I was hoping to past another fun poll as a follow up to my last one, and I don't mean to hog the polls, but typing things out had been the best way for me to get them out of my mind. Hopefully it doesn't serve as a reminder later.
So I've been having a bunch of nightmares lately, waking up covered in sweat with with a bloat stomach. This one was arguably the worst of all though, because it took what uncomfortsble thing my fantasies stem from and uses it against me.
Obviously I like WaM, but only when it's between the relationships between sexes I'm into. When its' guy on guy or even a guy solo session I ultimately cringe becasue that's kinda the opposite of what I'm into. (NO DISRESPECT TO ANYONE INTO THAT!)
Furthermore, WaM has always been meant as a "playful" sort of thing generally in a small private group or isolated subgroup. While I can sometimes "appreciate" a fake humiliation scene for its' mess as long as I can remind myself its' acting, sometimes I can't get past the concept.
It's made growing up with this fetish even harder.
Anyway, a public food fight would not be the same to me as it probably would to other people. or would it?
Thus, i created the poll.
As always, your comments and feedback are a big help to rationalize everything going kn in my head, as well as for others too awkward to ask such a question. Thanks.
I think what you're hinting at is the line between fantasy and reality, and the similar line between privacy and openness.
For many of us, we love to dream about getting messy or making someone else messy in epic perfect scenarios. In the privacy of our own company (or for those lucky enough to have a partner who completely understands and accepts them), it's also fairly easy to play out scenarios where we get messy in a "comfortable" way.
As fetishists, the problems start when our true selves (the kinky person within) clashes with the rest of the world around us which we fear will not understand or accept us. Therefore, the reality for many is that when they end up in a real life food fight or public gunging, they are terrified, dismayed, panicked or humiliated, or just generally not turned on by it at all. The pressure is too much.
Also the introduction of less than perfect elements to the equation (I.e. other guys if you're a straight male) might be a turn off too. You've lost control of the fantasy and there are now things you don't want to be there.
This is all normal of course, and for me I've found that whilst WAM is absolutely my fetish and deeply part of who I am, it's also subjective, and in circumstances where I know it's definitely NOT sexual, I'm unlikely to get turned on in that moment. I will still have FUN getting messy, but the sex element is either delayed (I.e. wank bank for later) or sometimes removed completely. To this end, it's possible for me to have food fights or gungings in public forums such as charity events without it being uncomfortable.
I managed to get a positive reputation as the go to gunge guy for charity events at a large company I previously worked for. Each year I arranged charity gungings for key staff members, often men, sometimes pretty women. In most cases, I either poured the gunge, got gunged, got splattered, got in a gunge fight, or whatever, but it never turned me on despite being extremely fun. The context was wrong. If the girls had been in their underwear, things might have been different because it would have been sexualised. So while I can't often get horny without thinking about mess, I can get messy without getting horny. (I would take the gunge home of course and bathe in it later which was a much more sexual experience!)
Labyrinth said: I think what you're hinting at is the line between fantasy and reality, and the similar line between privacy and openness.
For many of us, we love to dream about getting messy or making someone else messy in epic perfect scenarios. In the privacy of our own company (or for those lucky enough to have a partner who completely understands and accepts them), it's also fairly easy to play out scenarios where we get messy in a "comfortable" way.
As fetishists, the problems start when our true selves (the kinky person within) clashes with the rest of the world around us which we fear will not understand or accept us. Therefore, the reality for many is that when they end up in a real life food fight or public gunging, they are terrified, dismayed, panicked or humiliated, or just generally not turned on by it at all. The pressure is too much.
Also the introduction of less than perfect elements to the equation (I.e. other guys if you're a straight male) might be a turn off too. You've lost control of the fantasy and there are now things you don't want to be there.
This is all normal of course, and for me I've found that whilst WAM is absolutely my fetish and deeply part of who I am, it's also subjective, and in circumstances where I know it's definitely NOT sexual, I'm unlikely to get turned on in that moment. I will still have FUN getting messy, but the sex element is either delayed (I.e. wank bank for later) or sometimes removed completely. To this end, it's possible for me to have food fights or gungings in public forums such as charity events without it being uncomfortable.
