I know that not all wammers are turned on by the same scenarios. I think I'm pretty open when it comes to wam I'm not particularly into.

But here are some of my pet peeves. Does anyone else have pet peeves when they look at wam material?

1. Two shapely and beautiful nude women are ready to be gunged or pied. The camera zooms in onto their faces. Pies or gunge envelops them, over and over. All good so far, but here's my peeve: THE CAMERA NEVER SHOWS BELOW THE NECK! So two sexy nude bodies, are covered in a lovely mess but we NEVER SEE THAT!

2. A mess is planned and it's sweet, perhaps in the form of perfect mud, or a torrent of awesome gunge. But the models are wearing thick coverall type outfits that go from the chin to the ankles, and have heavy boots on top of that. So their heads and hands get a bit messy, but nothing else.

3. A brand new video is shot, but the quality looks like it's from a 10 year old camera. Blurry, shaky, poor lighting, etc. Some videos are shot in a bathtub with a bright window behind the tub so that everything is way too dark. Basically, the peeve is very poor video quality. Even a smartphone today can shoot better quality than some of these I've seen, which make me suspect they are not new at all.

4. I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but to me, wam is my form of porn. I would hope that the models hired would be somewhat pretty and somewhat in shape. But I realize some prefer the heavier body types. But it's a pet peeve of mine to see a great setup, awesome mess, excellent quality of shooting, but a plain jane at the receiving end. Again, I certainly don't mean to insult anyone, as we each have our own tastes, but I just like to see a 'hot' girl getting it.

5. This is only a minor peeve, but it's videos that end too abruptly. Suppose we've been watching a girl in a tub get plastered by pies and had bucket after bucket of gunge dumped over her. Just when it's nice and deep and she's totally covered, she does a quick wave and the video ends. What about her rolling around in it, smearing it over her body, even getting up and squeegeeing it off with her hands? Some producers even include the showering off, but I'd be very happy with just a bit of fun after the dumping is completed. My feelings are here is a tub of gunge that cost money, and a model that costs money, and then they end the video? Why?

So I guess those would be my top five peeves. Does anyone else have some? Obviously doing the opposite of these peeves could be seen as suggestions for improvement, so I hope this post is taken in a positive way. And if you're a plain Jane, please don't hate me. I think it's awesome that you are taking part in getting messy and willing to share the results.

Agree completely and I've complained loudly for years about scenes where idiotic camera work cuts off all the actual money shots. To me, the money shot in a wam video is the point at which the mess or water meets the model's clothing (or skin for people who are into nudity). It's especially frustratinmg when you can tell from what you can see that the people on screen were making a special effort to properly gunge say one model's legs or feet - and the camera operator has completely failed to notice and misses the whiole thing.

As I remarked to one producer who does do awesome work the other day, I've come to the conslusion that the zoom button (or just going in too close) is one of the biggest killers of WAM scenes.


Disagree completely. Girls in well fitting industrial boilersuits having fun getting messy are to me the absolute pinacle of WAM perfecton. I do appreciate this is a bit of a specialist taste but I'm not the only one who likes them as the boilersuit scenes we shoot do sell.

I'd say one of my peeves is the exact opposite of this, great setup and mess, but then the model takes their clothes off (or is nude from the start) before they get messy. I have exactly zero interest in nudity, while I can appreciate the atristry of nude photography to me it's completely non-sexual and not a turn on, so a nude wam video to me is completely boring to watch. The same models wearing nurse uniforms, or boilersuits and wellies, or even just swimsuits, hell yeah. Nude? Nah.

This of course is an example of how every wammer is different and it's completely impossible to make one scene that will appeal to everyone, hence the comon advice to newcomers of "film what you personally want to see".


Agreed. Technical mistakes are understandable when made by a first timer who's never shot a commercial video before but anyone doing actual production should learn about lighting, avoiding backlighting, the importance of steady camera work, etc. And recycling old videos and claiming they are new is just not on. As with any business, honesty goes a long way in building respect.


One person's hot is another person's not, so that's going to be even more subjective than the nude / overalls-and-wellies issue.

My take on that would be that what's hottest is seeing someone who is obviously having fun with what they are doing. Fun is infectious, and you can tell when someone's genuinely having a good time.


Agree with that. I think usually it's a sign that either the model is only doing it for the money and hence as soon as "all covered" they think it's done and stop, or the producer shooting it is only interestied in the "getting messy" part and not the "being messy and playing" section. Here at the Hall we tend to keep going till the girls start to feel cold, which means our summer-shot scenes are usually longer than winter-shot ones, but a good few minutes of really slopping about while completely covered before the end will feature in most of our dungeon scenes.


