I wish I could find a partner who was into wam I've always struggled with it the few women that have known about my kink kink shamed me is there any people out there who will let me be me

Really sorry to hear about the kink-shaming, that's totally out of order, especially given how harmless WAM is.

The trick is to find someone who totally accepts you as yourself, doesn't want to change anything, but loves you for you. It can be done but takes a lot of searching.

Good luck!

Big agree with DM1. It's not about finding someone who also has a wam kink but someone who you're completely comfortable with and who accepts you for you. If your partner winds up being kinky, that's just a bonus!

DM1 is right. If you want to find accepting folks around WAM, then I find BDSM munches are good. It's most often a case of "Your kink is not my kink", but there is rarely judgment and sometimes you find folks who want to try, or enjoy it as part of other kinks etc.

Good luck.

Massive agree with DM1.

My girlfriend, as far as we know, is like plain ice cream: she's vanilla af.

I kind of slowly revealed the fetish to her (wet dress), and while she doesn't know if she herself will like it she's more than willing to give it a try because she knows I like it and finds it incredibly arousing at how turned on I get (like the first time she ever wore a dress in the shower I got harder then you could probably snap your finger).

Ta for all the agreement folks, took me a long time to come to this conclusion and I am lucky in that Lady Jasmine accepts me totally, as I accept her totally. One thing we agree on is that sexuality and pleasure is entirely unrelated to relationship. She has no problem with me watching WAM videos, looking at other people for ideas - if either of us spots a lass in a hot outfit when we're out and about we'll point them out to each other and we'll sometimes discuss what makes someone's outfit work. She's bi so as attractied to woman as I am. At the same time I would never attempt to restrict her in any way. We know that in relationship terms, we only want each other, so there is no reason for jealousy or anything negative.

I hear about people who think relationships should all be about power and control, putting trackers on each other's phones and demanding to know exatcly who has ever been called or visited or texted, trying to lock each other together with rules and cages and constant spying. That's not a relationship, that's a prison. And no-one wants to live in a prison. If you love someone, set them free, is totally our motto. Be with each other because you both want to be, not because of fear of consequences or whatever. Find someone who really accepts you as you, doesn't kink-shame or want to change or control, and be willing to walk away from anyonme who does. When you find the one, it's totally worth it.

I know that feeling, not many people understand how we feel, our wants and desires, even being truthful and honest. I wish I could find the same, a pie partner for life

My girlfriend is the exact same. If she sees someone in a maxi dress while we're out in public she'll straight up ask me if I saw it too. To the point where we went and saw Sting this past summer we made a bet on the amount of people we would see in them (affluent area) with the only stipulations being that it couldn't be a two piece and hem had to be at least ankle length. We bet at least 5. We saw like 25. But I digress.

We have each other on Find my Friends and the only time I check it is when she's headed home so I know when to come help unload her car.

This is oddly specific but awesome that you both share the same specifications for a maxi dress. I was approached by somebody on here wanting to see my wife get messy in a maxi dress and we both thought nothing of it because in our experience it is simply a long dress but tight on top. But thankfully the cookie trackers saw this conversation and flooded my inbox with advertisements of Maxi dresses which included 2 piece ones. You sound like more of an expert in that arena than I but the best part is when your partner shares those with you as well. Find somebody who will be your best friend first and foremost - then everything else will fit together and you'll be happier for it - both of you will.

I have written about this a few times on this forum. I know some people are very timid to bring it up but I now state it right up front when I start talking about a sexual relationship with my partner. I explain that I am turned on my light harmless humiliation on both sides and that I love how pie looks on a woman and also how turned on I am by stuff like wet jeans on a woman.

This year, I was told no by someone and I made a decision that this person was not for me. Whether I like it or not, WAM is too important to me to ignore that it is a big part of my life. If my partner doesnt want to do it with me, then I would get my kicks off this site and other places and although not bad, I want to share those moments with a partner. Trust me, my desires to do WAM related fun is not often. It's almost enough for me for them to agree.

The beautiful woman I am seeing is open to anything. She just wants to make me happy and I want to do the same with her in return. The first night we decided to go out, we talked about WAM and there was no hesitation in her saying yes to doing it. I texted her today and asked if she can take a clothed shower with her soon and she was all about it.

I guess it depends on how important WAM is to you. If you are on here everyday of the week checking out stuff and getting your rocks off but not telling your significant other about your fetish, I think you are doing yourself and them a disservice.

Sorry, this was long and probably boring.

I'm responding to two things here-

- WildThang- that was probably me lol(unless they directly messaged you in which case, not me). She semi looks like the type of person that would wear them a lot in the summer (and I mean that 100% as a compliment because my whole thing for them started from attractive moms wearing them to church when I was growing up).

- Gregbert- this site is a nice little happy medium for me. I now feel comfortable talking to my girlfriend about it, but I also go on here for stuff that I wouldn't bring up to her (eg coming up with a whole ass movie premise just to make Leslie Mann jump in a fountain with a maxi dress on).

