So after I thought through my personal view on the fetish, I came to the conclusion that I appreciate WAM because it offers a basically unlimited number of candid submission-style scenes. As a result, for me, it's more about the emotional dynamics of the scene than it is about the mess itself. I was just kind of curious as to what you all had to say on this topic.
Do you find mess to be a necessary condition for sexual excitement or can you appreciate scenes without it as well?
I'd say anybody answering yes is rather unhealthy? If the question is "Can you get sexually excited over non-messy scenes" then the implication of a "yes" would be that you couldn't get sexually excited unless WAM was involved.
I like WAM but I can enjoy sex, women and porn equally as well without it. If I started to find myself unable to be turned on without any kind of mess involved then frankly I'd go and see my doctor.
edit: sorry if that comes off a bit blunt, just my opinion.
fatmup said: I like WAM but I can enjoy sex, women and porn equally as well without it. If I started to find myself unable to be turned on without any kind of mess involved then frankly I'd go and see my doctor.
Blunt or not, I agree. I've always thought that the word "fetish" is over-used and diluted in everyday speech, as in its literal meaning it's far stronger than a lot of people realise, ie a fetish is where you can ONLY get aroused by mess/leather/rubber etc and if that element isn't present then you can't climax. If that was the case with me then, yes, I'd be worried too as it stops a fetish being fun and instead makes it sound like a real problem you'd need help with. Perhaps people should take it down a notch and simply say "turn-on" instead of "fetish".
So in answer to the question, "Is Mess Necessary?", I'd say that it's great but not literally necessary, and then feel quite relieved about it.
ABGamma said: Oh don't worry about it being blunt. That's exactly the question I'm asking:
"Who is this a true paraphilia for, and who uses it as a complement to another core interest?"
The problem for me is that by excluding wetlook you've changed how I would answer, but I regard my wam interest as a true fetish - if no-one is getting wet or messy, I have no sexual response at all, so for me wam is a true fetish, but not necessarily messy as mudplay and water also work for me.
fatmup said: I'd say anybody answering yes is rather unhealthy? If the question is "Can you get sexually excited over non-messy scenes" then the implication of a "yes" would be that you couldn't get sexually excited unless WAM was involved.
I like WAM but I can enjoy sex, women and porn equally as well without it. If I started to find myself unable to be turned on without any kind of mess involved then frankly I'd go and see my doctor.
edit: sorry if that comes off a bit blunt, just my opinion.
Surely it would be the implication (in your eyes) of a no.
I answered yes, I can get sexually excited without wam being involved.
I think some people may vote the wrong way in thepolls, as the thread asks 'do you need wam to get turned on? ' answer fro me is no, but then the poll says : can you get turned on without wam..answer = yes.
I nearly voted the wrong way due to the way the question is phrased originally.
I can appreciate any scene if I like the girl (I am hetereosexual male myself). In videos and pics I mostly care about looks and facial expressions. In real life I also care greatly about character and personality.
Jason, I believe that the whole point of having a sexual relationship is to make each other happy in general as well as sexually when it comes to the sexual aspect. Not being able to get what you want when it comes to "your thing" or your fetish is something that should be taken under extreme consideration. Personally I would avoid such a relationship, assuming that we are talking about commitment. Having to supress your desires to keep your partner happy is not a good deal for me. I would instead prefer to see that person as friend and not a sexual partner.
I think it's a spectrum, but I'm closer to the "fetish" end than the "kink" end.
But I'm also less of a sexual person overall than the average, which makes it manageable. If I were more sexually active then it would probably be unhealthy as a fetish.