A couple from me:

SHp1. Model starts fully clothed, gets a bit messy, but then takes their clothes off while substantial areas are still clean. If shooting a scene that starts clothed and then has a nude secton, the model should get totally messy in their outfit and only then take it off.

SH2p. Ultra-short descriptions that miss out all the important information, especially coupled with a lack of useful previews. A scene's description should clearly state some detail of what the scene contains. It's not necessary to write a book but describing who's in the scene, what they are wearing, what happens to them, how it has been filmed in terms of how it's framed, can we see the whole model or just their face, etc, should all be there, unless the preview images make things absolutely clear. Also where a single video contains several sections (for instance, starts clothed and ends nude), then list the run times of each section in the description, for instance "Clean and dry, 1 minute, getting messy clothed, 5 minutes, stripping, 1 minute, playing in the mess nude, 4 minutes". That lets people who are more interested in one section than another decide if the scene is value for money for "their bit".

SHp3. Low-rise clothes. I utterly hate them and how they make a model's body look. This is of course personal taste too but I suspect I react to low-rise jeans the same way you react to girls in heavyweight coveralls. Sufice it to say for me low-rise jeans are an absolute purchase-killer, give me high-waist outfits any day. On a technical note, higher waistlines make the legs look longer and the body shorter, which is part of the classic Western idea of female beauty. I'd the privilege of seeing the Christian Dior exhibition at the V&A in London a few weeks ago, and his "New Look" for the post-war years was clearly built on the same idea, tight, high waists often pulled in with belts to really emphasise the female figure.

I'm sure a few of mine have been said but here are some of mine:

1. Acting scenes/skits, very rarely do they turn out good so seeing the same person get pied over the same joke multiple times gets old to me after a while.

2. Getting messy while laying down, this is just a personal preference but I like to see the mess drip and fall over the model, when they are laying down it doesn't have the same effect.

3. Water in pie/slime scenes, I like the model to stay covered so it's pretty self explanatory

4. Clear slime, not sure either why I'm not a big fan but it may be because it doesn't cover the model all the way. Not really a pet peeve but it could turn me off from buying a scene.

5. Hearing the producer giving instructions to the model, just sounds kind of awkward. It wouldn't make a scene unbearable but I'd prefer without it.

6. Messy instruction videos, some people love them, some don't. I'm the latter If I wanted to hear instructions on it, I could go to a text to speech site/app.

7. Lack of goth girls, you rarely see any goth chicks, they're my favorite!

I'm sure I have many more but don't want to take up the thread with a huge post. Obviously these are just to me so feel free to disagree respectfully

s h a v i n g c r e a m

I'm glad someone said this. As someone who has been accused by another here on the UMD of being a man who cross dresses and/or a trans individual because of my toned arms (that I've worked very hard for) and whose body has has more of an athletic and curvy build instead of petite and slender, that one peeve does feel way more like BS than anything else. Just don't watch/preview/look at pics of girls whose look doesn't suit you.

Another good point mentioned: it's hard enough to be a lady around here where creeps abound without having to hear yet another thing about physical appearance. Not saying be glad for any woman that's here but damn, know when it's a good time to hush. Comments like these can scare all the girls off, not just the 'hot' ones or plain janes.

I'm gonna get off the soap box now and enjoy my Friday.

Like I've learned when commenting on not understanding the appeal of a certain Hollywood actress (and that was about more than just their appearance).


Back to the topic though...

1. Agree with this one wholeheartedly. I think these exist because there are a good number of people that are really more into seeing the face and in particular, hair messy though.

2. Not a pet peeve, but generally not my thing, but I know exactly who you're thinking of. I can't call this a pet peeve because of the vast variety we have today compared to 20 years ago.

3. I get this, but every video I've taken on my iPhone 6 looks like pure garbage. There is a lot to be said for lighting. So, I look to see if it's a newer producer, or someone who is NOT a professional photographer.

4. I mean...your first sentence says it all. Everyone has their own type. Personally, I like a wide variety. I can't really go with this as a pet peeve. I especially can't really complain about it because of aforementioned large variety of content.

5. I think Leon is one who has really tapped into this potential. I agree, the mess is already there, why not keep going. Likewise, you can do a separate wash off vid. That way, you can cut away for those that like the abrupt ending.

I don't know that there is too much I could really nit pick as a pet peeve. Or rather, I could point out certain things that I don't personally like that certain producers do. However, I feel that people have become overly sensitive and would take it personally. Hell, some people take things personally when the comment isn't even aimed at them, so I'll just leave it at that.

If only someone would have done some research on this.

this

That chair should be the first thing/person inducted into the WAM of Fame.

