Wow see a lot of us have our heavenly WAM partners, not as rare as one might think! And Vampiress I totally understand, I have a day job too and even though its very unlikely and there would be some Ha ha you too remarks I don't mix work with pleasure.

Keep it up UMD members, I know for a fact there are more WAM partners out there... How about the ladies of WAM, you shy?

Phil

I had a fantastic WAM partner for 14+ years. She'd never heard of it before meeting me. Like a lot of people will say here: You won't find a woman into WAM, you must teach your partner to love it.

My new kinda sorta girlfriend told me last night she wanted to get covered in mud next month. She's done fetish stuff but never mud or wetlook. It's all about approach, respect, and fun. Oh, and oral sex. Go down on her for at least an hour before and/or after. This seems to help.

While I agree in spirit with Noise's advice (to "make it about her")...I have to note that this approach (without any real understanding on her part of what it means to have a fetish) is, in fact, a (psychological) "trick"...meant to appeal to a woman's desire to be viewed as uniquely sexy and attractive to her mate, etc (thus feeding her ego)....For those for whom this is a strong fetish: If the woman is completely ignorant about how fetishes work (in the mind of the fetishist) then she might go along with this approach (or, be persuaded by it)...but if she understands what a fetish is, how it works, etc....then she must realize that the fetish object IS (to various degrees) sexual, or, more accurately, a sexual power object...and, that this object, applied to any other woman (found to be attractive by the fetishist) -- whether clothing or substance -- WILL be a turn on (the indirect proof of which is that many wam fetishists visit the umd)....Any woman who understands fetishism will realize this.

Thus, in my thinking...the best way to approach the issue is with honesty (about fetishism)...perhaps encouraging one's partner to investigate the topic on-line, and THEN let her know that, because she is special to you ("love" or whatever), this would make the fetish experience/pleasure MORE exciting, more satisfying (thus, making it about her AND being honest that it is a fetish that works pretty much automatically).

Another lucky chap with an actively wamming wife here. Also not something she was into before we met. But something she was happy to try to make me happy, and which she admits to having come to find at least a little sexually exciting herself, if only by association.

A significant part of any reasonably well functioning relationship is surely a degree of 'what can I do to make you happy?' from both sides. WAM's really pretty innocuous really, and I really struggle to believe that its not possible to find some aspect of it that can be used as a starting point with any partner. And once you've started, things tend to continue and progress... Sure, if your opening gambit is 'I'd really like to tie you up in your best dress and drag you through a swamp until your just an unrecognisable, smelly, ball of mud', the reaction is quite likely to be 'no way'! But are there many women who'd say no if told by their partner that, say, he'd love to lick chocolate off her nipples? Or sip champagne from her belly-button? Or massage her with oil? All potential ways into the fetish. Start small, and things will grow big, is my experience

This is my amazing girl who I have been lucky enough to be with for almost a year now - some of you may remember her from here...

Well, thats a strategy I hadn't thought of before......
... You'll have to keep us posted about your new 'kinda sorta' . Good luck.
Hopefuly wont get too cool upstate next month..

Was she known as "Bundgirl" on here?

She was lovely and got into some pretty good messes! :lovestruck:

I love the two pics that you posted!

Norman

Ya see its not as rare as you might think....

Great thread....

Phil

Knew I was right to put my money on you, Norman

Woah, woah, woah... easy there Tiger!

Why is making it about her a trick?

If you make it totally about the thing, then she doesn't matter and it could be any woman sitting there covered in goo.

It's not about appealing to ego, it's about treating her as a human being rather than purely as a sex object. Applies to straightforward sexual relationship and any kind of fetish, if early in a relationship a woman thinks in your eyes she is nothing but a fuck pillow interchangeable with any other fuck pillow... she will not be into anything and you'll wonder why she isn't picking up the phone or returning text messages real quick.




I'm not for a minute suggesting pretending it's not a fetish or anything of the sort. I think you very much misunderstood my message.

Using tricks to get a woman to do stuff is the mark of a lonely loser. Not what I'm suggesting at all, in the slightest, whatsoever.

Everything is so much better when its give with enthusiasm, freely and fun.... Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy...

Phil

Is this that "third-wave feminism" I keep reading about on Slate??

Noise

I found your reply to my comment a bit late, sorry for the late response.

I was not meaning to challenge or impune your advice at all....only to point out that the "making it about her" advice left out the assumption that she understands what a fetish is (which is not a given; fetishism being rare in females) and that it's something that you largely can't help from feeling or change.

My intent was only to point out that -- absent this understanding -- making it about her can still be a form of psychological persuasion (i.e., a "trick", which I put in quotes)...also: the reality is: the fetish will "work" regardless of whether the female is in fact a "love" interest, or purely a sexual interest...it is automatic, for the most part.

My point was, if she does not get this (about fetishes), then she will likely think that the fetish object/experience is more of a turn on that she is (and she would not be entirely wrong there)...thus requiring some persuasion on your part. Thus, my advice to have a discussion about fetishism, and THEN also let her know that you would find her even more sexy (than you already do) when she becomes part of the fetish, somehow...which is a more open way of approaching things, imo.

Otherwise, I think your advice is good.