I feel as if I have a humiliation fetish that goes along with WAM. Any thoughts on how your WAM fetish evolved and do you like humiliation along with it? What's the thoughts on how a humiliation fetish begins?

I have thought about this a lot over my many years.

I am sure some on here enjoy it because they just enjoy the feel of it, but I think in most cases it's the humiliation aspect that dominates. Everyone is of course different but in my case it was watching messy scenes on TV as a child, sort of 'look at that poor guy he's absolutely covered, everyone is laughing at him, why would he agree to that through choice?', but we all know of course that that guy loved every minute of it and enjoyed being humiliated and of course making people laugh.

In my case watching a handsome (and preferably smart) guy being pied in the face with a big messy gooey pie is what does it for me. And for those that wonder, yes of course it turns me on...

I also think it's connected - in my case - to a general dislike of getting dirty. I have always hated sport and the idea of running around and falling over in freezing cold mud on a sports field, I have never got. I really enjoy getting messy (in the warm!), but do worry about the mess involved and watch in aghast at some guys on here that seem to enjoy that aspect of it. Ie getting messy on an unprotected bed, playing in house emulsion paint, or covering the bathroom in shaving foam (I have seen pics of all of those on here). Having said that with some careful thought it is relatively easy to do all this and clean up in minutes, emulsion paint excluded of course.

But yes, seeing a handsome guy humiliated with a messy pie definitely does it for me.

Patrick

for me it kind of depends on who i'm playing with, and what i'm playing with. Some of it probably is subconsciously, although not in my forethought. Mostly for me it's about playing with textures, senses etc.

When starting out, it was pleasing my then partner - he wanted me to try something not out of humiliation, but broadening horizons and experiences, and transferring control and my enjoyment of the play into their control. However, not always - in some play sessions, it was heavily about consentual humiliation and punishment. Did they sometimes mix, most likely, but there was differences.

Well, my WAM fetish started when I was very young (pre puberty), walking through muddy areas after a rain. I recall getting this wonderful feeling, probably in my groin; I had no idea what it was or why it was happening - all I knew was that I really liked it!!! I didn't watch any of the messy games shows that most here identify as the source of their WAM fetish, so I have no idea where mine came from (can you just be born with it?)

But more to your point, the humiliation and embarrassment I experience when getting messy, especially on my face, is now the main reason I get turned on by WAM. I have no idea WHY getting humiliated and embarrassed turns me on, or HOW this link with WAM originated with me. My WAM-humiliation link is so complete that I only get turned on if my face is covered in goopy mess - getting messy anywhere else on my body has little to no effect because I don't find that humiliating. I have no desire to humiliate others, so the only thing I get out of seeing others getting trashed with lots of goopy stuff is imagining myself in their place.

I guess it's fortunate that there are two types of people in this world: those who get off on humiliating others, and those who get off on BEING humiliated. Too bad they can't get matched up more often

BTW, I not sure I'd call this thread "Off Topic". I think you'll find many here who link WAM with humiliation - although some prefer to use the term "embarrassment". You'd probably get more reply's if it were in the Messy Forum.

I seem to be in a definite minority here. I don't get off on the humiliation aspect at all. I don't really like to see a woman's face messy either. (but it doesn't detract from the experience if it is messy)

For me, it's about seeing a nice looking, and nicely shaped woman getting her body messy. Sure, it can include the head and face, but that part isn't necessary. I love to see thin, clingy clothing going transparent, the way a wet t shirt does, but with messy substances such as slime. I also prefer to see horizontal wam, meaning the woman is laying in a muddy area or a little pool full of mess. Sitting in a chair doesn't cut it as much, as most of the mess ends up on the floor, not on the girl.

I do enjoy that brief reaction though, especially if something cold is poured on her, or even if it's warm and feels wonderful, the reactions are always part of it all, but they don't need to be reactions of humiliation, more of surprise or enjoyment.

Once I saw a nicely dressed woman destroyed when a truck zoomed through a very muddy puddle just next to the bus stop where she stood. She had the typical, "OMG, I can't believe this just happened, just LOOK at me" reaction, which was great, but I had mixed feelings of being turned on by her total muddy mess, and feeling bad for her, as she was obviously going to work or somewhere else where she had to look good. The feeling bad for her overcame the turn on aspect, but it was still fun to see. The humiliation was only fun for moments, before being replaced with the 'too bad' sympathy feelings. It seems I neither want to see humiliation or be humiliated myself.