So many pitches in this thread, so little time.

I hate when the clean girl is about to be pied and the pie thrower decides to take a finger full of pie and smear it on her nose or chin or whatnot, thereby ruining the clean face before she is nailed.

And I know many people disagree with me on this, but I hate when a girl is pied and she smiles and laughs about it. (Anyone that likes this is WRONG and STUPID. )

I hate when a girl is pied and she doesn't smile and laugh about it.

My biggest pet peeve is when a model wears her hair down in certain scenes. In doing so, the hair forms what I can only describe as a 'curtain' around the face and side of the head.

The best example of this I can give is when a model receives a pie sandwich or gunging in the gunge tank. In the immediate aftermath, the coverage appears to be good. However, a simple flick back of the hair reveals their face and side of the head to be completely clean.

For that reason, I always prefer pie/gunge scenes where the model has her hair tied up. It allows the entire head and face to be encased in mess.

1 = Pornhub
2 = Youtube
3 = Goggles
4 = Knee Pads or Arm Pads
5 = using plastic sheeting for a backdrop or floor covering
6 = Monotony ... i.e. doing exactly the same thing over and over and over again, with girls who wear the exact same outfits every time. This applies to most South American gameshows. If you are going to be repetitious at least use different outfits for each show (Kudos to CM Models for doing that).

Anything savory. Absolutely cannot do it.

That's a very good point. I should perhaps of made a division in my post. I LOVE to see amateurs getting messy, the girl next door, and I certainly don't mean to shame anyone in any way. But when it comes to PROFESSIONAL productions, or producers who have all the pazazz of professional logos, perhaps a website, THEN I expect the models to be of a certain calibre. It would be like buying a girlie magazine only to find average-looking women in it. But I certainly would love to see average-looking woman taking part in a pie fight or mud volleyball match. I suppose I'm saying there are the 'real' girl-next-door types having fun, which is very sexy, and the pro models hopefully having fun, which is visually sexy, but if they're faking it, it's less sexy. But in the end, I'm talking about buying visual product, so I guess I expect pro wam videos to have beautiful women.

Kitty, I certainly didn't mean to shame anyone, and I love seeing ANY woman getting messy. But my point was that if buying a wam video is similar to someone else buying a porn video, then in my opinion, the actors should be somewhat similarly attractive. I encourage ANYONE to get messy and share photos. That's different - saying 'oh, here I am and I fell in the mud' and sharing the picture. I love that real stuff, the honest sharing of fun situations that involve getting messy. I love the reactions, and everybody's beautiful inner child comes to the surface. But to me, that is sort of different to looking at a body and getting turned on. In fact, the real situation has a level of respect, while the one I prefer in my videos doesn't. Both are valid. Both are sexy in different ways.

Well you STUPID and WRONG! UGLY too!

Don't Regis shame Bozo

I think we all know what you're trying to say, but I'm curious as to why the existence of wam videos with models you don't consider beautiful is a pet peeve. Couldn't you just not buy them? Did somebody trick you into buying some wam videos without showing you any images of the model or content? (And even if that happened, if the video producer told you, "The model in this video is beautiful," and then she wasn't beautiful by YOUR standards, isn't it your fault for not seeking a definition of what "beautiful" meant to the producer?)

I guess what I'm trying to say is: if you are turned on by pro wam videos featuring type-x models, but not ones with type-y models, (A) just buy the ones with type-x models, and (B) don't complain about the ones with type-y models.

At the risk of beating a dead horse, you don't seem to have any idea how discouraging and/or hurtful a comment like yours can be to someone whose physical appearance doesn't meet the arbitrary bullshit standards of beauty in this society. I know I'm being a harsh dick right now, but you really need to examine what you're thinking and saying, and how it affects this community and the people around you in general.

I suppose I could have thought this through before posting. There are some wam producers hiring absolutely beautiful girls, Messygirl, Jayce, Arial, and Slapstick Stuff are a few that pop into my mind just now. But they don't necessarily do what I prefer to see. (but they come close)

Now, there certainly is beauty in everyone, especially when a more 'average' girl gets messy. Her face lights up, and the inner child shows up. That is a beautiful thing for sure. I applaud everyone who is brave enough to video or photograph themselves to share here. I guess I should have made it clear I was talking more about the high end (and usually high price) material, where sometimes the girls hired aren't stunners. (by society's definition of beauty) But that's strictly an external beauty, very different from the real beauty expressed when anyone is sincerely having a blast getting messy.

