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"Not caring who knows anymore"
Love you, too
Any of you ever feel like you've gotten to the age where you don't care who knows about your wam fetish anymore? I'm at that point and it feels great. Like I'd tell anyone and don't care who finds out haha. Has anyone else felt like that?
No shoes allowed
Saturation Hall, Langstonedale
Lord of the Pies
messy_feet_lover said: Any of you ever feel like you've gotten to the age where you don't care who knows about your wam fetish anymore? I'm at that point and it feels great. Like I'd tell anyone and don't care who finds out haha. Has anyone else felt like that?
I took a deliberate decision to be completely open about it years ago. Literally everyone significant in my life, personal and professional, is aware of it, and it's never caused any kind of issues. As kinks go its pretty harmless, and any major part of yourself that you try and keep secret is always going to be a "what if they find out" worry. It helps that I live in a very secular country and socialise in very progressive and alternative social circles - I can imagine it's much harder to be open about things if you live somewhere where everyone is very conservative or traditionally religious. But wherever possible, it's always liberating to be able to be true and honesty about yourself.
Saturation Hall - Forth! The Gungemaidens!
ChuckSM said: I hope to reach that point someday. Right now, the dynamics don't allow it. Some people I know would be shocked and their heads would explode if they knew I was into this fetish!
But it's so harmless...that's what I don't get. No-one gets hurt, no laws get broken. Some people not 'on the scene' think it's not even vaguely kinky; others are disgusted by it. Maybe the same for every kink...or is it a fetish ?
Yes, but it took having cancer for me to come out of the woodworks. In 2016, I had it once, in addition to having chronic health issues since 2001. A year later I had it a second time and I was like "Fuck it, who cares? What do I have to lose?"
I've never looked back, and it is SO liberating. I think of how much time and opportunity I have lost from not being open earlier. I really feel for those who feel trapped, and even worse for those who just are (whether it be job, family, etc).
I hope and wish we can come to a point where sexuality isn't so stigmatized. Baby steps I guess.
I've never looked back, and it is SO liberating. I think of how much time and opportunity I have lost from not being open earlier. I really feel for those who feel trapped, and even worse for those who just are (whether it be job, family, etc).
I hope and wish we can come to a point where sexuality isn't so stigmatized. Baby steps I guess.
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
andytac said:
But it's so harmless...that's what I don't get. No-one gets hurt, no laws get broken. Some people not 'on the scene' think it's not even vaguely kinky; others are disgusted by it. Maybe the same for every kink...or is it a fetish ?
ChuckSM said: I hope to reach that point someday. Right now, the dynamics don't allow it. Some people I know would be shocked and their heads would explode if they knew I was into this fetish!
But it's so harmless...that's what I don't get. No-one gets hurt, no laws get broken. Some people not 'on the scene' think it's not even vaguely kinky; others are disgusted by it. Maybe the same for every kink...or is it a fetish ?
That's what I don't get. Doesn't make sense to me. There are so many other fetishes that are way more extreme and I feel like some of those are not looked down on as much for some reason..
No shoes allowed
Potatoman-J said: Yes, but it took having cancer for me to come out of the woodworks. In 2016, I had it once, in addition to having chronic health issues since 2001. A year later I had it a second time and I was like "Fuck it, who cares? What do I have to lose?"
I've never looked back, and it is SO liberating. I think of how much time and opportunity I have lost from not being open earlier. I really feel for those who feel trapped, and even worse for those who just are (whether it be job, family, etc).
I hope and wish we can come to a point where sexuality isn't so stigmatized. Baby steps I guess.
I've never looked back, and it is SO liberating. I think of how much time and opportunity I have lost from not being open earlier. I really feel for those who feel trapped, and even worse for those who just are (whether it be job, family, etc).
I hope and wish we can come to a point where sexuality isn't so stigmatized. Baby steps I guess.
Right, it would be so much better for everyone if people could just be more open about what they like without the fear of being so judged for it.
