Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to a new series of...



with me your host Sam Limer!

This show is all about dispensing old fashioned justice and we will be giving you, our wonderful audience, a chance to decide who is guilty-as-sin and who is squeaky-clean...

And you know what happens to the guilty party don't you?

Yes, that's right - a visit to our gunge tank for some well-deserved justice!

Tonight, we have two very well-dressed gentlemen from Shuntem Motors Car Dealership and both of them take issue with each other's workplace etiquette. Each will make the case for why the other deserves a jolly good humiliating in-front of the nation and then it will be up to you to choose who goes home with a smile on his face and who goes home with a load of slime on this face!

Now our beloved justice dispenser has been primed with literally gallons of condiment-coloured Yellow and Red Gunge in preparation for our guilty party, but to spice things up a little should the loser gets ten votes or more than the winner then we will unleash the secondary "Sam Limer Special" tank of lovely lime green gunge and give them a top coat they won't soon forget! I almost feel bad about gunging one of these dapper gentlemen!

hahaha not really, they know what they've signed up for hahaha!

So let's introduce the plaintiffs and hear what they have to say about each other...

First up its Senior Salesman Mr Turnham Green...



Hello Sam, I'm Turnham and my issue with Mr Hammersmith over there is that he never washes his dishes up in the staff kitchen. After lunch he leaves heaps of them all over. He's so inconsiderate and expects the cleaning lady to do it. He knows she doesn't get overtime - but he doesn't care. He also comes into the showroom looking dead scruffy, unshaven, shirt creased, tie undone. Its bad for business. I know hell complain about the food smell but that's just sushi. He doesn't appreciate that kind of dish. So please send him for a gungey service to fix his ways!

Sounds like trouble is cooking haha get it? cooking? Oh well, lets talk to Mr Roger Hammersmith and see what he has to say...



Hi Sam, I'm Roger and I'm the Junior Salesmen at Shuntem Motors. My colleague Mr Green here constantly eats the most vile, smelly rubbish for lunch every day. If its not microwaved smoked haddock its a disgusting fruit thing that stinks to high heaven! He has sushi at least twice a week and then leaves the left overs to stink the office bins out for days! He's always moaning about my loose tie as well, the rotter! Please Sam, book him a test drive of the gunge tank and teach him a lesson in office etiquette he wont soon forget!

Well folks you've heard their sides of the story so who's going to close the deal?

The smelly-sushi scoffing senior salesman with a suit obsession?

or the careless crockery collector with a casual clothing craving?

You have 7 days to cast your vote and leave a comment explaining your reasons

Then its "bye bye suit and tie" for one of our lovely salesmen here...

Happy voting! There are larger pics of our contestants on my profile page if you need a closer look! Leave a comment and let us know your reasoning, I'm sure they'd both like to know!

Come on lads, lets get old Mr Green on the road to gungeytown haha This is the only suit I've got so please don't mess it up!!

There is no room for poor standards with ties and suits should be presentable at all times and as for leaving things in the sink! There are no washing fairies in this world I'm afraid. Oh dear I think we know where my votes going. Saying that I'm not keen on a sushi bush Tucker trial either so on second thoughts.

Oh dear, my vote seems to have tipped someone into the lead! Ha ha

Hope this turns out amazing

They both deserve it.

But I voted for the dude in the cufflinks as, um, hello!, that's kind of MY thing here!

And he could use a little humility.

Which guy? we're both wearing cufflinks!

oops! LOL So you are...well I voted for Mr. Green.

To make a more informed decision, what shoes will the two of you be wearing to be gunged in as it is a tough choice thus far, but the vote definitely goes to the gentleman who has the best quality, nicely polished leather lace up black quality dress shoes ?!

I agree. The salesman who is gunged deserves to be fully dressed, wearing their clean suit and ties down to their dress socks and shoes.

HAHAHA. Take a look at our outfits, you can guess who has better shoes! My suit isn't even wool lol

Looks like I'm on my way to a victory here lads! Looks like you hate smelly lunches as much as I do hahaha

And with that the poll is closed! Thank you to each and every one of you that took the time to vote and express your views on the quality justice we provide here. Looks like one opinion did rise above the other though and it brings me no joy (yea right!) to say that...

Mr Turnham Green is hereby found GUILTY of being a workplace nuisance due to his smelly lunches and obsession with formality!

He is hereby sentenced to be gunge-ed over the head with gallons and gallons of Yellow and Red slop as penance for his crimes.

And furthermore, due to the severity of the public opinion (a vote difference of 11, my goodness!), I also sentence the guilty party to have the Sam Limer Special tank of Green Gunge dumped over them as a lovely top coat!

Mr Roger Hammersmith is found innocent of all charges and goes home with this hansom "I was found innocent on Sam Limer's Slime and Punishment" trophy.
A round of applause for our winner please!

and as for you Mr Green......GUARDS, ESCORT HIM TO THE TANK!

A round of applause for such a gracious apology.

But I'm afraid you're not getting out of it that easy. What do you think audience, shall we let him off?

*AUDIENCE BOOS VIOLENTLY*

Oooh not a popular choice I'm afraid so it's going to have to be bye bye suit and tie for Mr Green!

No reprieve for you Sir, just a one-way ticket to gungeytown!

TAKE HIM AWAY!

NOT A CHANCE! THE FULL SUIT AND TIE GETS IT!