I made it my New Year's Resolution to be bolder. Enough of being timid and mousy with what I want from my life and relationships.

I had been seeing a guy for a few weeks and it had been going well enough. I wasn't sure where it was going it I liked him and was enjoying how things were going. Today, owing to my resolution, I decided to spice up the sexual aspect of our relationship and get him to WAM me. I really wanted him to see my most sexual side.

I prepared something simple: a handful of whipped cream pies, a couple bottles of chocolate syrup, and the crowing glory of some cans of cherry pie filling. I placed a clear drop cloth on my spacious bathroom floor, set the pies around, and opened the cans. I was nervous but ready for this! I texted him and told him I had something special I wanted to show him today.

He arrived and I sat him on the couch and headed back into the bathroom, which is through my bedroom. I stripped down to my panties alone, one of my favorite pairs: a lavender string bikini with polka dots (see photos in my profile--you'll find it in there!). I called him back. I was so excited!

I explained about how I like to get messy and wanted him to do it to me. He was hesitant. He started with the pies: he was gentle putting the first one right into my face. I told him to give me a pie sandwich with the next two. The fourth one he flopped on the top of my head without being told--he was getting it, I thought! He rubbed one more on my boobs and I told him to save the last one for just a minute.

The wetness of my pussy was offset only by the dryness of my mouth. I said it was time to step it up a asked him to pour the chocolate syrup over my head and down the front and back of my panties. He muttered something like "Um, ok..." and reluctantly complied with my request. He seems ok with pouring it on my head but as I opened my panties, he asked "Really?" and I assured him yes. I pulled up hard on my underwear and let the chocolate ooze down my legs..

I grabbed the last pie and put it into the back of my now brown underwear and sat down. "Cover me with the chocolate! And more into my panties!" I laid down but he didn't seem to know what to do. I was getting so hot and I threw my panties off and told him to pour it on my stomach and pussy.

I reached right for my clit. It didn't take me long to climax. About halfway to my second orgasm, I mumbled it was time for the cherry pie. I told him to dumb it on me as I rubbed hard on my lady parts. He dropped it from high above and it flopped on my stomach. I started to moan a bit and I said "Now, you, I want you inside me...please." But then he said...

"I think I'm gonna go now. Have a nice evening."

I looked up from my messy ecstasy, my second orgasm just a few seconds elapsed. I was dazed from the sexual bliss and said "What?" or something like that. "I'll let myself out." we're his next words.

I sat up. My sexual high went off a cliff. I sat there for a good 10 minutes before I started to clean up. About 20 minutes later, I got a text from him...

"I think you're a nice girl but I don't think we are compatible. That site today was a bit... revolting to me. I'm sorry. Best of luck."

A breakup text!?! My heart sank. I began to cry hard. I wasn't so much devastated by losing him (I wasn't sure if there was a future there). I envisioned myself covered in the slop like one of the girls in a Messygirl video, a vigorous sexual display that would make anyone hard. The thought of my sloppy pussy on display, open and ready for a good hard dick that would make us both explode, was the most erotic thought that had ever crossed my mind. But I was delusional...he was disgusted by me.

So not so happy new year to me. Taking this hard... please tell me it won't be like this, even if it's a lie. My confidence is shattered...and worst, I'm too afraid to call my bestie because I'm afraid she will think the same of me.

I might be a bit slow on replies or messages. Needing both community support and unplugged time both. It's a very strange feeling...

It's not you, it's him. On the bright side, at least it was only a few weeks that you were seeing him and not years. You're going to find someone special in 2019 who will find you as sexy in WAM as you are turned on by it!!!

Do people actually do stuff like this, spring their fetish on their partner and pressure them immediately to participate? Unsure how this could actually happen in reality, wouldn't you notice your partner was uncomfortable and stop to have a conversation about it?

OH dang that is rough, brutal, really. That being said, obviously this wasn't going to work out. Too bad it had to go out in such a blaze of glory.

I assume you spoke to him previously about fantasies and any fetishes. Also, the build up always seems to be a big factor. Starting with some whipped cream and chocolate, probably pretty damn innocent, but a pie barrage might be something for round 2 or 3 once you've explored a bit together.

That being said, I did have one girl who genuinely at the first discussion, seemed to "get it." We had a ton of sessions absolutely destroying each other and then going at it. It's something that you will find, so head up, and keep at it!

Even if he's not into wam, he's got to be open minded enough to notice that you're not only really turned on by this, but also that you trusted him enough to share it with him. So, you're better off without him, and i'm sorry you had to find out such a sudden way. Better to know now and save time looking for someone more compatible for you.

I don't think it was that WAM. I suspect the WAM was a way out for him.

Things can only get better from here. Obviously there are guys out there that are into WAM. The hardest part is finding the guys that are decent people. There is nothing wrong with people having their kink. I am sure that he has his kink too. But I also know that there are people that may be fun on the outside that are very vanilla on the inside. Always missionary position like sex or being intimate with someone is a scheduled task. Just like eating, sleeping etc. Variations on the task can throw people for a loop and scare the shit out of them.

