This is a question for all those of us who actually get messy ourselves/with each other, as opposed to just those who like to watch.

I was wondering if when you have a WAM session, do you just get covered in mess for the sheer pleasure of it, or is there something in the back of your mind that is more than that - a little scenario playing out that you wish was really happening or just to heighten the fantasy?

When I was little and used to go and play in the mud, I used to pretend it was a witch who threw me in the mud as a sort of sloppy imprisonment. I think it was probably heavily influenced by Grotbags, who was the stereotype witch character on Motormouth (if I remember rightly, the ITV Kids Saturday morning show in the mid 80's which also featured a game where kids had to jump in a pool of slime to retrieve items and win prizes, which naturally I just wished I could go on).

More recently, I've noticed that during self-wam sessions I also sometimes almost subconsciously build in a back story. It's not always the same; perhaps sometimes it's imagining I'm being watched by someone, sometimes it's submission to an imaginary dominatrix, and other times it might be a revenge act on a chef who prepared all the food. Perhaps most commonly, in line with my childhood fantasies, it's part of a gameshow.

I'm curious to find out if anyone else has these back stories and what they are, and how far do you take the back story - do you play out the entire scenario?

(I once combined my ex's schoolgirl fantasy with my WAM fetish. We played out a student/teacher scenario for a whole evening, ending with me cutting off her school uniform and burning it on the fire, and then forcing her upstairs to be fucked in a bathtub full of shaving foam.... ...good times!)

I always have a back story. Some get rather elaborate, some have been getting added to for, I dunno, 30 years. Always getting refined and whatnot. The story is a big part of the thrill. (If you ever saw my old website you know this.) But it's almost never muddy or wet just for the sake of it, unless it's so completely spontaneous that I don't even have time to think of how I'm getting home after.
Don't have time to elaborate on the stories now though. Perhaps later.

I always try to add a backstory... sometimes it's as simple as getting payback for a previous messy attack or maybe even a contest/bet we had... I do agree though it does add a little something to it when the pie hits you in the face because you publicly pied her and she wants revenge or that custard is pouring down on you because you were stupid enough to bet against her for something...

I'm told by her also that it's so much more fun pouring a carton of custard over your partners head because you won and can gloat a little while you deliver it... and that feeling of satisfaction when you were publicly humiliated and this is payback is second to none!

Thanks, I think that's a very valid standpoint. I think perhaps that's the reason I asked the question in the first place.

In many respects, my self-WAM experience has been about the tactile sensation - I once constructed an enormous cake to dive into, simply because I wanted to feel what it felt like to dive into a massive cake. The fantasy was able to become a reality because the fantasy never included a sexual partner from the outset. It was always going to be, in sexual context, an act of incredibly sensual masturbation, and in the non-sexual context, fun, relaxation, excitement and study/research all roled into one big act of self-fulfilment. If there had been a sexual partner there, the experience would have been different - who would have been the one to take that breathtaking initial dive into the cake? Would the focus have been on her more than on the feeling of the cake icing oozing all over my body? This is not to say that I wouldn't want to do the same thing with a sexual partner, but that would have to be something else entirely - I'd want to do the same thing both on my own AND with a partner as two separate experiences. I am able to say that because for me WAM is a full blown fetish - it's exceptionally rare for me to get off without at least thinking about some sort of messy situation, so I am content to get messy alone without the pressing need to have involved someone else and feel a lack of gratification as a result - in fact the opposite is true - I feel I'm being true to myself when I get messy.