I managed to get a positive reputation as the go to gunge guy for charity events at a large company I previously worked for. Each year I arranged charity gungings for key staff members, often men, sometimes pretty women. In most cases, I either poured the gunge, got gunged, got splattered, got in a gunge fight, or whatever, but it never turned me on despite being extremely fun. The context was wrong. If the girls had been in their underwear, things might have been different because it would have been sexualised. So while I can't often get horny without thinking about mess, I can get messy without getting horny. (I would take the gunge home of course and bathe in it later which was a much more sexual experience!)
I'm glad you seem to get it and are helping me do the same. It's just hard or sometimes too easy to separate the fetish from the fun. Like some models don't quite understand its' a fetish or don't have it properly explained to them and there's a big issue from it. I know one guy who seemed to record college girl classmates and someone called him a sicko getting off on it, even though it was never sexual. (Sigh.)
Labyrinth said: I think what you're hinting at is the line between fantasy and reality, and the similar line between privacy and openness.
For many of us, we love to dream about getting messy or making someone else messy in epic perfect scenarios. In the privacy of our own company (or for those lucky enough to have a partner who completely understands and accepts them), it's also fairly easy to play out scenarios where we get messy in a "comfortable" way.
As fetishists, the problems start when our true selves (the kinky person within) clashes with the rest of the world around us which we fear will not understand or accept us. Therefore, the reality for many is that when they end up in a real life food fight or public gunging, they are terrified, dismayed, panicked or humiliated, or just generally not turned on by it at all. The pressure is too much.
Also the introduction of less than perfect elements to the equation (I.e. other guys if you're a straight male) might be a turn off too. You've lost control of the fantasy and there are now things you don't want to be there.
This is all normal of course, and for me I've found that whilst WAM is absolutely my fetish and deeply part of who I am, it's also subjective, and in circumstances where I know it's definitely NOT sexual, I'm unlikely to get turned on in that moment. I will still have FUN getting messy, but the sex element is either delayed (I.e. wank bank for later) or sometimes removed completely. To this end, it's possible for me to have food fights or gungings in public forums such as charity events without it being uncomfortable.
I managed to get a positive reputation as the go to gunge guy for charity events at a large company I previously worked for. Each year I arranged charity gungings for key staff members, often men, sometimes pretty women. In most cases, I either poured the gunge, got gunged, got splattered, got in a gunge fight, or whatever, but it never turned me on despite being extremely fun. The context was wrong. If the girls had been in their underwear, things might have been different because it would have been sexualised. So while I can't often get horny without thinking about mess, I can get messy without getting horny. (I would take the gunge home of course and bathe in it later which was a much more sexual experience!)
This 100% I would often be tasked with running the messy games night at my churches youth group nights because I had an idea of what to do and the clean invoved. It was never sexual at all.
The foam run I do is the same, I do it because I enjoy getting messy and muddy and wet in clothes, and I get to see what I like in the same situation. But what that does mean is I'm not running around with a boner. I'll just save it for it.
Labyrinth said: I think what you're hinting at is the line between fantasy and reality, and the similar line between privacy and openness.
For many of us, we love to dream about getting messy or making someone else messy in epic perfect scenarios. In the privacy of our own company (or for those lucky enough to have a partner who completely understands and accepts them), it's also fairly easy to play out scenarios where we get messy in a "comfortable" way.
As fetishists, the problems start when our true selves (the kinky person within) clashes with the rest of the world around us which we fear will not understand or accept us. Therefore, the reality for many is that when they end up in a real life food fight or public gunging, they are terrified, dismayed, panicked or humiliated, or just generally not turned on by it at all. The pressure is too much.
Also the introduction of less than perfect elements to the equation (I.e. other guys if you're a straight male) might be a turn off too. You've lost control of the fantasy and there are now things you don't want to be there.
