As Green Day put it 20 years ago "When masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lonely".

I had this conversation with a friend recently and she said, just masturbate. The thing is, what do you do when masturbation leaves you feeling more empty and miserable afterwards than before you started?

Kudos to anyone it still works for, but I'm curious if anyone else out there has a cure for "sexual frustration".

Obviously the first thing that comes to people's mind or any article dealing with it is "just go have sex". Well, maybe that works for most people in positions to write those articles, but obviously not for those reading them.

Exercise? No, if anything, developing a slightly less gelatinous body has made me want it more than ever.

Meditation? Meditation worked a lot better when I was married and regularly having sex. When it's on the mind all the time, how the hell do you tell it to stop so you can meditate and clear your mind of worldly stuff?

That brings me to, medications. Has anyone had any experience with something that will just flat out kill or at least lower your sex drive?

https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/sex/sexually-frustrated-men-libido/

I'm already on SSRIs for depression and anxiety, but they don't do anything to calm things downstairs.

Even losing a testicle hasn't helped.

What do I do when masturbating makes me sad? I stop masturbating! Honestly, I just naturally go through on-and-off cycles. One week I might go at it every day, but eventually, I get bored and need some downtime, so I take a masturbation-cation.

Also, if you're on SSRI's, it helps if you don't drink.

You need a hooker, bro. And before you tell me you can't afford one ... Well, that's what Gofundme is for, now isn't it?

How about making videos for others to enjoy?

You can be creative if you don't want to give too much away. I'm sure you'd get something out of knowing you were turning others on?

Or is this a ridiculous idea?

Oh, I've been on masturcation for a while now. I can like something here or talk about how hot it is, but it still leaves me feeling dead inside and does nothing to cull the desire. Thankfully, drinking isn't an issue for me, I have only had one drink since last Vegas trip where Judyanne got me smashed. Thanks for the tips though Nein! There's enough alcoholism in my genes that I stay pretty far away from it.

Hooker isn't an option for me. Believe it or not, sex with a complete stranger isn't something I really want. Also, I couldn't raise money either time I had cancer. No one is going to pay for me to get a hooker dude.

Lisa, you're idea isn't ridiculous. Making vids would be something I would consider even though the only interest that's ever been shown to me here was from other men. I'm not in a confident enough place physically or emotionally to do such a thing right now. Also, I don't think this would be so much a release for me.

You might also consider trying a different SSRI (depending on how high your current dose is, and life situation permitting). But I know that's very tricky.

I'm not too concerned about my meds. It's just prozac 40. Trust me when I say life is infinitely more bearable with it than without.

I'm sorta sad but not surprised that more haven't chimed in with their own experiences. It wasn't meant to be an "about me" thread so much as sharing my experience.

I feel like Regis's post had a lot of pathos

forsooth

I think the other thing I wanted to say is that the feeling of sadness after dick-a-doodlin' should be considered separate from the aforementioned doodlin'.

Meaning, it helps to find social contexts where sex is a total non-issue. Rediscover community, find places to be with people, chill out, and just surf on nice vibes. I think you'll find that if you're fulfilled and not lonely in the Platonic sense, it'll take the edge off a lot of* the wankity sadness.

* Not all, because there's always a little sadness. Hence the French term, 'la petite mort'.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. My experience is different, but I can share with the class in case anything can help you or someone else.

Since you were candid, I'll do the same: when it comes to a release, I've always gotten a 404 error: not found. Sex was still amazing, but now that I'm separated I don't feel frustrated over a lack of it (nor does it bring me down, to go with the Green Day theme here.) It was the companionship of my spouse that I missed most, and I'm glad to have that back.

So since I'm wired differently, I can't really compare that to your situation but if it helps at all, I've been able to distract myself through writing, work and staying active. I'm sure those things can't be nearly the same level in terms of release, but still, reading or writing something great definitely activates something pleasurable in the mind even if it's not physical. I guess everyone's mileage varies as to whether that's enough.

If you revisit the idea of making a video someday, Lisa's right, it's fun being creative and making something for others, even if it's not on that same level.

I don't think we're wired that differently honestly having read this. I have to agree that nothing aches more than the place that my spouse occupied. We were together almost 20 years since we were teenagers, and married 12 years.

It was the last 4 where they were really discovering their sexuality (asexual) and their gender (non-binary, leaning male) that lost the "physical" aspect of our relationship. Sex was obviously out, but then kissing, and romantic touching disappeared. However, up until the day they left, we still hugged, and snuggled like two cats. We talk at least weekly and still feel a close kinship, but are 3000 miles apart.

In many ways I feel that the change of a relationship this way would have been easier if they told me they just never wanted to see or hear from me again.

I would also agree that staying active helps a lot. The problem has been that until about 3 months ago or so, that was extremely difficult with all the physical health problems. Hobbies, getting out, or socializing, have also been difficult due to the poverty of living on disability. I'm just now getting to the point where I have been able to start looking for real work again. I know if I can find something rewarding to do it will have a huge positive impact by keeping my mind busy on other things.

I always thought it was "When masturbation's lost its fun, you're fucking lazy." I'm kind of disappointed now, because I think that sounds cooler...