There have been many threads over the years about introducing partners to WAM and receiving negative responses.
A few recently discussing dealing with the feelings of opening up to girlfriends and wives about a love for getting messy and them being completely unwilling or even worse having no understanding or generally weirded out by the whole idea.

Out of interest I have a question for people here.

Have you, yourself, ever been unwilling/off put/weirded out by another persons desires?
I'm thinking here of the reversal of what is often discussed where a partner owns up to a fetish but maybe you can't comprehend or deal with it.
It seems most peoples difficulties are with a partner who is ultra-vanilla but on the flip side I'm sure there must be things that all of us would struggle with.

Guess I'm just trying to understand the other side of things.
Never know - perhaps it might help!

Great post!

I was thinking about this earlier after reading and responding to a post about partners.

I have always tried to be open with my partners and try things they like. I haven't always enjoyed them, but still tried it more than once.

And that lead me to think about what would I flat out refuse to take part in... Scat. Without a shadow of a doubt, I would not try it even once. I think it's totally disgusting. But that just further makes me think that anyone not willing to get a bit messy with a bit cake and custard is far too highly strung. But that is just my opinion.

I don't think there is much else I wouldn't try... Bondage, role play, dressing up, sub/dom, smoking, feet.... I am pretty open to suggestion.

But it would be interesting to see if anyone else here has things they just would not do!

Jessie xx
www.messy-jessie.com

What the hell, I'll share.

When I was a teenager, like most teenagers, if I wanted to/was lucky enough to have sex with the girl I was dating at the time, I had to use whatever "private" space was available, which often included my car. This resulted in a handful of tense moments including a very awkward conversation with an uncle who was a police officer in a neighboring town. (When you're seventeen, horny and about to get laid, you're lucky to be able to remember your name and address, so questions like "I wonder whose jurisdiction this secluded parking lot falls under" receive no consideration whatsoever.) Once I had a place of my own I happily consigned car sex to the land of boner-killing anxieties past.

Years later I found myself dating a very attractive woman whose one and only kink was having sex in cars. She loved it. And if she got it, she was up for pretty much anything else. And I really, really wanted to be the guy who provided it to her, on as regular a basis as possible, but the phrase "boner-killing anxiety" came back to haunt me. Whenever we tried, I was too freaked out to perform, let alone enjoy myself. The spirit was very, very willing but the flesh was... well, you get the idea. I guess this isn't really a "won't", so much as a "can't".

Eventually, though, we figured out that having sex in the car while it was still in the garage (and no, it wasn't running) was a workable compromise for both of us. We didn't live happily ever after, but we dated for another two years before an amicable split. She is now married to a guy who owns six car dealerships.

OK, that last line isn't true.

Oh, and Jessie, I would also draw the line at scat, even if it was you asking me to do it.

I used to see someone a few years ago who I could describe as very openminded. There wasn't any sexual or fetish act she wouldn't try. She got into WAM and liked it. Happy days, you might think. But the downside of her being so sexually open, was she was into other stuff as well that I didn't like.

Scat and pain, are the fetish things that weird me out. I knew from the fact she'd keep biting my nipples really hard, even when I'd told her she hadn't to bite them at all, that she didn't respect my boundaries. And if someone doesn't respect your boundaries, then what you don't want to hear in the middle of a 69 is "when are we going to do hardsports" (scat)

I'm sure it would only have been a matter of time before she pooped all over me and claimed it was an accident or she must have eaten something bad, so unfortunately, it had to end.

Wow. Yeah... if you're going to get shat on in a relationship, it's best to keep it metaphorical.

Honestly I see a lot of stuff on fetlife that I am not ok with. I am pretty open minded but some of the extreme BDSM I just don't think is safe or sane. Like people who cut themselves or their partners. Causing physical damage to a person is just not sexy or healthy.

I'm also hesitant to engage in black mail fantasies with subs. That stuff gets pretty questionable, especially when guys want to send me their wife's personal info. Bringing someone into your fetish without their knowledge like that is just not consensual.

Other than that I'll try pretty much anything at least twice because you never know, it might actually be fun! And I say twice because sometimes you need to get comfortable with an activity before you start to enjoy it.

I never knew that was called "hardsports". Luckily for me I never dated anyone into that. If someone did admit to me that they had a scat fetish I don't think the relationship would have lasted very long. IMO that falls into the "unhealthy" category.

Just my view on this but even if my S/O was into something like Scat, although I may not want to participate in it, I don't think it'd necessarily have to kill the relationship. I see fetishes as things that none of us have any control over, so where we have one which is seen as "wierd" but relatively harmless, some get the unlucky pick of having a fetish like Scat. I feel sorry for people who have fetishes which are as taboo as that.

Couldn't have put it better myself, sums up my thoughts exactly.

There's been some really interesting posts on here very recently and I like many have been giving it quite a lot of thought....

As a partner of a wam fan I can whole heartedly say it really is a tame, fun and pretty easy to be part of fetish, so never feel like your asking for something way out there....

I do wonder why some of you guys take so long to tell your partners about what you like? Surely it should come up as soon as you start getting down?
After all it's your thang...?
I personally would feel a bit crap and would question what else I hadn't been told if you put off telling me something so important to you...

So be honest, from day 1!! Not just about wam, about everything!! Build a strong foundation!
If you have put it off, look them in the eye, tell them and tell them why you've put it off... Make it about them not the mess! Leon gets a lot of girls wet and messy on a very regular basis and that could be hard to deal with if I didn't know that it was me he wanted messy more than anyone else!
Your partner needs to know you want to do it with them more than anything else!!

Life is way to short to not be happy.

Wam is nothing to be embarrassed about. Wanting a satisfying sexual relationship is allowed!

Now go be messy! Peace xxx

East sure which thread to message in, so hope it's ok here xx

I'm cool with a fair bit of play depending on how drunk/horny me and my partner are, but one of the most fucked-up kinks I've ever seen is the breeder/impregnation fetish, particularly pertaining to family members of the kinksters in question. I first heard of this while reading a court case a few years back where the middle-age couple (who met online in a breeder's chat room) conspired for the man to seduce/drug & impregnate the woman's daughter - several times, if possible.

What.The.Fuck.

Yes, seriously .... W. T. F. ? :ahahah:

Even assuming that the woman's daughter is of age, the woman helped plan the rape of her daughter? Seducing, and if it took it, drugging the daughter ... to impregnate her?

Who was the guy ...... Bill Cosby?

Norman