Sque1ch said: Mine has to be margarine...in half kilo or kilo tubs.
1/ It just feels so wrong (but right!) to stick your fingers into the tub and scoop out a big fistful.
2/It looks perfect smeared over a nice dark suit and stockings.
3/It makes the ideal shampoo
4/Knickerfilling with it is so lovely and rude.

Caroline Walker said: This really difficult because, as others have said, different products produce such varied results and sensations that it is almost unfair declare one a favourite over all the others. Often it depends on the mood one is in at the time.

Having said that, if I was forced to plump for just one, it would have to be mud - and outdoors in the countryside. The act of taking that first step into a pool of mud, not knowing how far down you will sink, and watching your shoes and stockings sinking out of sight is wonderful. Then deciding just how long you will wade about before the inevitable fall and total sliming of your pretty clothes.

Of course, once you are down and dirty the mud seeps slowly into the most intimate places!

But my main reason for declaring mud my favourite substance is that you have to make a journey to get to your site, thus giving time for the anticipation to build. Also there is the thrill of never knowing whether you might be seen by someone - particularly as you make your way back dripping mud from all your clothes!

(Just writing this makes me want to get all dolled up and take a trip to a particularly muddy field I know!)