People who have their hookups get them messy- how? How do you approach that as a topic of conversation? Is it before? After? Do you initiate the conversation with it? Seeking advice

If thats the "dealbreaker" then yes- be upfront about it. But I think a little convo and getting to know someone they might not be into it and it might deter.
Obviously it all depends on the guy and the preference.
Some hookups are very cut and dry others would be willing to do it.
Best of luck! Hope you get creamed

I've been lucky to have a few friends with benefits who tried wam play with me
We talked about fetishes and they said they would try it one said never again another we didn't hook up after but not cause of wam