No shoes allowed
I've thought a lot about being more open about my fetish to people. Besides my wife, only 2 other really close friends know about this and it was very liberating to tell them about it. However, most of the other people in my circle of friends/family wouldn't be so understanding.
messy_feet_lover said: Any of you ever feel like you've gotten to the age where you don't care who knows about your wam fetish anymore? I'm at that point and it feels great. Like I'd tell anyone and don't care who finds out haha. Has anyone else felt like that?
After coming back from meeting people in person and talking about it I think I could say yes to this
Paint with play and surrender
I guess I am there. It's not like I am going to announce it on my Facebook profile, but if someone were to find out about it, it would not ruin my life. I found out a few months ago my girlfriend told her sister about my kink. I just thought: "Oh well." There's stranger things than a pie-in-the -face fetish.
While sexual kinks are certainly not something I want everyone knowing (such as my parents, other family, boss, etc.), I feel like I am past the point of being ashamed or rejecting them. I also have one female friend (not partner) in particular who I feel like I (potentially) could be open and honest about this with, not in the hopes of any particular result other than just the freedom of expressing it to someone. This person just seems to be relatively open-minded about a lot of things, kinks included.
I'm more inclined to telling my newer friends who live in the local metropolitan area of the state that I happen to reside in, because A) they're younger and B) they're mostly all LGBTQIA+ so they genuinely don't give a shit. My older friends that I grew up with, I'm not going to sit them down and be like "so when a man and a woman love each other, and they also find vanilla sex boring" but if it were to come up I'd be like "uh yeah why do you gaf?" I used to be so afraid of people finding out and I'm p sure one dude who was in my friend circle had figured it out and would torment me in front of people making subtle jabs (guy is a straight piece of trash but that's another story) at this point though I really don't give a shit but I'm not gonna wear a sandwich board sign that says "ask me about pies in the face!" On the front, and "it gives me a boner" on the back lol
Much love
I'll play devils advocate and ask what do you have to gain by telling people about this fetish? I know that if more people knew, they most likely wouldn't be supportive and may even poke fun at me.
This is something I've struggled with because, like it was said earlier, throwing pies doesn't have to be a "fetish" thing. It can also be a fun, light hearted thing to do. Like throwing pies or a cake in someone's face for their birthday.
This is something I've struggled with because, like it was said earlier, throwing pies doesn't have to be a "fetish" thing. It can also be a fun, light hearted thing to do. Like throwing pies or a cake in someone's face for their birthday.
the_snowman said: I'll play devils advocate and ask what do you have to gain by telling people about this fetish? I know that if more people knew, they most likely wouldn't be supportive and may even poke fun at me.
This is something I've struggled with because, like it was said earlier, throwing pies doesn't have to be a "fetish" thing. It can also be a fun, light hearted thing to do. Like throwing pies or a cake in someone's face for their birthday.
This is something I've struggled with because, like it was said earlier, throwing pies doesn't have to be a "fetish" thing. It can also be a fun, light hearted thing to do. Like throwing pies or a cake in someone's face for their birthday.
Imo, I think the benefit is realizing people have kinks just as odd as yours and that people don't think it's as big of a deal as you do.
Much love
I feel like this subject comes up a lot, and I understand why it feels important not to feel kink shamed for having a fetish of any kind. But I don't quite agree with waving my sex life in everyone's face. And I think the_snow asked a valid question, which is how would it benefit others to know this about you? Don't get me wrong, sex is natural and healthy and there's no reason to feel ashamed for having a libido or for enjoying sex.
But for some people sex is a boundary they don't want to cross with anyone but their significant other. And sometimes sharing intimate information about yourself can make them uncomfortable and that can be a violation of their consent if they would rather not know those things about you. Now I myself am pretty open about who I am and what I do, but I try to respect the people I know by making sure that they are comfortable with having those conversations before saying anything. I've lost some friends and humiliated myself trusting the wrong people before, so it's not something I take lightly. Besides, I prefer to have a dirty little secret that only special people know. It makes those connections more intimate and special and I appreciate those other boundaries because of that.