My biggest frustration is when a producer has a hot girl in a bikini, then shoots close-up video or stills of her head and face getting messed. She might just as well be in a raincoat. I want to see the mess running down her body. Anyhow, that's my not-average spin on wam.

For me, a humilliated reaction must be pretended, not real. I like scripts, because there it's obvious that it's all pretended. In the real life, many women would never like to be pied in good clothes. I admire a woman who accepts to do that. It's a courage test.

I think I'm into consensual domination and submission (rather than actual humiliation), and that particular power dynamic contributes to the enjoyment of wam (and also of spanking/paddling and of shaving) for me.

The fact that one guy agrees to let another guy dominate him (by stripping him, gunging him, spanking him, shaving him, et al) is incredibly arousing for me, as both the "dom" and the "sub."

What's happening to the "sub," in any other context, almost certainly would be considered humiliation (and honestly would be disturbing to me), but since it's something he consented to experience in a specific context (and that he presumably, on at least some level, enjoys), it isn't true humiliation (and more often than not is very arousing to me).

Layering on the concept of a bet or game (with "punishment" for the loser) enhances the enjoyment even more for me. Even though the loser presumably wanted to win, he still consented to a specific penalty/punishment when he accepted the bet or agreed to the rules of the game.

It's probably helpful to note whether the comments here are coming from a WAMer, a WAMee, or just a WAM observer, since the perspective and implications can be quite different.

Being a WAMee, the humiliation aspect of WAM for me is the best part for sure. But I have no desire whatsoever to humiliate somebody with WAM (other than me, of course), unless I knew they were also turned on by being humiliated. Even when I engage in self WAM, the humiliation aspect is still front and center, even if nobody is present to observe first hand - that's where the camera and online posting of pictures comes in for me.

Also, I'm one who prefers the term "embarrassment" to "humiliation".

Great answers for me it's totally about humiliation. I love it if the victim is really humiliated but would get a free pass from the person. You know hey I'm going to humiliate you and as long as they're actually good then I love to see the fear and genuine embarrassment. I don't feel bad at all . I'm also hard into BDSM so that probably makes my take a little different.

I'm also turned on and shed an intimacy block with a female in particular if she is super embarrassed and genuinely surrenders to me and the experience. For me if it's with a girl it's a closeness after the fact probably a control thing on my end. Almost like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant. I'm an 8 on the enneagram and think that might have something to do with it to. Love the sharing keep it up.

Like tied and messy says it depends on what if you are a wammer or a wammee. However humiliation is certainly a part of it. Watching wam on tv when I was a kid every gunging I saw was for a punishment for losing a game or vote which is ultimately humiliation. When I was young I never wanted to get messy but loved seeing people get messy. As I got older I wanted to get messy myself. Getting gunged in front of a wammer I can't see as humiliation because I enjoy getting messy however I'd hate it if it happened in front of families or friends.

It can be surely viewed differently by a member of public who has no interest in wam. Take a charity event humiliation of getting voted to be gunged their main feeling maybe just I don't wanna get gunged and messy.

For me, well I can't remember which fetish came first. My Domme and I play and the most of it is related to humiliation, especially the pies in the face for me while She stays clean. We play games which I always lose and has humiliating consequences. There def is a humiliating aspect to getting a pie in the face though I realize that's not the same for everyone.

Seeing another male get pied doesn't really do anything for me, but if he pied by a Female...well that's a different story

Would love to chat about it somemore

PBL

They've always gone hand in hand for me, I blame my gameshow upbringing lmao. As long as the person is okay/laughing about it/not genuinely humiliated/emotionally scarred.

Crazy to think how much your frame comes into play with something like this absolutely fascinating.

