|
|
|||
| forums: groups: | |||
|
"Family in Crisis"
Love you, too
Just need to vent somewhere but it's been almost a year without any steady income.
My father lost his job when he got Cancer, and finding a job feels near impossible. Myself and my parents are supported only by my father's mother, who just had a pacemaker put in.
I spent my whole life studying film, I used to be in love and was about to start living with someone. They left me on Christmas, over the phone, after years of being together.
All of my friends stopped talking to me years ago because of the problems I had no control over.
It's been at least ten years of being alone with my thoughts- I'm terrified to try dealing with the world the way it is given how I was kicked from community college.
I worked my fingers to the bone behind the scenes of their theater department, figuring out how to achieve certain things that nobody else wanted to worry about- Trap doors, pullies, doubles, running from one side of the stage to the other for the dumb puppet show "Avenue Q". Never received anything for any of that work, or anything else I had done for other plays....
I was kicked out because the class favorite, a girl who didn't even have to audition for parts wanted my job backstage, AND we were about to begin rehearsing for a small play in which she played a character that was in a relationship with a character that I was cast to play. I keep to myself, while the drama club is very much a clique. Within the week of being cast- I was called to the administration office where a man behind a desk told me that I was sexually harassing the class favorite female. There was absolute no mediation at any point, and I was expelled from the school, leaving people who had been friendly to me not even willing to look me in the face. The day I had the teacher sign the paper making it official, every possible person avoided eye contact with me. My reputation for being quiet, shy, and generally polite didn't matter at all.
It's left me depressed and inactive for ten years or more. I have no real ambition because I'm afraid that even if I do well, it can be taken away over something that never even happened in the first place, without any questions being asked.
Still looking for a job while we take care of my dad. I just needed to vent as my family is very much on the brink of falling apart, as more problems enter our lives that we have to deal with in addition to simply trying to get by.
I would never commit suicide. It's just difficult to imagine anything positive happening, or that any progress will ever be made. I honestly feel like the only happiness in my life comes from heavy focus on something unimportant, while ignoring the numerous problems that make me feel like a ghost.
My father lost his job when he got Cancer, and finding a job feels near impossible. Myself and my parents are supported only by my father's mother, who just had a pacemaker put in.
I spent my whole life studying film, I used to be in love and was about to start living with someone. They left me on Christmas, over the phone, after years of being together.
All of my friends stopped talking to me years ago because of the problems I had no control over.
It's been at least ten years of being alone with my thoughts- I'm terrified to try dealing with the world the way it is given how I was kicked from community college.
I worked my fingers to the bone behind the scenes of their theater department, figuring out how to achieve certain things that nobody else wanted to worry about- Trap doors, pullies, doubles, running from one side of the stage to the other for the dumb puppet show "Avenue Q". Never received anything for any of that work, or anything else I had done for other plays....
I was kicked out because the class favorite, a girl who didn't even have to audition for parts wanted my job backstage, AND we were about to begin rehearsing for a small play in which she played a character that was in a relationship with a character that I was cast to play. I keep to myself, while the drama club is very much a clique. Within the week of being cast- I was called to the administration office where a man behind a desk told me that I was sexually harassing the class favorite female. There was absolute no mediation at any point, and I was expelled from the school, leaving people who had been friendly to me not even willing to look me in the face. The day I had the teacher sign the paper making it official, every possible person avoided eye contact with me. My reputation for being quiet, shy, and generally polite didn't matter at all.
It's left me depressed and inactive for ten years or more. I have no real ambition because I'm afraid that even if I do well, it can be taken away over something that never even happened in the first place, without any questions being asked.
Still looking for a job while we take care of my dad. I just needed to vent as my family is very much on the brink of falling apart, as more problems enter our lives that we have to deal with in addition to simply trying to get by.
I would never commit suicide. It's just difficult to imagine anything positive happening, or that any progress will ever be made. I honestly feel like the only happiness in my life comes from heavy focus on something unimportant, while ignoring the numerous problems that make me feel like a ghost.
Comments please! Love being TEASED.
Creampie Covered said: Just need to vent somewhere but it's been almost a year without any steady income.
My father lost his job when he got Cancer, and finding a job feels near impossible. Myself and my parents are supported only by my father's mother, who just had a pacemaker put in.