But for some people sex is a boundary they don't want to cross with anyone but their significant other. And sometimes sharing intimate information about yourself can make them uncomfortable and that can be a violation of their consent if they would rather not know those things about you. Now I myself am pretty open about who I am and what I do, but I try to respect the people I know by making sure that they are comfortable with having those conversations before saying anything. I've lost some friends and humiliated myself trusting the wrong people before, so it's not something I take lightly. Besides, I prefer to have a dirty little secret that only special people know. It makes those connections more intimate and special and I appreciate those other boundaries because of that.
I think there is that feeling of freedom that is felt when the burden of having to protect yourself is lifted. At least that is how I felt. Some of that freedom might explain the need some folks feel to tell others. The freedom of not letting their judgement impact you is like a fuck you, your shame means nothing. But there is also that line of throwing it in people's faces where it gets to be in bad taste. Like the people who feel the need to remind you every other conversation or so that they are an alcoholic and going to AA. Yes that is great, you made a choice that works for you and I can support that choice, but there is more to you than being in AA. If you feel the need to tell people that is great, just don't make it uncomfortable and don't try to find a way to guilt others if they make other choices. Because then you become just as bad as the people who you are now free of.
Im not saying like going and telling everyone just randomly but if the subject of kinks came up in a conversation or somehow the subject of something messy came up I wouldn't be afraid to say something or if someone found out somehow that I'm beyond the point of caring if they do. It's what I'm into.
No shoes allowed
CreamMeAgain said: I feel like this subject comes up a lot, and I understand why it feels important not to feel kink shamed for having a fetish of any kind. But I don't quite agree with waving my sex life in everyone's face. And I think the_snow asked a valid question, which is how would it benefit others to know this about you? Don't get me wrong, sex is natural and healthy and there's no reason to feel ashamed for having a libido or for enjoying sex.
But for some people sex is a boundary they don't want to cross with anyone but their significant other. And sometimes sharing intimate information about yourself can make them uncomfortable and that can be a violation of their consent if they would rather not know those things about you. Now I myself am pretty open about who I am and what I do, but I try to respect the people I know by making sure that they are comfortable with having those conversations before saying anything. I've lost some friends and humiliated myself trusting the wrong people before, so it's not something I take lightly. Besides, I prefer to have a dirty little secret that only special people know. It makes those connections more intimate and special and I appreciate those other boundaries because of that.
But for some people sex is a boundary they don't want to cross with anyone but their significant other. And sometimes sharing intimate information about yourself can make them uncomfortable and that can be a violation of their consent if they would rather not know those things about you. Now I myself am pretty open about who I am and what I do, but I try to respect the people I know by making sure that they are comfortable with having those conversations before saying anything. I've lost some friends and humiliated myself trusting the wrong people before, so it's not something I take lightly. Besides, I prefer to have a dirty little secret that only special people know. It makes those connections more intimate and special and I appreciate those other boundaries because of that.
100% agree, but if stuff comes up in conversation, More or less, I don't shy away from it or feel ashamed anymore. More or less I'll say "I'll talk about this if you genuinely want to know"
That said, I still have plenty of other things that I struggle with that bring me shame, guilt, and depression in my life
He's more potato now than man. Twisted and evil.
messy_feet_lover said: Im not saying like going and telling everyone just randomly but if the subject of kinks came up in a conversation or somehow the subject of something messy came up I wouldn't be afraid to say something or if someone found out somehow that I'm beyond the point of caring if they do. It's what I'm into.
Totally relatable
It definitely feels good to be free of the shame and guilt that can be experienced when first discovering and exploring any fetish or kink. Glad you're feeling good about it, you deserve to enjoy your sexuality and deserve to be respected as an individual CreamMeAgain said: . Besides, I prefer to have a dirty little secret that only special people know. It makes those connections more intimate and special and I appreciate those other boundaries because of that.
While I obviously haven't met you in person, I definitely think about the fun "dirty little secret" aspect when it comes to your content, particularly with the black grease custom you did for me and with the public falls in the mud you like to do. It's fun being among the people who know what you get out of it.
I feel the same here about anyone whose content I enjoy.
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