Don't lose hope and keep looking. Take some time bandage the wounds and let things happen. I am not sure how comfortable it would be and given some of the people that lurk here, I am almost hesitant in suggesting this, but what about finding someone here? If they are here there is something about the kink that they enjoy and that can be a way to get the uncomfortable situation of explaining WAM and how it makes you feel to someone.

Above all do not settle for someone who does not enjoy the same things you do. Stay true to you.

Wow... really hot story, and terrible ending, I'm sorry that had to happen to you.

If he can't handle a little thing like this, then it's better for the long run, i.e. it would not have worked out.

When I introduce WAM to people, from my limited perspective, I find that it's either a "Yes/interesting" or "No/yuck" and seldom in between. Statistically, you are bound to come across some people who don't want to be involved in it, and that's fine, move on. You will find someone else!

If I had a gf who told me her secret fetish, that would be so awesome! And if that's something that is really not-for-me, I will still find a way to make it work. You took a big step, and he did not reciprocate. I'm sorry that you had to go through that, but even with people in your age group, there are really some sexually conservative prudes out there...

Such a high point that quickly turned to a lowest low. So sorry that happened to you.

I have had a woman tell me that her fantasy was to be raped, and I tried to indulge her a little but I wasn't convincing enough or....it really was not for me.

I hope your year turns out better. It really can only go up from here.

He wasn't disgusted by you I think.. but rather the mixed food mess. I can understand that I think, someone who has never seen wam before will likely find it quite intense as a sensory overload even when no mess is on them.

Aside from that though he doesn't seem comfortable with a sexual woman who knows what she wants and therefore you really haven't lost anything here except a life of putting your needs second rather than equal.

If wam is important to you in your personal life then I would recommend dating someone into the wam fetish, or someone very open minded who is involved in the fetish scene in some way (eg people you would meet at a fetlife meet up) even if it means maybe being a bit long distance at first (I know nearby wammers can be harder to find across the pond) Henners and I were long distance at first but when the right person appears, you find a way to make it work.

Or if you think it's not as important in your life and don't want to date a wammer then you at least need someone who sees the humour in wam and maybe approach it initially as a fun part of build up to sex rather than going for intensity right off the bat. A few weeks into seeing someone, you shouldn't need anything to spice it up - I'm talking about relationships with non wammers here... if they are into it then it's different and fun to play around with wam as soon as you'd like but with a non wammer I'd focus on the part where you just enjoy each other for a while. I'd make sure we both knew sexual likes and dislikes so there's no surprises down the line but no need to introduce any fetish play into the sexual side for at least a few months

I understand your pain, 13 years ago i had a similar new year resolution. Having never told anyone of my messy fetish i took the plunge and desribed it to my then gf, she said something along the lines of 'eugh im not one of those type of girls '. We didnt speak of it again and she split with me a couple of weeks later, i was gutted. I later got into a relationship with someone, verbally shared my fetish and got another repulsed responce.
Keep being true to yourself and others as it will pay off eventually, around 7 years ago i told my then gf of my fetishes, wearing bin bags, plastic and majorly into WAM , she thought i was nuts and really odd, but being a good sport she would try it
We have been happily married for around 6 years, she still finds it very strange when i set up a room with plastic sheets, pies, gunge, food etc but knowing how much it means to me embraces the occasion and usually enjoys it.

Something similar happened to me... however, I'm still engaged with her. And now, she pies me from time to time!!

Firstly, I would say that if anyone is ending a relationship for this, it's because it would've ended that way anyway...

Secondly, I guess the best choice is to introduce wam slowlier... even talking about it before trying to have a wam session...


I wish you the best luck!!! For sure you'll find someone to share your passions!!

WAM is part of your sexuality, but its not for all. Maybe an earlier conversation about sexual interests, especially his, might help you see if the next one could be the one. But going at it 100% obviously has risks, as you now know.

I always advise starting with something mild like a sensual massage, gradually adding more oil to gauge reaction. If positive you could try whipped cream, and then maybe ask him what else "we" could do.

Get positive affirmation at each step up, try to get him to suggest things.

AND in parallel you should be doing the same for his kinks (if he has any).

You will get there.

While this is difficult for many here to imagine, fetish sex is just a lot of work for some guys.

"Wait. I got to go through all that for a really good time?"

And if that's the case then don't expect a lot of imagination and fun about a lot of other things as well.

What I want to know is: How many come ons/marriage proposals have showed up in your inbox since posting this?

I'm sorry Justine. No one needs that to start the year. I don't know you well enough to give you any specific advice, but I know you are a kind and compassionate person from messages you've sent me in the past.

I don't want to minimize or make light of your disappointment or pain, but it could have been worse. At least you got off, and while the ending wasn't what you imagined, it's his loss. Kudos to him for at least trying, even if he didn't leave on more considerate terms.

I wish you the best moving forward.

This way sucks. There's a lot to express on this subject privately, but know this publicly: You Are Worthy. You Are Strong. You Are Beautiful.