This is all normal of course, and for me I've found that whilst WAM is absolutely my fetish and deeply part of who I am, it's also subjective, and in circumstances where I know it's definitely NOT sexual, I'm unlikely to get turned on in that moment. I will still have FUN getting messy, but the sex element is either delayed (I.e. wank bank for later) or sometimes removed completely. To this end, it's possible for me to have food fights or gungings in public forums such as charity events without it being uncomfortable.
I managed to get a positive reputation as the go to gunge guy for charity events at a large company I previously worked for. Each year I arranged charity gungings for key staff members, often men, sometimes pretty women. In most cases, I either poured the gunge, got gunged, got splattered, got in a gunge fight, or whatever, but it never turned me on despite being extremely fun. The context was wrong. If the girls had been in their underwear, things might have been different because it would have been sexualised. So while I can't often get horny without thinking about mess, I can get messy without getting horny. (I would take the gunge home of course and bathe in it later which was a much more sexual experience!)
This 100% I would often be tasked with running the messy games night at my churches youth group nights because I had an idea of what to do and the clean invoved. It was never sexual at all.
The foam run I do is the same, I do it because I enjoy getting messy and muddy and wet in clothes, and I get to see what I like in the same situation. But what that does mean is I'm not running around with a boner. I'll just save it for it.
WOW! I don't think I could do that! Not from a sexual side even, but just being too overwhelmed mentally!
1. I've worked with kids before, which can go either way. 2. Ihave issues with my faith (putting it as politely as possible) I'm trying to get back into it for the sake of meeting people, but having a lot of trouble doing so. On one hand, my experience could work well with that, but I'm not sure. 3. The messy nature of course would send my mind in so many directions. 4. if it felt anywhere remotely close to humiliation or punishment, even if "for fun" and 5. It there's a cute female counselor. It sounds like a fantasy to tempt her to use the stuff with me later, but not sure if it could, would, or should switch to something not fun.
There was an old saying boys pick on girls cuz they like them, so wanting to get a girl messy could be interpreted as that in the grans scheme of things. Maybe I'm thinking to hard about it, but in a world of pedophiles and lawyers its' hard not to.
Then again too, it seems like virtually any adult involved with those is just doing it because of their own child or spouse being involved. I thought the church could be a great place to make new friends, but ultimately people go to church because they are either greatful for their blessings or something is wrong with their lives (drugs, too many kids, money, etc.) I'm sorry if I seem shallow or stereotypical, but so far it seems true.
There's just no bars or anything well known in the area to meet people, so this is just another idea. So if I seem shallow for doing is, what else should I do/try?
Again, sorry for all this; I'm just in a pretty dark point in my life right now. :,(
I'd say if it makes you or anyone around you uncomfortable (or risks doing so), don't do it. If WAM is a fetish for you, then determine that if it's potentially likely you will become turned on by getting messy in a public activity, this could be awkward both for the other person (in the essence of being a non-consenting partner), and for you (if you don't know how to deal with those feelings).
Some people like to get messy and turned on in public, discretely or openly, but the difference is that the thrill is nobody knows how turned on they are - it's secret. And they control it and keep it for them only.
In my experience, Messy Church is actually neither messy (in our sense of the word) or really geared for adults, and therefore is not an appropriate place to examine whether you enjoy messing in public or not.
Consider staying out of activities where the question of enjoyment occurs at all for now, and just focus on making those situations you know you definitely will enjoy happen. Maybe you try some discrete mud play first or just keep things behind closed doors at the moment. Messy activities can take a lot of planning, so don't rely on spontaneity.
WAM can be a lonely place sometimes, but it doesn't have to be an unhappy one. Keep enjoying getting messy in safe and fun ways, and focus on accepting your fetish as part of who you are when you do it. It's liberating to enjoy being true to yourself, and it doesn't have to be public for a world that isn't ready to receive that part of you. We all have secrets - some naughtier than others. In time, you'll meet someone open enough to chat to about it, but I don't expect it'll end in a food fight. You might need to plan that one out in advance with a very open minded person.