Of course, having a partner who is into getting messy too would be the ultimate, because when you have a certain aspect of your personality that someone else shares, then you have a very strong emotional connection. It would be true of anything - a hobby you're passionate about, an idiosyncrasy; any aspect that's fairly unique to you that you suddenly find is shared by a member of the opposite sex is going to be a big link with that person, and a potential booster in forming a relationship. I guess the difference of whether you need another person to enjoy the act of getting messy depends on the stimuli that cause the desire to do that in the first place. I have had ex-girlfriends who I had WAM sessions with, but it was always them entertaining my fetish - I've only ever even spoken to a small handful of women for whom the actual fetish was shared, mostly via this forum. I'm grateful for their insights as it's kept my faith that there are ladies out there who don't just enjoy WAM but genuinely center on it, but it does appear that the majority of those who partake in WAM are male, and I think the majority of those are not in a relationship where they regularly get messy with their partner. My wife is not into WAM, but as I say, it's my fetish, and part of me, so for me personally, whilst I'd love to have WAM sessions with a girl again, I've reconciled that it's something I indulge in for me, and in many respects to have a partner there is just a bonus.

Back story over, this leads me back to the topic, because the presence of the back stories in my mind as I get messy has taken me a bit by surprise. Previously, I was all about discovering new sensations, and perhaps now because I've tried almost everything, I maybe feel at a semi-conscious level that I need to add the back story to spice up the session and make it about more than just physical sensation. Perhaps it's that the back story validates the WAM session, because it rationalises my seemingly irrational behaviour? For example, if I am sitting on a cake just for the hell of it, I know pretty much how it's going to feel, and I know I'll like it, and I'm OK with all that, but if I make it part of a game (like how many cakes can you sit on in one minute), or an act of revenge (on the imaginary character who made the cake), then it means I'm taking that part of me which I completely accept as me, but might need additional explanation to the rest of the world, and putting it in a justified context.

That got a bit heavy, but I think it touches on why I asked the question. Aside from anything, it can feel quite fun having the back story as it adds a new dynamic that wasn't there before. In many respects it's slightly redundant here because 50% of the WAM videos we see being released have some sort of flimsy back story to them that inevitably results in mess, so the question is pretty much answered.

Marriages are way more than just sex, even though that's important. You really have to focus on something greater than yourself and your own pleasure. People seem to think you just cycle through people until you find "the one.". But that wasn't how it was for the first 10,000 years. Put your backs up to each other and fight against all the forces trying to tear your marriage and family apart. If you aren't equally sexually yoked, just work to find a compromise. Do stuff the other enjoys. Show the other you care. Don't die lonely because you couldn't live a romantic comedy your entire life.

Yep. I see that, and in response to your first post, I was putting the emphasis on being happy in yourself rather than trying to pin hope on finding satisfaction through another person. I see that you're not at that point in life, but I think some people here might be. I for one am happy with self-WAM sessions because I'm only trying to make them work for me. (And whilst my relationship with my wife is far from perfect, it would definitely feel wrong to break up over differences in our approach to sex - right now it would feel wrong to break up at all - ultimately we love each other.)

So bringing it back on topic, I guess I just found it surprising that I almost subconsciously introduced other "characters" into my sessions. That said, it's merely for fun, and not out of a specific yearning to be getting messy with another person (but as mentioned, that would be nice). Adding the back story makes getting messy more than just getting messy. I suppose it could simply be called adult play.

It's preferable for me when having a backstory. It let's you get into you're character, and takes the wam beyond just petty fun. Assuming the role of a character and getting messy in the context, that's what I enjoy. But I would never turn down WAM, backstory or not!

Yeah for me it is extremely complex. Might as well be a one act play. Thankfully I can function (sexually) without the WAM content, but holy shit does it enhance it when it does happen (though rarely). Interesting to note that those who I have done sessions with have commented that it was the creativity of the scene that swayed them into doing it. Well that and $$$

I have a back story, based on my own personal fantasies and turn-ons. I try to incorporate that as much as possible into a real session by asking for what I want (e.g. a pie rubbed into my hair). However, my fantasy has a lot of parts and I may not be able to get them all in one session. I'm generally OK with that, so I haven't had to imagine something that isn't actually happening. A long time ago, finding any sort of messy situation was rare enough that I learned to take what I could get. I'm glad I did - I tried a lot of things, like mud, that I might never have considered, just because they were available. Some of those things were fantastic, and are now a part of my new back story!