So there are a lot of people on this website who spend more time than they should beating themselves up about how 'weird' this kink is or how they are unlikely to ever find a partner. In my personal experience exploring a bunch of various different kinks, sploshing is one of the easiest kinks to introduce to someone who is already kinky. A lot of kinky people have heard of it or are curious about it but haven't tried it with someone. Even if they don't themselves get aroused by images of splosh, they can often find aspects of playing with it that gets their motor going in real life.

But I've made plenty of posts in the past making these points so this time I thought I would break out the statistics.

The UMD currently has 63,988 registered users (sure a number of those accounts are now abandoned but the following stats will also contain abandoned accounts on their platforms).

If this site were a group on FetLife (the main kink community website) then that many users would mean that the group would rank at number 43. Near the top of the third page there are many other kinks considered prominent enough to be featured in the likes of the most used BDSM/Kink Test website whose groups rank lower than this).

The biggest WAM Sub Reddit (which is dedicated solely to pictures of female WAM so this figure excludes women and gay men into male WAM) has a total of just over 100,000 members. (Yes there are more than 50% more sploshers on Reddit than in this website).

If that WAM Sub Reddit were a group on FetLife then it would rank at the 19th largest group appearing on the first page of listed groups.

Just to put this into perspective, whilst everyone immediately jumps to thinking about sadomasochism pain play when they think about BDSM the biggest S&M/Pain group on either FetLife or Reddit only has 116,000 members. Now I can't for certain accurately estimate how many people are exclusively into male WAM to add to that female WAM only SubReddit figure but according to the Messy Forum stats 24% of the threads on here are for Male content. Sure there will be some people into both male and female WAM such that some could be subscribed to a female WAM only subreddit anyway but even if we just assumed an additional 12% (half of the forum estimate) are male only fans and add that to the women only subreddit total then that would be 112,000 people Just 4,000 people shy of the biggest pain dedicated group the thing everyone thinks of first when it comes to BDSM. If it has been the pain stereotype that has been the reason you haven't consider exploring the biggest BDSM subreddit has 1.7 million users (given the biggest group devoted to pain play is 116 thousand users then you should reconsider how much of BDSM is pain play).

The upshot of it all, as a kink community we form a much larger share of all kinky people than most of you all realise. Mostly because everyone has stuck to their own pages and not gone either exploring or gone networking with the rest of the kink communities to tempt people over to the slimey side of the force I mean kink. I mean honestly I think most there is a huge overlap between bratty types in BDSM and sploshers in spirit that would find a Bratty Dom fighting their glitter bombs with custard pies.

Long story short, stop wallowing in self-pity about how weird you are. In terms of kinks you really aren't. There are plenty of kinky people curious enough to give it a try BUT those kinky people are searching for people who are curious and open minded enough to try many other kinks to they don't just want to do sploshing and nothing else so do consider spending that time also as an opportunity to explore yourself. Even if it doesn't wind up being you next favourite activity, if you can tolerate it then if it is something a future partner likes as well as the sploshing you introduce them to then you can be Good, Game and Giving. If enough of you start turning up at munches regularly then you may work out there are enough of you locally to start your own monthly splunches in your area rather than have to wait for a yearly one.

And perhaps if more of you realise it is easier than you think to introduce a new partner to WAM this community can stop descending on the inbox of any new women that dare post on here like a pack of piranhas that have spotted new meat.

Anyway if you are one of the few people this will actually inspire to go exploring new kinks or possibly find a partner to introduce to your kinks then good luck to you.

Yea I don't really get how everyone isn't into seeing more Human Garbage Disposals to be honest.

There would be plenty of people into humiliation that would be keen to do it (which is why there are the models willing to do it). Though humiliation fans would get bored if it's the only type of humiliation you want to do. That and most humiliation fans either want to be the degrader or degradee in the scene than watch someone else. The most popular type of content for humiliation fans are either: written erotica/images with captions that allow them to imagine themselves in that situation or content with someone humiliating them through audio or POV video.

I don't see that many people wallowing in self-pity. I'm certainly not.

And I think this fetish is pretty weird and I've been here since the start - like, weird in a Graham Norton laughing at it on his show kind of weird. Weird as in worth a feature on Eurotrash sort of way. Weird in a there's nothing wrong with it sort of way.


You're not wrong here, but I don't think their problem is with introducing a new partner to WAM, it's with finding a new partner in general. I've given similar advice - you're much more likely to get someone messy in real life if you start dating someone and then introduce them to WAM, than you are messaging every dubious invite on the Personals forum.

Not everyone has a neurodivergent special interest in 'kink' and not everyone has the patience for munches (I know I don't) - but if it gets you out meeting people then I guess it can't be a bad thing...,

I think most of these people just need everyday dating advice.

It was a joke

I think uncommon is a more fair word than weird. I know there are people who will say sploshing is not a popular kink, and that may be true in name. But food play and sex are an extremely common foreplay. We simply take it to another level.

Part of the issue is marketing. They saw 9 1/2 weeks or the latest issue of Cosmo, and think a drizzle of chocolate is going to be Uber sexy. Well, most people who try food play have a terrible time for this exact reason. They use so little, everything dries out, and everyone hates the moment, because many people don't like to feel sticky and gross. That's not weird.

Honestly, with something like this, a tactile, sensual fetish, words and pictures will only go so far. It takes experiencing it in a way that is meant to create an erotic and pleasurable experience, contrasted with haphazardly grabbing a half full bottle of Hershey's to spurt on your wife's nipples. Which means, if you have any desire whatsoever to engage in your kink with your partner, you're going to have to tell them and ask to show them. When my wife and I (we were dating then,) were preparing for our first sploshing session, I got 30 pounds of buttercream from Sam's. I think it was the day of or before when we were going to drive to the hotel (also the evening of my company's Christmas party.) But ahead of time, we cracked it open, because I didn't know if it was going to be super dense, frozen, pre-whipped, I just wasn't sure. But as I was checking, she dipped her fingers in there, I followed. Our fingers interlocked, and it was just a sensual, passionate moment, and she connected with what I was about before we even had our first session. (Which didn't go great, but it was fun.)

