Now I'm not into any other fetishes so I'm not sure if this is the case across the board but why are there so many socially inept people that are into wam?

Whether it's obsessive posting on Twitter, Facebook or YouTube to people who don't view this as a fetish or to people who are into it yet they seemingly think it's ALL they do and dont have a social life.

Is it a case of every fetish/interest people have that there's always people who are obsessive and irrational or is wam just seemingly full of more?

I haven't done a scientific study, but I suppose it's just that other fetishes don't get as much opportunity to be inappropriate with people who aren't interested in what they are doing sexually. I take it you mean some idiot who says sexual stuff on a youtube video of, say, a church youth group pie fundraiser, right? How many church youthgroup heavy bondage fundraisers do you see?

I was thinking more about the less obvious stuff. Just all the posts on any dare video's. Seems innocent to them but really isn't.

Like when I first joined here years ago. Within a day or 2 I had a message from a 50 year old CD asking were on the Wirral I was from and did I want to meet up. My profile said I was 18. Now to me that's just odd and not a normal way to go about things.

The UMD has a long-standing--and not entirely unwarranted--reputation as the socially inept area of this fetish. Not saying EVERYONE here is that way... But the ones who are tend to lurk and troll around its edges. Other smaller WAM forums around the Net don't have near the same kind of problems.

Quickest way to freak out the uploader of an innoncent pie or slime video on YT? Post the link on the UMD. 50/50 chance the clip is pulled within hours. :-S

I remember a while back you made a pretty urgent plea asking UMD'ers not to contact your girls inappropriately. Is this still a problem?

There are other WAM forums?

We've actually had this problem with our "normal" Facebook and twitter pages that we use to advertise our Dunk Tank and Gunge Tank hire business. We actually had somebody from here posting on a clients Facebook page asking for more pictures of the Dunk Tank in use. We have had to gradually block people from our twitter feed as well for the same reasons. Great shame really that people can't be discreet with "normal" posts by people completely unaware of the WAM fetish

I think the problem is that on internet forums, and youtube comments, and twitter, one is inclined to come across idiots. That's nothing to do with WAM, that's entirely to do with the fact that they are internet forums, and youtube comments, and twitter.

Particularly twitter; I would be surprised if anybdoy regularly used to write to celebrities asking them to be gunged, or get spanked in pvc, or dress up as a bear, or whatever their kink happens to be, but it's very easy to go on twitter and annoy/disturb the hell out of somebody.

if anything, I tend to find WAM-related internet forums considerably frendlier places that other forums. There are.. shall we say, equivalent points of contention to tin/no-tin, goggles-are-evil and all the other perennial topics, and the remarks here always tend to be much more restrained than I see elsewhere in relation to non-fetish things.

If UMD is considered the 'bad' place, then I want to know where the 'good' place is, because it must be filled to the brim with sweetness and light and happiness and joy.

...mostly (with a few exceptions) it's younger people coming to the UMD (or the wam community) for the first time (or early in their 'discovery' stage)....I think there's a pretty strong correlation between inappropriate comments and youth (or those recently 'out')....then there are always those dicks, of any age, who delight in being dicks (it's negative social attention, but it's the only attention they get)...probably comes from their lack of normal social experiences in general.

Not as much because I no longer use their real names or Friend them in any online places where random UMDers or shady producers might find them and contact them (like the model sites for example).

I was really naive for the first few years thinking that people wouldn't track down a model through her first name and start harassing her online. Silly me.

Oh you mean Kevin? That's just Kev being Kev

Lurk mode : on [off]

Speaking out for all the lurkers who are normal.

The person on twitter who constantly asks all the celebs to get messy in various ways is creepy. Really creepy.

Lurk mode : [on] off

Honestly, I just think with as many people involved there are bound to be a few socially-awkward people (I refuse to reuse "inept" after seeing it used repeatedly) here and there. I mean, I don't know that many... I thankfully haven't encountered that many, maybe you're going into it thinking that way so you notice it more...? Who knows? I'm not denying that they exist, I just don't think it's an issue singled out in the WAM-world, or even just the fetish world. As long as there are computers, forums, and people with the ability to type, there will always be a good handful of socially-challenged people out of maybe 100.

I think someone's had a specific problem here and we're not privy to the information...

P.s. Though not socially unacceptable, this should likely be in off-topic forums. Just a friendly reminder before a mod recognizes it.

I think that generally online people tend to have a less inhibited attitude. I'm sure many of the trolls on Twitter for example wouldn't dream of saying the things they do to a persons face. Internet anonymity sometimes gives people unwanted bravery. I don't think UMD is any worse than any other site really. I use networking sites for photography and many of them are frequented by idiots. In general I am of the attititude that by and large people were generally a very bad idea and who ever invented them should be shot!

A recent example of the "bravery" you cited involved Robin Williams daughter,Zelda. Almost immediately after her fathers death, people began to send her twitter messages stating what a coward he was. Could you even imagine going up to a grieving person and saying such a thing? No, but apparently it was ok on the internet.

I think that is an excellent case in point of what I said about people generally being a very bad idea!

We actually had a huge discussion about this on another wam forum. We found out someone who is well known on the forum and also well known here on UMD, had been sending harassing messages on twitter to celebs and news reporters. Before he was exposed his twitter had reached over 127,000 tweets (no, I'm not exaggerating) sent out. At minimum 30-40 sent out a day, making creepy requests.

After being exposed, he quickly shut down the account. He posted a big apology thread, claimed he was going to seek out professional help. Two months later he opened a new twitter account and started again. Again he was exposed and quickly shutdown again.