Yep, believe it or not, some people actually like to have an adventurous / exciting / impromptu experience - especially with someone who might generally be construed as 'their partner' - without having to sit down and have an hours-long discussion of all possible actions, outcomes, feelings, ramifications, etc. And, really, we're talking about some pies and chocolate syrup here, not some extreme BDSM choke-out or body mutilation fetish. Too bad the guy was too uptight to enjoy the experience!

But congrats to Justine for being adventurous - I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who would enjoy that experience and be more than happy to join in. Now you've got a great fresh start to the new year and a chance to meet them!

I'm sure that was quite the bummer, but keep your head up high Justine. You were being quite brave to set this up, and likely this relationship would never have worked out to your satisfaction.

I can tell you from personal experience that I have deeply regretted NOT fully sharing my love of WAM with some past girl friends. I have a long relationship with a wonderful woman who accepts my passion for WAM, but she's not really into it herself. We've had a very satisfying life together, but I can't help but fantasize often about what turn my life might have taken if I'd had the guts to share my WAM passion much earlier in my life.

Justine, if it's really as important to you as it is to many of us, don't give up trying to find the right person to share it with.

Justine,

Sorry to hear about your problems.

Hope you find someone to share your wam love, and it works out for you.

Thank you, everyone, for the kind replies and words of encouragement on this thread. I'm so touched by it! It's really helping me rebuild myself. That will take a bit, but this is helping a lot.

I've also received so many wonderful messages from friends and new people alike. Each one means so much to me. Thanks so much.

I'd love to reply to everyone on thread personally/individually but I'm afraid that would make the thread explode and I don't want to raise the ire of the mods with a million reply thread about me. Just pie me if I get too full of myself or something.

The advice and crisitism, which I definitely deserve, has really given me a lot to think about. I made too many assumptions doing this with him and really thought too much about myself. I also took too much advantage of being female in this regard: I didn't stop to think about his own sexual experience or capabilities and I just assumed that when a girl does this stuff, it will always be received well. That's pretty shitty of me because it makes guys into mindless sex stereotypes, which is so not true. I assumed he'd find the sight of a naked girl pleasuring herself just unspeakably hot because all guys would too--that was terrible of me.

The comments from JaMC made me really reflect on my sexuality and exprierences and such. Others said similar things in this thread. I completely forgot that women can be too forward too and can exert harmful sexual experiences on men, something we all need to realize in this culture of #metoo. I just never stopped to consider that he'd struggle with a sexually aggressive move from a female because I thought all guys wanted this. So stupid of me. So so stupid and careless.

I haven't reached out to my guy again yet. When I do, I'm going to focus on him and make sure he's ok from this experience. I don't think we have anything together and that's ok, but I'd feel utterly awful if I ruined him in some way.


Everyone has been really really nice and supportive. I'm shook by the outpouring of positivity and encouragement.

Yep, I'd suggest looking for love elsewhere.

I mean, why spend weeks, years or even the rest of your life with someone that isn't turned on by the same stuff as you? Why date someone that almost certainly isn't a wammer when there's tons of dudes on here that are probably drooling at the thought of being in that guys position?

I know there's lots of people here that are in happy relationships with non-wammers, but I honestly can't imagine being with someone that doesn't indulge in this fetish, let alone keeping it a secret from them. Exposing yourself to him was absolutely the right thing to do, even if it was a little heavy handed.

Justine i would love to have a girlfriend that would like to be pied and other messy stuff but like most people mine is not into that

Don't worry too much. I've heard enough stories of inductees into our strange little peninsula of Fetishland.

I was present at a contest where people jumped into a huge pool of jello to find prizes. Two teenage girls approached and took a look. One looked happy and said something like 'oh, I'd love to do that' while the other looked disgusted and just said, 'so gross'. That experience made me realize that we all react to different things in different ways. For some, it's S&M, for others it's sexy shoes. And of course, for us here, it is getting wet and messy. Why one person thinks it's nice and the next doesn't is a mystery. You just need to find the ones who might enjoy it.

There is definitely some room between "surprise a lover with your fetish" and "react very poorly to something your lover has done. Like, if that's what sends him out the door, then something innocuous was going to send him out the door too. Maybe you didn't give yourself the best odds for the best outcome in that one situation, but if he can't be understanding, accepting, and forgiving, then he's not the one for you

I'm sorry to hear about this experience, sounds really rough. But he's obviously too vanilla for you, so to speak! I wouldn't read too much into it, I don't think it reflects on you as a person or anything like that. Your story is one of the hottest things I've ever read and I would absolutely die of ecstasy if anyone ever did that for me! I know it's hard but just give yourself a little time to get back up, dust yourself off and move on. You'll find someone who is up for it and supportive!

Justine,
I admire your courage! And I'm sorry it didn't work out for you...
I agree that when you like WAM, you should bring that up early in a relationship. But maybe you where a bit too bold. Sometimes it might be better to introduce it gradually. Start with some mainstream stuff like whipped cream and chocolate, and then discuss it, before you go all the way...

this is NOT criticism, but just advice.Take it a bit easier on the next guy. I hope you'll get lucky! If some one did to me what you did to him, I'ld be in heaven