OP is correct. You have to be open and engage the kink community if you want to reach like (kink) minded people. Because look, you're not going to find an abundance of people who are into Impressionism at the local biker bar. You may get lucky, but it's rare. Go where the people are, communicate, attend munches, network. Be open and honest about your kink, and be enthusiastic and willing to fulfill your partner's desires.

Just pointing out the number of people willing to DO it is far greater than the number of people with an interest to WATCH other people doing it. It's up to them whether they want only to have videos of it (which some people do, no judgements, different strokes for different folks) or do it with people in real life.

Yes and nobody has ever disguised a self-limiting belief with a joke.

I think more romantic and couples wam would do wonders for having something to show a partner.

I don't think anything limits scroggle

Even though you're not wrong, we don't need to be patronised. Not everyone here is the self-loathing incel that you imagine.

Some excellent points, but

My wife is actually OK with my messy fetishes. She actually thinks it is just a little eccentric and perhaps a bit daft from her point of view. However, what she does have a massive problem with is me dressing up as woman. So you have a double-edged problem. She'll let me get messy with her, but what I really want to do is dress up and get messy with her. So I am only allowed to do half my fetish. This is where I think situations develop where there is compromise involved.

There is another problem too. If you are like me then you will have noticed that woman are generally not comfortable with men impersonating them. My wife has been very clear on this point. Which leads me to seek the company of men who will put up with it. So I now have three problems, if I want to act like a woman in a messy situation then I have 'be' a woman and be interested in men, which I am naturally not (although I have been noted to swing either way when dressed).

So here is the point. I am completely comfortable being a wet and messy fetishist, it is just the addition 'plug-in' kinks that go with it which lead to complications!

Frankly, my dear, the only thing I want to be wallowing in is gunge and not without my high heels on!

T x

I didn't say they were self-loathing incels but I also haven't seen much improvement (if anything it is worse) in the mental health in the community.

When I was last on here I was much more active in the Messy Minds group trying to help those there but the reality was that those that go through binge-purge cycles don't post their issues until they're close to the point of another purge/"I quit" post when there isn't much you can do to help them. Despite the fact they would be back 6 months later I just got fed up with taking the time to try post advice in threads that'd be deleted days later when they deleted their account. The fact that very few people bat an eyelid or give much of a shit about it being a regular occurrence speaks volumes about the 'community' spirit here.

Furthermore the fact that most of the women I have met who are actually into WAM have said they have tried this place and left it because of toxicity rather suggests that there are problems that need addressing here.

Edit: To contribute the stats to back up that last statement. I posted the exact same personal advert for a one off sploshing play session (so none of my other kink expertise or dynamics at play) to both this website with its 63,000 members and a number of the BDSM sub reddits. I got 5 times more responses specifically from a single sub reddit that has just 5,000 members in it which was a general kink/BDSM one, not a specialised splosh one. Use those numbers to work out how toxic this place is for female members...

I definitely think we shouldn't think of ourselves as too weird or that sploshing is in any way an unhealthy thing to be in to. I would say though that for many people (and this was true of me once) our anxiety isn't over 'introducing wam to people who are already kinky' but 'introducing wam to one specific person who we love and are already in a relationship with'. And that person probably isn't already kinky (if they were we probably wouldn't be so anxious) and the 'stakes' are much higher than if we're just trying to find some random to play with.

For those who are single though I hope they take your advice, not least because if you've already found acceptance with some kinky people it should help with confidence in introducing it to non-kinky people too.

That's true, but I think there's a bit more to it. There are other groups on FetLife which are related to pain, e.g. there's a spanking group with 98,000 members. There are also a lot of local groups, e.g. "spanking in Seattle" or "pain in Pittsburgh". (Those are made up names, but you get the idea.) Lots of people are in multiple groups, so you can't just add all the numbers together, but I think that the real number is a lot higher than 116,000.

For something like the UMD or the WAM subreddit, it makes sense to have everyone in one place (rather than separate forums for each US state), precisely because there are relatively few of us.


I've spoken to a couple of female friends who are into BDSM, and they said that it's essential to have a partner who is enthusiastic about the activity. E.g. for spanking, they're not really interested in the sight or sound - it's about the emotional connection. So, having a play partner who says "It's not my thing, but I'll do it to make you happy" would be pointless. That's not necessarily a universal attitude, and there may well be some people who care more about the tactile aspect. However, it's not as simple as give and take ("You can spank me if I can pie you").

Oh I know there are plenty of sub-groups which is why that 116k figure was from the FetLife Sadist & Masochist group. It becomes tricky in the area of spanking because there are a bunch of people who like spanking but don't like pain play - they don't consider themselves masochists or sadists because they don't use any implements like flogger or whips - they may be OK if the spanking hurts but there are also those that whilst they like the psychology of over the knee spanking want it as lightly as possible. Trying to fully grasp the pain side is tricky as there will be people who like it if rough sex hurts a little but not consider it kink or BDSM.

The point really was to compare it to how it is pretty close to FetLife's main sadomasochist group given how synonymous it is with BDSM. There are other parts of BDSM considered to be big enough to be in the main BDSM Test everyone points beginners to where the forum stats here completely dwarf the online groups (Primals for instance, the biggest group in the world is less than half the size of this forum).