I guess I should also say that I purchase videos for sexual thrills only. I also watch fun messy situations such as mud volleyball for fun. These are two distinct types of entertainment for me, and I suppose I should have clarified. Fact is, I didn't really know this so clearly as having had this discussion, so thanks to all of you for making me think about the topic. Too bad I hadn't done that before posting. I certainly did not want to discourage or insult any of the females on here. My bad.

You're drawing an entirely false division between types of WAM. This is a fetish, and UMD is a fetish website. Everything posted here, from friends larking about in a mud-puddle to the most polished of productions, is posted to turn people on. All of it is erotica (I'd hesitate to say porn as most people expect porn to be nude and lots of WAM isn't). It's not as if over here in one corner we have some rarified school of models and over in another corner we have "ordinary women". Everyone female in a WAM video is a model, and an ordinary woman, all at the same time.

What governs the price of WAM videos is the logistics of shooting them. First you have to find people willing to appear in fetish videos for other people to wank off to - which isn't necessarily the easiest sell, and requires a decent model fee. Then you have to add in buying outfits, plus shoes and boots, underwear/swimwear, substances to use (or the cost and logistics of getting models and film crew to and from a mud or river location), studio facilities, a decent computer system and editing software, cameras, video cameras, lights, power, heat (this is a significant cost to anyone shooting in a cold climate), hot water for wash-off, think a domestic boiler running flat out for several hours over the course of a shoot day, snacks and drinks for models and crew during shooting, a decent hot meal and drinks for models and crew at the end of the day, travelling to splunches and other meetups for networking and promotion, hotel costs, going to Vegas every five years (OK that one is optional ), advertising costs, paying models' train fares or petrol money to get to the producer and home again, the amount of time any serious producer has to spend promoting their work on-line...

And then the scene that just cost you a couple of hundred quid to film sells exactly nine copies at $15 each, so you get back $94.50 after UMD commission and then lose another 4% in money transfer company fees.

I'm wondering if you're thinking that fully clothed is "just fun" while naked is "sexual". It's not like that, in a fetish situation fully clothed WAM is every bit as much about turning the audience on and being wanked to as the most hardcore naked XXX stuff. And beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder, especially in a niche fetish like this one.

Yup, can't say I didn't see this coming from the OP. These are the things I've learned recently.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of public opinion. Intent means nothing. Doesn't matter if your personal opinion, making light of someone, chose the wrong words, didn't think things through etc. You hit the right trigger words, the pack is closing in; you may as well just put a gun to your head now.

There is nothing you can say to redeem yourself, so stop trying. You're just wasting your time. Your redemption isn't wanted. Instead of asking if you chose your words poorly, or for an explanation, you will just be mocked or attacked for your lack of social sense of tact and decorum. Even if you 'see the light', you will never be in good graces again with those whose ire you have spurred. Basically, you're a bad person and you should feel bad...perpetually.

So be prepared to start talking from your cross, because you will be removed from your soapbox.

But not for him. I think Bob is speaking for himself here, and not the entire class. And that is why I think people go bananas anymore over things. This is the OP's opinion, what's written in their mind/heart, not everyone else's.

That's unacceptable. No one should be accusing anyone of being anything, if they are, please report them directly to Messmaster. Many people here don't identify on this site as anything. Many have no avatar at all, and many just lurk. And a lot of them do it specifically because they don't want to deal with that kind of shit.

Ultimately, so long as there are two lifeforms on this world there will be conflict. However, we have the ability to rationalize, sympathize, and empathize. Someone will always step on someone's toes, and often times not intentionally. Intent is meaningful, and none of us always translate our intent into the right words or actions at times. Confrontation in such IS necessary if you don't want to be taken advantage of. And often times, understanding can be reached without conflict.

But, we all have to want it.

Guy has an opinion....

Couple of other people think that opinion is dumb....

Yep, definitely time to break out the crucifixion analogies!

You know beauty is in the eye of the beholder but you just want to see hot girls "getting it"?


So, all producers should... what? Contact you before they shoot to make sure the girls are to your preference? Our primary market should be what you find physically attractive and everyone else should adjust there preferences?

Yeah. I would definitely advise thinking things through before posting.

Fucking right. How dare people question an ill-thought opinion? This is the internet! I should be able to just shit words out through a keyboard with no social consequence.

Not keen on if a models clearly not enjoying it and also I'm only really keen on pies to the face rather than other sections of the body. Apart from that pretty much everything else is sound like, rest such as outfit and such and such don't really bother me too much. All comes down to the model really when it comes to actually buying a scene.

Threads like this are a real education. Even when it's stuff that's been mentioned many times before it's still worth the repeat. I almost wish we had a permanent "gripe thread" or similar.

Thank you to all who contribute.