Either double chocolate or black forest gateaux, from Tesco or Asda, ideally the larger ones (they come in two sizes). Take out of packaging, place on a tough plate or tray, fully defrost, cut into slices and move them apart a little, and fill the gaps with custard. Squelch!
The frozen gateaux work best- ones like DungeonMaster recommends have lots of cream and mousse compared to the amount of sponge. All the different flavours are set in the same section of freezer together. Worth noting that chocolate -especially when smeared over the buttocks- can sometimes unfortunately unintentionally look like the result of a certain bodily function. Suggest looking through a few cake sits on here to check if you're grossed out by the illusion of cake shits.
The typical cakes you see in the bakery section are mostly sponge, which is much drier and less sticky- they'll work, but would flatten and crumble rather than give the squish and squelch we all tend to love with cake sitting.
Remove packaging before defrosting- they're very squishy and fragile once thawed and its a nightmare to get the plastic case off without turning everything into a sticky mess.
DungeonMasterOne said: Either double chocolate or black forest gateaux, from Tesco or Asda, ideally the larger ones (they come in two sizes). Take out of packaging, place on a tough plate or tray, fully defrost, cut into slices and move them apart a little, and fill the gaps with custard. Squelch!
Interesting idea to slice up in advance- would have thought it would force the cake out and away from the bottom rather than squelching up!
But I have faith in your experience DungeonMaster (but might use stiff whipping cream to glue it back together) :
I will also remember to remove all the candles first!
screen_name said: The frozen gateaux work best- ones like DungeonMaster recommends have lots of cream and mousse compared to the amount of sponge. All the different flavours are set in the same section of freezer together. Worth noting that chocolate -especially when smeared over the buttocks- can sometimes unfortunately unintentionally look like the result of a certain bodily function. Suggest looking through a few cake sits on here to check if you're grossed out by the illusion of cake shits.
The typical cakes you see in the bakery section are mostly sponge, which is much drier and less sticky- they'll work, but would flatten and crumble rather than give the squish and squelch we all tend to love with cake sitting.
Remove packaging before defrosting- they're very squishy and fragile once thawed and its a nightmare to get the plastic case off without turning everything into a sticky mess.
Yes- a higher frosting to sponge ratio is just the ticket! That and a carefully washed and inspected bottom before hand!
Love you, too
) 
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