I have 2 things that I need advice on.

1. For those of us who aren't able to get messy as much as we'd like, how do you deal with the wam withdrawals? Seeing pictures and videos isn't enough. I need to feel a pie hit my face and goo dripping off my head.

2. How do you deal with a spouse who has no interest in your fetish? My wife used to be ok pieing me but now she wants no part in it at all.

Thanks!

This is just a bizarre concept to me, because part of a healthy relationship is sharing and taking part in what your significant other enjoys. I know everyone is different and people have their limits, which is fine. But still. Does your wife have any kinks she would like to try? Maybe you guys can engage in a little quid pro quo.

I don't know much about you.

How often are you able to get messy?
How often do you need to?

What changed, with your wife, do you think?

All of my Wamming has been, er away fixtures! I used to see a girl at an escort agency who liked it, and prior to that, I had a bit of extra marital with a girl I used to work with who liked it too!

Both, sadly, no longer available so I am currently in wam withdrawal too

For those of you with wives who won't get messy, I have one question:

How much is she insured for?

That sucks you can't cheat on your wife anymore.

1. Masturbate furiously No really, some days I do. It generally doesn't help either. Part of the problem is that WAM is too visual for me. Watching a beautiful model get messy does more for me than getting messy myself. If I do it myself I feel like I just wasted money and/or food. I need a partner (fairly intimate at that) for it to mean anything.

2. The handful of times my ex-wife indulged me with wetlook, and the singular time they got all out messy with me were times of my life. However, looking back I feel guilty about them. They were willing to try but absolutely hated it. It also didn't help they have really sensitive skin. They were kind and willing enough to open the marriage before they decided they were non-binary trans and we got divorced. Nothing ever came of it though.

All I can say here is discuss it. Will she just flat out not do it, or doesn't want to? Why? Ask her what her kinks are. How is your sex life otherwise? Are you getting enough, is she? No matter what anyone says, sex and attraction are VERY important parts of a marriage. How necessary is it for you to get off? Can you and are you willing to live without it?

She might have really good reasons why she doesn't want to do it. I don't know that.

These are questions the two of you have to answer, and very honestly if you want a resolution.

A healthy marriage is love reciprocated. If one side is loving in one or more areas and the other isn't, it's going to cause problems. Those will be exacerbated without communication. And communication won't happen without trust.

My best wishes to you and your missus. I truly hope you can work something positive out that is to the liking for both of you.

@mrangry I don't condone cheating; at the same time, I can't possibly know what your situation was. I hope it was worth it and worked out for both of you in the end.

Well with an attitude like that, you probably would go to prison! Sheesh.

I get wam withdrawals sometimes, mainly in the winter when it's too cold. But the way I see it is I enjoy the sessions I do get all the more because of the break. As to relationship stuff I feel loathe to comment as I don't see things as black and white as I once did.

Thanks for all the responses. I hesitated to post this because I don't want to make it seem like my wife is a monster or something. Her value is FAR greater to me than anything wam has to offer and I won't give her up just because she doesn't like to see me messy. On the other hand, I do have needs that need to be met. I think if we sit down and talk about it and I don't constintaly bring it up, she will be more willing.

I would love to hear from some of the ladies on here who had their husband or boyfriend introduce them to wam. What was your initial reaction?

I'll cross my fingers that things go well when you two talk!

This is pure speculation, but maybe when your wife hit you with a pie, she felt guilt over the humiliation aspect. Our natural instinct is to respect and honor our spouses or partners, so she might be having a hard time reconciling that with doing something to you that by outward appearances would be seen as degrading, even if it was at your request. (I'd imagine "talking dirty" to one's partner would fall under the same category, i.e. some of us would be reluctant to do it even if asked.)

I would recommend going out of your way to reassure her that you're interested in HER far more than you are in getting messy. Show her that you value the relationship you have with her, because when all else is said and done, it's doubtful that many lasting and meaningful relationships are based on engaging in a kink without any other connections or shared interests.

Best of luck!!

Often things like this are evidence of communication issues. If she really understands what pleases you, and wants to do it, she will. If she has some un-dealt with issues that she may not be talking about, she won't want to. How is your relationship, most importantly your communication? Do you talk about other things as much as you used to?

1. I enjoy both wet and messy. Most years in the warmer months, I get wet every chance I get, generally about once a week, most weeks a few times. I live pretty close to a river for swimming clothed, and roller blade in the city followed by a cool down session in a fountain with heavy jets. The shower at home isn't the same as the heavy fountain jets, and the tub is a really poor substitute for a full dip in the river, so when it gets cold in the fall, I go into withdrawal until the water warms up enough the following year. Unfortunately, this year has been an incredibly rainy one, so most of the summer the river was to dangerously swift for swimming and I only had one opportunity, and nice days for roller blading were seldom, so my withdrawal has been significantly extended. Mess takes a lot of planning and clean up, but between participating in games boards on UMD, and having to fill the need, I've been doing it a bit more than I used to. One minor up side....at the end of the summer when I was pulling up my garden, it was wet and mushy enough for me to play in the mud in my own yard.

2. My wife knows what a turn on it is for me to get wet and messy, and tried on multiple occasions to join me. She's been in a couple of pools, a river, a fountain, a couple of showers and a really wet and deep foam party with me. Unfortunately, it not only doesn't do anything for her, but it absolutely turns her off to be in wet clothes. It's not very sexy to have the person you love doing something you know she hates. We love each other and satisfy each other in the area of plain vanilla sex, but our fetishes don't line up at all. To that end, we have a semi-open relationship. Which means we can't hang out in bars or cruise parties looking for partners for plain vanilla heterosexual hook ups. But if we have an opportunity to play with someone into the same things we're into, we encourage each other. Not that there's a line of folks banging down the door of an older, married guy with a fetish most of the world isn't even aware of...