It's Saturday Night, the telly is on and Vole Gingerbeard is hosting 'Vole's Dwelling Jamboree' a programme for adults.

There's a vote where a gorgeous woman could get gunged. It's a vote on women drivers... the chauvinist vs the feminist.

Vole is saying... "We have two ideal candidates for the gunge tank vote this week. These two people represent the two opposite extremes of a universal debate, that of women drivers. The two candidates in question are Feminist Epiphany Jones and the noted chauvinist Rod Whitestar, and have been feuding for months about this. The chauvinist says that women drivers are absolutely awful, and Epiphany thinks they're better than the men. So we will let the nation decide to settle the debate once and for all."

But we all know it's the fella that always gets it on these things. How many time have we hoped the hot girl gets it, only to find it's the guy getting gunged? Indeed the first round of voting does not look good for those who hope to see a gorgeous woman in expensive clothes receiving the black sump oil all over them.

But... maybe this time can be different, because you, the good people of UMD can vote. I have started a poll here and maybe...just maybe if we all vote, we can turn the tide. Of course if you think Rod should get it, you really don't need to bother voting. Look at those scores. It's surely in the bag .

Anyway through the magic of fantasy, I will ensure the votes from UMD get added to those in the TV world...and I will keep you posted.

Maybe..just this once....the beautiful woman can get it. But it all depends on you.

Please vote..and send us a reply telling us who you want to see gunged and why!

Final note: This is obviously a bit of a fun way to introduce a forthcoming scene. Mods please note that this will be the one and only promo thread for this scene, as per the rules.

Also you may think it's highly unlikely that we will get the exact same models in the exact same clothes back to enact whatever verdict is released. You may feel the scene is already filmed. You'd of course be right...but I am hoping the point is to get into the spirit of things, to feel part of a movement to right the wrongs of so many Saturday nights of days of yore and for us to live that joy together...but only if we get the votes

While Epiphany is lovely, I really can't have any truck with what she's wearing, that skirt is way too short, had she worn a nice knee-length one - or a pair of city shorts - then she'd have been in with a shout. But dressed like that? Nah, no chance. So I voted for Rod, as at least that suit should take a nice covering when the tank unleashes its slippery fate.

Btw, I love how the seat in the tank appears to be already gunged and and slimy. So whichever of them wins the vote, they're going to feel the seat of their trousers / skirt get all nice and soggy under them even before the deluge begins. Nice. Squelchy. Mmmm!

I'm looking forward to this.

Hopefully the camera won't cut away just before the gunging in order to follow Vole jogging up the stairs to the next item involving a tedious and drawn out 'GotThem' Oscar for popular bevvy-weight boxer Harry MaBiggun.

Love this! Just personally wish there was a leather or PVC outfit involved.

Hmmm interesting

So if we do some chauvinism then one of your babes will send us to the tank. let's make some magic.
Women can't drive, do plumbing and particularly parallel park. oh not funny either.

No, don't have a babe gunge me in front of a bunch of her sexy baying friends...

Thanks Victoria. Did anyone ever take any notice of the preamble, pleas and arguments I wonder? In any event, I am delighted you have voted with your heart not your head, and just chosen the person you want to see destroyed with sump oil

Really DM1...Really? . I thought we could rely on you to help us ensure that for once the woman didn't escape.

Here we have an honest and just crusade to right the wrongs of the past (ie the men always being gunged) and you have voted for the man because Epiphany is wearing a short skirt. . Poor Rod...his suit is new. I hope you don't start a trend. Which reminds me of a bts anecdote I must mention once the scene goes live. Someone remind me please

That made me laugh, not least because when presenting this scene, my first line is "That was Grab A Gran..the game where you have to take hold of an aging relative...and now the gungetank vote". I see we share the same traumatic memories (as, of course, does the excellent UMDer who commissioned the scene (and did the cool graphics). A lot of demons being exorcized here (hopefully..unless DM1's madness takes hold!)

Thanks so much..I am thrilled that you love it. This was a custom scene so the outfits were selected by the customer (tho I happen to love them). Shameless plug alert: You'd be more than welcome to commission a custom with leather or PVCs...we love making people's wam dreams come to life .

My DMs are open

It's working. Keep voting..as I think the tide is slowly turning......

Vole has sent me the latest % now your votes have been factored in. Don't stop...we can do this!