I love comedy. I couldn't really care less about wam without it, but a good pie in the face or sliming when it's funny is definitely my jam. Comedy wam almost always requires humiliation, but not all humiliation is comedy. I once caught a video here where the model spewed foul language and insults to the camera while being pied in obviously humiliated discomfort. My reaction was sympathetic discomfort and not an ounce of enjoyment.
I have also seen several comedy scenes where a pretty girl gets pied or slimed unexpectedly and reacts with shock and obvious embarrassment, and it's been everything that I'm looking for. Both scenes clearly involved wam and humiliation, but had a vastly different feel because the intended humor of the script and performances.
I think a part of creating good wam comedy is in the target of the humiliation. Humiliating the model comes off as a bit sadist and humorless. Humiliating the character that an actress is playing tends to be hilarious.

I think I'm sadistic by that definition, because I love that. I love that the model is completely powerless and embarrassed.

Correct. Many guys prefers a man being pied than a woman, but that's not my case.
I prefer woman being pied. During many years, on 80's, I watched many TV shows where only men were pied,;never - NEVER - a woman. And I always asked to myself why do they do it only to men,, not to women. For me, this wasn't fair. Until I watched a woman being pied in a opera soap. Then, this turned me on, as if justice was finally done, as if a diva was taken out of her pedestal and became near and similar to us, mere mortals. This was what turned me on, since then. That's why I learned to like women getting pied.
During years, I had to catch every scene on TV, as if I was looking for gold... until finally I discovered UMD in 2000. And a new world opened for me.

It's the exact same thing for me but further. I like to take her down a peg and then push her into nothing and make her beg and plead and then destroy her. Totally identify with that feeling though

Thanks for sharing I'm still young and I think the more I look into it I really am way more hardcore than most people on here and am probably more gauged towards BDSM than a little kink the way other people are putting it.

Any book or workshop recommendations? I would love to learn more about humiliation because it's fascinating

will do appreciate the intel

I found a pdf of "enough to make you blush" and am going to plow through it out asap

I'm guessing it'd be a good idea if I read that also

Maybe yes but not really more hardcore bdsm stuff than lighter wam stuff.

I go a lot deeper than WAM stuff I like to make girls cry and seriously degrade them I find the vulnerability addictive. I like the surrender lets me open up. Even if you did dress up as a sissy and ask strangers to pie you and we're humiliated and insulted. It wouldn't be as emotionally intense as the kind of things the book gets into.

Healthier than me would but I just don't have any sympathy at all. I love to see them squirming and totally at others mercy. But I'm curious to how others would feel.

Anyone who wants to have a book read along with me. Here's the link to what I'm up to feel free to message and discuss always open to ideas. http://wonder-woman.info/ds/Enough%20To%20Make%20You%20Blush%20-%20Princess%20Kali.pdf

My first real WAM experience involved humiliation, at a 4H camp as a teen. Myself and the other new counselors got "initiated" by having buckets of mud slung on us during a "hayride from hell/counselor swim." Once I realized what we'd been set up for, I was freaked out by the idea, but being seated next to a guy I had a crush on, seeing him get it and knowing I was next was...something else entirely. At that point, we were all laughing at each other while knowing we looked ridiculous ourselves. Good times.

My biggest WAM interest is in writing, and the major difference when it comes to humiliation is reality versus fantasy/fiction. In real life I'd feel genuinely sorry for anyone who got humiliated against their will, but kinda like in-yer-face said, if they willingly appeared on a messy game show, then all bets are off and it's all in good fun, even if they weren't thrilled to lose. That's a chance they were willing to take.

Most of my WAM fiction involves some element of humiliation, but with a happy ending:

- a guy gets tricked into appearing on a messy game show but ends up with a girlfriend as a result
- same guy awkwardly admits to his now-wife that WAM turns him on
- couple's friends discover their WAM interest

The exception is a story where the guy was cruelly humiliated to the point of tears. I'd never want to witness anything remotely like that in real life, but I wanted to write a different style of WAM for that chapter, and there are a few other darker WAM stories like that on UMD.

Warnings for strong humiliation are always a good idea.

I hear you on giving people a heads up there going headfirst into my shadow. For me I like the control and vulnerability it affords. It's the connection thrill and the power it's just ugh. It's funny because after I humiliate a girl I like to have her cook and then snuggle and just be stupid intimate. Until I'm in enough control to humiliate her I have a tough time letting my gushiness really come out and run the show. Very intense emotional experience all around. LMAO I know how fucked that is and yes I'm in therapy for it but hey it's just how I turned out. She earns every inch of emotional ground she gets this way atleast? Maybe?