Labyrinth said: I'd say if it makes you or anyone around you uncomfortable (or risks doing so), don't do it. If WAM is a fetish for you, then determine that if it's potentially likely you will become turned on by getting messy in a public activity, this could be awkward both for the other person (in the essence of being a non-consenting partner), and for you (if you don't know how to deal with those feelings).
Some people like to get messy and turned on in public, discretely or openly, but the difference is that the thrill is nobody knows how turned on they are - it's secret. And they control it and keep it for them only.
In my experience, Messy Church is actually neither messy (in our sense of the word) or really geared for adults, and therefore is not an appropriate place to examine whether you enjoy messing in public or not.
Consider staying out of activities where the question of enjoyment occurs at all for now, and just focus on making those situations you know you definitely will enjoy happen. Maybe you try some discrete mud play first or just keep things behind closed doors at the moment. Messy activities can take a lot of planning, so don't rely on spontaneity.
WAM can be a lonely place sometimes, but it doesn't have to be an unhappy one. Keep enjoying getting messy in safe and fun ways, and focus on accepting your fetish as part of who you are when you do it. It's liberating to enjoy being true to yourself, and it doesn't have to be public for a world that isn't ready to receive that part of you. We all have secrets - some naughtier than others. In time, you'll meet someone open enough to chat to about it, but I don't expect it'll end in a food fight. You might need to plan that one out in advance with a very open minded person.
Yeah, you are right.
The truth is the one time I did try WaMing by myself it did nothing for me. Having said that, just because others nd myself are getting messy doing something doesn't mean it will be a turn-on or lead to anything. Furthermore, if nothing good will likely come of it, than that just leaves the element I HATE about WaM as a possibility.
typing it out now, I feel kinda stupid for it, but ultimately it was more it less brainstorming with people and getting their feedback/views in the subject. I can probably do a whole other pole on it later, but the fact "pleasure" can be obtained "forcefully" through humiliation REALLY BOTHERS ME to the point where if I see or read something like it, my mind instantly seems to put myself in the person's shoes.
Well, when you see "humiliation" on these forums, it's generally in fact pleasurable for both people involved. From a WAM context, the person doing the messing gets pleasure from messing someone up "in a humiliating way", and the person being messed up also gets pleasure from "being humiliated". It's entirely consensual.
If someone is actually getting pleasure "forcefully" then you'd probably be right to be bothered by it.
However if you simply enjoy the idea of being "forced", and actually want that, see above.
We're complex beasts, and there is no true right or wrong in our thinking, only in how we present ourselves to others and how others may receive that.
It depends. I was a bartender for 15 years and the last couple of years I worked in a Mexican restaurant, where it isn't rare for cake/pie fights to occur.
The most memorable one was at one of the waitresses birthday party after hours at the restaurant. Me and my attractive female co worker bartender watched The servers have a cake/whipped cream pie fight after singing happy birthday. I had a small paper plate of a decent amount of whipped cream hidden by me. I had previously told the staff I don't like to play those pie games (I feel like I'm taking advantage of people/and it's weird when it's only guys) but sometimes people don't listen.
My bartender co worker at one point sneak attacks me with a handful of whip cream and "pies" me. She laughs at me but doesn't move away, not realizing I'm armed. So I pies her amazingly in the face. So she does the usual wiping from her eyes, she hits me on my CHest playfully, and as she goes to walk away to the bathroom to wash up she hip checks me.
At this point I have a raging hard on and she manages to put her ass directly into it. Her mouth drops open as she stares at me through wide eye pied face. She smiles, and she goes and cleans off.
The weekend after she asked me playfully if I found the pie fight arousing, and I said yes. She smiled and never mentioned it again. I was married and she had a bf so we never discussed it any further.
Labyrinth said: Well, when you see "humiliation" on these forums, it's generally in fact pleasurable for both people involved. From a WAM context, the person doing the messing gets pleasure from messing someone up "in a humiliating way", and the person being messed up also gets pleasure from "being humiliated". It's entirely consensual.