Back in the '90s I don't think I could have fantasised a more ideal candidate than one who looks like Epiphany - or indeed outfit. Top marks to the scene patron!

Voted for Epiphany.

And if any female models are reading this, Rod genuinely believes you can't drive properly.

Loving this, frustratingly remembering this actual vote on Saturday night tv! Other frustrations were the bus driver v taxi driver and Phillipa Forester v Timmy Mallett.

This is wonderful. Surely must became a series?

Oddly the series I remember was fairly balanced, a man one week, a woman the next. I think eventually they started having the vote either between two women, or two men, possibly deliberately? Though as it was 30+ years ago memory may be fading.

But sorry, outfits are the absolute deal-maker-or-breaker for me, and of the two of them, Rod's outfit is by far the nicer, so he gets the vote. Gunge him! Now if you'd put Epiphany in a nice amart trouser suit, hmm, how can I cast 20 votes?

Trouso I am with you on this one. As a young man whose fancy lightly turned to thoughts of gorgeous women being gunged, Epiphany, and her lovely outfit, couldn't have suited my tastes more.

DM1: Each to their own. Each to their own.

Pasta: Whitestar literally apologised to Epiphany 14 times during filming. I was like "Stop it...everyone knows you are just acting a role. No-one would suggest that you actually thought those things". Yeah..so thanks for that Pasta .

Thank you. This was one of my favourite recent customs to make. I really hope everyone loves it as much as you.

Okay team...lets say it's a success and we ant to do more. Who should we have for the female model next. Maybe we need Mortimer as the man (that would certainly ensure the woman gets gunged!!).

What set-ups should we recreate or use.

Mr Bump has suggested Bus Driver v Taxi Driver.

Maybe someone from the HMRC (Tax Inspector) V Businessman or Traffic Warden v Driver.

What do you think? and who should star?

The Saturday Roadshow 1988-90 was very balanced in that respect (although we were spoiled by an initial slew of female contestants for the first few weeks of series 1) and the 'In other Words' game was played pretty much at the same time every week (I could set my top-loading video recorder by it). It was also pre-recorded.

The House Party, however, was live and, gunge-wise, in trying to be more inventive, I suspect, became somewhat unpredictable. But not in a good way. My outstanding memory of House Party was that of frustration. Whilst in retrospect there were a few females gunged - it was probably only around a dozen of note during the best part of a decade. JD's Gen Game (shown beforehand) tended to deliver more reliably at that time.

Interesting! I missed out on Roadshow completely, had no idea there were gungings involved, likewise The Generationm Game, but I became aware of gunge on NHP from a ranting letter (possibly from Mary Whitehouse?) in either the Radio Times of a newspaper, thoroughly slagging the very first episode of the show off and mentioning "an innocent girl covered in green slime" in amongst the many criticisms. Needles to say I made a point of watching the second one the following week, where they gunged a man. But the week after that was a woman and my memories are of it reliably switching gender from male to female and back again every 2 weeks. Then again I may have just only noticed the female ones.

I do remember when they gunged actual Mary Whitehouse, instead of the usual high bar stool in the tank they had her on a standard plastic chair (given she was about 80 I guess the high stool was too risky), so she was sitting much more leaning back and the gunge came down all over her dress and into her lap - a vast improvement on the usual "bounces off the head and is mostly wasted all over the inside of the tank" approach, sadly they went back to the stool aftewards.

I make a point of telling my people to move about in our gunge tank, in particular just a moment after the first fall lands on their heads, to lean back so the gunge can start to go all down the front of their outfits and into their laps or between their legs, and also move sideways so each shoulder gets some, before putting their head back under the flow.

TBH it was stuff like this that made me want to shoot my own videos, long before I had any idea there was anyone else on the planet who got turned on seeing fully clothed women get messy. Thinking back to that pre-Internet age, how little we actually knew about anything, looking something up meant an in an encyclopedia probably bought 20 years previously.

Mary Whitehouse was actually gunged on Saturday Roadshow - as was Nina Myskow. Although NSR and NHP were different show formats (Roadshow pretended to visit various worldwide destinations and was pre-recorded and NHP was live and set in Noel's 'mansion') they were ostensibly very, very similar and the change (1991) probably went largely unnoticed. It was the same tank (although they dressed it up in faux antique fretwork panelling for S1 of NHP - Charlotte blue gunge) and was the same one eventually owned by you know who.

