Hey folks,
The remastering train rolls on.... As always, all these original clips have been converted to higher-quality MP4s with better bitrate, but no AI junk or other shenanigans! Glorious 480p!! (Which actually looks... Pretty decent? I had camera settings down by then.) The first two pics below are actual screen shots of the remastered versions. And everything can be found in the UMD and Vidown stores, both for sale or as part of our streaming packages.

So Jen, AKA Jennifer, was the kind of part-time model that seemed to represent every college-aged girl circa 2010: Thin, tan, tatoo- and drama-free, absolutely adorable. She found everything about our first shoot completely hilarious, despite my tendency at the time to REALLY destroy the poor model right away. (I'm sure we went through 60+ pies over 4 scenes.) In addition to the standbys (the Top Hat girl, the final Slime Skit), I also used a little bit of green screen to put Jen into a familiar show (ahem) for her first scene ever.... And then she got messy in a workout video that involved a sports bra/spandex shorts combo AND the infamous "sexy baseball player" look (which sadly never caught on) AND messing up the poor girl while she's wearing boxing gloves, which is a very slapsticky brand of humiliation. (I came back to this with Breana and Shelly, among others. The inability to wipe your face is a devious ploy!)

After THAT, Jen decided she was only gonna do "fashion" modeling, so it took some doing to get her back for a few more shoots. I believe I enticed her by promising less scenes (and less mess) for the same amount of money. This resulted in my two favorite Jen scenes: The SS100 one, where she plays both a poor customer who gets destroyed with pies and thick chocolate (and wears a tux, I guess) AND the reporter who comments on it all.... and finally gets nicely clobbered at the end. (I was quite proud of those pie throws!) Green screen in action, and a tribute to one of my favorite skits as a kid, starring the great Morgan Freeman. (No, really.)

And THEN shortly after Leslie Nielsen died, I wrote a Naked Gun tribute skit that was "approximately 1/5th as clever as The Naked Gun and 15 times messier" AND worked Jen into the classic slapstick scene from Naked Gun 2 1/2 where Frank's efforts to free his tied hands result in baseballs, motor oil, styrofoam peanuts, and an anvil all falling on his partner's head. I replaced everything but the motor oil with.... Cement, paint, pies, and green slime. A nice improvement, I'd say! (Jen would disagree.)

Final random wrinkle that sadly never happened: I was still good friends with Jill back then, even though she wasn't modeling anymore... And when I mentioned I had worked with Jen, she commented, "Oh yeah, the customers at Hooters confuse us ALL the time." (Also very 2010: 75% of my models also worked at Hooters.)
And, I mean: They REALLY do. So we seriously discussed a 2-girl scene where Jen is Jill's stunt double, or the dumb pie thrower keeps confusing one girl for the other, or.... Well, the possibilities would've been endless!
Sadly, it never happened. (I could write a novella about all the times I tried and failed to coax Jill out of "pie retirement.") But it did lead to this great exchange (paraphrased from memory)....

Me: You sure I can't get you to come back and shoot with Jen?
Jill: Rich, you know I'm retired.
Me: I could pay you more? That's how I got Jen to come back.
Jill: She hit you up for more money?
Me: Yep. A LOT more.
Jill: Good for her!

Last I saw Jen, it was years later and we were randomly in a long checkout line together.... She looked exactly the same. She'd gotten married and retired from modeling. (The classic story.) I mentioned casually that she could always do a comeback shoot.... And she laughed like I'd just said the funniest and most ridiculous statement ever. (Jill must've rubbed off on her....)

Nice! The Naked Gun parody is a good one.