over after that, she enjoyed it as it led to some great sex during and after , her hubby eventualy found out she was having a casual affair and in all honesty didnt mind and understood !!! In time they moved and our wet fun sadly ended.

I'm lucky that the few people I have told about my love of pies aren't that bothered about it, because, as they often say, it's none of their business. Sure I get a few raised eyebrows and a couple of giggles but overall they don't really say that much.
At the end of the day, it's what you enjoy and, as long as you're not harming anyone else in the process, keep on doing it.