If someone is actually getting pleasure "forcefully" then you'd probably be right to be bothered by it.
However if you simply enjoy the idea of being "forced", and actually want that, see above.
We're complex beasts, and there is no true right or wrong in our thinking, only in how we present ourselves to others and how others may receive that.
I guess that is ultimately the big issue. Guess I'm just not sure how to not come off as a creep when meeting people I want to get close with let alone how I would present myself and my fetish to another!
Also, I never understood "fake it till you make it." If it were that east, everyone would do it!
Hendog106 said: It depends. I was a bartender for 15 years and the last couple of years I worked in a Mexican restaurant, where it isn't rare for cake/pie fights to occur.
The most memorable one was at one of the waitresses birthday party after hours at the restaurant. Me and my attractive female co worker bartender watched The servers have a cake/whipped cream pie fight after singing happy birthday. I had a small paper plate of a decent amount of whipped cream hidden by me. I had previously told the staff I don't like to play those pie games (I feel like I'm taking advantage of people/and it's weird when it's only guys) but sometimes people don't listen.
My bartender co worker at one point sneak attacks me with a handful of whip cream and "pies" me. She laughs at me but doesn't move away, not realizing I'm armed. So I pies her amazingly in the face. So she does the usual wiping from her eyes, she hits me on my CHest playfully, and as she goes to walk away to the bathroom to wash up she hip checks me.
At this point I have a raging hard on and she manages to put her ass directly into it. Her mouth drops open as she stares at me through wide eye pied face. She smiles, and she goes and cleans off.
The weekend after she asked me playfully if I found the pie fight arousing, and I said yes. She smiled and never mentioned it again. I was married and she had a bf so we never discussed it any further.
Well I guess now I know where I need to consider working, but when you say "taken advantage of," you just mean targeted as the only guy there? Wow, talk about hitting the nail right on the head with my poll!
Either way, if you still aren't seeing another, you owe it to all of us and yourself to look this girl up! These things don't get to happen to mortals like us (or at least me.)!
Well I guess now I know where I need to consider working, but when you say "taken advantage of," you just mean targeted as the only guy there? Wow, talk about hitting the nail right on the head with my poll!
Either way, if you still aren't seeing another, you owe it to all of us and yourself to look this girl up! These things don't get to happen to mortals like us (or at least me.)!
Ah. When I say I don't want to take advantage of them Is that I don't want to use their willingness for pie fights when they think it's just innocent fun. I'd feel creepy.
Also, if it's just me and other dudes it feels kind of "homo erotic" to me. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'm not into guys.
Hah, I do still think about her but I'm pretty sure she still has a bf. From what I know through the grape vine that wouldn't stop her, but I don't need bad Juju like that.
Well I guess now I know where I need to consider working, but when you say "taken advantage of," you just mean targeted as the only guy there? Wow, talk about hitting the nail right on the head with my poll!
Either way, if you still aren't seeing another, you owe it to all of us and yourself to look this girl up! These things don't get to happen to mortals like us (or at least me.)!
Ah. When I say I don't want to take advantage of them Is that I don't want to use their willingness for pie fights when they think it's just innocent fun. I'd feel creepy.
Also, if it's just me and other dudes it feels kind of "homo erotic" to me. There's nothing wrong with that, but I'm not into guys.
Hah, I do still think about her but I'm pretty sure she still has a bf. From what I know through the grape vine that wouldn't stop her, but I don't need bad Juju like that.
whatever you're comfortable with I guess (sigh), man I never wanted to be "that guy", but for the chance at a fun girl!? then again, I'd rather have the relationship, so obviously this would just be filler.
Anyway, I think I's honorable you were like that i don't think I could hold back. I'd either be too nervous to function or too horny not to start. I guess it would just depend on what they're comfortable with. Heck, it's possible they might make it a point to "play" with you because you like it "so much." but now I think i'm delving into fantasizing