So I know that cake mix is one of the most common things you can use to wam yourself. The question is why cake mix since it contains gluten? I always thought gluten was the enemy of getting warmed. Is there a thing I'm missing when I find the recipes online or what?

Cake mix doesn't cling to your body hair for whatever reason.

I'm pretty hairy and it does cling to me when I'm helping clean my wifie off and she's usually the main target of our messes

It does ball up if not mixed well and can cook in too hot water
We add tons of cooking oil to it as we mix to help keep it from getting into little sticky balls
My ex and I wamed once and I did not mix well enough or use oil and I through I was going to have to shave my head

Having lots of conditioner helps get it out and dish soap can help cut the oil if that's the last thing you can't wash off

I plan on filling up a 5 gal bucket about how much water:cake mix do I need, and how much oil should I add to prevent the balls? I have a lot of body hair and would like to avoid it. I kinda want it to be thick but not to the point where it doesnt pour well.

Cake mix is the best. I have tried several different brands and I don't recall it ever having formed flour balls like flour does. Something about the extra ingredients in there. Some people add cooking oil as needed but I've never needed to.

As for ratios, just slowly add water and stir. A spoon is good but you can mix it with your hands, just squeeze the cake mix through your fingers a lot to break up clumps and mix the water in. Stop adding water when you hit your desired thickness. The coverage from even thinner cake batter tends to be good, but thicker is thicker.

For a full 5 gallon bucket you will need lots of cake batter...like lots. Unless you want it to be pretty thin. I would practice with a smaller amount (maybe 4-5 boxes, get them at the dollar store) and scale up once you get a feel for it.

Cake batter is so expensive.

I've always used flour in reckless abundance and only ever the cheapest, glutenous, plain stuff at that for chucking over models/mixing on them or making 'evil' pastes. Occasionally with consequences. But learned a lot about how cheap flour 'works'.

I found that the real 'secret' of 'safe' home made cake batter is the following:

1. Use the equal parts rule at all times - crucially for the flour and oil (solid shortening/margarine is better!). 1:1. Sounds like a lot of oil but you can get very cheap oils/margarines/shortenings!

2. Mix dry with a stand mixer or mixing paddle attached to a drill in a bucket to properly incorporate the oil into the mixture. Add colour (and sugar!) at this stage too to properly incorporate it.

3. Once you've got a consistently oily paste - then add water, never before.

Don't mix flour and water first! Even a few minutes in the water and 'pockets' of gluten will resist mixing properly with any amount of oil.

Thanks you guys. This is why I love this place with this info I hope to have a very fun next week. Thanks Trouso for the ratios to use for flour.