Been with my partner a long time now and we have a great relationship and always been very open to trying new things in the bedroom (within the normal boundaries, nothing crazy, just sexy).

We've often spoke about fetishes and she doesn't really have any and as someone with a really deep WAM fetish it's always something i've kept secret. Part of me would love to open up and tell her the truth about something that really turns me on but at the same time you worry they would find it bizarre or weird. In all honesty i'm not really expecting her to indulge my fantasy, but part of me hates the fact it's a secret!

I'd be interested to hear other peoples experiences (male and female, positive and negative) where they have opened up and what the end result was!

My advice is to just tell her. Let her know that it's a fetish you've struggled to tell her about. Based on what you've already said about her, I think she'd be fine with it. Now whether she's willing to indulge it for you is a different story. If she's willing to give it a try, take it slow and start small at first and take it from there. If she decides its not for her, its still a win as you no longer have this secret between you.

In my case, I revealed it to my boyfriend within the first 6 months of dating. Unfortunately, I still had a lot of shame around it and so I struggled to talk to him about it. It wasn't until 4 and a half years into the relationship, that I felt confident enough to actively talk to him about it and plan a messy session between us. I owe this confidence progress to starting my then messy twitter and my current bsky and sharing it with him.

GC says it well. I would suggest maybe lie GC says, saying you've been embarrassed to mention it to her and show her the most mildest clip you can find (but keep it very short, enough to visualise your fetish to her but also not to overload her) Maybe after a drink or two, so it's a relaxed atmosphere. Disregard if you're a non alcy drinker like me lol

I was open about it from very early on in my relationship- my partner is very open minded and we've had some fantastic messy times together.

If/When you tell her about your interests, be specific about which parts of WAM you love and want to explore with her.
I'm into gunge, told my partner I was into sploshing- which she then googled and got a video of lesbians eating chocolate cake off each other asses, which being chocolate looked like a scatology scene and completely grossed her out and lead to me promising never to eat chocolate cake off her ass!

I started opening up with my partner maybe 6 months in, aligned with a house move which meant I had a bigger private space to work with.

But before that, I would send her naughty home videos where I would sensually cover and rub my body in sweet things she would want to lick off me, and of course a little explicit...

You don't need to go into the stuff you're embarrassed to talk about straight away. But also remember, if you introduce it as something you're ashamed of, that's a negative introduction.. not something we'd recommend!

I've told several partners over the years about this kink and no one has ever responded negatively. Most have wanted to at least try it to some extent. I also tend to only date kinky people but even the more vanilla ones were okay with trying it out.

Your girlfriend seems to be open minded and has been with you for years so this is a great starting point!

One thing that may be helpful is to stress to her how vulnerable it makes you feel to tell her. This seems like it's affecting you. Keeping secrets can cause stress and shame. Even if she doesn't want to participate in it, it can be one less barrier between you and could also potentially strengthen your relationship.

On the one hand, 'just tell her' seems like a reasonable thing. I mean, what could be wrong with truth and honesty?!?

Well, plenty from what I've experienced!

You say she 'has no fetishes'. So you two have talked about them? Was it one-sided where she said 'none' and you kept your mouth shut on yours? Or you talked about hers and she said 'none' and the conversation just ended there?

Either way, if it were me, I don't think I'd just be like 'hey, I want to do these different [WAM] scenarios with you.' She could pretty easily think it's 'gross', 'silly', 'dumb' or what ever - especially if she has no fetishes of her own.

IMHO, the best way would be to start with something suggestive and see how she reacts. A TV show or movie with some sort of scene you enjoy. Or some scenario you can tell her about and gauge reaction, etc.

Probably the greatest successes I've had were telling girls about some time getting stuck in the mud at the lake or suggesting doing a Warrior Dash / Rugged Maniac, etc (muddy obstacle courses). If the reply is 'Oh, that sounds like fun!' - then you know you have the green light to go further. But if things come back as, 'Ewww gross - who would ever...' then you know it's 'not her thing'.

If you do start out, I'd try something pretty main stream like a lot of massage oil and work up. ( I've even tried this and when the reaction was '...feels gross and slippery, where is a towel?' I knew that wasn't going anywhere further.)

If you just throw out that you want to cover her an baked beans and molasses...or what ever, that might again trigger some defensive kickback.

I guess the bottom line - if you just tell her, you'll get a yay or nay response and you need to consider what happens if it's nay. If you ease into it and build up slowly, she might find she likes it - without having to worry about that big first step.

Either way, good luck.

My suggestion would be to start with the broad scenarios and emotions that interest you. Examples of that could be:

* Seeing a girl embarrassed, or being embarrassed by a girl
* Silly games where someone is the winner and someone is the loser like the old gameshows, and it's exciting to see who wins and loses
* Things like a wet t shirt contest or jelly wrestling where a girl is highly sexualised for a guy to watch