I spent my whole life studying film, I used to be in love and was about to start living with someone. They left me on Christmas, over the phone, after years of being together.
All of my friends stopped talking to me years ago because of the problems I had no control over.
It's been at least ten years of being alone with my thoughts- I'm terrified to try dealing with the world the way it is given how I was kicked from community college.
I worked my fingers to the bone behind the scenes of their theater department, figuring out how to achieve certain things that nobody else wanted to worry about- Trap doors, pullies, doubles, running from one side of the stage to the other for the dumb puppet show "Avenue Q". Never received anything for any of that work, or anything else I had done for other plays....
I was kicked out because the class favorite, a girl who didn't even have to audition for parts wanted my job backstage, AND we were about to begin rehearsing for a small play in which she played a character that was in a relationship with a character that I was cast to play. I keep to myself, while the drama club is very much a clique. Within the week of being cast- I was called to the administration office where a man behind a desk told me that I was sexually harassing the class favorite female. There was absolute no mediation at any point, and I was expelled from the school, leaving people who had been friendly to me not even willing to look me in the face. The day I had the teacher sign the paper making it official, every possible person avoided eye contact with me. My reputation for being quiet, shy, and generally polite didn't matter at all.
It's left me depressed and inactive for ten years or more. I have no real ambition because I'm afraid that even if I do well, it can be taken away over something that never even happened in the first place, without any questions being asked.
Still looking for a job while we take care of my dad. I just needed to vent as my family is very much on the brink of falling apart, as more problems enter our lives that we have to deal with in addition to simply trying to get by.
I would never commit suicide. It's just difficult to imagine anything positive happening, or that any progress will ever be made. I honestly feel like the only happiness in my life comes from heavy focus on something unimportant, while ignoring the numerous problems that make me feel like a ghost.
My father lost his job when he got Cancer, and finding a job feels near impossible. Myself and my parents are supported only by my father's mother, who just had a pacemaker put in.
I spent my whole life studying film, I used to be in love and was about to start living with someone. They left me on Christmas, over the phone, after years of being together.
All of my friends stopped talking to me years ago because of the problems I had no control over.
It's been at least ten years of being alone with my thoughts- I'm terrified to try dealing with the world the way it is given how I was kicked from community college.
I worked my fingers to the bone behind the scenes of their theater department, figuring out how to achieve certain things that nobody else wanted to worry about- Trap doors, pullies, doubles, running from one side of the stage to the other for the dumb puppet show "Avenue Q". Never received anything for any of that work, or anything else I had done for other plays....
I was kicked out because the class favorite, a girl who didn't even have to audition for parts wanted my job backstage, AND we were about to begin rehearsing for a small play in which she played a character that was in a relationship with a character that I was cast to play. I keep to myself, while the drama club is very much a clique. Within the week of being cast- I was called to the administration office where a man behind a desk told me that I was sexually harassing the class favorite female. There was absolute no mediation at any point, and I was expelled from the school, leaving people who had been friendly to me not even willing to look me in the face. The day I had the teacher sign the paper making it official, every possible person avoided eye contact with me. My reputation for being quiet, shy, and generally polite didn't matter at all.
It's left me depressed and inactive for ten years or more. I have no real ambition because I'm afraid that even if I do well, it can be taken away over something that never even happened in the first place, without any questions being asked.
Still looking for a job while we take care of my dad. I just needed to vent as my family is very much on the brink of falling apart, as more problems enter our lives that we have to deal with in addition to simply trying to get by.
I would never commit suicide. It's just difficult to imagine anything positive happening, or that any progress will ever be made. I honestly feel like the only happiness in my life comes from heavy focus on something unimportant, while ignoring the numerous problems that make me feel like a ghost.
Don't give up
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HClZwFNNMKs
I can dm on on potential ways to work from home.
Your father can be your focus write out a plan and put your goals placed where you can see them everyday
https://youtu.be/nMJUbZrNnA8
Can you meet people in a meetup setting?
Here is a link to a discord with other wammers
https://discord.gg/ZQeXZvD8
Theater and film can be fun but it can get dicey see if you can find a local film club or theater club to meet in person
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=de1aPKXBdAE
Paint with play and surrender
first and foremost, whatever happens in the external world you have to recognize your inherent value. not easy when life and circumstances around you are falling apart, but essential in getting through hardship.