But, I also see where you're coming from, because being able to talk openly with my girlfriend about how I want to cover her maxi dress with whipped cream so it looks like a wedding dress and then watching it all stream down her in the shower is incredibly liberating and makes me fantasize about all the stuff we're gonna do this summer.

I'm the example of a guy being married for about 20 years with a woman who doesn't like WAM, doesn't like me to like it and doesn't really respect me for liking it. She says she does but she doesn't.
It's hard not to be able to share my emotions and I have the feeling that I have to be secret about experiencing WAM. I won't ever quickly blank the screen when she 'catches' me for watching it, so she can see I do that and she makes very clear that it's stupid and repulsive.
I'm always considering to break up, but for the rest she's so nice!!

Lots of mixed feelings when reading this thread.. Obviously some very happy folks in here. I am one of those lucky guy that has found the perfect significant other. Been together for now 20+ years. She's never been a true wammer but she's been wamming with me since the beginning and we've been doing it give or take once a month since then.. I really believe she is perfect and I agree with DM1 that if you love someone you need to give them freedom. We are exclusive to one another, but she will tell me when she sees something she likes or record a show for me if there was people getting muddy in it .

The only thing you should want to control is yourself and are you happy in the situation you are in? When it is not the case you have the power to make a move for yourself and search happiness. I have a lot of empathy for the folks here that havent found it. If you are here.. I don't think WAM is just a small part of who you are, and if you are in a relationship where this is causing an issue.. My advice would be to have a serious discussion about it with your partner so they realize just how important it is to your happiness.. If after having a real conversation about it, they still see it has something they don't want to be a part of, I believe it is time to move on.. Your life is so short and precious, you can choose who you spend your time with it, make sure it's someone that love the whole you.

Sending lots of love! Congo.. the answer is Yes, don't give up searching!!

Cheers

I've always introduced wam in all of my relationships starting with water but I know how frustrating it can be to withhold any part of oneself at the moment of getting to know someone.

Don't give up

One night we were talking about the most embarrassing things we had done it to, and mine was a lady in a t shirt dress playing the water balloon game on Ellen and getting absolutely soaked.

I told her another night that I had gotten off to Katy Perry getting slimed (I haven't but that's beside the point, that's one of the most popular slime videos there is) and for a while she thought it was also the wet dress thing until one night she was just like do you like that video because she's getting messy and I was just like sooo yeah it's this whole thing.

We have a questions for couples act that we answer every day and the question a few days ago was getting out of your comfort zone and her answer was trying wet and messy because it makes me happy and she thinks she could potentially be into it, and if after 16 months of being together I had any doubts whatsoever about her, that completely erased all of them.

I'm sorry that's been your experience, you'll find many of us have had similar ones. If you haven't already, I highly recommend checking out the Messy Minds Group forum found here:
https://umd.net/groups/group/messy-minds

You'll see lots of topic about things not just related to WAM in relationships, but also mental health in general.

Like others have echoed, focus on finding someone who is into YOU. And if they are, they should be willing to try things your into. Remember it's a two way street through, and be open to things they are into.

You are not alone!

Such chemistry is actually quite rare. Combine that with a very specific sexual obsession and you get something, potentially, very difficult to obtain and probably even more difficult to sustain.

I've had my own, great successes and abysmal failures in this regard.

There are no happy endings or done deals. Relationships with these needs are going to be tough. We don't see what's going on inside other people's relationships and the compromises and deals that go on. The coercion and abuse as well as the manifestations of love.

It's easy to say, but the best outlook is to avoid creating in ourselves a sense of failure for not achieving something that doesn't yet exist. Or even having expectations of ourselves that we should.

It's always a whole lot harder than it looks.

I saw this quote the other day and thought of this thread.

"Loving anybody and being loved by anybody is a tremendous danger, a tremendous responsibility"

James Baldwin

I'm another husband whose wife wasn't into WAM but was initially happy to try it to please me. And with time I think she's come to genuinely enjoy our sessions for herself, perhaps because we've probably both had our best sexual experiences together when covered in mess! It's been said before, but for someone who already loves you and wants to please and excite you, being covered in whipped cream and sprinkles before being screwed is a pretty easy and pleasant wish to fulfil compared to a lot of other, perhaps better known, fetishes! [Though I'm not suggesting "You should do this, it could be so much worse" is actually the best way to introduce the topic to a partner ]

I haven't been with any women who are into WAM, BUT every girl and woman I dated had no issue having a pie fight with me when I told them I find it arousing. Same thing with my foot fetish, just about every girl I was with (more than a casual one night thing) has no issue indulging me as long as it was on their terms and time.

The trick is that you don't lead with any of that. You have regular sex and what not, and when they get comfortable with you and ask what you like , you tell them without making it a huge deal. Make it flirty and be confident.

If you do it like that Most women won't have an issue.


Now if you need a woman to be covered head to toe in gunge to get off every time you might have a more difficult time.