Sadly, he'll be up again, unless his family intervenes.
Personally, I think that there are a lot of people who shouldn't be allowed internet access.

Confirmation bias.

That's my simple answer to the original poster's comment.




I concur with maxoverdrive.
Also, one of the few reasons I don't have a twitter or Facebook account.

Pretty much what's been posted is what I've thought. I just find it a hard thing to get my head around. I don't understand how real life morals then say 'internet morals' can get mixed

most internet forums seem to have a high percentage of people who are just clueless as to what is or is not socially acceptable. Fetlife is by far one of the worst sites (at least for me) when it comes to people saying completely inappropriate things. I think the fetish scene in general may have a higher percentage of people who either fall on the autism spectrum or just never learned normal social behavior.

And BTW I am pretty damn autistic so I don't mean any of what I said in a negative way. I've spent most of my life analyzing other people's behavior as a way to deal with being around "normal" people but tend to be much more comfortable around weird people like myself which is partly why I enjoy the fetish world so much. Of course there are also plenty of the bad type of socially inept people in the scene. I've had an amateur bondage photographer stalk me and lie to people I worked with to try to get my phone number that I had to switch. That was the 2nd time I was stalked by someone in the fetish world, now I only shoot with people I already know are sane or a personal friend can confirm is sane.

Would also like to point out I've never personally had a problem with this kind of thing. This isn't a back handed attack on someone. Just something I've noticed over the years.

There's also the element of desperation, after all, eventually you are going to realise that you are not going to meet a WAM friendly partner and are left to indulge your fantasy alone. The internet is a chance to scream out and allow someone to hear you no matter what. There are no repercussions and to be fair the internet world is in some way a fantasy world on a screen no different to a movie on the screen

Alternatively people are becoming more moronic!

That's just my take on it

This.

Being open and legit goes a long way. I've seen both ends of it here. Being a 30-something str8 guy who just happens to be into wamming and crossdressing, both on a closeted scale, you get your share of pervs coming after you wanting to meet up with no previous chat, or just opening up a dialog with something totally dirty. It gets tiresome, it gets boring, and it makes you realize why us people who are indeed decent 'upstanding' people have to remain in the shadows by choice. It's the 'bad ones' that give all of us a bad name and a black eye.

This whole Ice Bucket Challenge thing has been a perfect example. I love a woman in a dress soaked to the skin as much as any of us here....but only an idiot would go and post a comment like "why didn't you wear shoes while you were doing it?" to some local television reporter that did it on the air for a story she was doing for the morning news program.

I've lurked here for over 15 years, chatted on occasion, and have met a few people on here who I consider good solid chat buddies. AND I've even met up with a frequent poster on here for a non-wam lunch and consider her an actual friend.

Like I said....being 'on the level' goes far, but there will always be others who fuck it up for the better ones. So goes life in a fetish community.

Robby, I am sure there are several people here who would like to read your views. Please say what's on your mind.

In response to AW2 --- Well said.

UMD isn't perfect but until I find that site with gorgeous well dressed ladies covering themselves with deserts for mine and there own pleasure I'll stay here.

As I've looked at the comments in here, a few things come to mind. First, yeah, UMD does have more of a problem with socially challenged people than other WAM communities. One anecdote that comes to mind for me is the time I was contacted by someone asking where in South Yorkshire I'm based and if I'd be up for getting messy with him. No introductions, no discussion, just if I'd be up for messing. Even if I was into male WAM, I'd still be heavily put off by a total stranger asking me to indulge in his fetish. So I ignored him, only for him to do almost the same thing again, only the second time he asked where in Sheffield I live. It was at that point I politely but firmly let him down, then altered my profile to try and stop it happening again. I wouldn't mind, but my interests list should make it clear I'm not into male WAM...

Overall I'd say the public side of foot fetishism is worse than us, though. They do much the same as the worst of WAM but have far more opportunity to. An actress does a scene while their character's barefoot? Singer kicks her shoes off during a gig? Hell, a celeb simply wears sandals or open toed shoes in public? The comments aren't pretty, and I say that as someone who likes women's feet. The woman in question most likely hadn't even considered them, which I think is for the best.

As some one who runs an adult website, clip store, and who post on fetish forums I know this story all to well.

In fact on my website I get 60-100 emails a day, about 50% of them are guys sending me things like:

"Hey you wanna meet up and play? I will let you film it so you can sell it on your site and you will make enough money on it to fly out here."

or

"What is your phone number?"

and then some emails appear as normal request:

"Can you do insert some story idea?"

I respond telling them I will TRY and do it in one of my future shoots. Now keep in mind this is not a custom they pay for, I am just trying to fulfill request.

Within hours of the reply I get message like

"Did you film it yet?"
When I don't respond right away the messages get more and more aggressive

"Did you film it yet, I don't have all week?"
"Why are you ignoring me?"
"Why the fuck haven't you responded?"

Now what makes you think I am going to try and shoot your idea if you are behaving like that?

That kind of stuff is just amazing to me! (I believe you, Erica, because we hear so much of this, but) I find this almost unbelievable! First of all, like you said, demanding something will get you knocked out very quickly. But also, even the "pro producers" have lives! You all don't film constantly, or on a whim (normally)!

And the requests for personal info are so presumptuous! Wow!

All the producers, but particularly the ladies take some much; thanks for staying here for the benefit of the silent (respectful) majority!

Norman

Yeap, I get those every so often sent to my website email....