Second, with unemployment so low and so many looking for people to work, sometimes it's good to get anything to start to bring in cash flow...start some inertia...
Ok, I'll keep pondering-but first, you are inherently worthy!
Second, with unemployment so low and so many looking for people to work, sometimes it's good to get anything to start to bring in cash flow...start some inertia...
Ok, I'll keep pondering-but first, you are inherently worthy!
College is starting to become over-rated in some fields anyway, because the cost is so high, but the payoff isn't there.
You indicated that you're good at working with your hands. Ever considered a trade? The pay for an electrician or welder can be very good. You could even do a more "creative" trade, like piano tuning.
Good entry-level office jobs are hard to find these days, but if you have your heart set on an office Job, look at the civil service exams for your city/county governments. Pass the typist exam, and you may have some opportunities.
Really sorry about what you've been through. Sounds like you were dealt a rough hand at that college. But you can't control what anyone else does, you can only control yourself. Get out, start making money, and take control of your life. Yes, you might be struck by lightning, or hit by a reckless driver, but maybe not! If/when a setback happens, you have to get back up and keep moving forward. Give good luck an opportunity to find you.
I'll leave you with a quote I once heard somewhere about making tough decisions... "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
You indicated that you're good at working with your hands. Ever considered a trade? The pay for an electrician or welder can be very good. You could even do a more "creative" trade, like piano tuning.
Good entry-level office jobs are hard to find these days, but if you have your heart set on an office Job, look at the civil service exams for your city/county governments. Pass the typist exam, and you may have some opportunities.
Really sorry about what you've been through. Sounds like you were dealt a rough hand at that college. But you can't control what anyone else does, you can only control yourself. Get out, start making money, and take control of your life. Yes, you might be struck by lightning, or hit by a reckless driver, but maybe not! If/when a setback happens, you have to get back up and keep moving forward. Give good luck an opportunity to find you.
I'll leave you with a quote I once heard somewhere about making tough decisions... "In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
With the way Title IX is written, there is a zero tolerance in effect. I would have expected a disciplinary committee or an investigation where you were given a chance to tell your side of the story. Unless there was overwhelming evidence like it was caught on camera. Don't let one incident that may or may not have happened a decade ago control your life. If you are interested in film, go make a movie. There are a lot of movies being made on iphones and androids. Go sign up to work on movies. Texas is a breading ground of independent movies and you can definitely get your foot in the door. If it comes up, don't victim blame like in this post. I would say it was a misunderstanding where 2 people who were supposed to be in a relationship in a play got mixed signals. You both were young people and sometimes misunderstandings happen.
Don't let the little things that happen eat at you like this. There is a lot of thankless work that happens in jobs and especially in theater. Use the skills you acquired figuring out the rigging for the Avenue Q play to help you going forward. Or, if you can't do anything related to theater because of the experience, find something you like. There are a LOT of free classes from colleges online that you can take. There is also an abundance of free training and content on Youtube for various professions. Find one and get lost in it. The sooner you get lost in something the sooner you will be able to go forward with life. Find better friends. Go to quiz nights at a bar. Not sure how far away it is but Austin has a ton of bars that do quiz nights. But don't keep sitting with your thoughts. That is when they can beat you up for negative experiences that have happened, like they have been.
One experience does not have to define your life or who you are. You control the narrative, define yourself the way you want to. Find what is right for you and go after it.
Don't let the little things that happen eat at you like this. There is a lot of thankless work that happens in jobs and especially in theater. Use the skills you acquired figuring out the rigging for the Avenue Q play to help you going forward. Or, if you can't do anything related to theater because of the experience, find something you like. There are a LOT of free classes from colleges online that you can take. There is also an abundance of free training and content on Youtube for various professions. Find one and get lost in it. The sooner you get lost in something the sooner you will be able to go forward with life. Find better friends. Go to quiz nights at a bar. Not sure how far away it is but Austin has a ton of bars that do quiz nights. But don't keep sitting with your thoughts. That is when they can beat you up for negative experiences that have happened, like they have been.
One experience does not have to define your life or who you are. You control the narrative, define yourself the way you want to. Find what is right for you and go after it.