I only noticed these details because - well, I was a weirdo and used to get a bit secretly obsessed with any TV source of WAM in those days.

I agree that the design of the tank and its release methods were a little bit lame by our specialist standards - the early ones were light on the gunge but once they'd increased the pressure and improved the consistency they created a new problem of immediately obliterating the view of the action with splatter on the glass door.

To paraphrase the title of Austin Powers book:

Mean-spirited, one-sided faux gunge votes, and me: This sort of thing IS my bag, baby

You have a lot of female models - is everyone actually available? Does it have to be based on an actual escape? Doctor v nurse might be fun (given it is the 90s we can stick to stereotypes) - I'd love to see tights and the woman take off her shoes when (if ) she loses.

Dhillarealive: That is groovy, baby!!

Guest 1: I think none of us knows what the future will bring. But as we are all wammers, it's always fun to discuss what we'd love to see happen...and when the Spring comes and it's filming time, we will see what the realities are. But for now, just thought we could all throw out set-ups and models who might work well in this format.

Doctor v Nurse sounds a great one. Driver v Traffic Warden could work too.

Lawyer v Client? I am sure you guys have better ideas

Ooh, okay, we'll have business to discuss anyway next year but also I could whip up a really mean-spirited this kind of "v Nurse" scenario if no-one else does, particularly if we could get the model playing them into this kind of costume for it (I know this woman *was* actually gunged on NHP, but not as well as could have been thanks to the filming of it being awful)

It's kind of interesting to me that the beeb hired a pair of actual porn girls in 1998 to gunge lol.
does make me wonder about the whole kissogram/stripper premise that the panel had to decode.
I mean if they're both porn stars then probably both do/did some stripping, seems pretty usual

If only the show had run another ten years could i have seen Rebeca Linares, Dora Venter, Sasha Grey, Julia Taylor etc etc take a spin through the great house's gunge facilities? Probably not, I'll console myself lol

Fantastic concept, especially for those of us left disappointed with some of the 90s gunge outcomes.

Replaying
Ellen Jameson was well dressed and smug as she probably knew she would escape.
Philippa Forrester.
A couple of women who sat in the tank on the Saturday roadshow but won the game or a reprieve. The women who won when sat with Bruno, Donavan and Edwards spring to mind.

Fantasy ideas - yoga/fitness instructor in Lycra, a ballet dancer, CEO v worker.

Aha, fair enough, I guess mentally I've merged the two in my mind.

I remember the tank went through several incarnations on NHP, in particular the change to the "conveyor tank" which was presumably done as a response to the side-splatter problem, where the victim's seat moved along a track out of the tank and into view to reveal their fully gunged state after the gunging. I loved the one of Aneka Rice in that tank, her outfit was absolutely perfect.

I wonder what happened to the conveyor tank? That's not the one that ended up in Bristol as that still had a solid back panel, and the conveyor would have needed different side-to-side bracing to make up for the lack of front and rear panels.


Likewise at the time, but once I discovered commercially produced WAM was a thing, I largely lost interest in mainstream WAM, and long ago disposed of my taped-off-TV collection. I've never been into celebrity culture so have never cared if someone getting messy is world famous or just a lass the producer met in a club, as long as she's wearing something I like, she appears to be enjoying the situation, and crucially, it's well filmed so we can actually properly see and savour what is happening. Which you almost never get in mainstream TV.


Hence I suspect the later conveyor tank to let the audience see the aftermath. I did always wonder if there was possibly a wammer, or at least someone aware of the fetish, somewhere on the production crew for NHP.


to both of those!

Dhills: Perfect. Lets talk a Doctor v Nurse scenario. I think that outfit looks just perfect. I think we could make something special.

thiswas20: Some fantastic ideas there....they are all good, but yoga instructor v ballet dancer particularly tickled my fancy

DM1: I am delighted you approve of that one too

Me too! Always wondered what happened to the conveyor "car wash" tank would love to see it brought back to life!

It was the best one, shame it only lasted one season. Hope it still survives and may emerge, probably doesn't though.
The brilliance of it is how exposed the victim is at the beginning and end. At the end they sit facing out, then there's the building tension as they trundle towards their date with the slop, then they are driven out and turned to be displayed to the audience. They should have let them sit there for the rest of the show imho.
The only thing that would've made Annekka's outfit better ,to my mind, was if it wasn't shorts at the bottom but a high leg swimsuit.